Drug Effects (film #7 on The Educational Archives, Vol. 7: More Sex & Drugs DVD (Fantoma, 2003)). [Category: Industrial]

This was part of a series of films for managers teaching them how to address drug problems among their employees. For some baffling reason, this was done with an animated film using Flintstones-like characters. The caveman professor gives another caveman marijuana in order to show us the effects of the drug; however, the depiction of said effects is broadly comic and grossly exaggerated. Nevertheless, the film ends with the professor showing the audience how this film fits into the overall series of films, saying, “Now you know all about drug effects.” That’s like saying a person would know all about Paleolithic humans from watching an episode of “The Flintstones.” A head-scratcher.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: -****. Overall Rating: ****.

Coffee Break (film #342 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

Jim has a problem. His boss is upset about how workers find a way to tack on lots of extra minutes to their coffee breaks with such unnecessary activities as talking, smoking, going to the bathroom, and, oh yeah, getting coffee. Since Jim is the personnel manager, the boss hands the problem off to him, demanding that he make the workers limit their breaks to 10 minutes on the nose, or else! To intimidate Jim more, he gives him a “gift” of an hourglass that measures 10 minutes and orders him to use it twice a day at coffee break time while he spends exactly 10 minutes thinking of the solution to the problem. The boss especially has a problem with women, lambasting them for spending time in the ladies’ room touching up their appearances (though I’ll bet if any of the women failed to do this, they’d be written up for poor appearance). Not considered is the fact that the workers seem to have to leave the building entirely and patronize a local diner with table service in order to get coffee, something that probably takes a lot more time than 10 minutes. Jim solves the problem by using his 10 minutes to get coffee with a buddy, along with a few extra minutes to have a cigarette and go to the bathroom. This management training film is a lot of fun, with a boss you love to hate and workers who gleefully get as much out of their coffee breaks as possible. The message of wasted time is undercut by the fact that the boss is portrayed as such a control freak with no sympathy for the worker’s position, so that even though the workers are essentially schmoozing on company time, you take their side just to thwart that boss. It ends with a Centronesque “What would YOU do?” ending. I’ll get back to you on that after I go get some coffee.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

The Trouble with Women (film #48 on AV Geeks. Also, film #5 on The Educational Archives, Volume Four: On the Job DVD (Fantoma, 2002)). [Category: Industrial]

This should really be called The Trouble with Sexist Foremen. Brad is upset when Personnel sends yet another women into his department. He complains that women have problems with absenteeism, not giving proper notice when they're leaving, and complaining about assignments. He insists that men never give him these problems. It's pretty obvious what Brad's problem is.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Check and Let Me Know (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #290 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

The president of the Snodgrass Company meets a salesman from an industrial film company on a business trip and gets all hopped up about making an industrial film. So he puts the wheels into motion by telling his vice president about it and asking him to do some research on the cost. This order gets passed around from employee to employee, changing in the process like a game of Telephone, until it metamorphoses into an order for 5000 toasters and the “fact” that a great industrial film can be made for only $5000. The salesman must bear the brunt of this, because the guy from Snodgrass who calls him insists that the $5000 was his (the salesman’s) bid. This is sort of like a 50s version of Dilbert, which makes it amusing, though it’s hard to figure out who this was made for. The film company that made it obviously has a poor opinion of its customers, but no advice is given for how to handle such a screwed-up situation. This makes it a great weird piece of ephemera, giving us a glimpse into what it was probably really like in the corporate offices of that time. Of course, Calvin, the company that made it, revealed in Calvin Workshop that its films were made by chimps, so maybe they could make a film for under $5000. So what’s the salesman’s problem? On the other hand, the employees of the Snodgrass Company make the chimps look pretty smart.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Promotion By-Pass (film #22 on AV Geeks. Also, film #1 on The Educational Archives, Volume Four: On the Job (Fantoma, 2002)). [Category: Industrial]

This is another “What would you do?" film for supervisors. Robbins, an office manager, gets a call from another office to "send over his best man" to take over management of that office. Robbins has two men to choose from: Bob, a nice younger fellow who's a real "people person," and Harry, an older guy who's a company veteran with an excellent work record, but whose people skills frankly suck. One guess who gets the promotion before you can say "age discrimination." Robbins tries to soften the blow to ol' Harry by giving him a long explanation justifying his decision, full of compliments and "you're our best man, but..." excuses. Harry seems to take it well at first, but when asked for his honest comments, gives Robbins two words: "I quit." Robbins doesn't know what he did wrong and the question is posed to the viewer. This film is more fun than the other films in this series. Robbins' twangy accent and exaggerated speech patterns give the film a positively Centronesque feel. And the character of Harry is well-drawn––you understand why he got passed over for the promotion, but you feel for the guy just the same. But this is the 50s, so you know the deck is stacked from the beginning for boring Bob in the grey-flannel suit.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

The Bright Young Newcomer (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #250 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

In this training film for office managers, a conflict flares up between Joan, a newly-hired employee with lots of new ideas, and Betty, a long-time employee who designed many of that office’s procedures. Joan has some helpful suggestions about how the filing system could be changed, but Betty resents the upstart’s criticism of “her” filing system, which she thinks “has always been good enough up to now.” The office manager, Mr. Barnes, has to figure out how to resolve the issue, which he allowed to escalate by taking no action up to this point. The film ends without resolution, like the other films in this series, posing the discussion question, “Why is Betty resisting new ideas?” The answer, of course, is that Betty, as well as the other “girls” in this office, has been treated with absolutely no respect, even though the film makes clear that she essentially runs this office. They even admit that she has been there as long as Barnes. Yet she sits at a desk in the office pool, with no more authority than any of the other “girls” (they are always called that) in the office. This leaves her to fight like a junkyard dog over what little she can control––if she allows some young upstart to mess with “her” filing system, then she no longer can claim that it is “hers,” and take complete and sole credit for it. Both Barnes and the narrator of this film have the temerity to act as if this conflict was of no importance, that the “girls” make “mountains out of molehills” and get into spats over “nothing”––even though records management is essentially what this office does, and it’s clear that the “girls” handle all the real work of the department, leaving Barnes to answer “important” phone calls in his private, empty office and sign the occasional form that is brought to him. The real discussion question here, folks, is “Why is this company so resistant to the idea of treating their female employees with respect?” One of the most appallingly sexist films I’ve ever seen, which makes it a great historical document of why the woman’s movement was necessary.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Hidden Grievance (film #11 on The Educational Archives, Volume Four: On the Job DVD (Fantoma, 2002)). [Category: Industrial]

This is another "discussion film," like The Grapevine. Jake, a machinist with a Canadian accent, has a lot of complaints––the light's too dim, his feet hurt, etc. His foreman tries to be accomodating, but no dice. Jake finally tells him his real beef––he thinks he's being given all the tough jobs and none of the easy ones. The foreman tries to tell him that the jobs he's been assigned are no tougher than what anyone else has to do, but Jake doesn't believe him. So he goes and files a complaint with the union that he's being discriminated against, for being Canadian, I guess. What's the poor foreman to do? Again, this has a "What do you think?" ending. This seems a little more fair than The Grapevine. Neither Jake nor the foreman is made out to be a total bad guy––it seems like the problem is more a result of a misunderstanding. I'm not sure how I would handle it, frankly.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

The Grapevine (film #7 on The Educational Archives, Volume Four: On the Job (Fantoma, 2002)). [Catetgory: Industrial]

Mr. Stone, head of the accounting department, is frustrated because the "girls" (they are always referred to that way) in his department are constantly flying off the handle in response to wild rumours heard on the office grapevine. He wonders why they don't just ask him about stories they've heard, but he is totally clueless to the fact that when they do ask him about anything, he bites their heads off. Then, suddenly, we're in Centron-land––the film has a “What do you think?" ending. The sexism in this film is both blatant and subtle, which was typical of the time in which it was made.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.