Felix Gets the Can (film #7 on Felix the Cat DVD (Delta Entertainment, 2004)). [Category: Hollywood]
Felix goes to Alaska to get fish for dinner and ends up getting canned. This one is pretty ordinary, though it does have some farfetched logical twists and turns, such as Felix getting beaned by a can of salmon and deciding to go to Alaska, instead of just eating the contents of the can. Mostly, though, this is nothing special.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Consumers Want to Know (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #372 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
This early 60s film gives a detailed and complete profile of Consumers Union, the non-profit organization that publishes Consumer Reports. The profile is very straightforward, reflecting the dedication to facts of the organization, an organization that does very good work. Unfortunately, this means it gets rather dull after awhile, because it goes into such detail. Still, the scenes of the various laboratory tests are pretty interesting––I want the cigarette smoking machine for the Film Ephemera Museum of Quirky Devices (Smoking Section).Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. CU Rating: Recommended with Reservations. Overall Rating: ***.
Les Boites a Go Go (film #3 in the Film section of Bedazzled. Also, film #3 in the Juke Box Movies section of Bedazzled. Also, film #3 in the Music section of Bedazzled. Also, film #3 in the Music Video section of Bedazzled. Also, film #3 in the Scopitones section of Bedazzled. Also, film #3 in the Video section of Bedazzled). [Category: Hollywood]
French Scopitone in which a young woman in an op-art minidress dances the twist at a discotheque while singing the title song. Psychedelic camera tricks occasionally intervene. This is very representative of the mid-60s in style, making it a fun nostalgia piece.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Carnivorous Plants (film #12 on AV Geeks. Also, film #2 on The Educational Archives, Vol. 6: Religion DVD (Fantoma, 2003)). [Category: Educational]
A creepy guy gleefully tells us all about how various carnivorous plants trap and digest innocent insects. Then he tries to sneak in stuff about how only God could have made such things, not any sort of evolutionary process. It comes off as saying only God could be that sadistic. I think God would be insulted by such a notion.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Bucking Broncho (film #36 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]
A cowboy rides a bucking bronk until he gets bucked off. And when I say “cowboy,” I mean the real deal, folks––this was made in 1894. The guy on the fence better watch out with that pistol, though. An 1894 Edison film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Atlas Trailer (extra on Goliath and the Dragon DVD (Something Weird, 2001)). [Category: Commercial]
Mildly fun trailer for what looks to be a fairly campy sword-and-sandal flick, including lots of the standard sword-and-sandal elements, such as an evil ruler, a muscleman hero, the muscleman hero battling multiple enemies, and exotic dancing. Fun if you like this sort of thing.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Dingbat Land (film #412 on Open Source Movies). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
This sign-language interpreted version of a Terrytoon is rather puzzling, as the vast majority of the gags are visual, so the need for interpretation is questionable. In fact, the interpreter is reduced at points to providing editorial commentary, such as, “Oh! That dingbat is so bad!” Also, there are no real dingbats in it; just a lame Tweety Bird ripoff. Dingbats are like this: **** (dingbats are replaced by asterisks).Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
The Cook in Trouble (film #10 on More Melies (A-1 Video). Also, film #2 on The Movies Begin, Volume Four: The Magic of Melies (Kino Video, 1994). Also, film #11 on The Origins of Cinema, Volume 6: Rare Films (Video Yesteryear, 1997)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Trouble is right. A cook fails to help out a beggar, who turns out to be a magician in disguise. He retaliates by cursing the kitchen, infesting it with scads of imps who proceed to wreak havoc. And you thought those few mice in your kitchen were causing you problems! Lively fun, as usual for Melies. A 1904 Melies film. The version on The Movies Begin is the best of the bunch.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ****.
Know for Sure (film #35 on AV Geeks. Also, film #4 on The Educational Archives, Vol. 1: Sex & Drugs DVD (Fantoma, 2001)). [Category: Public Service]
This 40s anti-syphilis film features several case studies of various people visiting a public health clinic to be tested for syphilis. The first case, featuring an outrageously-stereotyped Italian immigrant couple whose baby is born dead because of the disease, is fairly maudlin. Other than that, the film is surprisingly straightforward and unsensationalistic in its message. It’s an interesting example of how the subject was dealt with back in the 40s, though it does contain way too many close-ups of blood being drawn for my comfort level.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Adventures on a Talk Show (film #22 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
I guess one of the advantages of being a Lego guy is you can get away with really bad jokes. This brickfilm is full of ‘em, but because it’s a brickfilm, they come off as pretty funny, rather than the real groaners that they are. And the film somehow gets away with substituting arm-waving for the fact that you can’t make Lego guys’ mouths move (‘cause their just painted on). In fact, this Lego version of a talk show gets away with a whole bunch of stuff, and for that, I kind of admire it. It even includes a fake commercial, which ends with the worst joke of all, yet it made me laugh out loud.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Chairman Rodino (film #2 in the Watergate section of WPA Film Library). [Category: News]
Brief clip of Chairman Rodino advising the House of Representatives on the procedure and implications of a vote on impeachment of Richard Nixon. This is pretty important historically, though brief.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Allies Fight Fierce Nazi Counter-Blow (film #52 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
This WWII newsreel has some interesting captured German footage of places of amusement being closed down and Nazi women being drafted for war work. Following that is footage of Allied troops battling a German counteroffensive. Also included are stories about a rocket-firing plane, an appeal for recruits for the merchant marine, and a cute segment where children of diplomats wish us a Merry Christmas. This is one of the more interesting and lively of the WWII newsreels, giving you a real feel for the war years.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Combat Bulletin No. 35 (film #2 on tape #6 of This Film Is Restricted (Marathon Music & Video, 1997)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
In "Japs Raid Saipan B-29 Base," we see lots of stuff on the base burning. In "GIs Get Whole Blood from Home," new methods of packaging, refrigeration and shipment allow supplies of whole blood to last a lot longer than before, saving many lives. In "Black Widow and Jato," we get to see footage, previously classified as secret, of an experiemental bomber called the Black Widow, and of a handy-dandy portable jet propulsion system that can be attached to ordinary prop planes to make them take off faster. In "Activities in Burma," supplies are shipped into Burma by practically every means available. In "Activities in China," we see American troops slowly advancing in China. And in “Activities in the European Theatre of Operations," we see more of the Allied advance in Germany. This is a very ordinary Combat Bulletin, though the Jatos are kind of cool.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: **.
Construction Crews (film #2 in the 1950s: Blast from the Past section of WPA Film Library). [Category: Industrial]
Silent color film footage of identical houses being built in the suburbs during the 50s. Nothing really surprising here, though this might be good footage for a documentary about the post-war housing boom.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Classic Entertainers (film #10 in the Exclusive Celebrity Footage section of WPA Film Library). [Category: Hollywood]
Silent concert footage from the 60s of Judy Garland, Sammy Davis, Jr., and Bobby Darin. Considering that these were musical entertainers, and they’re shown performing, it’s really baffling that this footage is silent––you’re losing more than 50% of the experience if you can’t hear the performance. This might have some value for documentary filmmakers looking for visual footage, but to the average viewer, there’s something horribly missing.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *** (loses a star for being silent). Overall Rating: **.
Felix Finds Out (film #4 on Felix the Cat DVD (Delta Entertainment, 2004). [Category: Hollywood]
Felix finds a nickel and gives it to his friend Willie, who buys a hot dog with it. Unfortunately, the hot dog turns out to be one of those singing and dancing ones from the snack bar promo and promptly runs away. Fortunately, Felix is able to use his feline wiles to trick the hot dog, as well as all his buddies at the stand. Unfortunately, this makes Willie late for school, and as a result he is saddled with the homework question, “What makes the moon shine?” Felix resolves to find the answer for him, but after the Man in the Moon proves unhelpful, he discovers a moonshine stand, gets drunk, and starts hallucinating. Hey, I just review ‘em, I don’t promise they make sense.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: *****.
Brook Trout Fishing (film #18 on America at Work, America at Leisure. Also in the Historical section of Open Video Project). [Category: Early Film & TV]
A guy fishes for trout in a stream. This is so utterly fascinating that another guy comes out of the background to watch him. This gripping plot would later be stolen by many directors of home movies. A 1902 Biograph film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
At Midnight, I’ll Take Your Soul Trailer (film #15 in the Trailers section of Movieflix). [Category: Commercial]
Trailer for a Brazilian horror flick from 1964. For 1964, this looks pretty darn scary and disturbing, meaning the trailer did its job well.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Dallas School Integration (film #4 in the Brown v. Board of Education section of WPA Film Library). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
Silent news footage of Dallas schools being racially integrated during the early 60s. It happens peacefully, but there is anxiety just under the surface in the police presence and in the faces of some of the children and parents. An important historical document of the civil rights movement.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Kitchen Safety: Fat Pans (film #55 in the Public Info. Films section of TVArk). [Category: Public Service]
Short British PSA from the 70s warning of the dangers of overfilling pans with oil for deep-fat frying (i.e. it starts a fire). This makes its point very well in its short duration.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
About the Door (film #22 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
This is yet another version of the basic concept in About a Door––that is, a door with a sign “Do Not Open This Door,” and how the curious Lego guys deal with it. This one basically has one joke, which will make you jump a little bit, but really isn’t all that surprising if you think about it. Not bad, but could be more creative with the idea.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Cataclysm: Volcano, Tidal Waves Devastate Pacific Area (film #120 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: News]
In this 1960 newsreel, we see the devastation of an earthquake in Chile and of related tidal waves that hit many Pacific islands, including Hawaii. The narrator asserts that the year was one of the worst ever for natural disasters. Hey! Wait a minute! I was born in 1960!…Never mind. Also included is a story on the launching of a spy satellite.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: * (more if you were born in 1960). Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Care of the Skin (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #273 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]
No Skin Fairy in this one, I’m afraid. Just three kids––Fred, Billy, and Virginia––who are way more interested in washing than any real kid. We get to see such stirring things as Virginia with soap all over her face, Billy licking himself like a cat and saying “Why?” all the time, some disgusting images of skin diseases, and lots of close-ups of Fred taking his bath. Not a particularly pleasant viewing experience, I can tell you. This one needs an Evil Sprite Character to liven it up.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Allies Drive Across Rhine to Victory (film #51 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
WWII newsreel clip documenting the Allied takeover of Cologne, Germany. This has some very gritty and exciting footage of street fighting. Also included are stories about the American delegation to the UN, and a clothing drive headed by Henry Kaiser. Kaiser is no speaker, I can tell you, and that makes that segment fairly campy. This is one of the more interesting and well-preserved WWII-era newsreels.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *** (mostly for the clothing drive segment). Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Company Response (film #1386 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
This 30s training film for firefighters goes over the basic things the head of a company needs to go over before going to a fire, in order to ensure that things go smoothly and efficiently. It gives a fascinating look at the firefighting practices of its time. And there is something appealingly dorky about the narrator that I can’t quite put my finger on, giving the film some camp value. If you’re a fan of firefighters or firefighting equipment, this is your film. Even if you’re not, the narrator makes it fun.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Christmas Brings Joy to Everyone (film #124 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Hollywood]
Holiday newsreel from 1945 showing Christmas tree harvesting, kids admiring toys, and Santa talking to kids. This should bring back memories for early baby boomers. Also included in the newsreels are stories about General Eisenhower taking over as army chief of staff, a Japanese-American family accepting a medal for a fallen war hero, Archbishop Spellman kicking off a canned-food drive for Europe’s starving children, and newly-designed fighter planes being displayed and raced by the air force. A real blast from the past for the post-war period.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Broadway & Union Square, New York (film #6 on The Life of a City). [Category: Early Film & TV]
At Broadway and Union Square, we see pedestrians and a couple of streetcars. This has some historical value, but not much else. A 1903 Biograph film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
The Astounding She-Monster Trailer (extra on Death Ray Mirror of Dr. Mabuse DVD (Sinister Cienma)). [Category: Commercial]
Campy trailer for one of the worst films of all time, The Astounding She-Monster. The trailer is a little bit more competent than the actual film, which is not saying much. Bad movie fans should enjoy this.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Chicago Area Videomakers Coalition (film #12 on Media Burn Archive). [Category: Sleaze and Outsider]
This is a clip from sample tape made during the 70s showing the work of a group of Chicago-area independent filmmakers. One segment shows an interview with some panhandlers in San Francisco, and the second segment is from a film made by two 8-year-old African-American girls about the older sister of one of them. Both look like fascinating outsider films––I wish the whole films were available.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Key Trains on Bay Bridge (film #41 on Shaping San Francisco). [Category: Public Service]
Clip from a documentary about the San Francisco commuter trains of the Key System, showing a number of different trains from different time periods, and lamenting the loss of this cheap, efficient form of mass transit. The scene of the train going through its own special portion of the Bay Bridge is pretty cool. This is historically valuable footage––too bad they didn’t post the complete documentary.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
About Rapunzel (film #21 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
This short brickfilm shows us why you should never send a conformist to do the job of a fairytale hero, as well as making reference to a number of other brickfilms. For a very short film with very little action or movement, this is pretty clever.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Conquest of the Pole ["A la Conquete du Pole"] (film #1 on Ballerinas in Hell (Unknown Video). Also, film #6 on Marvelous Melies (A-1 Video). Also, film #16 on Pioneers of the French Cinema (Hollywood's Attic, 1996)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
A bunch of silly people take a weird flying contraption to the North Pole, which looks curiously like the surface of the moon in A Trip to the Moon. There they encounter a huge, grinning, bug-eyed Jack Frost head (store this image away for a later nightmare, kids!). After they torment it with snowballs (really!), it commences to eat them one by one. Fortunately, a quick-thinking explorer shoots a cannon at it, which causes it to spit up his comrades. All ends happily and boastfully at the Explorer's Club. A quite fun Melies romp with lots of unforgetable images. The version on Pioneers of the French Cinema is more complete than the one on Ballerinas in Hell. A 1912 Melies film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ****.
Blood Moon (film #3 on Open Source Movies). [Category: News]
Silent footage of the October 27, 2004 lunar eclipse, taken from San Francisco. After footage of the moon just looking dark, some camera trickery makes it look kind of blood-red and psychedelic. I guess you had to be there. If not, I’m glad I missed it.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Allies Close on Rome (film #50 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Newsreel story about the Allied drive towards Rome after the capture of Monte Casino during the late days of World War II. This is pretty standard, with some historical interest in the showing of a couple of German secret weapons. Mostly this is just scenes of devastation in the aftermath of battle, though.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: **.
Company Profile (film #364 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
This 50s film is a straightforward profile of the Hoover Company, of vacuum cleaner fame. Fun moments include early film footage of the company’s earliest vacuum cleaners, factory-tour footage from plants in England, and some bizarre-looking quality-control devices. And it contains a bit of essential trivia for rock fans––the Paravale Plant looks to be the Hoover Factory that Elvis Costello sings about. And it has a real cool Jam Handy focus leader. The film as a whole is pretty standard, but it has lots of great little extras. Too bad it’s incomplete.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***** (gets an extra star for the Hoover Factory). Overall Rating: ****.
Cavalcade of Archery (film #8 on Disc 2 of The Adventures of Robin Hood DVD (Warner Bros., 2003)). [Category: Hollywood]
This theatrical short from the 40s feature archer Harold Hill doing a bunch of trick shots, including shooting an arrow into the neck of a gourd, shooting into a neck of a bottle, and shooting and apple and a prune off the head of a William Tell impersonator. This is all done in beautiful Technicolor, with a couple of pretty assistants who get awfully close to the targets at times. This is mildly amusing, though it does have great title cards.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Combat Bulletin No. 34 (film #1 on tape #6 of This Film Is Restricted Boxed Set (Marathon Music & Video, 1997)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
In "Activities in European Theatre of Operations," Allied forces advance on Germany, building bridges and slogging through mud along the way. In "Port of Antwerp," supplies are unloaded from ships at the aforementioned port. In "Fighter Kills," we see aerial footage of bombing and strafing. In "Malaria Control on Corsica," GIs battle mosquitos in various ways, including spraying oil on standing water, covering their skin with a greasy concoction, and covering their beds with mosquito netting. This is a really interesting segment which shows humorous posters featuring saucy cartoon pin-up girls demonstrating proper malaria-control procedures (I wish I had these in my collection). In "B-29 Crash in China,” we see a wrecked B-29. "Jap Phosphorous Bombs" gives us a close-up view of the aforementioned anti-aircraft bombs. And in "Capture Bhamo, Burma Road Link,” we see American troops preparing to capture the Burmese village of Bhamo, which was then surrounded by Chinese troops. The malaria section is definitely the highlight of this otherwise very ordinary Combat Bulletin.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
The Adventures of Superman (film #2 in the Who Killed TV’s Superman? section of TVParty). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Incredibly sexist and patronizing scene from “The Adventures of Superman,” featuring Lois Lane subbing for the advice columnist and asking Superman for help. Everybody treats her like a bratty child, including Superman himself. It ends with a couple of her co-workers speculating on why a pretty girl like her isn’t married. At least TV workplaces would eventually get somewhat better than this.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Alone Against Rome Trailer (extra on Hercules Against the Moon Men/The Witch’s Curse DVD (Something Weird, 2002)). [Category: Commercial]
Standard, rather turgid trailer for what looks to be a standard, fairly turgid sword-and-sandal movie. No real surprises here.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Felix Doubles for Darwin (film #2 on Felix the Cat DVD (Delta Entertainment, 2004)). [Category: Hollywood]
This one has a plot that’s farfetched even for a Felix cartoon. Felix agrees to go to Africa to find out if man evolved from monkeys, so he can split the reward money with a guy who tells him about a contest that pays money to whoever can find proof of evolution. So Felix sends himself by transatlantic cable to Africa (in a very clever sequence), where he discovers a “family tree” full of monkeys. The monkeys are offended by the idea that humans are their relatives and so they chase Felix back across the cable. This is an incredibly silly Felix, as you may deduce from this plot description, and that makes it fun, of course.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Check and Double Check (film #2 on Side B of Disc #2 of Classic Musicals DVD Megapack (Mill Creek Entertainment, 2005)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
Far from being an all-black cast film, this screen adaptation of the radio show “Amos ‘n’ Andy” could almost be called an all-white cast film, since the characters of Amos and Andy are played by the white men who did their voices on the radio. They’re in blackface and it’s just as racist as it sounds, with all white characters rich and well-mannered, while all African-Americans are dull-witted and stupid in supposedly comic ways. Furthermore, the film has a very dull plot and a pace so plodding that during the scene in the haunted house, you start to wish for some bug-eyed stereotyped hi-jinx from the main characters just to liven things up a bit (but your wish won’t be granted). I doubt even fans of the radio show liked this. Although the show was somewhat better, the film really shows how appallingly racist its concept was, and it’s painful to think that not so long ago, it was the most popular radio show in the country. This film makes a good juxtaposition to the all-black cast films, revealing the kinds of stereotypes black actors and directors had to fight against. This gives it historical value, but it’s a tedious watch. The only good thing about it is the obligatory musical number by real African-Americans, Duke Ellington and his Cotton Club orchestra.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Carl Laemmle Arrives Home (film #116 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Public Service]
Self-congratulatory newsreels from the 30s featuring Universal Studios chief Carl Laemmle, home from a European tour, claiming that all the bigwigs in Europe are hep to the NRA. I didn’t know Hitler was so keen on it, but I guess you learn something new every day.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: **.
About a Wall (film #20 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
A guy wakes up to find a pathetic voice telling him he’s stuck inside the wall of the guy’s bedroom. The moral ends up telling all would-be Bart Simpsons that pranks have consequences. Mildly amusing.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Buster Crabbe at the Xth Olympiad (extra on Disc #1 of Flash Gordon Conquers the Universe DVD (VCI Home Video)). [Category: News]
Newsreel footage of Buster Crabbe winning the men’s 100-meter freestyle swimming event, including a brief interview at the end, where he talks about how happy he was to have won. This provides some historical background to the actor who played Flash Gordon, as well as letting us see what a hunk he was in his Olympic days.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Allied Vise Tightens on Rhineland (film #49 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Newsreel from late World War II with stories documenting the Allied push towards Germany, aircraft carrier attacks on Manila, a general addressing a bunch of manufacturing bigwigs and giving an appeal for more Production for Victory, the need for more nurses’ aides to take over medical jobs on the homefront, and the opening of college basketball season. This is a historically-interesting slice of life from the late war years. Too bad it wasn’t better preserved.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Care of the Hair and Nails (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #272 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]
The Hair-and-Nails Fairy appears and tells us how she “helps” children by getting them to be compulsive about hair and nail care through the magic of film reversal. I thought initially we were getting into Evil territory, but she’s really only an Evil-Wanna-Be. She even admits that she often “helps” her victims by remaining invisible, revealing a severe lack of the shamelessness that is so fundamental to these characters. You wouldn’t catch Mr. B Natural or Soapy operating under a cloak of invisibility! And her only magical powers seem to be having a magic wand that makes guitar feedback sounds (which I’ll admit is a tiny bit evil) and the ability to reverse the film to make children do her bidding. But she lacks the fundamental mind-control powers of a Coily or a Chalky. She does show potential in her ability to get the first kid to wash his hands compulsively and to get the kid with ringworm to grin like a mindless idiot. But she needs more training and practice before she can join the ranks of the Bucky Beaver Society of Evil Sprite Characters. Nice try, but no cigar.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Community Growth: Crisis and Challenge (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #362 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
This 50s film, made by the National Association of Home Builders, decries suburban sprawl, proposing that it be replaced by planned suburban sprawl. Actually, that’s being a little bit mean, as the film is quite even-handed and balanced in making its points, even to the point of saying that much more research needs to be done before we can really say what the definite solutions will be. Their advice must have been taken to heart, as many of their proposed ideas, such as cluster-built housing developments (you know, the kind where the streets are all curvy and there are lots of circles and you can’t find your way back into the main traffic grid to save your life), cul-de-sacs, and townhouses were adopted all over the place. There’s lots of historical interest in this film, as it gives you a good idea of the city planning problems created by the suburban housing boom during the 50s. And it has lots of fun graphics, such as the guy pointing to a screen containing a big question mark, a meeting where one of the guys I swear is falling asleep, or a planner looking over a big subdivision map and looking really stressed out. Lots of stills for future art projects, I say.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Come Along Do! (film #15 on The Movies Begin, Volume Two: The European Pioneers (Kino Video, 1994)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
A colorful elderly couple enjoy their lunch sitting on a bench, then leave. I'm not sure what the point of this one was supposed to be. The title is great, though. An 1898 R. W. Paul film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: **.
Casper the Friendly Ghost in There’s Good Boos Tonight (film #12 on Film Chest Vintage Cartoons). [Category: Hollywood]
Casper cartoons are usually sickly sweet, but this one is unexpectedly dark and tragic. Casper makes friends with a little fox and they have lots of fun times together until the fox hunters show up. Casper manages to scare them away, but not in time to save the fox, who dies of a gunshot wound. Casper grieves pitifully until he realizes that, being a ghost, his friends don’t necessarily have to be alive, which gives you an idea of how the cartoon ends. I suppose this is supposed to be a happy ending, but it makes death look way too attractive. I wouldn’t show this to any kids who have a problem with depression, that’s for sure. Even kids who are reasonably happy would probably find this toon upsetting enough to make them cry. Have fun, kids!Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **** (though in a way that makes you cry rather than laugh). Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ****.
Combat Bulletin No. 33 (film #3 on tape #5 of This Film Is Restricted Boxed Set (Marathon Music & Video, 1997)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Yankee ingenuity is a running theme in this Combat Bulletin. In "School for Jungle Life," GIs learn how to survive on a tropical island, from finding food to building shelter, and it's nothing like "Gilligan's Island." In "Activities in the European Theatre of Operations", the Allies advance through western Germany, eventually taking Strausbourg. In "Island Icebox," resourceful GIs make a refrigerator out of parts scavenged from crashed airplanes. In "Acitvities in the Phillipines," we see gritty footage of jungle fighting, including an American reporter getting fatally shot. In "Strikes in Ormac and Manilla Bay," we see aerial footage of naval battles near the Phillipines. I like how ingenious the GIs are shown to be in this Combat Bulletin.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Breaking of the Crowd at Military Review at Longchamps (film #35 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]
OK, folks, show’s over! Time to go home now. A turn-of-the-century crowd slowly wanders through a sea of chairs and disperses, though one lady gets up on top of one of the chairs to look around. And are those Arabs I see, or just guys with their handkerchiefs under their hats? This does have a bit of historical value as a slice of turn-of-the-century life, though why Edison wanted to film the crowd after the show was over is anyone’s guess. A 1900 Edison film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
ABC-TV Sunday Morning Promo (film #16 on ToonTracker Cartoon Showcase). [Category: Commercial]
This is pretty similar to the Saturday morning promo, except it features the Sunday morning shows “Beany and Cecil” and that stalwart of Sunday mornings, “Bullwinkle”. If you were a kid during the 60s, this will probably bring back some Sunday morning memories, that is, if you ever got out of going to church.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Caged Virgins Trailer (extra on Dracula the Dirty Old Man/Guess What Happened to Count Dracula DVD (Something Weird, 2002)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
Trailer for a sexploitation horror movie that looks like it might be a little bit better than most in its genre. Granted, there’s lots of sleazy elements, but it also feels genuinely creepy in the way that a successful horror film should. This either means the film is better than you’d expect, or they got somebody really talented to make the trailer.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
How to Brake (film #50 in the Public Info. Films section of TVArk). [Category: Public Service]
Straightforward British PSA warning drivers against sudden braking. They could have had a lot more fun with this, I think.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
The Adventures of Spiderman: Arms of Love (film #230 in the Action section of Brickfilms. Also, film #322 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms. Also, film #105 in the Sci-Fi section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
If you’re expecting the plot of Spiderman II here, well, the film takes a few, ah, liberties. It does have some great acting, though (never thought I’d say that about a brickfilm) and the fight scene is pretty impressive. It even has a happy, though twist, ending! Not bad for a film constructed out of Legos.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ****.
Cameras Gone Wild (film #5 on News Bloopers DVD (Time-Life Video, 1999)). [Category: News]
This section of News Bloopers features flubs caused by the people running the cameras. This would work better without the silly sound effects and laugh track, though some of the saves made by the anchor people are pretty good. Mildly amusing, though not as funny as they think.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Allied Victory Parade (film #48 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Newsreel clip from the post-war period showing a parade in London celebrating the Allied victory in Europe, followed by the story of the recovery of stolen German crown jewels that were taken by an American soldier. This has mild historical interest as a slice of life from the days immediately following World War II.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Command Performance (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #357 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
This 1942 film, made by RCA Victor, shows us how 78 rpm records were made. It’s actually a pretty fascinating process, involving cutting an original wax disc, electroplating it into a metal master disc, making a stronger mother disc from the master, and making stamping discs from those. Mixing the shellac, stamping the records, and packing and shipping is also covered. This is one of the more interesting factory tour films out there, and since it covers an outdated technology, it has quite a bit of historical value as well.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Felix All Puzzled (film #5 on Felix the Cat DVD (Delta Entertainment, 2004)). [Category: Hollywood]
Felix goes all the way to Russia to help his master solve a crossword puzzle. There he discovers the Bolshevik’s plan for revolution, which ultimately helps him solve the puzzle and get his milk. This Felix toon doesn’t have him pulling things out of thin air, but it’s weird enough conceptually.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Brideless Groom (film #46 on Feature Films). [Category: Hollywood]
Shemp Howard stands to inherit $500,00 if he can get married in a few hours, according to the terms of one of those wills that only appears in the movies. Comic hi-jinx ensue involving him and Moe getting tangled up in a telephone cord, getting poked in the eye by a shaving brush, getting tangled up in piano strings, getting beaten up by a pretty neighbor he proposes to, and a huge battle of prospective brides. He finally ends up marrying the terrible singer from the beginning of the film, but it looks like $500,000 will be small consolation for him. This short has some funny moments, such as Moe and Larry getting caught in a clinch, and the final battle of brides is pretty bizarre, but mostly this is standard Stooges fare.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
The Boys Think They Have One on Foxy Grandpa, but He Fools Them (film #3 in the Comedy Sketches section of American Variety Stage. Also, in the Historical section of Open Video Project). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Psst! Hey, let’s give a banjo to Grandpa! Won’t that be a hoot? Oh no! Turns out he really can play! He’s making us dance!! Akk!! Oh no! Now he’s dancing himself!!! The horror! The horror! A 1902 Biograph film. P.S. That’ll teach ‘em to mess with Foxy Grandpa!Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
ABC-TV Saturday Morning Promo (film #17 on ToonTracker Cartoon Showcase). [Category: Commercial]
Primitively-animated early-60s promo for ABC’s Saturday morning cartoons, most of which seemed to consist of collections of old theatrical cartoons. You can see how much more sophisticated the animation was in the theatrical cartoons than the animation of the promo itself in the clips that they show. Still, the animation is in a cute style, making this mildly interesting to watch.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: SS. Weirdness: ¬¬. Historical Interest: ““““. Overall Rating: $$$.
Capitalism (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #271 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]
In this Coronet film, a group of high school students do a radio panel discussion show on the topic “What Is Capitalism?” But first they do a lot of arguing amongst themselves about what the most important elements in capitalism are––an argument that could only take place in a Coronet film. Campiest is the example of private property given in the form of the grocer from whom they buy supplies for the class weenie roast. “We needed weenies. Mr. Brown had weenies, etc.” This is more Dick-and-Jane than Round and Round. Of course, the idea that American capitalism is the best economic system in the world is not questioned for a second, nor are any drawbacks to capitalism mentioned, though many benefits are. This is pretty much what you’d expect from a Coronet film tackling these issues, which means it’s pretty campy.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
The Blood of Jesus (film #506 on Feature Films). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
This religious all-black cast film from the 40s tells the story of Martha Ann Jackson, a young married woman with a no-good husband. Soon after she gets saved and baptized, she is fatally injured in an accident with her husband’s hunting rifle. Her soul is taken away by an angel, but at the last minute, God decides it’s not her time yet and lets her go back to the land of the living. There the devil sends his envoy, Judas Green, to lure her to the big city with fancy clothes. There, she goes nightclubbing and a friend of Judas’ offers her a “job,” but once she finds out what the “job” involves, she runs off to return to the straight and narrow path. Unfortunately, she is mistaken for another female “employee” who’s a pickpocket, resulting in many of the nightclub’s patrons taking off after her. At the point between Zion and Hell, she is confronted by the devil, but fortunately, having been saved, she has Jesus on her side, who not only repels the devil, but the angry nightclub patrons as well. Like most all-black cast films I’ve seen, this film is a confusing mix of authenticity and stereotypes. Ultimately, though, the sincerity of it won me over, enough to even make up for some of the aspects that bothered me, such as holding up the rural life as an ideal despite the fact that for most African-Americans at the time it was a life of grinding poverty. It’s obvious that a lot of care went into this, and that the occasional amateurish moments are more artifacts of an extremely low budget than of incompetence or lack of vision. And the music is great, both the gospel music of Zion and the jazz and blues of Hell.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Cockfight (film #6 on The Movies Begin, Volume One: The Great Train Robbery and Other Primary Works (Kino Video, 1994). Also, film #6 on The Art of Cinema Begins (Video Yesteryear, 1997)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
This is one of the more visually striking of the early films. There's something mesmerizing about the slowed-down movements of the fighting roosters. The guys in the background are kind of creepy, though. An 1896 Edison film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Elderly Pedestrians (film #22 in the Public Info. Films section of TVArk). [Category: Public Service]
Somewhat overdramatic British PSA warning drivers to be extra careful about not hitting elderly pedestrians. It ends up being effective, though, as it attempts to explain the difficulty such people have with crossing the street, and you end up empathizing with its main character.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
The Adventures of Diavo & Joe – Episode VII (film #229 in the Action section of Brickfilms. Also, film #322 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms. Also, film #69 in the Action section of Brickfilms. Also, film #105 in the Sci-Fi section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
Two geeky Lego guys discover a portal that leads into the Star Wars universe, or the Lego version of the Star Wars universe, anyway. There they have some confusing adventures while exchanging witty bon mots. The animation is somewhat blocky, but some of the special effects are nice. But I have to admit I had a hard time following this.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
California (film #112 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: News]
Light-hearted newsreel clip from the 50s honoring the 20th anniversary of the first transpacific flight of the China Clipper. This is followed by a breezy story about summer fashions and a cute story about a children’s zoo. Must have been a slow news day. This does have a real 50s feel to it, being a slice of the optimism of that time.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Allied Convoy Battles Axis (film #47 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
British newsreel footage about a Allied ships battling Axis planes. Lots of big guns and explosions in this. Also, another story about British royalty touring Scotland, inspecting a fire brigade and a daycare center. A British slice of life from World War II.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Color It Clean (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #348 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
This film, made by the University of Illinois at Urbana, is a tribute to the janitors who clean up the bathrooms every evening. The film shows one janitor carefully and meticulously cleaning every surface of the men’s room he’s assigned to, while several janitors speak on the soundtrack about the challenges of the job and how they try to do the best job they can. This is done so sincerely and realistically that only the most callous among us could find anything funny about it. Hey, it’s not a job I’d care to do, so my respect for janitors has gone up several notches, meaning this film is quite successful in its purpose. This is a quite unusual film that gives you a real sense of what a particular job in a particular place and time was like, giving it a great deal of historical value as well.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Combat Bulletin No. 32 (film #2 on tape #5 of This Film Is Restricted (Marathon Music & Video, 1997)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
In "Activities in the European Theatre of Operations," we get a rundown on the deactivation of various landmines. This footage is quite interesting, though a little hard to watch when you think about how these are real live mines they're handling. In "Vosges Mountain Front," Nazi soldiers are flushed out of various villages. In "Snapshooting Course for Jungle Fighters," we see soldiers learning to shoot at anything that moves in the jungle. In "Italian Front,” we see more slogging through the mud. And "Fighting in Warsaw Suburbs" features quite violent scenes of street fighting. A fairly standard Combat Bulletin with some interesting moments.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Billion Dollar Limited (film #31 on Feature Films). [Category: Hollywood]
In this Fleischer Superman cartoon, Superman must save a runaway train full of gold bullion from some bad guys who are doing their level best to rob it. Lois Lane is in the thick of things, as usual, but this time she gets to take some pot shots at the bad guys with a machine gun, as well as trying to stop the train by pulling the emergency brake. Superman eventually saves the day by manually pulling the cars full of gold to the mint––I guess if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. As usual, the graphic design is beautiful. I’m not a superhero fan, but I must say these Fleischer Supermans are impressive.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Fashion Horizons (film #506 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Hollywood]
Several Hollywood starlets take a bright and breezy vacation in the southwest, while a bright and breezy narrator breezily describes their trip to us, describing every outfit each woman wears in great detail and occasionally throwing in a plug for TWA. Somebody should have shot the writer, though, because there's a fine line between breezy and stupid, and the film's narration repeatedly crosses that line, especially when dealing with native Americans ("One little, two little, three little Indian girls!" exclaims the narrator over a shot of three grown native American women), ancient historical relics ("Her adobe coat blends in with the adobe walls of this ancient structure"), or scenic wonders ("Doggone it! What adjectives are there to describe this magnificent view of the Grand Canyon?"). The visuals provide some historical value, as they provide rare color scenes of 1941, but if you're going to use this for archival footage, cut out the narration and the cheesy music soundtrack, OK?Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Boys Diving, Honolulu (film #17 on America at Work, America at Leisure. Also in the Historical section of Open Video Project). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Some boys dive into the ocean from a wooden spit that sticks out over the water, in a thoroughly unsafe but probably very fun way that would never be allowed today. Hey, you kids get down from there! You’ll break your necks! A 1902 Biograph film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
ABC Afterschool Special Promo (film #84 on ToonTracker Cartoon Showcase). [Category: Commercial]
Artistically-animated end-of-season promo for "ABC Afterschool Specials" during the 70s. This is pleasant to look at, but pretty much what you’d expect.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Anti-War Demonstrators Storm Pentagon (film #61 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
Newsreel story documenting a huge protest and sit-in in Washington DC against the Vietnam War. The smarmy comment by the narrator at the end of the segment that the demonstration proved “everyone a loser” shows the mainstream attitudes towards the anti-war movement at that time. An important document of the 60s protest movement. Tacked on the end is a dull story about a German airplane.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Driving in Fog (film #19 in the Public Info. Films section of TVArk). [Category: Public Service]
Clever and well-made British PSA warning drivers of the dangers of driving in fog by likening it to a child’s game of Blind Man’s Bluff. Effective.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
The Adventures of Batman (film #70 on ToonTracker Cartoon Showcase). [Category: Ouutakes & Obscurities]
Opening to the 60s Saturday morning cartoon version of “Batman.” Pretty cheesy, though there are some amusing lines, such as “Bane of Gotham’s kooky criminals!”Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Baby Boom (film #4 in the 1950s: Blast from the Past section of WPA Film Library). [Category: News]
Breezy newsreel clip about the high 50s birthrate, featuring a cool display that automatically kept track of the US population––definitely an item for the Film Ephemera Museum of Quirky Devices. Beyond that, this contains the typical footage of crying newborns.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
All Nations Shaken by War Crisis (film #46 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Jumbled, fragmented newsreel clip from the early days of World War II. Included are scenes of FDR and other government bigwigs meeting to discuss the crisis, French bigwigs meeting in France to discuss the crisis, Neville Chamberlain smiling while British royalty attend displays of Scottish games and dancing and the commonfolk prepare for war, masses of soldiers goosestepping in Germany, Mussolini rousing the Italian masses, Russia displaying military might, and German troops rolling through the streets of Czechoslovakia. The soundtrack is only in tiny, sparse fragments, with the rest lost, I guess. This makes the footage pretty confusing, but the period being documented is so historic that it has value anyway.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Can Animals Think? (film #3 on Those Naughty Animals DVD (A/V Geeks)). [Category: Educational]
Various simple animal behavior experiments are performed while a rather silly narrator gives his views of what these animals may be thinking. This appears to be made by the same people responsible for Ant City and Bee City, only this film is a lot more low-key and less manic than those two others. I like it better this way. It results in a film that’s mildly weird and mildly amusing.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Color Harmony for Your Home (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #347 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
This 50s film presents a complicated system for choosing paint colors, as well as the colors of everything else in the home, so that the housewife need not rely on her own judgment and risk ending up with a room that’s not “tasteful”. All the colors presented are muted and sick-looking, but that’s the price you pay for being tasteful. That being said, the film is full of great examples of 50s furniture that any self-respecting vintage shop owner would groan over today, and which probably sells for thousands on eBay. My favorite, though, is the colored telephones (Wilbur, where are you when I need you?). Watch for a great scene of the ubiquitous 50s housewife in the film redecorating a room by simply painting over the wallpaper. And listen for lots of great lines, such as “Colorizer creates color order out of confusion,” or “Dial the color harmony of your creative tomorrow!”Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
The Clockmaker's Dream (film #9 on More Melies (A-1 Video). Also, film #10 on The Origins of Cinema, Volume 6: Rare Films (Video Yesteryear, 1997)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
He dreams of three pretty women who keep turning into clocks when he tries to get close to them. I think somebody's been working too hard. As always for Melies, though, the film is lively and creative. A 1903 Melies film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
The Adventures of Popeye (film #19 on ToonTracker Cartoon Showcase). [Category: Hollywood]
This is the Popeye version of Betty Boop’s Rise to Fame. A live action little boy buys a Popeye comic book, then gets beaten up by a bully, causing Popeye to appear and show him the fight scenes from a bunch of his cartoons, I guess by way of instruction. I don’t enjoy Popeye cartoons for the fight scenes generally, so this isn’t as fun as it could be. But the ending is great, featuring the little boy eating a jumbo can of spinach and then knocking the bully over the housetops.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Combat Bulletin No. 30 (film #1 on tape #5 of This Film Is Restricted Boxed Set (Marathon Music & Video, 1997)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Mud, snow, and rain bog down the Allied advance in this combat bulletin. In "Activities in the European Theatre of Operations", a key Nazi battleship is bombed by the RAF near Norway. Bad weather and smoke bombs make this difficult but eventually the ship is sunk. In "Front Line Steel Production", we see steel beams being produced by a Luxembourg steel mill near the front lines. In "Bombed Belgian Rail Networks", we see RAF footage of the aftermath of bombings of Belgian rail lines. Some of the twisted wreckage looks like new forms of art. In "Allied Armies Face Rain and Snow", General Eisenhower inspects troops despite snowy and flooded conditions. In "Rains Slow Allied Armies", Allied troops in Italy battle mud and flood waters more than Nazis. In "Burma Operations", lots of mules are delivered to the front lines (which looks like quite a job––some of them fall off a ferry despite being tied on!), where they are needed as pack animals. We also see timber being cut and processed in the jungle. Mud and mules make this one kind of fun.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
The Boxing Cats (Prof. Weldon’s) (film #34 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Apparently, filmed animal abuse didn’t start with Chevrolet Leader News––they were doing it back in 1894! Two cats in tiny boxing gloves duke it out, while their owner gleefully looks on. Actually, this is pretty arresting footage, though PETA won’t like it. An 1894 Edison film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
All About Eve Trailer (extra on The Ghost and Mrs. Muir DVD (20th Century Fox)). [Category: Commercial]
Bette Davis fans should enjoy this trailer, as she dominates it, though Anne Baxter and Celeste Holm also get in a few bitchy moments. The movie claims to be “All about women––and their men!” but it’s the women we see here, with tongues sharper than any man’s sword. Lots of fun if you like this sort of thing.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Angel’s Wild Women Trailer (extra on Dracula vs. Frankenstein DVD (Troma)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
Very brief trailer for a 70s exploitation pic featuring tough chicks, one of whom sports a whip. This would be campy if it was longer.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Community Fly Control Operations (extra on Godmonster of Indian Flats DVD (Something Weird, 2001)). [Category: Public Service]
Stark public service film from the 50s about controlling flies in small communities. The community of “Jonesville” has a problem––on the surface, it seems squeaky clean, but the constant swarms of flies reveal a seething cauldron of filth under the nice exterior. This would be good David Lynch material, except the film is so starkly made, in grainy black-and-white with narration throughout, that it’s boring. The scenes of huge clouds of insecticide being sprayed everywhere are fairly jaw-dropping, but the rest is dull as dishwater, which, by the way, you shouldn’t be dumping on your plants if you don’t want your house sprayed by masses of chemicals.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
The Accident (film #227 in the Action section of Brickfilms. Also, film #320 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
A short, very amateurish Brickfilm about a guy who attempts suicide by jumping out of his office window. He doesn’t die, but he does cause a number of pratfalls. This almost has the feel of a kid’s pretend game, and it’s not quite funny enough to pull it off. Still, since it takes lots of time and effort to make these things, I’ll be nice and hope this director gets better with practice.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Britain Mourns: Soccer Champs Die in Plane Crash (film #103 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: News]
Newsreel story from the 50s about a plane crash in Germany that killed most of a champion British soccer team. This is pretty ordinary, but tacked to the end is the beginning of a story I really want to see: one about an old army tank demolishing a house. Unfortunately, it cuts off before the good stuff starts.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Air Victims Come Home (film #39 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Short newsreel story from the post-war period about the arrival of the bodies of five American airmen who were shot down over Yugoslavia when their planes went off-course during a storm. Lots of patriotic narration about heroism here, from what seems to have been a tragic accident, but I guess when you die while serving in the armed forces, you die for your country.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Famous People at Play (film #30 in the Documentary section of Movieflix). [Category: Hollywood]
I expected this newsreel featurette, made in 1935, to be filled with footage of Hollywood stars in relaxed moments. There's some of that, but it's really more of a general survey of famous people from the 30s, including sports heros and European royalty. Most poignant are the scenes of the royal figures pursuing various sports and recreational activities, seemingly unconscious of the looming shadow of WWII. Most amusing is a scene of W. C. Fields goofing around on trapeze rings, obviously being held up from the bottom. This is a lot better than I thought it would be. It has a great deal of historical interest, particularly in terms of it being a snapshot of pre-war Europe.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Coffee Break (film #342 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
Jim has a problem. His boss is upset about how workers find a way to tack on lots of extra minutes to their coffee breaks with such unnecessary activities as talking, smoking, going to the bathroom, and, oh yeah, getting coffee. Since Jim is the personnel manager, the boss hands the problem off to him, demanding that he make the workers limit their breaks to 10 minutes on the nose, or else! To intimidate Jim more, he gives him a “gift” of an hourglass that measures 10 minutes and orders him to use it twice a day at coffee break time while he spends exactly 10 minutes thinking of the solution to the problem. The boss especially has a problem with women, lambasting them for spending time in the ladies’ room touching up their appearances (though I’ll bet if any of the women failed to do this, they’d be written up for poor appearance). Not considered is the fact that the workers seem to have to leave the building entirely and patronize a local diner with table service in order to get coffee, something that probably takes a lot more time than 10 minutes. Jim solves the problem by using his 10 minutes to get coffee with a buddy, along with a few extra minutes to have a cigarette and go to the bathroom. This management training film is a lot of fun, with a boss you love to hate and workers who gleefully get as much out of their coffee breaks as possible. The message of wasted time is undercut by the fact that the boss is portrayed as such a control freak with no sympathy for the worker’s position, so that even though the workers are essentially schmoozing on company time, you take their side just to thwart that boss. It ends with a Centronesque “What would YOU do?” ending. I’ll get back to you on that after I go get some coffee.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Beyond Bengal (film #25 on Feature Films. Also, film #11 in the Documentary section of Movieflix). [Category: Hollywood]
This 30s nature adventure documentary is the Asian version of Africa Speaks. It’s somewhat less offensive than the other film, since the natives are treated respectfully for the most part (with the exception of a romantic couple that stages a silly wedding) and at least some of the animal killing does not seem to be gratuitous. This actually looks like it was quite dangerous to make, as there are tigers, leopards, panthers, pythons, and stampeding elephants around every turn, and there are some actual scenes of people getting seriously injured by them. Most upsetting is their treatment of the monkeys––in one scene we see one get captured and humiliated seemingly only because it was annoying, though they do tell us they let it go later (I think they do––it’s hard to tell because there’s a cut in the soundtrack at that point), and in another scene we see a monkey almost being squeezed to death by a python. Granted, that’s nature for you, but since they go on to tell us that they rescued the monkey and kept it for a pet, the amount of time we see it getting squeezed by the python seems gratuitous. This film certainly doesn’t meet today’s standards for animal treatment, environmental practices, or cultural sensitivity, but it moves. And it gives us a peek into the wild jungles of Asia back in the days when wild animals were really abundant, giving the film historical value.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Buying Food (film #7 on AV Geeks. Also, film #10 on The Educational Archives, Vol. 8: Social Engineering 201 DVD (Fantoma, 2003)). [Category: Educational]
Straightforward Centron home ec film about getting the most from your food dollar. This is fun because it shows lots of 50s food products and 50s supermarkets. And just because it’s a home ec film, a genre I particularly enjoy. Also fun is the opening and closing theme music that sounds like Centron hired the organist at the local roller rink to do it. Beware of impulse buying, or you might end up like the bad example in this film, with a dinner consisting of oysters, rutabaga and stale cake.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Bowery Waltz (film #33 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]
A couple demonstrates a dance for us, said dance looking like either the dancers are participants in the last round of a dance marathon, or under the influence of alcohol. I suspect it’s the latter, and the title is meant to be a joke, but don’t quote me on that. An 1897 Edison film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
An Affair to Remember Trailer (extra on The Ghost and Mrs. Muir DVD (20th Century Fox)). [Category: Commercial]
Classy, well-made trailer for An Affair to Remember, starring Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr. These two stars are great fun to watch, so the trailer wisely lets the scenes speak for themselves with a minimum of commentary. It’s nice to see scenes from a good movie for a change.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
A Clever Dummy (film #43 in the Silent section of Movieflix). [Category: Early Film & TV]
A pair of mad scientists create an android version of Ben Turpin––now that's what I call mad! Unfortunately, the real Ben Turpin is also in the film and the expected havoc ensues when the two are confused. A mildly fun and wacky Keystone farce. A 1917 Keystone film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ****.
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Better Reading
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