The Bike (available on A/V Geeks). [Category: Educational]

A boy covets his neighbor’s bike. After the neighbor family goes away from home, leaving the bike in the yard, another kid comes over and convinces the first kid to “borrow” the bike for a ride. Later, the second kid breaks the bike in a minor accident and both kids agonize over what to do, while blaming each other. This is a well made and realistic film that simply shows the two kids dealing with the situation in kid fashion. It ends unresolved, probably to spark discussion. Assuming such discussion took place, this was probably one of the more effective “conduct” films out there.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Discipline During Adolescence (downloaded from Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

This is sort of a Centron “discussion film” for parents (though it was not made by Centron). Steve’s parents are worried about him because he’s been staying out late every night, neglecting his schoolwork, and generally having a bad attitude about things. Steve’s mom, amazingly enough, wants to deal with this by ignoring it, because this tactic worked with the teenaged son of one of her friends. Steve’s dad is all for punishment, but he decides to try it Mom’s way after she talks him into it. Unfortunately, Steve’s behavior just gets worse, so Dad steps in and lays down the law, grounding Steve for a week and cutting off his allowance. This means Steve can’t take his girlfriend to the big school dance, an end-of-the-world outcome for a 50s teen. So, while the narrator asks us what we think about Steve’s parents, we see Steve looking at the want ads, obviously in preparation for leaving home. Steve’s parents portray the simplistic parenting extremes of total lenience vs. unfairly harsh discipline, but I think that’s supposed to be the point. The fact that it’s more complex than that is strongly implied, making this a more intelligent film than I was expecting. Of course, it would only really be valuable if intelligent discussion and guidance followed, which is not always how educational films were used. The film’s portrayal of 50s teen life is appealingly corny––it could have served as a model for the 70s “Happy Days’ kind of idealized portraits of the 50s.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Destruction: Fun or Dumb? (film #11 on AV Geeks). [Category: Educational]

This 70s anti-vandalism film is as strident as any 50s film, plus it has an incredibly dorky theme song and lots of bad acting to boot. They may leave it to the students to decide if destruction is fun or dumb, but as for the film itself, I pick the latter. Sometimes you just want to break something, you know?

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Cheating (MST3K Episode #515: The Wild World of Batwoman. Also, film #4 on Disc #4 of The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection, Vol. 2 DVD (Rhino, 2002). Also, film #289 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

"So, is this Ingmar Bergman's first American film?" asks Crow, and it would seem so. High school big-shot John talks his sweet girlfriend Mary into providing him with the answers on algebra tests (he's too busy being a student council member to study). Eventually he gets caught and must suffer for his transgressions. Being kicked off the student council is the least of his troubles, though, as he is tormented by the disembodied head of the algebra teacher, dark lighting, depressing sets, and an incredibly loud ticking clock. This is one of the most depressing films I've ever seen. Never has the concept of shame been so aptly depicted. The triviality of the sin compared with the tone of the film creates a remarkable absurdity. And the msting is great, too: "Mother Theresa called. She hates you!"

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: ****. Msting: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Caught in a Rip-Off (film #2 on Sound of Centron DVD). [Category: Educational]

This 70s Centron film is narrated by a teenage shoplifter, telling the story of how he was caught trying to shoplift a can of spraypaint from a hardware store and felt intense shame as a result. The narration of his story starts out cool, hip, and self-justifying, and gradually gets more and more overwrought as he discovers there is no way out from getting caught and having the police called. If you were a teen during the 70s, this film will probably bring back memories, and probably not pleasant ones. Memories of shame and humiliation. Still, these feelings were more likely to result from peer rejection rather than being confronted by a police officer. Even though it’s no fun to be arrested, the anguish shown by the main character of this film seems out of proportion to the situation. It’s not particularly campy, though, because the anguish seems all too real nonetheless. I doubt, though, that this had much of an impact on teen shoplifters. Like the earlier 50s Centron films, this has actors with twangy Kansas accents, making it a bit reminiscent of that other great classic of teen shame, Cheating.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

The Bully (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also film #263 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

Chick Allen, a high-school kid who spends his time bullying a bunch of grade school kids, makes big plans to bust up the class picnic, even though he’s invited too. He forces all his little victims to go along with his plans. Fortunately, one of them tells his older sister, who is on the picnic planning committee. She tells the rest of the kids in the class and they secretly change the location of the picnic, then stupidly send Chick a note after he and his victims show up at the original picnic site inviting him to come to the relocated picnic. When Chick and his victims show up, Centron asks us, “What do you think?” This is one of the most amateurish Centron productions I’ve seen. The acting is universally horrible, with the actors’ charming Kansas twang not bailing them out this time. The plot is bizarre, with a setup that bears no resemblance to real bullying, except in the infliction of pain and fear in the victims. Still, this makes the movie quite campy and ripe for msting.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Big Man on Campus (film #215 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

High school student Jerry Warner sits in front of the principal's office, his life flashing before his eyes. Mostly it's a life filled with such horrible crimes as throwing milk cartons, riding a bicycle with no hands, and spray-painting a teacher's lab coat. Jerry narrates his life story, and either puberty is still several years in the future for him, or they got a 4th-grader to dub in his voice. Jerry gets suspended for his pranks and this causes him to turn over a new leaf in the direction of conformity to adult expectations. He'd better, or I'm sure Sid Davis has gruesome consequences in mind for him.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

The Big Deal (film #4 on Christian Youth Scare Films, Vol. 5 (Something Weird, 2000)). [Category: Educational]

10-year-old wheeler-dealer Pete swindles his best friend out of his birthday watch and then talks him into getting the goods on another kid who is going to cheat in a contest they are all going to enter. Pete's mentor is his Uncle Fred, a deli owner who engages in shady shenanigans like putting rabbit meat in his "chicken salad." But then Pete has a heart-to-heart talk with his dad, who sets him straight about this whole honesty business. This 30-second conversation that vaguely mentions the Bible causes Pete to have a complete change of heart. He gives back his buddy's watch and abandons his bright idea for "fighting fire with fire" in the contest. Wow, I didn't know parenting was so easy. This is actually an appealing little film. The child actors are unschooled and amateurish, but that makes them seem more real. And the complex moral issues raised are more than I would expect from this kind of film. Of course, the super-easy resolution takes all that realism and throws it out the window, but that's ephemera for you.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.