Caltrans Photolog Sample (film #6 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

You may find this silent driving footage to be oddly familiar-looking if you took driver’s ed in high school. That’s because this is film from the driving simulator, circa mid-80s. Only it’s as if the person operating the simulator was putting the pedal to the metal. Landscapes, small towns, curvy mountain roads, roadsigns––everything whizzes by at top speed. This has a slightly trippy feel after awhile, especially the curvy mountain roads, which seem to undulate sensually under their own power. Normally, I don’t review films in the educational category that are more recent than 1980, but when I found out that this was a simulator film, I just had to have it in my collection.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Dining Together (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #439 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

Extremely stiff and cheaply made manners film from the 40s that teaches kids proper table manners for Thanksgiving. They couldn’t afford synchronized sound, so all you hear is cheesy piano music and slow stiff narration, using the collective “we” a lot, such as “We like having good table manners.” Fortunately, this kind of obvious mind-control strategy is a complete washout with kids––otherwise, we’d all resemble the living dead in such films as A Date with Your Family. Brain-deadening.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Central High School Gymnastic Drill (film #35 on America at Work, America at Leisure. Also in the Historical section of Open Video Project). [Category: Early Film & TV]

Boys dressed in leotards demonstrate vaulting, boys dressed in shirts and ties show us their stuff on the parallel bars, while girls dressed in priceless-looking bloomer uniforms rock back and forth on a seesaw-ladder contraption. This has a wonderful turn-of-the-century feel to it, as well as being very well preserved. A 1904 Biograph film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Blood and Sand Trailer (film #19 on SabuCat Movie Trailers). [Category: Commercial]

Trailer in glorious Technicolor for the 40s big-budget bullfighting movie Blood and Sand. If you want the Hollywood version of Spain and bullfighting, then this is your trailer. If you want to see beautiful costumes and sets from Hollywood at its peak, then this is also your trailer. Personally, I’d rather watch Bully for Bugs. Like most SabuCat trailers, this is remarkably well preserved.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Bob Dylan & the Band, Isle of Wight 1969 (film #15 on Bedazzled. Also, film #10 in the Video section of Bedazzled). [Catgory: Sleaze & Outsider]

The Band performs the song “The Weight” in this live footage from the Isle of Wight concert. This is one of my favorite songs of theirs, so it’s fun seeing it live. The shaky camerawork and murky lighting make me think this may be a bootleg film––it sure looks like it was filmed by a member of the audience. Despite the title, Dylan is nowhere to be found in this clip.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Driven to Kill (film #456 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]

Lowell Thomas narrates this mawkish driving safety film. He tells us the story of Hal, a nice guy and solid citizen, except when he’s driving. Hal drives like a jerk and eventually causes an accident that kills the other driver. Thomas makes a lot of emotional hay with this, but somehow I doubt the film had much impact on jerky drivers. The film is very similar to many other driving safety films of its time, with little to make it stand out, other than Thomas and the shameless overacting of the woman who plays Hal’s wife.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

The Eyes of the Mummy (Hollywood's Attic, 1996). [Category: Early Film & TV]

This version has its title cards all in German, so it's a little hard to follow if you don't understand the language (like I don't), but eventually the story pieces itself together. A European explorer in Egypt discovers a beautiful Egyptian woman being held prisoner in a pyramid by a strange, wild-eyed Egyptian man. The European rescues her and takes her home with him, where she has a bit of trouble adapting to straightlaced Victorian society. She eventually makes a hit with her exotic dancing (yes, you read that correctly). Unfortunately, the wild-eyed Egyptian manages to track her down and begins harassing her in secret. The nice European guy is unable to prevent a tragic ending for them both. Pola Negri plays the exotic Egyptian woman and I bet this film made her career. An interesting exotic romance with some nice visual moments. Be warned if you're a monster fan, though, that there are absolutely no mummies in the film. A 1918 Ernst Lubitsch film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Astro Boy Opening (film #44 on ToonTracker Cartoon Showcase). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

Cheesy, yet lovable opening of the 60s syndicated cartoon show “Astro Boy.” A great slice of early 60s kidvid.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

5th Republic: New Era Dawns as De Gaulle Invested (film #23 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: News]

50s newsreel showing the investiture of Charles De Gaulle as president of France, ushering in France’s 5th republic. This is pretty much what you’d expect (De Gaulle even ends his speech with “Vive L’France!”), but it has historical value.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Herr Meets Hare (film #10 on Bugs & Daffy: The Wartime Cartoons (MGM/UA Home Video, 1989)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

Now this is more like how we like to see Bugs Bunny! Bugs takes a wrong turn at Albuquerque and ends up in Germany's Black Forest, confronted by Hermann Goering himself. Of course, Goering is no match for Bugs. Bugs' impersonation of Hitler is priceless. And his impersonation of Brunhilde is a preview of What's Opera, Doc?

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Biggest Bomber (film #99 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

Post-war newsreel showing the B-36 bomber, at that time the biggest bomber made. Also included is a story of General Eisenhower inspecting the military in Brazil. This is all very ordinary.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.

Flying with Arthur Godfrey (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #526 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

Arthur Godfrey hosts this film, sponsored by Eastern Airlines, where he tells us that although broadcasting is his bread and butter, his real passion is flying airplanes. He tells us all about his flying history, and shows us some early planes, but the real meat of the film is an extended section of him piloting a routine Eastern Airlines domestic flight in a Lockheed Super-Constellation. This is actually quite interesting, as he goes into detail about how a commercial airline is piloted, how to navigate over water, and how pilots use instruments to guide them when the weather prevents a visual approach. Then he shows us one of the Air Force’s latest jets, and an air force pilot does some stunts for us, as well as showing us what it’s like to be in a plane when the sound barrier is broken. The film ends with an Eastern Airlines bigwig accurately predicting that jets would soon take over commercial airline flights, and inaccurately predicting that the airlines would run helicopter shuttle services between downtown areas and airports. This is an engaging film that typifies the genre of the company feel-good film. Godfrey sweeps the viewer along on various flight adventures, while soft-selling the real message of the film, which is that commercial airline fight, at least as it’s done by Eastern, is completely safe, because nothing is left to chance. Godfrey is the perfect pitchman for this sort of thing, with all of his TV experience. In fact, his pitching goes into overdrive after awhile, causing him to plug Chesterfield cigarettes during the cruising stage (watching him and the other pilots smoke in the cockpit is a real hoot from today’s perspective), and to plug Air Force recruitment after the jet sequence. Overall, this is a classic example of the industrial film genre.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Hollywood Scrapbook (film #40 in the Documentary section of Movieflix). [Category: Hollywood]

In this 30s featurette, we see a bunch of random clips of stars engaging in various sports and recreational activities, narrated in a boring style by a guy who sounds like he’d rather be someplace else. The footage is blurry, most of the stars are minor and nearly unknown today, and the glimpses you get of them are brief. I think they could have tried harder with this one.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.

County Hospital (film #10 on Laurel and Hardy DVD (Hallmark Home Entertainment, 2003)). [Category: Hollywood]

Ollie is laid up in the hospital with a broken leg, and everything is calm and peaceful until Stan arrives. Stan causes the usual mayhem and this gets them both kicked out of the hospital, but not before Stan accidentally sits on a hypo containing a powerful narcotic. Stan ends up driving Ollie home under the influence, resulting in one of the most bizarre driving process shots ever. This short is not one of the duo’s best, but it does have its moments. I like Stan’s subtle moments the best, such as his confused expression upon hearing the word “solarium.”

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Cattle Leaving the Corral (film #34 on America at Work, America at Leisure. Also in the Historical section of Open Video Project). [Category: Early Film & TV]

Cattle are driven out of a corral, while a couple of cowboys sitting on the fence look on. This is pretty much as advertised, but for real cattle-leaving-the-corral action, I’d go with Cattle Driven to Slaughter. An 1898 Edison film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: **.

Development of a Salamander (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #430 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

Silent film from the 20s that uses time-lapse photography to show the development of a salamander from egg to larva. I bet this was really amazing back in the 20s, and it’s still pretty interesting today. There’s something amazing about cell division and growth when you see it fast enough to detect the motion. This is well photographed and fairly well preserved, with some striking imagery for a video artist to mine.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Blood and Black Lace Trailer (extra on Blood and Black Lace DVD (VCI Entertainment). Also, extra on Horrors of the Black Museum DVD (VCI Entertainment)). [Category: Commercial]

Lurid, over-the-top trailer for the 50s horror movie Blood and Black Lace. The scenes shown are actually fairly scary, but the horror is skewered by the incredibly annoying narrator, who says things like, “It will skewer your emotions!” Yeah, buddy, if your voice doesn’t first.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Beatles Press Conference, Los Angeles, 8-16-64 (film #3 on Bedazzled. Also, film #3 in the Video section of Bedazzled). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

This press conference from right after the Beatles arrived in the United States for the first time is a real free-for-all, with everybody talking at once, and reporters simultaneously firing questions at different members of the band. The Beatles, when you can hear them, answer with their usual humorous aplomb, especially John, who does his best to be a real smartass. This has historical value, as well as an authentic unscripted feel, but I wish you could hear the questions and answers better.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Extraordinary Illusions (film #3 on Marvelous Melies (A-1 Video)). [Category: Early Film & TV]

A magician creates a woman from various parts, then brings her to life and puts her through all kinds of weird transmutations. I'd like to see both a Freudian analysis and a feminist critique of this one. A 1903 Melies film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Naomi Says Yes (film #26 in the Jewish Communities section of Stephen Spielberg Jewish Film Archive). [Category: Public Service]

Susie, a puppet-animated member of Hadassah, is hell-bent on recruiting Naomi, a busy, puppet-animated Jewish housewife, into the organization. She does this by giving Hadassah the hard sell, and by forcing Naomi to climb a large, red line that represents Hadassah’s membership growth over the years. She succeeds eventually, despite the fact that neither she nor Naomi have working mouths. This is a cute, mildly strange film that makes its points well, though with the weird ambiance found in puppet animation. One of the more unusual films on the Spielberg Archive.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.