Infant and Child Care (film #8 on Atomic Scare Films, Vol. 2 (Something Weird, 2000)).

Infant and child care under "disaster," i.e. bomb shelter, conditions is the topic here. Although in color, this film is stark and bleak. Somehow, seeing kids languidly tossing a baseball back and forth in a bomb shelter gives immediate meaning to the phrase "the living will envy the dead," especially if you imagine them having to stay in the shelter for more than a few days. Even teens are touched upon, and that opens up a whole new can of worms in your mind. One of the better arguments against nuclear war.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Behind These Scenes (downloaded from Google Video).

This Department of the Interior film from 1950 highlights the importance of raw material and energy production in fighting the Cold War. Lots of industrial footage is shown of such things as iron foundries, coal mines, and hydroelectric dams, while the narrator repeatedly emphasizes how increasing production of these things is vital to our national defense. The impact on the environment of all this increasing production is not mentioned, but you wouldn’t really expect it would be, apart from the fact that the Department of the Interior is also supposed to be concerned with conservation, a theme that appears in many early DOI films, but not at all here. No surprises, really, but this has some historical interest.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

The House in the Middle (available for download from Open Video Project. Also available for download from Prelinger Archive. Also, film #4 on You Can Beat the A-Bomb (Video Yesteryear)).

Did you know that good housekeeping can keep you safe from the atomic bomb? Houses are set up near bomb tests, some neat, some sloppy. The sloppy homes are described with barely concealed derision. "You have all seen homes like this," the narrator says, and we expect him to continue with something like, "...the homes of those weird, non-white people on the wrong side of the tracks." Needless to say, the neat homes survive the bomb lots better than the sloppy homes. "This proves that there is something you can do right now to protect yourself," the narrator continues. The fact that any people in the neat or sloppy homes would be toast is not acknowledged in any way. Appalling.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Handbook for Air Raid Wardens (film #6 on WWII V for Victory War Bonds & Rallies Show (Something Weird, 1996)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

This training film for air raid wardens and the general public on how to deal with air raids is quite quaint when you consider that the U.S. never had to deal with any. It has a stark, educational-film quality about it that gives it a real wartime feel. It's hard to remember that in the days after Pearl Harbor people were really afraid of being bombed. This is a great wartime relic with much historical interest and a bit of campiness as well.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

The Effects of Atomic Bomb Explosions (film #2 on Atomic Memories (Video Yesteryear)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

This film has a real campy opening: an army officer on furlough encounters a culture gone atom-crazy ("That guy's got a punch like an atom bomb!" "Try our Atomic Cocktail") and lots of ordinary folks with outrageous misconceptions about the bomb ("What scares me is that awful gas that deforms ya!"). Back from leave, he relates his experiences to his commanding officer, played by Hugh Beaumont, and Dad––uh, I mean Hugh––has a man-to-man talk with him, setting him straight on the facts of life about the a-bomb. Actually, this is one of the few cold-war propaganda films from this period that doesn't grossly underestimate or gloss over the destructive effects of the bomb. Of course, it was made to be shown to army personnel, rather than average citizens––the average folk were watching things like Duck and Cover and You Can Beat the A-Bomb, in which the bomb only musses things up a bit (which nobody believed). So no wonder people were confused. A great relic of the Cold War.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Duck and Cover (film #1 on Atomic Beach Blast Bingo DVD (A/V Geeks).Also, film #1 on Atomic Memories (Video Yesteryear). Also, film #2 on Atomic Scare Films, Vol. 1 (Something Weird, 1996). Also, film #1 on Atomic TV (Video Resources, 1994). Also, extra on Atomic War Bride/This Is Not a Test DVD (Something Weird, 2002). Also, film #5 on The Educational Archives, Vol. 5: Patriotism DVD (Fantoma, 2003). Also in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #466 on Prelinger Archive. Also, film #1 on U.S. Government Classics (Worldwide Entertainment Marketing, 1991)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

This children's educational film is probably the most memorable piece of Cold War ephemera. Animated Bert the Turtle tells kids they always have to be aware that the atomic bomb could go off any minute, but if they duck down and cover the backs of their necks, they'll be O.K. Apparently, this was widely shown in elementary schools during the 50s, and one wonders the effect it had on the mental health of the schoolchildren of the era. A must.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: *****.

Civil Defense Commercials (film #6 on Atomic Scare Films, Vol. 1 (Something Weird, 1996)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

These are really 5 promos for the National Guard. Two of them feature a singing cowboy who I probably should be able to identify, since he seemed to have his own tv show, but can't. Two of them are animated in the 50s "cute" style, which is highly unusual for armed services promos. A nice, historically interesting extra on the Atomic Scare Films tape.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Atomic Alert.

This is Encyclopedia Brittanica Films' answer to Duck and Cover. As you would expect, its somewhat more staid than the other film, but it has its moments. The opening graphic is quite cool and disturbing, with an atomic symbol superimposed on the iris of a human eye. The rest of the film, though, is a lot more prosaic, though it does have an incredibly sarcastic-sounding little sister character, and a scene where a boy doesn't know where to go when the siren goes off, and rather than go to one of his friend's houses as he is encouraged to do, he takes refuge in the home of a total stranger (with the blessing of the narrator––this just begs to be msted). As usual, the atomic threat is laughably minimized.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

The Atomic Dilemma: Challenge of Our Age (film #4 on Atomic Memories (Video Yesteryear)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

This short, possibly incomplete film documents an atom bomb test in the Utah desert in which a model town called "Survival City" was built and nuked. The city contained fully furnished houses, complete with mannequins and real food. There's lots of striking, somewhat surreal scenes of the houses blowing up, mannequin parts flying everywhere. It's similar in feel to the crash test scenes in Safety Belt for Susie. An oddity.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

The Atom Strikes (film #4 on Atomic Scare Films, Vol. 1 (Something Weird, 1996)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

This is an official army film documenting the destruction of the two atomic bomb strikes on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. It's very dry, in the style of the Combat Bulletins and Weekly Digests, but the subject matter is awe-inspiring. The destruction of property is on a scale never seen before or since (and let's hope it stays that way). No human injury footage is shown, but they do include an eyewitness account of the blast from a German Jesuit priest who was four miles away from ground zero. An important historical document.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

And a Voice Shall Be Heard! (film #4 on Atomic Scare Films, Vol. 2 (Something Weird, 2000)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

The good people of Syracuse, New York show us how they would cope with a nuclear attack. Things turn out just fine, mainly because they have plenty of two-way radios, a bank of phones that in peacetime were probably used to drum up support for Public Television, and a firetruck. We are especially relieved to find out that although an elementary school was nuked, no children were harmed because they all decided to play hooky that day. Check out the bowties on one of the ham radio experts and the bizarre looking "food" loaf a family is having for dinner during the closing credits.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

American Cities' Atomic Fallout Strategy (film #3 on Atomic Scare Films, Vol. 1 (Something Weird, 1996)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

If nuclear war comes, how will we protect ourselves from fallout spreading over the entire countryside, contaminating everything it comes in contact with? This film tries to answer that question. Mainly, it seems to involve ticking teletypes, big maps, and lots and lots of yellow radiation detectors with Civil Defense logos on them (I want one for the Film Ephemera Museum of Quirky Devices). This film is pretty dry, but it does have quite a bit of historical value, as it documents in detail Civil Defense strategies on local, state, and national levels.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ***.

About Fallout (1963) (film #17 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

This is the expanded version of the 1955 About Fallout, though to be honest, it looks like both films were made at about the same time. They contain identical scenes to each other and the clothing and hairstyles in both films are obviously from the early 60s. Anyway, this film contains more information than the previous version and it's a little bit less dry as well. It still paints an overly rosy view of a post-apocalyptic future, though. Yes, I know it was meant for those who live far away from any nuclear targets, but still it treats fallout as a completely isolated danger, ignoring the massive economic and social problems that are likely to ensue if all major cities get nuked. One eerie moment in the film is when the narrator talks about what we will need in a post-apocalyptic future, and we see a lone figure drive up on a motorcycle––that's just too remeniscent of Mad Max to go by without comment in my household! Overall, though, the film is still pretty dull.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

About Fallout (1955) (film #16 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

The effects of nuclear fallout and how you can protect yourself from it are explained in a rather dry fashion. This was made when they still thought a nuclear war was survivable, despite the scary map with red streaks that eventually fill the whole continent. A mildly fun segment features a housewife washing and preparing food in a fallout shelter. Where she manages to find fresh tomatoes during a nuclear holocaust is not explained. The rest of the film is pretty dull.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.