Andy's Animal Alphabet (film #378 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

This is an alphabet of animals in the Bronx Zoo, which is one of the better concepts for an alphabet film I've come across. Andy is a baby orangutan and for some reason he is the host, or more accurately the mascot, for the film. Which is not a bad idea, really, because he is genuinely cute and charming just being a baby orangutan. The other animals are fun, too, making this one of the best of the alphabet films, which are usually boring.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ****.

The Alphabet Conspiracy (Rhino, 1991). [Category: Educational]

This Bell Science film introduces the viewer to the science of linguistics, a topic not widely known to the general public, in the partly-animated, slightly silly, slightly trippy Bell Science way. Judy, a schoolgirl with too much English homework to do, falls asleep at her desk and dreams that Hans Conreid as the Mad Hatter tries to involve her in a conspiracy to destroy the alphabet. Before he can get too far, though, friendly old Dr. Frank Baxter, a.k.a. Bunson Honeyd...I mean Dr. Linguistics, comes along and takes Judy under his wing, telling her just about everything she needs to know about language and then some, with the help of animated segments and film clips. Much of the material is quite interesting and even the dry stuff is presented in an interesting way. Conreid is a lot of fun and I only wish his speech patterns had been analyzed by Dr. Linguistics. Like most Bell Science films, this is a lot of fun. As well as being incredibly populuxe and containing the benign presence of Dr. Frank, the film has incredibly huge, clunky-looking "state-of-the-art" computer technology and one of the most fake beatniks in film history (though he's overshadowed when Dr. Frank himself starts talking in beat lingo). The film is both campy and genuinely engaging, which is a great combination for film ephemera. Every educational collection needs at least a few Bell Science films.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Alphabet Antics (MST3K Episode #307: Daddy-O). [Category: Educational]

Kindergartners are taught the alphabet through the use of stock footage. Seriously, it seems like the only criteria used for choosing what will represent each letter is what stock footage they had lying around, and if they didn't have anything good for a particular letter, they just used what they had and stretched it (example: "T" is for "trying terribly hard" and the visual is some bear cubs trying to reach baby bottles hung from a string just out of their reach––Tom Servo says "T is for tormented, tortured, and teased!" which would fit just as well). Some of the stock footage looks positively ancient. The msting is pretty good.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: **. Msting: ***. Overall Rating: ***.