Auto Accident: What to Do Afterward (available for viewing on A/V Geeks. Also available for download on Veoh).

This 70s film tells us what to do and what not to do right after a car accident happens. Unlike accident prevention films, the accident shown is a minor fender-bender, rather than a blood and gore fest. The straightforward, dry narration of a situation where emotions usually run high is mildly campy, as is the moment when a sleazy, ambulance-chasing lawyer shows up and tries to drum up some business at the accident site (we are told not to talk to him or sign anything, good advice if ever there was some). Though rather dry overall, this should make good msting fodder under the right circumstances.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Driving Tips (Series Two) (downloaded from Prelinger Archive).

This Sid Davis driver’s ed film from the 50s is very straightforward, covering such things as drunk driving, speeding, driving courtesy, and getting out of being stuck. No surprises here, but the visuals are interesting, giving you a clear color picture of what it was like to drive during the 50s. Huge 50s cars navigate on narrow, crowded streets and roads. A section covers driving over streetcar tracks, something most drivers have never seen today. And there’s lots of cool 50s signs to be seen, as well as views of a 50s car dashboard in the section on speeding. The film also shows us what it was like to drive in Southern California, especially the section on how to get out of a stuck place. The car shown is stuck in beach sand, and although the narrator mentions snow in passing, it’s obvious to us Northerners that he’s never had to deal with it, especially when he says that the best way to deal with getting stuck is to avoid situations where it might happen, something that’s not an option when snow is everywhere. The historical interest carries this film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Driving Tips (Series One) (downloaded from Prelinger Archive).

More driving tips from Sid Davis, this time covering such things as littering, traffic signs, going around curves, left turns, and hitchhikers. The section on road signs has a lot of great 50s signs in it. Again, this has lots of big, ugly 50s cars on narrow streets. Again, this is pretty ordinary, but I enjoyed the signs a lot.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Drive Your Bike (film #459 on Prelinger Archive).

This bicycle safety film from the 50s is incredibly cheaply-made and stilted. In it, some boys are discovered playing in a car. When their dad asks them about it, they tell them that they have been learning at school all about “driving their bikes;” that is, following all the traffic rules so that they will have less to learn when they finally get old enough to learn to drive a car. Then they go over all the standard safety rules with their dad in a very stilted fashion––considering Dad was on his way to work, I’m surprised that he sticks around for this as long as he does. Perhaps his job is even more tedious. Anyway, after hearing all of this, Dad then asks them if they really do it, instead of just talking about it––a sensible question if ever there was one. The boys then proceed to provide not one, but three examples of them avoiding accidents because of “driving their bikes.” Dad finally leaves for work at this point, but the film goes on to show us a bit of the coach’s bicycle safety class. By this time, you have a headache from having all this stuff beaten into it so repeatedly and stiltedly. This film is campy fun in brief snatches, but it hurts to watch the whole thing.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Drive and Survive (film #7 on Disc 2 of Hell’s Highway DVD (Kino Video, 2003)).

Gory clip from a 60s driver’s ed film that goes over the possible causes of accidents. This stands out because it doesn’t completely blame the driver, but also talks about unsafe auto design and highway engineering as possible factors. It also gives some good advice about what to do if you find yourself in a zero visibility situation. Of course, the gory visuals of corpses tell a different story.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Formations (available for download on Open Video Project. Also available for download on Prelinger Archive).

This Jam Handy driver safety film from the 30s tells us we should drive as if we are pilots flying in formation, which is just a goofy way to say we should be aware of the other cars on the road. The film goes over basic defensive driving strategies in the imitable Jam Handy style, which is lively and a bit silly. The film also gives us a good idea of what driving was like back in the 30s, an era of signaling turns with hands and fewer traffic laws. Typical Jam Handy fare with historical interest.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Dead Right (available for viewing on You Tube).

This Sid Davis pedestrian safety film from the 70s is aimed at adults for a change. It’s pretty straightforward, and not as full of scare tactics as you would expect from Davis, though he does show us a guy with a spinal cord injury he sustained after being hit by a car when he thought he had the right of way. The basic message of the film is that even if you legally have the right of way, you could still get slammed by a car if you don’t pay attention and use good judgment crossing the street, and if you get injured or killed, the fact that you were “right” will be small consolation. This is a sensible message for the most part, making this film less campy than the usual Davis fare, though the scene of the drunk pedestrian is mildly campy and the clothes, hairstyles, cars, and general depressing look of the film just screams 70s.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

And Then It Happened (downloaded from Google Video. Also available on You Tube). [Category: Educational]

We’ve come a long way from the 50s, kids. By the 70s, educational filmmakers had abandoned the “we just love being safe and following the rules” approach to safety films in favor of the scare approach. So this school bus safety film for junior high kids was based on the driver’s ed scare model, though perhaps not quite as gory. It tells the stories of two different bus accident caused by kids acting up on the bus. The kids are very realistic and extremely obnoxious, requiring the drivers to stop every few minutes to put out cigarettes, remove dogs, stop fights, and, in one case, to summon police to take a sick kid who had been popping pills to the hospital. You’re surprised that enough driving takes place to cause an accident, but the accidents eventually happen when the kids’ behavior becomes even worse. These dramatizations are portrayed with little narration, and the inevitable accidents are shown in lurid slow-motion. I suppose, if anything, this film prepared its junior high audience for the gory scare films they would later see in driver’s ed class in high school. This also qualifies as a scare film for anybody who was in junior high during the 70s, as it’s bound to bring back unpleasant traumatic flashbacks. And like watching most accidents, it’s extremely unpleasant, but you can’t tear yourself away.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: $$$$.

Caltrans Photolog Sample (film #6 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

You may find this silent driving footage to be oddly familiar-looking if you took driver’s ed in high school. That’s because this is film from the driving simulator, circa mid-80s. Only it’s as if the person operating the simulator was putting the pedal to the metal. Landscapes, small towns, curvy mountain roads, roadsigns––everything whizzes by at top speed. This has a slightly trippy feel after awhile, especially the curvy mountain roads, which seem to undulate sensually under their own power. Normally, I don’t review films in the educational category that are more recent than 1980, but when I found out that this was a simulator film, I just had to have it in my collection.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Death on the Highway (film #6 on Hell’s Highway DVD (Kino Video, 2003)). [Category: Educational]

Excerpt from a really gory driver’s ed film showing such cheery things as cut-off limbs, blood-spattered pavement, and bodies cut in half. This would be really disturbing, except the blood was obviously retouched with bright red paint, which makes everything look fake. The film was obviously very cheaply made, with stark narration and no music. Too bad this is just an excerpt––the full film is probably a camp classic.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Children’s Heroes – Kevin Keegan (film #59 on National Archives). [Category: Educational]

British soccer champ Kevin Keegan accosts a kid about to run out into traffic and shows him how to cross the street safely. This probably had some impact on its intended audience, that is, if it didn’t encourage them to run into traffic in the hopes of getting accosted by one of their heroes.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

The Crossroads Crash (film #10 on AV Geeks. Also, film #10 on The Educational Archives, Volume Three: Driver's Ed DVD (Fantoma, 2001)). [Category: Educational]

The rules for handling intersections are presented in a very 70s manner, from the Bonnie and Clyde opening to the big, earth-toned cars. The points are occasionally punctuated by crash-test footage featuring big black 50s Cadillacs with huge tailfins. A lightweight in the driver's ed genre.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

The Cool Hot Rod (film #377 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

Bill Bowers, a teen would-be hot-rodder, moves with his family to a new town that he thinks is full of “squares” who drive like “old ladies.” He is prepared to educate them in the ways of hot-rodding, which to him means driving like a maniac a la Dick York in Last Date, but he is actually the one who gets reeducated. The town has an organized hot-rod club that requires passing a driver education course, the car’s passing a rigorous safety inspection, six months of driving without getting a single ticket, and passing a “reliability test” as just some of its requirements for membership. Then you get to race your rod on the town’s dragstrip. Amazingly, Bill wants desperately to join this highly exclusive club and spends months taking driving lessons and working on his car in order to do it. As a result, he turns from a hood into a nice young man with an afterschool job at the gas station, which, of course, is the point. This film was sponsored by Hot Rod magazine, so it tries its level best to convince viewers that hot-rodding is a clean-cut, safe hobby. And it was made by Sid Davis, so that means Bill narrates the entire thing, including telling us what was said in all conversations rather than letting characters speak for themselves. This is a good example of a social guidance film that appears to be about a limited topic, but is really about turning teens from juvenile delinquents into nice young ladies and gentlemen. It does deserve credit, though, for showing girls as well as boys equally participating in the hobby, even to the point of working on their own cars and racing against male competitors, making it way ahead of its time in terms of gender roles.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Bicycle Safety (film #2 on AV Geeks). [Category: Educational]

Dry Centron bicycle safety film containing rules, rules, and more rules for riding your bike. There are a few amusing moments of examples of what not to do, and the overall environment is very representative of 50s suburbia, but mostly this is pretty tedious.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Bus Nut (film #6 on AV Geeks). [Category: Educational]

A little girl is a “bus nut”––that is, she’s obsessed with the school bus and following all the safety rules. Amazingly enough, this doesn’t get her beaten up by the other kids. This is a very 70s film, with all the right enlightened 70s casting choices. The main character is African American, the kids are different races, and the bus driver is a woman. Other than that, this could be a 50s film in its heavy-handedness and unrealistic portrayals of children (at least the “good” ones––the “bad” ones seem pretty real). And the acting will make you wince. Making this a fairly campy blast from the 70s.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Bicycle Clown (film #2 on AV Geeks). [Category: Educational]

A boy poorly narrates the story of his younger brother Jimmy, a kid who clowns around on his bike in order to impress his peers and thinks safety rules are for sissies. Since this is a Sid Davis film, he is punished for this by getting into an accident which results in him getting gauze wrapped around his head, his arm in a sling, and being confined to a hospital bed. Jimmy’s brother becomes obsessed with finding out why this happened, even though it’s obvious from the beginning that Jimmy is an idiotic daredevil. This is one of the tamer Sid Davis films, though.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Borrowed Power (film #228 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

Teen Jerry is a gentleman under most circumstances, but put him behind the wheel of a car and he becomes a real jerk. He gets his comeuppance, though, when the police arrest him for reckless driving and hint that he might be charged with a recent hit-and-run. This makes him sweat but good, as well as stupidly blurting out, “I didn’t hit anybody!” before anyone had even mentioned hitting and running. So as punishment, he has to sit and listen to a judge boringly lecture him about safe driving in front of his parents and his two best friends. This early 50s film is incredibly stilted and woodenly acted. There’s good msting fodder here, but other than that, it’s pretty tedious going. Still, it ends quickly with Jerry being exonerated, causing him to announce that from now on he intends to be the “brains behind the car,” an assertion that is not particularly reassuring after what we have seen before. This film was obviously meant to scare teenagers into safe driving, and it obviously didn’t work, given that driver’s ed films would become progressively gorier and more disgusting as time went by.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Bicycle Today, Automobile Tomorrow (film #211 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

This Sid Davis film manages to take all the fun out of bike riding by giving out rules, rules, and more rules. Especially tedious are all the rules of bike maintenance shown, none of which I ever followed as a kid, except for stopping by the gas station to fill my tires at the air pump, which was fun. There aren't even any bad examples or gruesome accidents, so Sid Davis must have been sleeping through this one. It might bring back some bike-riding memories if you were a kid during the 60s, though.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Anyone at All (film #6 on Oops! (A/V Geeks)). [Category: Educational]

Phil’s surprise party for his best friend Larry is ruined when Larry goes and gets himself killed in a car accident. As a result, Phil goes on an organizing frenzy, starting a teen safety council at his school and getting all kinds of other people in the community involved. Fortunately, everybody who gets involved has a tearjerking story to tell about a friend or relative whose life was ruined after getting into an accident. The campiest part is the end, where all the accident victims get to speak their piece about safety, including Larry, speaking from beyond the grave. When Phil is thanked by community leaders for getting everybody so fired up about safety, he says Larry really deserves the credit, a premise which is ludicrous after a moment’s thought. I guess Larry did everybody a big favor by dying in that accident, though I’m not sure he would like people to think so. Maybe we should all improve our communities by getting ourselves killed. A fairly campy film with lots of scenery-chewing.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

ABCs of Walking Wisely (film #282 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

This Sid Davis children's pedestrian safety film features an annoyingly cheerful and self-righteous female narrator, a cheerfully upbeat and annoying soundtrack, primitive cartoons of anthropomorphic letters of the alphabet, and lots of scenes of kids almost being hit by cars, enough so that you start to wonder about the safety of the child actors in the film. Its premise, that both good and bad pedestrians can be likened to letters of the alphabet, is absurd, but that's par for the course for this kind of film. For a Sid Davis film, this is remarkably mild, though there is a scary scene of one kid almost getting picked up by a hitchhiker, and in Sid Davis' world we all know what that means (except for the narrator, who stupidly supposes the motorist in question might be a "bad driver"). And you don't want to know what the "X-walker" is (though fortunately he is not graphically portrayed). I want the original drawings of the anthropomorphic letters for the Film Ephemera Museum of Quirky Devices.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.