Courtesy for Beginners (available on A/V Geeks. Also available for download from Google Video). [Category: Educational]

This 60s manners film for gradeschoolers is pretty campy, but it’s also so utterly charming that you don’t want to be too hard on it. Most fun is a scene of kids practicing greetings by speaking into a tape recorder. They do the greetings in a stilted, yet realistic (for kids) fashion, then make faces when they hear their voices played back. Then they have other kids respond politely to the recorded greetings, and this is also a lot of fun. OK, it’s important to teach kids manners, and the basic civility taught in this film is reasonable, but it’s hard not to start giggling at the earnestness portrayed here, while still being swayed by its charm. This is a late-60s Coronet film, with all of the Coronet earnest charm, which wouldn’t be around for much longer, so there’s a wistfulness about this film, too.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Courtesy at School (available on A/V Geeks. Also available for download from Google Video. Also available on You Tube). [Category: Educational]

Jerry is so hepped up about being the first one on the baseball field that he thoughtlessly knocks the books out of a girl’s hand’s as he brushes by her, and then breaks up a marble game by running through it. Fortunately, though, Jerry’s class is learning about courtesy that day. After getting a rundown on all kinds of rules to follow at school in order to make everyone’s life easier, Jerry reforms and makes himself a bunch of picture signs to remind himself to be courteous. This Cornonet film tells its story entirely through narration, making it less lively than the usual Cornonet fare. Other than a brief scene of a really strange puppet show (no Mr. Bungle, though), this is pretty ordinary.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Are You Listening? (available on You Tube). [Category: Educational]

An elementary school teacher has trouble getting her kids to “listen and follow directions” (i.e. obey her every command), so she uses her talents in the black arts to turn them into hideous mutant giant ears, while turning herself into an even more hideous mutant giant mouth. Then, if that’s not bad enough, she actually takes the kids out into public in this condition! She tries to teach them the safety rules for crossing the street, totally oblivious to the fact that the kids can’t see, being giant ears. She does eventually change them back at the end and rewards them with ice cream for being cooperative little mutants, which almost makes up for it, but still. I bet this film scared more than a few kids into listening to their teacher!

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: *****.

Dinner Party (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #430 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

Stiff, stilted manners film from the 40s featuring teens having a dull, lifeless dinner party, and the narrator reading their thoughts, most of which consist of worries that they are not doing everything absolutely 100% correct. The constant implication is that any manners gaffes, no matter how small, have the potential to totally ruin such a party, even though the narrator takes pains to deny this. Other implied contradictions include the narrator repeatedly asserting that the rules of etiquette have logical reasons behind them while never even once giving such a logical reason and further implying that even logical behaviors are forbidden if they’re not “correct”, and the assertion that being perfect in one’s manners increases enjoyment for everyone despite the fact that the both the hosts and the guests of the party are constantly worrying about whether they are doing things right or not. Simmel-Messervey seemed to have a talent for producing “manners” films that exposed the dark side of 40s and 50s middle-class conformity. Their masterpiece in this is A Date with Your Family. This film shows that even outside of the family, the straightjacket of conformity was tightly bound.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Dining Together (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #439 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

Extremely stiff and cheaply made manners film from the 40s that teaches kids proper table manners for Thanksgiving. They couldn’t afford synchronized sound, so all you hear is cheesy piano music and slow stiff narration, using the collective “we” a lot, such as “We like having good table manners.” Fortunately, this kind of obvious mind-control strategy is a complete washout with kids––otherwise, we’d all resemble the living dead in such films as A Date with Your Family. Brain-deadening.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Cindy Goes to a Party (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #319 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

Tomboy Cindy is bummed out because she wasn’t invited to her friend Mary’s birthday party, presumably because of her tomboyish ways. Fortunately, her fairy godmother comes and saves the day, mostly by waving her magic wand to make rules of party etiquette appear in the air in front of her. Cindy and her friend Dennis (who is also afflicted with the same psychosis, even seeing the fairy godmother in a print of Whistler’s Mother) have fun at the party by being good little conformists and following all the fairy godmother’s rules. However, when Cindy begins to anticipate what the fairy godmother will say (which is not too difficult as her rules are incredibly obvious and elementary––“Don’t break things” is an example), the godmother slides into a fit of depressed uselessness, saying, “You don’t need me anymore!”, which is a cue for Cindy and Dennis to emotionally rescue her by insisting that they do too need her, and generally shoring up her fragile ego. So they are also learning the habits of codependence at an early age as well. As you might guess from the description, this film is incredibly campy and has a great deal of entertainment value. I always say you can’t go wrong with supernatural visitors, especially neurotic ones.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: *****.

As Others See Us.

This 50s manners film for high-schoolers gives us lots of garishly-colored scenes of 50s high school life, such as jostling through the halls, eating lunch (check out the selections and prices on the menu board!), and, yes, the prom. If you went to high school during the 50s, this should trigger flashbacks and nightmares; for all others, it's a real hoot.
Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.