A Fortune in Two Old Trunks (available for download from Open Video Project. Also available for download from Prelinger Archive).

This film tells you way more than you want to know about prunes. About half of it tells the story of Louis Pellier, a Frenchman who brought the first cuttings of French prune trees to California and started the prune industry there. This is told very dramatically with actors, but with no dialogue, just narration and dramatic music, which, of course, provides ample opportunity for the viewer to supply his or her own dialogue in the form of msting. The other half of the film is the standard growing, harvesting, and packaging of produce film, featuring Sunsweet employees wearing uniforms that make them look like nurses. Near the end, we are treated to a number of tasty dishes that can be made with prunes––NOT! These are truly disgusting-looking, folks. All in all, this is your typical grower’s film, though on a subject that automatically increases its camp value.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Cattle Leaving the Corral (film #34 on America at Work, America at Leisure. Also in the Historical section of Open Video Project). [Category: Early Film & TV]

Cattle are driven out of a corral, while a couple of cowboys sitting on the fence look on. This is pretty much as advertised, but for real cattle-leaving-the-corral action, I’d go with Cattle Driven to Slaughter. An 1898 Edison film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: **.

Cattle Driven to Slaughter (film #33 on America at Work, America at Leisure. Also, film # 58 on Edison Film Archive. Also in the Historical section of Open Video Project). [Catagory: Early Film & TV]

Longhorn cattle are driven out of a corral and into eternity by cowboys wielding big sticks. Short, but has historical value. An 1897 Edison film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Farmers Aim to Break Picket Line (film #183 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: News]

Newsreel story from the 30s about farmers in Iowa striking for higher prices, while an anti-strike group breaks their picket line to send farm products to market, and rail lines and bridges that were destroyed by the strikers are repaired. Another example of frightening social unrest during the 30s. Lots of historical value here.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Citrus, the Golden Fruit (film #3 on Campy Classroom Classics, Vol. 10 DVD (Something Weird, 2004)). [Category: Industrial]

This film, sponsored by Sunkist, shows us in great detail how citrus fruits are grown, harvested, and shipped. The process is very similar to the one shown in Apples, but because this is a sponsored film, the narration is much more bright and breezy, trying to convince us that citrus fruits are just about the best things you can eat, ever. This gives the film more energy, and makes it more fun to watch. It also has a section at the end on cooking with and eating citrus fruits, featuring bizarre-looking concoctions that are not too unappetizing, since it’s hard to make citrus fruits look bad. Overall, this is a prime example of a sponsored film that tries to build good feelings for an agricultural product.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Apples (film #6 on Campy Classroom Classics, Vol. 5 DVD (Something Weird, 2004)). [Category: Educational]

This 50s film tells us all about how apples are grown, harvested, and shipped. It’s all told in a straightforward way which is not too boring, but has no surprises, either. I liked looking at the fruit crate labels that appeared in the section on packing the apples for shipment. Otherwise, this is very ordinary.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Feeding Cattle in Winter (film #5 on Buckaroos in Paradise). [Category: Industrial]

Cattle Rancher Les Stewart narrates this 40s film that he made that shows how hay is spread for cattle to feed them in winter. It’s actually fairly interesting, as he explains some of the reasons horses are better than tractors for this task, and I wasn’t even aware that horses were still used for things like that. Also demonstrated is a large crane-like device that was used to load hay on to the wagon. This has historical value in documenting 40s cattle ranching practices.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Calf Branding (film #26 on America at Work, America at Leisure. Also in the Historical section of Open Video Project). [Category: Early Film & TV]

Some cowboys brand some hapless calves. Since this was made in 1898, this is the real deal, folks. Animal lovers might find this upsetting, but this has real historical value. An 1898 Edison film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Farmer Miller Goes Into High Gear (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #502 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

This 20s silent film, made by Goodyear, tries to sell farmers on rubber tires for their tractors, a new idea back in the 20s. Farmer Miller writes to Better Farming magazine, asking what’s all the hoohah about rubber tractor tires. The editor writes back and encourages Farmer Miller to visit a farm equipment dealer for the real scoop. Farmer Miller does and he finds out his neighbor has been using rubber tires and loves ‘em. Meanwhile, his son Bob goes one better and visits the Goodyear factory and sees how tires are made. Farmer Miller is convinced, and he is so happy with his new Goodyear tractor tires that he writes the editor of Better Farming back to report his good news. The editor runs the letter in the next issue, along with an article about the National Plowing Champion, who also uses Goodyear tires. This is a great example of an early industrial film, and it contains most of the elements that would become standard later on, such as a personalized story and factory tour footage. Farm equipment buffs should enjoy this film very much, as it has lots of footage of old tractors and other farm equipment in action. The film documents an interesting period in the history of farming, when rubber tires eclipsed steel wheels, which gives it a lot of historical value as well.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Farm Petroleum Safety (film #1821 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

This 50s film was designed to warn farmers of the dangers of petroleum products and show them how to handle them safely. It starts at a county fair, where the local Farm Safety Committee, aided by the fire department, gives a speech and demonstration on petroleum products and their dangers. This is fun to watch, with lots of dramatic demonstrations of things burning and blowing up, feeling very much like an actual demonstration one might watch at a county fair. Then Jim, a teenager whose family house burned down when his mother unwisely poured kerosene on the fire of the wood-burning stove. This story, though typically tearjerking and dramatic, is actually well told enough to have some impact. It actually stirred some emotion from me, which is unusual for these types of safety films. I think it’s because they presented the tragedy in a straightforward and realistic fashion, pulling no punches, and avoiding scenery-chewing for the most part. Overall, this is a charming film which makes its points well and was probably effective for its intended audience.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

The Truck Farmer (MST3K Episode #507: I Accuse My Parents). [Category: Industrial]

The values of modern truck farming are extolled here, and the msting is merciless. From the exploitation of farm workers: "Where else are people exploited?", to slash and burn agriculture: "Stupid trees! I hate 'em!", to the overuse of chemicals: "There's nothing we can't spray!", to the overly meat-heavy American diet: "Well, it's not meat, but I supposed I'd better buy some just for appearances' sake,"––not a thing gets past Joel and the bots without commentary. Which is good, because the short itself is fairly dull.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Msting: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Agriculture USA (film #51 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

Industry! Building a better––no, wait! Agriculture! Building a better tomorrow! This USDA film tries desperately to make agriculture seem as exciting as the industrial World of Tomorrow. Technology is touted as The Answer to better farming, right down to sharing pastures with missile silos, educating people in India about The Atom on the Farm, and spraying everything in sight. It’s as bombastic as most industrial films and that makes it very mstable. It also has some wonderful factory footage of various forms of food processing. It kind of drags after awhile, though, and you just want to say, “I get it already!! Farming is good!!”

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Butchering Hogs (film #6 on Buckaroos in Paradise). [Category: Industrial]

Actually, this just covers one step of the butchering process, that of dipping the dead hogs in boiling water to remove their hair. Rancher Les Brown tells us that the timing of boiling the carcass has to be just right, but doesn’t get any more specific than saying they’re kept in for “a little while.” No gruesome stuff here, apart from a guy at the end who reaches into a slit-open carcass to pull the guts out, but it ends before the guts actually come out. Just FYI, in case you’re repulsed or attracted by that sort of thing.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Buckaroo Theodore Brown Parts a Cow from the Herd (film #16 on Buckaroos in Paradise). [Category: Industrial]

One of the cowboys leads a particular cow out of the herd, while the rancher narrates, explaining the process. If you want to know what real cowboys do, this is a piece of it. A great slice of Western life.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

A Buckaroo Conversation After a Morning’s Work (film #12 on Buckaroos in Paradise). [Category: Industrial]

The cowboys rather tersely discuss problems they had rounding up the cattle. This is definitely a real slice of life in all its gritty glory, no scripts here.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Buckaroo Clay Taylor Makes Up His Bedroll at the Black Ridge Camp (film #14 on Buckaroos in Paradise). [Category: Industrial]

We get to see a cowboy make up his bedroll, which consists of many layers, including a sleeping bag and something that just might be a buffalo robe. On the outside is a canvas cover that hooks closed, and then the whole thing is rolled up. It looks heavy. Cows moo in the background.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Breakfast in Camp (film #11 on Buckaroos in Paradise). [Category: Industrial]

Rancher Les Stewart wakes up his ranch hands well before dawn with a yell that could wake the dead, which was probably necessary at that ungodly hour of the morning. The hands, none of whom are morning people, stumble into the cook shack, mumble “Mornin’” to each other, and proceed to gobble down their breakfasts without further comment. I don’t care how many Westerns you’ve seen––this is what it’s really like to be a cowboy!

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Branding, Ninety-Six Ranch (film #18 on Buckaroos in Paradise). [Category: Industrial]

This short film shows the branding process in detail, so it’s not recommended for those who tend to identify with the calf. The calf gets a brand burned into its side, a wattle cut under its chin, an earmark cut into its ear, and several shots, all in the course of a couple of minutes. Fortunately, they only talk about castrating the bulls, rather than showing it. It certainly does not look like any picnic for the calf, but he does seem to recover from it rather quickly, but then what do I know? The film is a good record of cattle-raising practices, though.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Branding Calves (film #1 on Buckaroos in Paradise). [Category: Industrial]

This short film is part of a series made in the 1960s by a Nevada cattle rancher to document the ranching practices of the time. In this film, we see how calves are branded. It’s not nearly as upsetting as you might think, and it provides an interesting historical view of cattle ranching, ending with the wife bringing down a big meal for all the hands to eat.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Bird Dogs (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #220 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

This silent film shows us how bird dogs are trained and hunted with. It’s actually a pretty interesting project and the dogs are cute and fun to watch. The first part of the film, which shows training, is more interesting than the second part, which focuses on hunting. Still, I enjoyed this film a lot more than I thought I would.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.