Combat Bulletin No. 32 (film #2 on tape #5 of This Film Is Restricted (Marathon Music & Video, 1997)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
In "Activities in the European Theatre of Operations," we get a rundown on the deactivation of various landmines. This footage is quite interesting, though a little hard to watch when you think about how these are real live mines they're handling. In "Vosges Mountain Front," Nazi soldiers are flushed out of various villages. In "Snapshooting Course for Jungle Fighters," we see soldiers learning to shoot at anything that moves in the jungle. In "Italian Front,” we see more slogging through the mud. And "Fighting in Warsaw Suburbs" features quite violent scenes of street fighting. A fairly standard Combat Bulletin with some interesting moments.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Billion Dollar Limited (film #31 on Feature Films). [Category: Hollywood]
In this Fleischer Superman cartoon, Superman must save a runaway train full of gold bullion from some bad guys who are doing their level best to rob it. Lois Lane is in the thick of things, as usual, but this time she gets to take some pot shots at the bad guys with a machine gun, as well as trying to stop the train by pulling the emergency brake. Superman eventually saves the day by manually pulling the cars full of gold to the mint––I guess if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. As usual, the graphic design is beautiful. I’m not a superhero fan, but I must say these Fleischer Supermans are impressive.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Fashion Horizons (film #506 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Hollywood]
Several Hollywood starlets take a bright and breezy vacation in the southwest, while a bright and breezy narrator breezily describes their trip to us, describing every outfit each woman wears in great detail and occasionally throwing in a plug for TWA. Somebody should have shot the writer, though, because there's a fine line between breezy and stupid, and the film's narration repeatedly crosses that line, especially when dealing with native Americans ("One little, two little, three little Indian girls!" exclaims the narrator over a shot of three grown native American women), ancient historical relics ("Her adobe coat blends in with the adobe walls of this ancient structure"), or scenic wonders ("Doggone it! What adjectives are there to describe this magnificent view of the Grand Canyon?"). The visuals provide some historical value, as they provide rare color scenes of 1941, but if you're going to use this for archival footage, cut out the narration and the cheesy music soundtrack, OK?Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Boys Diving, Honolulu (film #17 on America at Work, America at Leisure. Also in the Historical section of Open Video Project). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Some boys dive into the ocean from a wooden spit that sticks out over the water, in a thoroughly unsafe but probably very fun way that would never be allowed today. Hey, you kids get down from there! You’ll break your necks! A 1902 Biograph film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
ABC Afterschool Special Promo (film #84 on ToonTracker Cartoon Showcase). [Category: Commercial]
Artistically-animated end-of-season promo for "ABC Afterschool Specials" during the 70s. This is pleasant to look at, but pretty much what you’d expect.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Anti-War Demonstrators Storm Pentagon (film #61 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
Newsreel story documenting a huge protest and sit-in in Washington DC against the Vietnam War. The smarmy comment by the narrator at the end of the segment that the demonstration proved “everyone a loser” shows the mainstream attitudes towards the anti-war movement at that time. An important document of the 60s protest movement. Tacked on the end is a dull story about a German airplane.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Driving in Fog (film #19 in the Public Info. Films section of TVArk). [Category: Public Service]
Clever and well-made British PSA warning drivers of the dangers of driving in fog by likening it to a child’s game of Blind Man’s Bluff. Effective.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
The Adventures of Batman (film #70 on ToonTracker Cartoon Showcase). [Category: Ouutakes & Obscurities]
Opening to the 60s Saturday morning cartoon version of “Batman.” Pretty cheesy, though there are some amusing lines, such as “Bane of Gotham’s kooky criminals!”Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Baby Boom (film #4 in the 1950s: Blast from the Past section of WPA Film Library). [Category: News]
Breezy newsreel clip about the high 50s birthrate, featuring a cool display that automatically kept track of the US population––definitely an item for the Film Ephemera Museum of Quirky Devices. Beyond that, this contains the typical footage of crying newborns.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
All Nations Shaken by War Crisis (film #46 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Jumbled, fragmented newsreel clip from the early days of World War II. Included are scenes of FDR and other government bigwigs meeting to discuss the crisis, French bigwigs meeting in France to discuss the crisis, Neville Chamberlain smiling while British royalty attend displays of Scottish games and dancing and the commonfolk prepare for war, masses of soldiers goosestepping in Germany, Mussolini rousing the Italian masses, Russia displaying military might, and German troops rolling through the streets of Czechoslovakia. The soundtrack is only in tiny, sparse fragments, with the rest lost, I guess. This makes the footage pretty confusing, but the period being documented is so historic that it has value anyway.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Can Animals Think? (film #3 on Those Naughty Animals DVD (A/V Geeks)). [Category: Educational]
Various simple animal behavior experiments are performed while a rather silly narrator gives his views of what these animals may be thinking. This appears to be made by the same people responsible for Ant City and Bee City, only this film is a lot more low-key and less manic than those two others. I like it better this way. It results in a film that’s mildly weird and mildly amusing.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Color Harmony for Your Home (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #347 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
This 50s film presents a complicated system for choosing paint colors, as well as the colors of everything else in the home, so that the housewife need not rely on her own judgment and risk ending up with a room that’s not “tasteful”. All the colors presented are muted and sick-looking, but that’s the price you pay for being tasteful. That being said, the film is full of great examples of 50s furniture that any self-respecting vintage shop owner would groan over today, and which probably sells for thousands on eBay. My favorite, though, is the colored telephones (Wilbur, where are you when I need you?). Watch for a great scene of the ubiquitous 50s housewife in the film redecorating a room by simply painting over the wallpaper. And listen for lots of great lines, such as “Colorizer creates color order out of confusion,” or “Dial the color harmony of your creative tomorrow!”Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
The Clockmaker's Dream (film #9 on More Melies (A-1 Video). Also, film #10 on The Origins of Cinema, Volume 6: Rare Films (Video Yesteryear, 1997)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
He dreams of three pretty women who keep turning into clocks when he tries to get close to them. I think somebody's been working too hard. As always for Melies, though, the film is lively and creative. A 1903 Melies film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
The Adventures of Popeye (film #19 on ToonTracker Cartoon Showcase). [Category: Hollywood]
This is the Popeye version of Betty Boop’s Rise to Fame. A live action little boy buys a Popeye comic book, then gets beaten up by a bully, causing Popeye to appear and show him the fight scenes from a bunch of his cartoons, I guess by way of instruction. I don’t enjoy Popeye cartoons for the fight scenes generally, so this isn’t as fun as it could be. But the ending is great, featuring the little boy eating a jumbo can of spinach and then knocking the bully over the housetops.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Combat Bulletin No. 30 (film #1 on tape #5 of This Film Is Restricted Boxed Set (Marathon Music & Video, 1997)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Mud, snow, and rain bog down the Allied advance in this combat bulletin. In "Activities in the European Theatre of Operations", a key Nazi battleship is bombed by the RAF near Norway. Bad weather and smoke bombs make this difficult but eventually the ship is sunk. In "Front Line Steel Production", we see steel beams being produced by a Luxembourg steel mill near the front lines. In "Bombed Belgian Rail Networks", we see RAF footage of the aftermath of bombings of Belgian rail lines. Some of the twisted wreckage looks like new forms of art. In "Allied Armies Face Rain and Snow", General Eisenhower inspects troops despite snowy and flooded conditions. In "Rains Slow Allied Armies", Allied troops in Italy battle mud and flood waters more than Nazis. In "Burma Operations", lots of mules are delivered to the front lines (which looks like quite a job––some of them fall off a ferry despite being tied on!), where they are needed as pack animals. We also see timber being cut and processed in the jungle. Mud and mules make this one kind of fun.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
The Boxing Cats (Prof. Weldon’s) (film #34 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Apparently, filmed animal abuse didn’t start with Chevrolet Leader News––they were doing it back in 1894! Two cats in tiny boxing gloves duke it out, while their owner gleefully looks on. Actually, this is pretty arresting footage, though PETA won’t like it. An 1894 Edison film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
All About Eve Trailer (extra on The Ghost and Mrs. Muir DVD (20th Century Fox)). [Category: Commercial]
Bette Davis fans should enjoy this trailer, as she dominates it, though Anne Baxter and Celeste Holm also get in a few bitchy moments. The movie claims to be “All about women––and their men!” but it’s the women we see here, with tongues sharper than any man’s sword. Lots of fun if you like this sort of thing.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Angel’s Wild Women Trailer (extra on Dracula vs. Frankenstein DVD (Troma)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
Very brief trailer for a 70s exploitation pic featuring tough chicks, one of whom sports a whip. This would be campy if it was longer.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Community Fly Control Operations (extra on Godmonster of Indian Flats DVD (Something Weird, 2001)). [Category: Public Service]
Stark public service film from the 50s about controlling flies in small communities. The community of “Jonesville” has a problem––on the surface, it seems squeaky clean, but the constant swarms of flies reveal a seething cauldron of filth under the nice exterior. This would be good David Lynch material, except the film is so starkly made, in grainy black-and-white with narration throughout, that it’s boring. The scenes of huge clouds of insecticide being sprayed everywhere are fairly jaw-dropping, but the rest is dull as dishwater, which, by the way, you shouldn’t be dumping on your plants if you don’t want your house sprayed by masses of chemicals.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
The Accident (film #227 in the Action section of Brickfilms. Also, film #320 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
A short, very amateurish Brickfilm about a guy who attempts suicide by jumping out of his office window. He doesn’t die, but he does cause a number of pratfalls. This almost has the feel of a kid’s pretend game, and it’s not quite funny enough to pull it off. Still, since it takes lots of time and effort to make these things, I’ll be nice and hope this director gets better with practice.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Britain Mourns: Soccer Champs Die in Plane Crash (film #103 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: News]
Newsreel story from the 50s about a plane crash in Germany that killed most of a champion British soccer team. This is pretty ordinary, but tacked to the end is the beginning of a story I really want to see: one about an old army tank demolishing a house. Unfortunately, it cuts off before the good stuff starts.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Air Victims Come Home (film #39 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Short newsreel story from the post-war period about the arrival of the bodies of five American airmen who were shot down over Yugoslavia when their planes went off-course during a storm. Lots of patriotic narration about heroism here, from what seems to have been a tragic accident, but I guess when you die while serving in the armed forces, you die for your country.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Famous People at Play (film #30 in the Documentary section of Movieflix). [Category: Hollywood]
I expected this newsreel featurette, made in 1935, to be filled with footage of Hollywood stars in relaxed moments. There's some of that, but it's really more of a general survey of famous people from the 30s, including sports heros and European royalty. Most poignant are the scenes of the royal figures pursuing various sports and recreational activities, seemingly unconscious of the looming shadow of WWII. Most amusing is a scene of W. C. Fields goofing around on trapeze rings, obviously being held up from the bottom. This is a lot better than I thought it would be. It has a great deal of historical interest, particularly in terms of it being a snapshot of pre-war Europe.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Coffee Break (film #342 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
Jim has a problem. His boss is upset about how workers find a way to tack on lots of extra minutes to their coffee breaks with such unnecessary activities as talking, smoking, going to the bathroom, and, oh yeah, getting coffee. Since Jim is the personnel manager, the boss hands the problem off to him, demanding that he make the workers limit their breaks to 10 minutes on the nose, or else! To intimidate Jim more, he gives him a “gift” of an hourglass that measures 10 minutes and orders him to use it twice a day at coffee break time while he spends exactly 10 minutes thinking of the solution to the problem. The boss especially has a problem with women, lambasting them for spending time in the ladies’ room touching up their appearances (though I’ll bet if any of the women failed to do this, they’d be written up for poor appearance). Not considered is the fact that the workers seem to have to leave the building entirely and patronize a local diner with table service in order to get coffee, something that probably takes a lot more time than 10 minutes. Jim solves the problem by using his 10 minutes to get coffee with a buddy, along with a few extra minutes to have a cigarette and go to the bathroom. This management training film is a lot of fun, with a boss you love to hate and workers who gleefully get as much out of their coffee breaks as possible. The message of wasted time is undercut by the fact that the boss is portrayed as such a control freak with no sympathy for the worker’s position, so that even though the workers are essentially schmoozing on company time, you take their side just to thwart that boss. It ends with a Centronesque “What would YOU do?” ending. I’ll get back to you on that after I go get some coffee.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Beyond Bengal (film #25 on Feature Films. Also, film #11 in the Documentary section of Movieflix). [Category: Hollywood]
This 30s nature adventure documentary is the Asian version of Africa Speaks. It’s somewhat less offensive than the other film, since the natives are treated respectfully for the most part (with the exception of a romantic couple that stages a silly wedding) and at least some of the animal killing does not seem to be gratuitous. This actually looks like it was quite dangerous to make, as there are tigers, leopards, panthers, pythons, and stampeding elephants around every turn, and there are some actual scenes of people getting seriously injured by them. Most upsetting is their treatment of the monkeys––in one scene we see one get captured and humiliated seemingly only because it was annoying, though they do tell us they let it go later (I think they do––it’s hard to tell because there’s a cut in the soundtrack at that point), and in another scene we see a monkey almost being squeezed to death by a python. Granted, that’s nature for you, but since they go on to tell us that they rescued the monkey and kept it for a pet, the amount of time we see it getting squeezed by the python seems gratuitous. This film certainly doesn’t meet today’s standards for animal treatment, environmental practices, or cultural sensitivity, but it moves. And it gives us a peek into the wild jungles of Asia back in the days when wild animals were really abundant, giving the film historical value.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Buying Food (film #7 on AV Geeks. Also, film #10 on The Educational Archives, Vol. 8: Social Engineering 201 DVD (Fantoma, 2003)). [Category: Educational]
Straightforward Centron home ec film about getting the most from your food dollar. This is fun because it shows lots of 50s food products and 50s supermarkets. And just because it’s a home ec film, a genre I particularly enjoy. Also fun is the opening and closing theme music that sounds like Centron hired the organist at the local roller rink to do it. Beware of impulse buying, or you might end up like the bad example in this film, with a dinner consisting of oysters, rutabaga and stale cake.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Bowery Waltz (film #33 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]
A couple demonstrates a dance for us, said dance looking like either the dancers are participants in the last round of a dance marathon, or under the influence of alcohol. I suspect it’s the latter, and the title is meant to be a joke, but don’t quote me on that. An 1897 Edison film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
An Affair to Remember Trailer (extra on The Ghost and Mrs. Muir DVD (20th Century Fox)). [Category: Commercial]
Classy, well-made trailer for An Affair to Remember, starring Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr. These two stars are great fun to watch, so the trailer wisely lets the scenes speak for themselves with a minimum of commentary. It’s nice to see scenes from a good movie for a change.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
A Clever Dummy (film #43 in the Silent section of Movieflix). [Category: Early Film & TV]
A pair of mad scientists create an android version of Ben Turpin––now that's what I call mad! Unfortunately, the real Ben Turpin is also in the film and the expected havoc ensues when the two are confused. A mildly fun and wacky Keystone farce. A 1917 Keystone film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ****.
Adland: Opening, George Lois (film #9 on Media Burn Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
Opening of the film Adland, featuring singing McDonald’s hamburger puppets (you know how I feel about singing and dancing food, folks…), a Pontiac men’s choir, and commercial director George Lois, talking about what it’s all about for him. This makes me wish they had put up the whole film, rather than just excerpts from it.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Combat Bulletin No. 28 (film #2 on tape #4 of This Film Is Restricted Boxed Set (Marathon Music & Video, 1997)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
This one is pretty standard, with a few interesting moments here and there. In "Activities in European Theatre of Operations", we see fierce fighting in Holland. In "Glider Pick-Up at Eindhoven", all those gliders that were dropped on Holland in previous segments get picked up using a clever hooking device which allows a pick-up without the plane landing. In "Air Force Fighter Kills", we see aerial combat footage over Europe. In "Liberation of Greece", the Greeks enthusiastically welcome Allied troops and celebrate the defeat of the Nazis. In "Activities in Burma", we see Chinese doctors treating the wounded in a very makeshift jungle hospital, including some very graphic scenes of abdominal surgery (don't watch this one while you're eating, folks). In "The Naval Battle of the Phillipines", we see Navy combat footage from said battle, including lots of animated sequences detailing the strategy used.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Driver Fatigue (film #18 in the Public Info. Films section of TVArk). [Category: Public Service]
Straightforward British PSA warning drivers about falling asleep at the wheel on long car trips. Good thing, it’s short––I was starting to feel a little drowsy myself.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Accident at Crystal Café (film #21 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
Uhhh…something happens in a restaurant that seems to be on the deck of a ship in choppy waters. I think it may involve food poisoning. This brickfilm is so poorly lit and animated, and has such soft sound I really couldn’t make heads or tails of it.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: **.
Breaking News (film #2 in the News section of TVArk). [Category: News]
Clip from a news break-in from Sky News on a football team being disciplined for misconduct. This is appropriately chaotic, but too short to be of much interest.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Air Smashes Devastate Germany (film #38 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Newsreel story about American air raids on Germany during World War II. This mostly involves lots of things being blown up real good, including Wittenburg, home of Martin Luther, the narrator tells us. Guess it’s rubble now.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Coca-Cola Bottling Plant, Arabia/North Africa (film #341 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
From our International Ephemera Department, we get this factory tour film about bottling Coca-Cola in some Arabic country, completely narrated in Arabic. It’s fairly standard factory tour fare (though why they chose to include an extended sequence on making burlap bags I don’t know), until the end, when we find out that polite, well-heeled folks in this country enjoy going out to nightclubs in the evening and drinking Coca-Cola while singing along to a catchy advertising jingle. I don’t remember this from geography class.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Young Man's Fancy (MST3K Episode #610: The Violent Years. Also in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #1723 on Prelinger Archive. Also, track #30 on Ephemeral Films CD-ROM (Voyager) (excerpts)). [Category: Industrial]
Teen-aged Judy falls head over heels for her older brother's friend Alexander Phipps––he makes her feel "squishy"––but Alex is too obsessed with electrical appliances and time and motion study to notice her. So Mom comes to the rescue, helping Judy plot a "nice little conspiracy" involving a nice home-cooked meal made in their all-electric kitchen. This film was made by a group of electric companies, and no opportunity was missed to plug electrical appliances. A very ripe piece of 50s camp.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Msting: ***. Overall Rating: *****.
Bees’ Buzz (film #20 on Feature Films). [Category: Hollywood]
Wacky Mack Sennett comedy from the early sound era involving an elopement, a chase by an angry father and a rival suitor, a cow costume, a car stalling on the railroad tracks, a justice of the peace in a steam cabinet, some golfers, and a beehive that goes down the rival suitor’s pants. Many of the individual gags fall flat, but the overall silliness of the proceedings and the fast pace make this pretty amusing anyway. There is a real 20s feeling to this film, which is rare in a sound film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ***.
False Vases (film #5 on Felix the Cat, Vol. 1 (Video Resources, 1994)). [Category: Hollywood]
Felix breaks a Chinese vase at home and fears the wrath of his cranky wife. So, naturally, he gets his dog to dig a hole to China so he can get a new one. This is one of the weaker Felixes, but it's still pretty fun in places. My favorite moment is when Felix transforms four snakes into a sort of pipe organ. Lots of mileage (literally) is gotten from the Chinese guys' long pigtails and several laws of physics are routinely broken. Felix finally returns to his side of the world with an acceptable vase, which he immediately breaks, starting the whole cycle over again.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Bicycle Safety (film #2 on AV Geeks). [Category: Educational]
Dry Centron bicycle safety film containing rules, rules, and more rules for riding your bike. There are a few amusing moments of examples of what not to do, and the overall environment is very representative of 50s suburbia, but mostly this is pretty tedious.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Boston Blackie (film #6 on Side A of Disc 5 of TV Favorites DVD Megapack (Treeline Films, 2003)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Episode of an early 50s crime show based upon a radio program. Detective Boston Blackie helps an old ex-con friend of his beat a robbery rap really committed by his brother. This is standard crime show fare, and rather cheaply done as well, though Blackie’s black fenderless convertible is cool.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Angels with Dirty Faces Trailer (film #1 on Disc 1 of The Adventures of Robin Hood DVD (Warner Bros., 2003)). [Category: Commercial]
Fairly standard trailer for the gangster pic Angels with Dirty Faces. No surprises here, but it is representative of the trailers you might have seen in a theater when The Adventures of Robin Hood was playing.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Adland: McDonald’s Commercial (film #8 on Media Burn Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
Another clip from Adland, this one showing us the filming of a McDonald’s commercial. The guy who plays Ronald McDonald is interviewed, as well as the director of the commercial and the man in charge of the campaign. They are shown enjoying their work, and viewing this type of advertising as subtle and sophisticated. This is not quite as strange as the Adland clip featuring Mason Reese, but it’s still fairly interesting.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Bus Nut (film #6 on AV Geeks). [Category: Educational]
A little girl is a “bus nut”––that is, she’s obsessed with the school bus and following all the safety rules. Amazingly enough, this doesn’t get her beaten up by the other kids. This is a very 70s film, with all the right enlightened 70s casting choices. The main character is African American, the kids are different races, and the bus driver is a woman. Other than that, this could be a 50s film in its heavy-handedness and unrealistic portrayals of children (at least the “good” ones––the “bad” ones seem pretty real). And the acting will make you wince. Making this a fairly campy blast from the 70s.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Don’t Run (film #16 in the Public Info. Films section of TVArk). [Category: Public Service]
Very brief 70s PSA that purports the interesting idea that you shouldn’t run down the street and around a corner, because construction workers actually do walk around with huge plates of glass for people to run into, just like in every slapstick comedy you’ve ever seen. A curiosity.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ****.
Abracadabra (film #20 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms. Also, film #4 in the Music Video section of Brickfilms. Also, film #5 in the Sci-Fi section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
A Lego guy does a really bitchin’ magic act until the Alien Police arrive and arrest him for practicing magic without a license. The makers of this film probably got busted by the Brickfilm Police for using––gasp!––PLAY-DOUGH for the alien heads. I’ll forgive it, though, because it is a genuinely funny film with several good lines, an easily impressed Lego audience, and cute alien heads.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Breakfast Time Special: Zeebrugge Tragedy (film #1 in the News section of TVArk). [Category: News]
Opening of a BBC special report on a 1987 Belgian shipwreck. This is most interesting for the programs the clipped British announcer says are being preempted: a gambling show and a children’s program! Other than that, this is ordinary.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Circular Panorama of Electric Tower (film #39 on American at Work, America at Leisure. Also, film #65 on Edison Film Archive. Also, film #2 on The Last Days of a President. Also in the Historical section of Open Video Project. Also, film #6 on The Origins of Cinema, Volume 1: The Films of Thomas Edison (Video Yesteryear, 1995)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Surrounding the electric tower is a lot of striking neoclassical architecture. I wonder how much of it still stands. A 1901 Edison film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Air Forces Come Home via Bomber (film #37 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Wartime newsreel featuring stories about airmen coming home from Europe after V-E day, though only to train and prepare to go to the Pacific; Secretary of State Stettinius proclaiming the Four Freedoms; Herbert Hoover being consulted by Truman for advice on distributing food to war-torn Europe; a one-armed baseball player; and grisly fighting on the island of Okinawa. Apart from the one-armed ballplayer, this is pretty standard wartime fare.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
A Coach for Cinderella (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #339 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
Not satisfied with just fooling around with newsreels (see the endless permutations of Chevrolet Leader News), Chevrolet had to go and make a cartoon, too. Actually, this is pretty charming. It features a bunch of elves from the wrong fairy tale who decide to help out Cinderella by making her a coach from a pumpkin, a turtle shell, some caterpillars, and lots of other stuff from the forest. They assemble the coach in a way suspiciously similar to an automobile assembly line. Then they put it into a great contraption called a “Modernizer”, and out comes––wait for it––a brand new Chevrolet! This could pass for one of the many fairytale-themed cartoons made during the 30s, and its advertising message is not too heavy-handed. Making this one of the more fun examples of the industrial genre.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Combat Bulletin No. 24 (film #2 on tape #3 of This Film Is Restricted Boxed Set (Marathon Music & Video, 1997)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
This is mostly about the Allied advance in Germany. In "Channel Coast Activities", the Army Air Corps bombs German merchant vessels in the English Channel. In "Ordinance Repairs", tanks are repaired (that's it, really). In "German Frontier Operations", several U.S. armies advance across the German frontier. In "Additional Film Airborne Operations", more paratroops and supplies are dropped on Holland. There's an interesting little clip from a camera strapped to a paratrooper's chest (making you want to shout "Jane! Stop this crazy thing!!"). In "Toulon Harbor Installations", we are shown various captured German installations near Toulon, Italy. In "Invasion of Palau Islands", we see Air Force and Naval footage of said invasion, including footage of bombing, naval maneuvers, and the building of an airstrip on a captured island. One of the more ordinary Combat Bulletins.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Be Good to Me (film #1 in the Film section of Bedazzled. Also, film #3 in the Video section of Bedazzled. Also, film #1 on Scopitones). [Category: Hollywood]
Petula Clark sings a pop ditty that urges her lover to be good to her. She sings this while riding in a boat towing a male waterskier. Then she goes to the wharf and hangs out with the fishmongers. OK, the ditty is cute and sincere, but the visuals in this Scopitone make you wonder what is really going on in this relationship.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Bicycle Clown (film #2 on AV Geeks). [Category: Educational]
A boy poorly narrates the story of his younger brother Jimmy, a kid who clowns around on his bike in order to impress his peers and thinks safety rules are for sissies. Since this is a Sid Davis film, he is punished for this by getting into an accident which results in him getting gauze wrapped around his head, his arm in a sling, and being confined to a hospital bed. Jimmy’s brother becomes obsessed with finding out why this happened, even though it’s obvious from the beginning that Jimmy is an idiotic daredevil. This is one of the tamer Sid Davis films, though.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Why Play Leap Frog? (film #3 on An American Retrospective Through Animation (Moviecraft, 1994). Also, in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #1681 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
What plays leap frog are wages and prices in a capitalist economy, as this film patiently explains to its Meet King Joe-like hero, an employee at the Dilly Doll Company who gets upset after getting a raise and then finding out the price has gone up on his own company's product (this must have been the days before employee discounts). The explanation given for inflation is that labor costs so darn much. Essentially, the doll's higher price is directly attributed to worker Joe's raise, a depressing message to the workers this film was aimed at. But a way out is presented in the form of technology––advances in manufacturing technology increase productivity and this supposedly keeps wages ahead of prices. I don't know much about economic theory, but this seems awfully simplistic and convenient to business owners. Besides that, the film has the patronizing tone of Meet King Joe. I doubt if many workers really bought this.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ***.
A Bolt of Lightning (film #2 on Side A of Disc 1 of Historic Classics DVD Megapack (Mill Creek Entertainment, 2005)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Charlton Heston stars in this “Studio One” Revolutionary War drama. It tells the story of Boston attorney James Otis, who tried to have writs of assistance, which were documents that allowed hired goons to break into people’s houses and perform destructive searches on a whim, declared illegal in the colonies. The bid is unsuccessful because the judge is in the governor’s pocket. Not only that, but the governor sends his hired goons to beat up Otis, who ends up with a serious head injury. This was supposed to have made him crazy, but it really only seems to slow down Heston’s overbearing performance a little bit. Anyway, the people get fed up and go to war, Otis helps them out a bit, they win, and Otis dies of the title bolt of lightning. This is not too bad for live drama done on primitive sets, but I’m guessing the better “Studio One” episodes are yet to come. More fun are the Betty Furness commercials about Westinghouse appliances––the turkey roaster she demonstrates is the exact same kind of roaster I remember my mother using to cook the thanksgiving turkeys of my childhood.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ***.
Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy Trailer (film #2 in the Movie Trailers section of Bedazzled). [Category: Commercial]
Standard-issue trailer for Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy. Some mildly amusing moments from the film, as well as some hyperbolic ad lines, are included. Mostly this is ordinary, though.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Evicted to the Poor Farm by Her No-Good Son-in-Law (film #1 in the Our Gang on TV section of TVParty). [Catgegory: Hollywood]
Clip from a 1929 Our Gang short, in which Grandma is threatened with being sent to the poor farm by her son-in-law, who swindled her out of her money. This causes the Gang to attack the man, knocking him to the floor and beating on him en masse. This is not something you’d see in films today. The beginning of the clip, which sets up the situation is incredibly tear-jerking, while the battle with the kids is just plain bizarre. A great example of the weirdness of the Our Gang series.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Adland: Dagne Crane, Mason Reese (film #7 on Media Burn Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
Clip from a 1972 underground film about the people involved in making television commercials, featuring a pretty actress who says she does it because she’s a masochist, and Mason Reese, cute, chubby-cheeked star of many 70s commercials. You may not remember his name, but the minute you see him, it will all come rushing back to you. Off-camera moments reveal him to be way more world-savvy than any 7-year-old ought to be, making fun of the product and carrying on like any self-involved adult star. A fascinating behind-the-scenes look at the commercial section of TV Land.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
The Bus Driver (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #264 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]
Straightforward Encyclopedia Britannica film for kids about drivers of long-distance buses. We see a boy and his father go on a long-distance bus ride, and a narrator explains what is happening. About as gripping as, well, a long-distance bus ride.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Amber Gambler Twins (film #2 in the Public Info. Films section of TVArk). [Category: Public Service]
British safe driving PSA on a “We have met the enemy and he is us” theme. An “amber gambler” is somebody who thinks the yellow light means “accelerate so you can beat the red light,” instead of “prepare to stop.” One such bloke gleefully amber gambles until he meets another amber gambler that bears a striking resemblance to…d’oh!! Mildly amusing.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
About a Different Door (film #18 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
This response to About a Door proves that some things really are what they seem to be. Mildly amusing, though it could be funnier.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Children Digging for Clams (film #11 on The Movies Begin, Volume One: The Great Train Robbery and Other Primary Works (Kino Video, 1994). Also, film #11 on The Art of Cinema Begins (Video Yesteryear, 1997) (titled "Children Fishing for Shrimp")). [Category: Early Film & TV]
So are they digging for clams or fishing for shrimp? I call shrimp. Another children's picture-book image. An 1896 Lumiere film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
BBC Election Night (film #19 in the News section of TVArk). [Category: News]
Clip from BBC coverage of the 2005 British election. I was expecting tedium here, but was surprised––this is a great deal of fun, actually. A hyperbolic, yet very British, anchorman promises “to be fast, to be accurate, and to have a bit of fun along the way.” Then we see footage of election workers running around with boxes of ballots, and the co-anchors are given a chance to make hyperbolic pronouncement. Everything is very properly British, of course, so it all comes off as a bit silly. I’d rather watch this than American election night coverage any day.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Adm. Kimmel Testifies on Pearl Harbor (film #31 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Newsreel from the early post-war period featuring stories on Adm. Kimmel testifying in a hearing concerning the attack on Pearl Harbor (he maintains that being let in on certain intelligence information held by the White House would have prevented some loss of life); the United Nations electing a president (Mr. Spock wins––really!); General Eisenhower telling us when the boys will finally be able to come home (he says soon); a British train wreck that killed 10 people, and was the third such wreck in a week’s time, sullying British Rail’s pristine safety record (1’ll say!); a boat show featuring some bizarre floats (Hello, Mr. Sun1); and a speed skating competition (lots of skaters fall down). All in all, it’s a fairly ordinary newsreel, with some mildly amusing moments, giving us a snapshot of what things were like in 1946.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Combat Bulletin No. 23 (film #1 on tape #3 of This Film Is Restricted Boxed Set (Marathon Music & Vidoe, 1997)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Mostly combat footage on this one, with a few interesting moments here and there. In "E.T.O: German Installations", we are shown a number of cleverly camouflaged German installations, including a gun emplacement disguised to look like a movie theater (talk about cinematic bombs!) and an aerodrome disguised to look like a quaint, peaceful village. In "Pacific: Invasion of Morotai Island", we get to see GIs waterproofing their jeeps' and other vehicles' engines with a truly disgusting-looking asbestos paste (not to mention the waterline on General Douglas MacArthur's pants). "B-29s in Operation" is just what is says. The other segments, "5th Army Pierces Gothic Line", "E.T.O.: Allies Capture More French Ports", "Capture of Le Havre", "E.T.O.: Allied Armies Drive on Germany", "American 1st Army" and "British 2nd Army", are all basically just combat footage.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Bookkeeping and You (film #8 on AV Geeks). [Category: Industrial]
This early Coronet film goes through a high school bookkeeping class and gives the reasons why all the students are taking it. This mostly involves students needing to know how to keep the books in various family businesses, meaning that their parents probably made them take the class. We get to see the parents of these students use bookkeeping in various Mom and Pop businesses, a girl who is learning bookkeeping because she wants to become a stenographer and perhaps get promoted to secretary in an office full of male accountants, and the rich kid being forced to take the class so he won’t squander the family fortune, while his Mom checks up on the accuracy of the figures reported by the treasurer of her women’s club. Dick York is wasted in a cameo role, though it is a hoot to see him attempt to be a farmer. And the kid who wants to be a politician is realistically obnoxious––he probably went far in his chosen career. This is not one of Coronet’s best, but because it is by Coronet, it’s a lot more fun than it could have been given its subject matter.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
A Video Tour of the Rudolph Wurlitzer Mfg. Company (Hollywood's Attic, 2000). Also, film #1615 on Prelinger Archive ("A Visit to Wurlitzer")). [Category: Industrial]
This early 20s film takes us through the process of manufacturing one of those big, elaborate organs that used to be in movie theaters during the silent era. It goes all the way from kiln-drying the lumber to installing the organ in a new San Francisco picture pallace. One fun scene features a comparison of the biggest and smallest pipes in the organ. The biggest is several stories high and big enough around that a man can sit comfortably inside of it. The smallest is about the size of a pencil. Many parts of the organ are made with huge machines, while others are carefully hand-built. This is another early industrial film that gives us a fascinating view of another era.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
A Me Piace Celentano (film #1 in the Cinebox section of Bedazzled. Also, film #4 in the Film section of Bedazzled. Also, film #6 in the Video section of Bedazzled. Also, film #4 on Scopitones). [Category: Hollywood]
Wacky Italian (I think) Scopitone featuring a geeky boy with a huge pencil (shut up, Freud!) trying to do his math homework. Now I don’t understand Italian, but I think the point here is that he much prefers twisting with girls about twice his size and one and a half times his age to doing math. Of course, for all I know (Warning: Ethnic Stereotype Ahead!) this could be how the Italians actually teach math. I will say that for a geeky math whiz, this kid dances a mean twist.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: *****.
The Electric House (film #8 on Side 2 of Disc A of Comedy Classics DVD Megapack (Treeline Films, 2004)). [Category: Hollywood]
Buster Keaton plays a recent college grad who gets his diploma in botany mixed up with another grad’s diploma in electrical engineering, and, as a result, gets a job installing electricity in a rich man’s house. He bones up for the job by reading Electricity Made Easy, and thus is able to install lots of clever electrical devices in the man’s house, including an electric stairway, an electric billiards rack, and an electric train that serves dinner. Since this is Buster we’re talking about, though, it’s only a matter of time before everything begins malfunctioning, and to add to the problems, the real electrical engineer shows up and takes his revenge by going into the little room with all the wiring and messing up all the connections. I love films that are full of clever electrical gadgets and this does not disappoint, though it’s hard to tell which is funnier––the devices themselves or watching them malfunction.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
BBC1 Junction Into Welsh Programme (film #2 in the Schools section of TVArk). [Category: Educational]
This starts as a boring clock graphic, with a clipped British announcer telling us the next program will be in Welsh and “only on certain transmitters.” Then, in case we’ve forgotten it’s the 70s, we get to hear the Bee Gees sing “Night Fever.” After a bit, a psychedelic graphic appears, then one of the standard mesmerizing countdown clocks, while the music switches inexplicably to the Pink Panther theme. OK. I only wish they had added a bit of the Welsh program in order to tip the scales on weirdness for this one.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Beverly Hills Uplift Society (film #1 on Burns & Allen, Vol. 3 DVD (Television Classics)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
This early episode of “The Burns & Allen Show” just screams early tv, with its Carnation “from contented cows” opening. The show itself is very funny, as it showcases Gracie’s illogical logic. Gracie’s club, The Beverly Hills Uplift Society, has been locked out of their clubhouse for failing to pay the rent. This is because Gracie, the club’s treasurer, took the $120 earmarked to pay the rent and spent it on a $120 safe to keep it in. This is only the beginning of such ditzy shenanigans, of course. I think what I love about Gracie is that she is gleefully clueless about the havoc she wreaks, and somehow things always manage to work themselves out. The show is charmingly close to its radio roots, with George periodically giving monologues, and Harry Von Zell working the commercial for Carnation milk right into the plot. The show is quite well-preserved considering its age, and the fact that it’s on a bargain $1.99 DVD that comes in a cardboard envelope.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: *****.
The AA (film #2 in the Adverts section of TVArk). [Category: Commercial]
Very 70s singing commercial for the AA, which I take to be the British Automobile Association. Charmingly inoffensive, though I must point out that we Yanks get three A’s in our similar organization. I do think the AA plates that go on the front of the cars are cool, though.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
The Bully (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also film #263 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]
Chick Allen, a high-school kid who spends his time bullying a bunch of grade school kids, makes big plans to bust up the class picnic, even though he’s invited too. He forces all his little victims to go along with his plans. Fortunately, one of them tells his older sister, who is on the picnic planning committee. She tells the rest of the kids in the class and they secretly change the location of the picnic, then stupidly send Chick a note after he and his victims show up at the original picnic site inviting him to come to the relocated picnic. When Chick and his victims show up, Centron asks us, “What do you think?” This is one of the most amateurish Centron productions I’ve seen. The acting is universally horrible, with the actors’ charming Kansas twang not bailing them out this time. The plot is bizarre, with a setup that bears no resemblance to real bullying, except in the infliction of pain and fear in the victims. Still, this makes the movie quite campy and ripe for msting.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
The Dicktator Trailer (film #48 in the Trailers section of Movieflix). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
Really stupid trailer for a really stupid 70s sex comedy about a world crisis of male sterility, which, of course, turns all women into nymphos. Gives you an idea of how silly many of the X-rated films of the 70s were, though that’s not saying that they’re any more intelligent today.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Keep Australia Beautiful #2 (film #121 in the Cult section of TVArk). [Category: Public Service]
Another “Keep Australia Beautiful” PSA from Tom Baker as the Fourth Doctor Who. This one is not quite as much fun as the other one, as it plays more to the kiddie audience, and it’s not quite as much in character with Baker’s Doctor. Still, I enjoy the idea that the Doctor is heading to earth to work on Australia’s pollution problems, though with him on the job one wonders how much the audience thinks it really needs to do about it.Ratings:Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Africa – A Tribute to Humankind (film #251 on Open Source Movies). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
This film is a montage of footage from 30s documentaries about Africa, with world music on the soundtrack. The footage is mostly of either animals or the practices of tribal peoples. Much of it is quite striking, and the music adds a sort of dreamlike quality to things, allowing you to just sit back and enjoy the footage. It makes for an interesting, rather mesmerizing viewing experience, though I think it’s a bit overlong. Still, those with a particular interest in Africa will probably enjoy this, as long as they’re not expecting commentary to go with the visual images.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Automobile for Cross-Country Travel Devised (film #123 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: News]
Newsreel story from the 30s about a newly-invented German car that can drive over roadless country. This is fun to watch, but for some reason, the narration is in German, despite the fact that this was an American newsreel. That makes the clip weirder than it might otherwise be.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Air Army Invades Germany (film #131 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Newsreel clip from World War II documenting several stories from the last days of the European war, including paratroops invading Germany, the capture of Coblenz, the development of a new French plane under the noses of the Nazis, and the 101st Airborne Division being decorated for bravery in the Battle of the Bulge. This has a lot of historical interest, especially the part about Universal’s cameraman in the story about the capture of Coblenz. I know I often wonder about the cameraman when watching such battle footage, and it’s great to see his bravery credited for once.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Childish Quarrel (film #15 on The Movies Begin, Volume One: The Great Train Robbery and Other Primary Works (Kino Video, 1994). Also, film #15 on The Art of Cinema Begins (Video Yesteryear, 1997)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Two overdressed babies fight over a spoon. This film would influence home movies for years to come. An 1895 Lumiere film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Choosing a Classroom Film (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #317 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
This film was made by McGraw-Hill for teachers in order to encourage them to use films in the classroom. It features a guy talking at the camera about the various purposes classroom films can be used, such as “to develop interest” or “to change attitudes.” This would be dull as dishwater, except 1. the guy has uses lots of great signs and visual aids; and 2. he shows clips from various McGraw-Hill films, including that classic of child mind-control, Manners in School. These two factors make the film a great deal of fun and very mstable, plus the fact that this is another example, like Technicolor for Industrial Films, of an ephemeral film about ephemeral films.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Combat Bulletin No. 22 (film #1 on tape #4 of This Film Is Restricted Boxed Set (Marathon Music & Video, 1997)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
This bulletin documents the push across France and Belgium into Germany. In "Operations in France" we are shown lots of street fighting and bombing. In "20,000 Germans Surrender", the most interesting segment, we are shown footage of an actual surrender procedure, as a large German unit surrenders to Americans in France. The actual surrender ceremony is shown and we also get to see huge piles of weapons and other war materials that the Germans turn over to the Americans. In "New Flying Bomb Launching Site", we're shown detailed footage of a German V-1 Flying Bomb launcher that was recently captured by the Americans. In "Allies Move on Germany", we see some of the first footage of ground fighting on German soil. In "British 2nd Army", the British advance through Beligium toward Germany and in "American 1st Army" more American troops cross the border into Germany. In "Airborne Operations", American glider troops prepare for an assault in Holland. It's all pretty standard, though the surrender footage is interesting.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ***.
Big Bad Sinbad (film #18 on Film Chest Vintage Cartoons). [Category: Hollywood]
Popeye takes his nephews (Just what is it with those nephews anyway? They seem more like clones than nephews. Check out the tattoos on their forearms…) to the Nautical Museum where they encounter a statue of Sinbad that looks suspiciously like Bluto, with the legend “THE GREATEST SAILOR IN THE WORLD.” Naturally, Popeye cannot let this assertion stand, so he tells a tall tale about how he whupped Sinbad’s ass (in a matter of speaking). This tale, of course, has little to do with Sinbad, and everything to do with Popeye, including cameo appearances from Olive Oyl and Wimpy. This cartoon is rather ordinary, but it does have some fun moments, including the stuff that Bluto, er, “Sinbad,” knocks out of Popeye’s pockets before he has a chance to eat his spinach.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ****.
U.S.A. Today (film #9 on Lifestyles, U.S.A., Vol. 1 (Something Weird, 2000)). [Category: Industrial]
Industry! Building a better tomorrow! And to distribute the fruits of that industry we have trucks! Big ol' International Harvester trucks! More trucks than you can shake a stick at! More trucks than ever before! Seriously, if you love trucks, then this is definitely your movie. Made during the 50s, it contains more trucks from that period than you will probably ever see in one place in any other film. The advertising art on many of these trucks is quite fun and cool. Oh, and did I mention that the film is about trucks?Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Bombardment of the Taku Forts by the Allied Fleets (film #32 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Some ships pull up to a fort and begin shooting at each other. OK, folks, this looks for all the world to me like it was staged with model boats in front of a backdrop, but the page about it on the Edison Film Archive doesn’t confirm this, just calling it “an exciting naval battle”. So I leave it up to you the reader: Gripping Documentary Footage or Some Guys Playing with Toy Boats? You decide. A 1900 Edison film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Eats Are West (film #8 on Felix the Cat DVD (Delta Entertainment, 2004) ("A Felix Comic"). Also, film #2 on Felix the Cat, Vol. 1 (Video Resources, 1994)). [Category: Hollywood]
Felix the Cat is really cool. Who else do you know that can make an airplane out of a 2 x 4 and some exclamation points that appear above his head when he's surprised? In this cartoon, our master manipulator of reality is hungry and broke, so he goes to the Old West to get something to eat and runs afoul of some gunfighters. Lots of great Felix moments ensue, like him fashioning a horse from a lasso, stealing a bunch of pancakes from the image on a billboard (and running afoul of Aunt Jemima), and hiding behind a stick-figure tree. Watch out when the lights go out, though! Like I said, Felix is cool.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
The Astro-Zombies Trailer (extra on The Astro-Zombies DVD (Image Entertainment, 2000)). [Category: Commercial]
Highly campy, hyperbolic trailer for The Astro-Zombies, a movie that looks like its really really bad. Not only does it feature the title creatures “running amuck” but there’s a mad scientist whose “motives are entirely evil”, and it starts John Carradine, always a sign of quality! It’s a bit gory in spots, but mostly this is a great deal of campy fun.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Black Heat (film #35 in the Trailers section of Movieflix). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
It doesn’t get any baaaaddder than this trailer for a 70s blaxploitation flick, featuring a private dick who’s a sex machine to all the…well, you get the idea. Obviously made for angry black men. Brings back the 70s with a vangance.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Keep Australia Beautiful #1 (film #120 in the Cult section of TVArk). [Category: Public Service]
Tom Baker as the Fourth Doctor discovers from a alien disembodied voice that Australia is going down the tubes due to pollution. He helps out by doing a PSA telling everybody to “Keep Australia Beautiful.” The video quality of this is terrible, but as usual, watching Tom Baker is a delight. I wonder if I throw trash around here if he’ll come to visit me.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Amazone (film #16 in the Action section of Brickfilms. Also, film #17 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms. Also, film #9 in the Drama section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
A plane crashes in the jungle and the survivors have run-ins with a man-eating dinosaur and some hostile natives. Some of the scenes would be gory and upsetting if they weren’t happening to Lego guys, such as when the dinosaur eats one of them. If you want action in a brickfilm, though, this is the one for you––much of it is quite exciting. The dialogue is not in English, so it’s hard to know what they’re saying, but in this action-packed film, it doesn’t seem to matter. Not bad, but some of it is slightly incoherent.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
As World Watched: Spaceman Hailed After U.S. Triumph (film #1 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: News]
Newsreel story about astronaut Alan Shepard being given a medal by President Kennedy and honored in a parade after his historic spaceflight. This has a minor gaffe in it, as Kennedy forgot that he was supposed to pin the medal on Shepard after giving his speech about it. He handles it with his usual humorous aplomb after Jackie reminds him. Unfortunately, this clip is in very creaky condition, so this is hard to see and hear, and that cuts down on its historical value.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Building a Highway (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #262 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]
Do you have a little boy who is fascinated with construction equipment? If so, he should thoroughly enjoy this film, which explains in very simple terms how highways are built and shows lots of cool heavy machinery. All others will find it a dry, boring EB film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Advance on Rome (film #136 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Newsreel stories from World War II documenting the invasion of Rome and the bombing of Berlin. These have historical value, but unfortunately, the print is so dark you can barely see things. This cuts down considerably on the value of this newsreel clip.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Chevrolet Sales Convention Musical (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #1807 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
Apparently, the way to inspire car salesmen to really go out and sell is to show them a Broadway-style musical on that theme, or so it was in the 50s at Chevrolet. This singing and dancing sales pep talk gives you a real feel of the corporate culture at Chevrolet at the time, though what it actually says about it I don’t want to touch with a ten-foot pole. Rogers and Hammerstein these guys ain’t, though they sure try hard. As you might guess, this is tremendously campy and could be used to torture folks who like to think they’re cool. It’s rock and roll that killed this sort of thing––whether or not it was murder or justifiable homicide is up to the viewer to decide.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: *****.
The Child Stealers (film #22 on The Origins of Cinema, Volume 6: Rare Films (Video Yesteryear, 1997)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
A couple of raggedy beggars go around stealing children, though for what purpose is not clear. Eventually they are brought to justice when a child they use in their begging scam is recognized by his parents. Lots of scenes of mothers wailing and gnashing teeth after turning their backs on their children for just a minute. A 1903 Gaumont film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Axe for Turkeys (film #1 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Hollywood]
Silent newsreel clip from the early 30s featuring a whole bunch of turkeys running to be fed, then running away from a guy sharpening an axe. Animal distress seemed to be a main source of humor during the 30s. I’m glad we’ve made a little progress with this since then. The images of the turkeys are fairly striking, though.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Boers Bringing in British Prisoners (film #31 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]
A bunch of soldiers on horseback escort a bunch of weary-looking soldiers on foot, presumably the prisoners. A slice of the Boer War, though not a particularly interesting one. Still, we don’t have much of a filmed record of this war, so that gives it some historical interest. A 1900 Edison film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Assignment Outer Space Trailer (extra on Assignment Outer Space DVD (Alpha Video, 2003)). [Category: Commercial]
Fairly campy and hyperbolic trailer for Assignment Outer Space, an early 60s film about space travel. This is actually pretty typical of trailers for films of this type, though the cheesy special effects are fun.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Dick Whittington’s Cat (film #527 on Open Source Movies). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
This sign-language interpreted cartoon has extensive interpretation that explains the whole story, despite the fact that the story is mainly told visually, with little dialogue. If your deaf kid needs extensive help to follow a narrative, then I guess this is the cartoon for you. I would suspect that at least some deaf kids wouldn’t need this much help, though. The interpretation is straightforward and tells the story fairly accurately, though.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Combat Bulletin No. 21 (film #2 on tape #2 of This Film Is Restricted Boxed Set (Marathon Music & Video, 1997)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
This one mostly documents mopping-up efforts behind the retreating enemy. Lots of bridge-building, cleaning up after enemy explosions of buildings and materiel, meeting happy civilians, and final skirmishes with the last vestiges of the retreating enemy. The segments are entitled "Mediterranean Progress in Southern France", "Activities in Italy", "Bridge Over Salween River", "Pacific: Cleanup at Aitape", "E.T.O.: Northern France and Belgium" and "American 3rd Army", but they're all pretty much the same deal in different locations.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****, Overall Rating: **.
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Better Reading
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