Abstract Coaster Footage #1 (film #259 on Open Source Movies). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

Black-and-white footage of an old roller coaster to the tune of an acoustic version of “Across the Universe” by the Beatles. This has a nice nostalgic feel to it and allows you to groove on the visual images, which I think was its purpose.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

The Clowns (film #1 on Clowns and Cavemen DVD (A/V Geeks)). [Category: Educational]

A collage-animated clown escapes from a painting and struggles to play ball with a most uncooperative fish. This little piece of Czech silliness was put out by an educational film distributor, but it’s hard to see what the educational value of it is. Still, it’s kind of fun to watch, as some of the animation is quite clever.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Death of Lawrence of Arabia (film #7 in the Featured Clip Archive section of WPA Film Library). [Category: News]

British newsreel reporting the death and funeral of T.E. Lawrence, better known as Lawrence of Arabia for his championing of Arab independence. This is very British, with clipped narration and the merest hint of possible foul play. Brit fans will find this historically interesting and fun to watch.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Attlee Here for Parley (film #76 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

Post-war newsreel reporting a visit by England’s Prime Minister Clement Attlee. This is pretty dull. More interesting is a later story about a goofy-looking 3-wheeled car. Also included are stories about the president’s yacht (must be rough, Truman!) and the making of a new air speed record. The 3-wheeled car is the definite standout here. I definitely want one for the Film Ephemera Museum of Quirky Devices.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Detroit News Newsreel (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #272 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]

This early newsreel documents events in Michigan. I never knew that there were local and regional newsreels made, so that's a new one on me. The most interesting story involves cops who nab speeders by jumping from their motorcycles onto the cars' running boards. More surprising than that is the penalty the speeders pay––they are sent to a prison workfarm! Remind me to always obey the speed limit in Michigan. The rest of the stories involve local community events such as parades, picnics, and sporting events. They're pretty standard, but they should have quite a bit of historical value for those researching Michigan history. A 1917 film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

The Easier Way (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #471 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

A guy who’s obsessed with time and motion study thoroughly ruins a dinner party by talking about nothing else and making the guests try out different ways of putting pegs into a pegboard. His wife gets even with him by assigning him to the kitchen to design a better way of doing dishes. This is a charmingly dorky film that actually makes its points pretty well, but in a silly way. Making it a highly entertaining piece of ephemera.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Aladdin and the Wonderful Lamp (film #1 on Disc #4 of 150 Cartoon Classics DVD Mega-Pack (Mill Creek Entertainment, 2006)). [Category: Hollywood]

Olive Oyl, a writer for Surprise Pictures, writes a version of “Aladdin” with Popeye as the main character and herself as the princess. This is told fairly straightforwardly, with the exceptions of Popeye’s mumbled asides and the fact that his can of spinach whups the magic lamp after the villain gets ahold of it. The script causes Olive to be fired, but they filmed it anyway. This is standard Popeye fare, with mildly amusing moments in a fairly ordinary cartoon.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Book Salesman (film #4 on The Burns & Allen Show DVD (PC Treasures, 2005). Also, film #1 on The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show DVD (Treasure Box Collection)). [Category: Early Film & TV]

This is a great example of early live tv at its finest. “The Burns & Allen Show” occupied a netherworld between vaudeville, radio, and tv sitcoms. George Burns starts the show by giving a monologue on a stage, then the curtain opens to reveal a sparse house set, where the silly antics of George, Gracie, and their neighbors, the Mortons, take place. George alternates between narrating and appearing in the action, and the proceedings are wonderfully surreal, with Carnation milk commercials being bizarrely incorporated into the action, jokes being made about the open-house set, and flubbed lines and appearances of the boom mike being left in. There’s a song in the middle of things, but the real attraction is Gracie’s illogical logic, which is in full flower here. The title of the episode refers to a wonderful segment where Gracie bamboozles a book salesman until he admits defeat––I’d love to have her around to take care of telephone solicitors! The humor is still fresh and lively today, with Gracie’s character so brilliant in her stupidity that she prevails in every sequence, so you can in no way call the portrayal insulting. This episode was found on two different bargain DVDs from the dollar store, which only makes me want to dig through the bins some more to see what other gems can be found there.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****+. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: *****.

Dangerous Comment (film #6 on Americans in War (NFV, 1990)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

This British film reminds us that a slip of a lip can sink a ship. A flyer tells his girlfriend about a raid he's going on, she tells it to a friend, the friend goes to the pub and lets it slip in casual conversation, and the fifth columnist bartender tells the Nazis. Disaster for the pilots is only narrowly averted. This is told as a story to another young pilot, who then says he can't wait to tell his dad all about it, leaving the old guard officers who told the story to shake their heads in dismay. This seems to imply that the filmmakers thought the film would have no effect on its intended audience! Veddy British.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Beneath the 12-Mile Reef (Stills) (film #14 on SabuCat Movie Trailers). [Category: Commercial]

Watch the other trailer for Beneath the 12-Mile Reef first. This one will make you appreciate the first one’s Cinemascope underwater vistas, as it only has cheap-looking illustrations of underwater vistas, not even actual stills from the film! The 14-year-old boy in all of us will snicker at the trailer’s claim of “The Most Awesome Underwater Climax Ever Filmed!” Cheesy and therefore fun.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

The Black Rocks of Chorazim (film #1 in the Rural Settlement and Security section of the State of Israel section of Stephen Spielberg Jewish Film Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

This early 60s film documents the building of an Israeli settlement on a site that once held an ancient civilization. It’s narrated in Hebrew, so it’s a little difficult to follow, but it seems to cover the same ground of most films of this type: hard work, bringing forth new life from the desert, and ending with a celebration. A fairly typical Spielberg Archive film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.

The Essence of It All (film #9 in the Health section of the State of Israel section of Stephen Spielberg Jewish Film Archive). [Category: Public Service]

This 60s film documents the work of the Hadassah Medical Center in Jerusalem, a huge hospital serving patients of many nationalities and cultures. This is told very idealistically and touchingly as a story of people helping people. The film has a very Jewish feel to it, using a variety of Jewish narrators and regularly invoking religious ideals. It could have been maudlin, but apart from a section on handlicapped children which is hard to watch by today’s standards (a toddler who is paralyzed from the waist down is referred to as “half a baby”––this gives you an idea of the tone of this section), it’s actually quite touching and not overdone. The multicultural content of the film is ahead of its time, giving the film a lot of historical interest.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

The Flying House (film #10 on Animation Legend Winsor McCay DVD (Lumivision, 1997)). [Category: Hollywood]

A woman, after eating too much rarebit, dreams her husband put a huge gasoline engine in the attic and transforms their house into a flying machine. They fly all over and have lots of strange adventures, including blocking a smokestack, destroying a dome, being attacked by an outer space giant while attempting to land on the moon (the giant is much bigger than the moon––now that's some giant!) and having the house destroyed by a rocket shot out of a giant space gun. Winsor McCay does it again––this is beautifully animated and lots of fun to watch, combining a great script with beautifully-drawn imagery, especially the backgrounds. Highly recommended.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

The Alien (Audio Commentary) (extra on Monster Kid Home Movies DVD (PPS Group, 2005)). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

The commentary track for this second film called The Alien features the filmmaker giving us some idea of the process he went through to make the film, including the fact that it had a total of three actors (so there was really only one fat guy––this was not obvious in the original film) and that he actually played one of the victims as well as the alien at one point. This actually makes the film seem a little bit more impressive, though the commentary is also quite funny as well.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Early Films Whose Titles Make Them Sound Pornographic, but They Aren't

• Airy Fairy Lillian Tries on Her New Corsets
  
• Aunt Sallie’s Wonderful Bustle
  
• The Bangville Police
  
• The Dandy Fifth
  
• Discharging a Whitehead Torpedo
  
• The Doctor’s Secret
  
• The Exploits of Elaine
  
• Fat and Lean Wrestling Match
  
• Fatty’s Spooning Day
  
• Fatty’s Suitless Day
  
• Foxy Grandpa and Polly in a Little Hilarity
  
• Freight Train Fun in Camp
  
• A Frontier Flirtation
  
• Fun in a Bakery Shop
  
• The Gay Shoe Clerk
  
• A Gesture in Hester Street
  
• A Girl’s Folly
  
• Going Through the Tunnel
  
• Grandma and the Bad Boys
  
• Gussie’s Wayward Path
  
• The House with Closed Shutters
  
• How a French Nobleman Got a Wife Through the New York Herald Personal Columns
  
• How Jones Lost His Roll
  
• Interrupted Lovers
  
• Love in a Hammock
  
• Love, Loot and Crash
  
• Maude’s Naughty Little Brother
  
• The Messenger Boy’s Mistake
  
• The Old Maid Having Her Picture Taken
  
• The Stenographer’s Friend
  
• Tom Tinker’s Pony Patter
  
• Trapeze Disrobing Act
  
• Treloar and Miss Marshall, Prize Winners at the Physical Culture Show in Madison Square Garden
  
• What Happened in the Tunnel
  
• What Happened on Twenty-Third Street, New York City
  
• Why Mrs. Jones Got a Divorce
  
• The Widow and the Only Man
  
• Wife and Auto Trouble
  
• Women of the Ghetto Bathing
  

The Civil War (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #328 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

Straightforward, rather dry film on the Civil War made by Encyclopedia Britannica. Actually, this is a little bit better than you might expect given the low budget I’m sure they had to work with. Some attempt is made to get an emotional feel for the material. Mostly, though, this is the typical Civil War stuff you learned in school.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.

A Day in History: Telstar Brings World Closer (film #27 on Universal Newsreels). {Category: News]

Early 60s newsreel documenting the launching and testing of Telstar, the first communications satellite. This has great historical value, and is fun to watch as well, featuring animations of radio waves bouncing off the satellite, footage of it being built, and footage from the first satellite television broadcast. It also gives a fairly accurate prediction of such satellites encircling the earth, except for the part about it increasing international understanding.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Desperate Poaching Affray (film #30 on The Movies Begin, Volume Two: The European Pioneers (Kino Video, 1994)). [Category: Early Film & TV]

Cops chase some poachers. That's it, really, but it's one heckuva chase. The actors looked like they had way too much fun in the water sequence. Great title, eh? A 1903 Haggar and Sons film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.

Atom Test Nears (film #75 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

Newsreel excerpt from the late 40s reporting on sailors preparing for Operation Crossroads, another big atomic bomb test at sea. This mostly involves the narrator making light of airplanes crash landing on carriers. Preceding this is a collection of brief mentions of minor-league celebrities that probably few have heard of today, except, of course, Marlene Dietrich, who is in full flower here. An interesting, though brief, glimpse at the post-war period.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Drug Effects (film #7 on The Educational Archives, Vol. 7: More Sex & Drugs DVD (Fantoma, 2003)). [Category: Industrial]

This was part of a series of films for managers teaching them how to address drug problems among their employees. For some baffling reason, this was done with an animated film using Flintstones-like characters. The caveman professor gives another caveman marijuana in order to show us the effects of the drug; however, the depiction of said effects is broadly comic and grossly exaggerated. Nevertheless, the film ends with the professor showing the audience how this film fits into the overall series of films, saying, “Now you know all about drug effects.” That’s like saying a person would know all about Paleolithic humans from watching an episode of “The Flintstones.” A head-scratcher.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: -****. Overall Rating: ****.

Daffy the Commando (film #6 on Bugs & Daffy: The Wartime Cartoons (MGM/UA Home Video, 1989). Also, film #2 on Cartoon Scandals (Goodtimes, 1987). Also, film #7 on V for Victory WWII Cartoons & Shorts Show (Something Weird, 1996)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

You've probably seen this one a million times––it's a public domain Warner Brothers toon that is shown on tv all the time and appears on many video collections. Still, it's pretty funny. Daffy the Commando torments two Nazi eagles in his usual style. One Nazi eagle is a colonel and the other is a sergeant named Schultz––one wonders if "Hogan's Heroes" got the idea for its Nazi characters from this cartoon. Don't miss the great rotoscoped Hitler raving in outrageous faux German at the end.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Ain’t That Ducky (film #8 on Cartoon Classics, Vol. 12 DVD (Flashback Home Entertainment)). [Category: Hollywood]

Great Warner Bros. cartoon in which Daffy Duck contends with a mean little crying duckling and a wimpy hunter that was probably a precursor to Elmer Fudd. This has a lot of great gags, including a wonderful moment where Daffy chews out the animator for forgetting to draw a barrel he can hide in. This just reminds me that Warner Bros. toons were generally head and shoulders above the rest during the time they were made.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: *****.

The Blizzard (film #2 on the Picturing a Metropolis disc of Unseen Cinema DVD Boxed Set (Image Entertainment, 2005)). [Category: Early Film & TV]

Panorama of an 1899 New York blizzard. This has the real feel of a glimpse into another time, as well as an amusing element in a guy with a shovel who follows the panorama of the camera, so as to stay on film. A great piece of filmed history. An 1899 Biograph film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: *****.

Beneath the 12-Mile Reef (film #15 on SabuCat Movie Trailers). [Category: Commercial]

Slightly campy trailer for the 60s film, Beneath the 12-Mile Reef. This mainly touts the Cinemascope process in over-the-top pronouncements, like claiming it is “The Greatest Step Forward in the History of Entertainment!” Yeah, right, let’s just get to the movie we paid to see.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Fitting Faces (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #522 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Hollywood]

This Paramount short features Mary Jones, who completely ruins her beauty routine by donning a pair of eyeglasses. A makeup artist shows her how to choose frames according to face shape, leaving her with three new pairs of glasses that are almost identical to her old glasses. We also get to see some interesting industrial footage of optical lenses being made. An average featurette with an industrial feel.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Behind the Blockade (film #12 in the Pre-State section of Stephen Spielberg Jewish Film Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

This late 40s film documents the agricultural development of pre-state Israel by Jewish pioneers. This involved lots of hard work and the ever present threat of violence. It’s an interesting story, but it’s told rather dryly, with rousing narration that nevertheless fails to stir the passions. This has historical value, but it’s one of the less interesting films on the Spielberg Archive.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: **.

City Water Supply (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #325 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

Boring film that goes on and on about water access and water treatment in New York City. Leave it to Encyclopedia Britannica to make a dry film about water.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.

Drew Pearson Reports on Israel’s Living Desert (film #18 in the Rural Settlement and Security section of the State of Israel section of Stephen Spielberg Jewish Film Archive). [Category: Public Service]

In this 50s film, Drew Pearson reports on the problems of irrigation and how they were being solved in Israel. Mostly, though, the film is about the courage of the Israeli pioneers, many of whom were Holocaust survivors, and most of whom were refugees. The film is rather dry in spots, but very touching in others, particularly the interviews with the pioneers. Another historically interesting film about the history of Israel on the Spielberg archive.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

The Alien (film #13 on Monster Kid Home Movies DVD (PPS Group, 2005)). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

In another version of The Alien, a bug-eyed alien roams around a forest killing fat guys who live in trailers. Not only that, but its rampage also includes knocking over trashcans. One fat guy manages to get away in his car, but the fat guy who uses a gun on the alien is faked out. Credits are done in ballpoint pen on notebook paper. This truly has the feel of a kid’s production, and the fat guys in the trailers, who were probably the director’s neighbors look like they’re having a good time. I’m not sure how old the director was, but it looks like he saw plenty of scenes of dead people in the movies, considering the lingering shots of the alien’s victims in this production. As usual, this is lots of fun.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Cuba President in US (film #137 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: News]

Brief, poorly-preserved newsreel clip from the late 40s. The initial story is about a visit to the US by the president of pre-Castro Cuba. This is followed by a story about some sort of trial proceedings in Holland that is narrated entirely in German (or a language that sounds like German). It might be a war crimes proceeding, since they show some scenes of the concentration camp, but it’s not really clear. This is followed by a story about the Hiss-Chambers hearings. These stories all have only partial soundtracks, and despite the title cards, this feels like unedited raw footage, especially the Hiss-Chambers section. Which makes it more interesting than it might otherwise be.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Atom Sub: President Officiates at Laying of Keel (film #74 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

Early 50s newsreel documenting the keel-laying of the first atomic submarine, the Nautilus. This is fairly standard, but the narrator’s assertion that the sub is a “deadly weapon for war or peace” leaves you scratching your head. Also included are stories about a POW uprising in Korea, a new bomb targeting system, a transit strike in New York City, the Rose Parade in Oregon (including disturbing floats and a beauty queen taking a simulated bath on one float––all I could think of was the thorns! Ouch!), a British soccer match, and a rodeo in Oregon. This complete newsreel gives you a feeling of the contradictions of the early Cold War period, with disturbing war stories alternating with lighthearted entertainment. A great snapshot of the early 50s.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Desilu Screen Test excerpts (film #4 on TV Turkeys (Rhino, 1987)). [Category: Early Film & TV]

One of the great things about watching stuff from the early years of film and/or tv is watching them try all different kinds of things, searching for the formats that would work in the new medium. In the early 50s, they didn't know yet what show formats would rake in the ratings, so they tried all kinds of bizarre ideas. Somebody got the idea that people maybe wanted to watch screen tests, and so "Desilu Screen Test" was born. We get to see an unbearably cute 4-year-old do the kinds of stuff such little girls do at adult parties when their parents are showing them off. She smiles, curtsies, talks about her pets, sings "Oh, Dear, What Can the Matter Be?", etc. Then it gets weird––they have her do a scene from The Bad Seed, the infamous movie about an evil little girl. She delivers her lines surprisingly well for a 4-year-old, but blows it with her facial expressions––she seems to think being evil consists of having a grouchy expression on her face, which she has a hard time holding without cracking up. An interesting obscurity.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Drawing Account (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #458 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

This goofy Jam Handy film features a cartoon animator who meets a Chevrolet mechanical engineer on an airplane that totally lacks seatbelts. The animator manages to talk the engineer into helping make a cartoon in which a bunch of gremlins run a car engine. The engineer helpfully provides a cutaway engine model for the guys in the animation studio to look at. This results in a baffling scene in which the kooky animators brainstorm about the gremlins while the engineer gives boring lectures about how the car engine works, sneaking in sales messages about how great Chevrolet engines are while he’s at it. One animator, who looks like a Radford Baines wanna-be gets way too excited about making one of the imps into a Roman chariot driver: “We’ll make him a big, muscular guy with a whip!” he crows. Then we get to see a really interesting sequence on how cartoons are made, including how sound synchronization is done, something that was new to me. Then, of course, we get to see the finished cartoon, which is pretty silly. This is one of the goofiest industrial films I’ve ever seen, which makes it a great piece of ephemra. Termite Terrace these guys definitely ain’t!

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: *****.

D-Day Minus One (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #600 on Prelinger Archive. Also, film #2 on World War II, Vol. 8: D-Day, the Normandy Invasion (Madacy Video)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

The story of the paratroop and glider corps, who landed in France the day before D-Day and cleared the way for the invasion, is told with first person narration. It's actually a fairly compelling story, which impresses you with the bravery of the men involved. The footage is excellent, giving you a real feel for what it must have been like to be over there.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ***.

April Maze (film #9 on 11 Cartoons Starring Felix the Cat DVD (PC Treasures, 2005)). [Category: Hollywood]

This is an early sound Felix, and boy did sound have an impact. This seems way more creaky than the earlier silent Felixes, which are pretty lively. In this one, everything is turgid, probably for the purposes of sound synchronization, and even then, the sound doesn’t synch up very good. The cartoon is about Felix’s attempts to go on a picnic with his two kittens, and how they are repeatedly thwarted, first by an evil stormcloud, and then by a trickster rabbit. The turgidness of the proceedings gives the cartoon a dark, depressing feel, especially during the parts about the stormcloud. You don’t want to so much laugh as cry, making this a fascinating piece of ephemera.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: -****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: *****.

Fish from Hell (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #520 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Hollywood]

This is one of the all-time great ephemera titles and it doesn't disappoint, though to be more accurate, it should be called Narrators from Hell. Murky footage of deep-sea sport fishing is narrated by a guy whose religious mission is to convince us that fish are EVIL. The passion and logic of his arguments lay somewhere on the spectrum between circuit-riding revival preachers and psychotic cult leaders, and his delivery brings back scary memories for me of my dad listening to the Nebraska-Oklahoma football game and nearly blowing a gasket. The footage cooperates with the narrator's religious mission by mainly showing us various ways to kill sea life, including guns. The highlight of the film is the scene with the giant octopus––to the narrator, this creature is Satan himself and he responds accordingly. Even porpoises are dismissed as only being good for leather and oil, and sharks always bring out the most violent behavior possible in the fishermen––it's a good thing they didn't have access to nuclear weapons, or they would have most assuredly used them against every single shark they meet. If you haven't figured it out by now, this film is an environmentalist's nightmare. It's great ephemera, though––from HELL!!

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Annie Oakley – Justice Guns (film #6 on Disc #1 of Classic Kids’ Shows DVD (Genius Entertainment, 2004)). [Category: Early Film & TV]

In this episode of “Annie Oakley,” Annie has to help out an aging lawman who doesn’t realize he’s past his prime. This is a well-written story with a fair amount of suspense. It also has the original Canada Dry commercials in it, which liven things up a bit, being “ginger-uppers” and all.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

The Ape Trailer (extra on Night of the Blood Beast DVD (Sinister Cinema)). [Category: Commercial]

Fairly campy trailer for a classic old horror flick featuring Boris Karloff as “A Man Gone Mad!” and a man in a gorilla suit who terrorizes a town. The claim that the movie is a “Spine-Tingling Horror Drama” is a real hoot, as are the titles that shake with fear. Lots of fun creature feature stuff.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Beautiful Tel Aviv in Winter (film #12 in the Cities section of the State of Israel section of Stephen Spielberg Jewish Film Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

Silent Israeli color film from 1950 showing scenes of Tel Aviv. This goes on and on, and without a soundtrack, it gets pretty dull. It does provide you with a snapshot of Tel Aviv in 1950, which gives it some historical interest.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: **.

The Dream and the Deed (film #8 in the Health section of the State of Israel section of Stephen Spielberg Jewish Film Archive). [Category: Public Service]

This early-70s film documents the history of the Hadassah organization in bringing medical facilities to Israel. It starts way back in 1909, where a small clinic for mothers and babies was set up in Palestine to 1971, where many Hadassah-funded hospitals in Israel, particularly the huge Hebrew Medical Center on Mt. Scopus, practiced cutting-edge patient care and medical research. The film is narrated by a folksinger, who breaks into song periodically. This could have been unbelievably hokey, but in this film, it works; it actually carries the story along and makes things a bit more lively and less dry. A great source of information on the history of the Hadassah movement.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

The Alien (Audio Commentary) (extra on Monster Kid Home Movies (PPS Group, 2005)). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

Bob Burns, director of The Alien, uses the commentary track as an opportunity to narrate the silent film. Since he has lots of fun with this, including making fun of himself and the movie, it’s great. It also allows you to make a bit more sense of the film, as he includes what he was originally intending to portray during certain moments that were unclear in the original movie. The Alien is lots of fun on its own; this commentary track adds to the viewing experience.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Circus Day (film #7 on Clowns and Cavemen DVD (A/V Geeks). [Category: Educational]

This 60s film features a clown from a circus in a sports arena who narrates what it was like back in the old days of circus tents and circus trains. We see color footage of an old-time circus from the 40s, and get a real sense of what it was like back then to attend a circus under a tent. It’s rather pathetic, actually, involving out-of-tune band music, hay bales, tired-looking animals, and lots of sawdust. Still, this is a fascinating glimpse into a form of entertainment that doesn’t exist anymore. Of course, I have a hard time imagining even the 60s kids this was made for getting excited by this film, much less the kids of today.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Crowds in New York and Los Angeles (film #9 in the Apollo 11 section of WPA Film Library). [Category: News]

Silent footage of the Apollo 11 astronauts getting a ticker tape parade, commendations from the UN, and nifty plaques from President Nixon. This has some historical value, but it would have been better with sound.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.

The Atom Goes to Sea (film #3 on AV Geeks). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

Fairly dull film made by General Electric to document the creation of the first two atomic submarines, and to champion GE’s role in the development of one of them. In fact, the non-GE submarine, the Nautilus, was considered so unimportant that the section of the film devoted to it goes immediately from introducing it to showing it being christened, so that more time can be devoted to describing the development of the GE submarine, the Sea Wolf. A huge sphere is shown that had some important role or other in the development of the submarine’s engine; it isn’t really clear what, or maybe I just wasn’t paying attention, which gives you an idea of how much interest this film stimulates in its subject matter.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.

Down the Gasoline Trail (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #457 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

This cute animated Jam Handy film for GM shows the journey of a gasoline drop down the fuel line to the engine, where it is vaporized, turning it into an angel which flies out of the exhaust pipe. I won’t touch with a ten-foot pole the theological issues involved here. I’ll just say that this is a fun film with a great “Mr. Product” character. Remember, folks, every time you drive, angels are flying out of your exhaust pipe. Or at least they did in the days before catalytic converters.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

The Derby (film #16 on The Movies Begin, Volume Two: The European Pioneers (Kino Video, 1994)). [Category: Early Film & TV]

Trackside view of a horse race. Even the restoration efforts of The Movies Begin people couldn't cut the graininess of this one. An 1896 R. W. Paul film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.

Another Fine Mess (film #11 on Laurel & Hardy DVD (Hallmark Entertainment, 2003)). [Category: Hollywood]

Laurel and Hardy get into a complicated scrape after ducking into the cellar of a rich man’s house to avoid police and getting locked in. They eventually end up posing as the owner of the house (Ollie), and the butler/maid (Stan, alternating), showing the house to prospective renters. Things get even more complicated when the real owner of the house shows up. This is a very funny short, with a plot that just keeps getting more and more absurd. Stan in drag is a real hoot, and you get to see where Monty Python got the pantomime horse riding a tandem bike gag from. This truly is a fine mess.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: *****.

Annabelle Serpentine Dance #4 (film #8 on the Viva la Dance disc of Unseen Cinema DVD Boxed Set (Image Entertainment, 2005)). [Category: Early Film & TV]

Why they called this “#4” when there is another “Annabelle Serpentine Dance #4” on the disc I have no idea. This one is beautifully hand-colored, with constantly shifting bright colors on the skirts. Annabelle should watch out for the skirts dropping over her head, though. An 1897 Edison film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Bells of Coronado (film #13 on SabuCat Movie Trailers). [Category: Commercial]

Not a sequel to Bells of Capistrano, this western is in color and features Roy Rogers. It also features an up-to-the-minute atomic plot about bad guys who steal some radioactive “atomic ore.” This is mildly silly, but mostly it’s pretty ordinary.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Curiosity Killed a Cat (track #2 on Americans in War (NFV, 1990)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

G.I.s Goofus and Gallant wander around battlefield Europe, Goofus constantly poking his nose into everything he finds, and Gallant constantly shouting at him to stop fiddling with everything, for Chrissakes! Designed to teach soldiers that unexploded shells, dead bodies, and the like are dangerous and should be left alone. Know-it-all Gallant is at least as annoying as dim-witted Goofus, though.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ***.

Banim Bonim (film #2 in the Pre-State section of Stephen Spielberg Jewish Film Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

This silent film from the 20s gives a detailed portrait of the early Zionist pioneers to came to Palestine to take the first steps to build a Jewish homeland there. The film shows a group of pioneers arriving in Palestine, touring the country, and then getting on with the hard work of pioneering, mostly involving agricultural work and building construction. This has a great deal of historical value, as it’s very detailed, but it tends to drag after awhile, as it goes on and on and on. Still, this is a valuable film, so it’s good that it was preserved.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

The Door on 69th Street (film #13 in the General section of the State of Israel section of Stephen Spielberg Jewish Film Archive). [Category: Public Service]

This early-60s film documents the role of the American Jewish National Fund in the development of Israel, particularly in terms of land reclamation. This has historical value, as it goes into a great deal of detail on all the various bureaucratic things that had to be done to get Israel started and keep it going. But it’s pretty boring to watch, as it’s very self-congratulatory and insists upon mentioning every last famous person who helped them over the years. For persons researching the history of the modern state of Israel, this film has some value; others will probably find it a snoozer.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: **.

The Alien (film #1 on Monster Kid Home Movies DVD (PPS Group, 2005)). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

The Monster Kid Home Movies DVD contains amateur sci-fi and horror films made by kids during the 50s, 60s, 70s, and 80s. This 50s film features a teenaged mad scientist who invents a device that he uses to bring a space alien with a plastic forehead to Earth. The alien is a benign presence who is able to perform various kinds of magical tricks, and the scientist takes him for a walk around the neighborhood, where he performs various amazing feats. Then the scientist sends the alien back to where he came from, but the alien ends up erasing all the scientist’s notes, so no one will ever believe him, poor schmoe. This is a really charming film that is really well done for an amateur film. The story is told very well, making good use of the silent genre. I especially like the opening and closing credits and the title cards––they are beautifully designed. Shows what a little passion and ingenuity can do when the budget is almost non-existent.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Craig Breedlove and the Spirit of America (film #7 in the Featured Clip Archive section of WPA Film Library). [Category: News]

Silent footage of Craig Breedlove breaking the land speed record in 1965 in his specially-outfitted rocket car, The Spirit of America. This has historical interest for racing fans, but no surprises.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.

Atom Fallout: New Tests Begin as Safety Debate Rages (film #73 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

50s newsreel reporting the latest round of nuclear tests in Nevada. We get to see a spectacular nuclear explosion and, despite the narrated concerns about fallout, lots of folks watching the blast wearing those eye-protecting glasses. Also included is a story about one of the last Navy sailing ships. This is pretty standard, but it has lots of historical interest.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Dow Midland (film #458 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

This 50s industrial film, made by Dow Chemical, is missing its soundtrack. Even without sound, it’s pretty obvious that its message is Dow chemicals are everywhere. Lots of great visual imagery is here, including factory footage, containers of various kinds of dangerous chemicals, guys in lab coats doing experiments surrounded by bubbling beakers, and a guy in the plastics department mixing chemicals in 50s kitchen mixers, resulting in mixtures that resemble cake batter. Without the soundtrack, the viewer can feel free to add his or her own commentary, inferring stuff that is lots worse than what was probably said (though who knows?), or perhaps better, but what fun is that?

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **** (mainly for the possibilities). Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

The First Circus (film #7 on Origins of American Animation). [Category: Hollywood]

This is actually two short vignettes of early-20s silhouette animation. In the first one, two chimps discover a bottle of liquor. Just as it threatens to turn into a bizarre combination of The Gods Must Be Crazy and 2001: A Space Odyssey, the alpha male shows up and steals it from them. Typical. The second vignette features a caveman’s version of a circus, the highlight being a high-wire act involving a brontosaurus and a snake. These vignettes are mildly charming and fun to watch. This film is notable for being the first downloaded silent film I’ve run across that includes a musical soundtrack. As usual for the films on the American Memory sites, this film is very well-preserved and beautifully digitized, looking just as good on my tv screen as on a computer screen.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Alice’s Wonderland (film #1 on Disc #1 of Disney Rarities DVD (Disney, 2005)). [Category: Hollywood]

This first of the “Alice” shorts features Alice visiting a cartoon studio. There she views wonders such as an animated mouse tormenting a real cat, and a boxing match between a cat and a dog (though what’s in the box marked “DANGER”?). This is by far the best part of the cartoon. Then, later that night, she goes to sleep and dreams a cartoon train takes her to Cartoonland, where she is given a warm welcome by all the cartoon animals. Everything goes well until the lions get loose. This is a lot of fun, very “tooney”, and a good introduction to the “Alice” series.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Annabelle Serpentine Dance #4 (film #6 on the Viva la Dance disc of Unseen Cinema DVD Boxed Set (Image Entertainment, 2005)). [Category: Early Film & TV]

More hand-colored twirling skirts. The red portion is striking. An 1897 Edison film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Bells of Capistrano (film #12 on SabuCat Movie Trailers). [Category: Commercial]

Fairly standard trailer for the musical Gene Autry western The Bells of Capistrano. Apart from the nicknames given to the sidekicks and the assertion that this is “The Greatest Show on Earth” (wonder what Barnum & Bailey’s lawyers thought of that one?), this is ordinary.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.

Cindy Goes to a Party (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #319 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

Tomboy Cindy is bummed out because she wasn’t invited to her friend Mary’s birthday party, presumably because of her tomboyish ways. Fortunately, her fairy godmother comes and saves the day, mostly by waving her magic wand to make rules of party etiquette appear in the air in front of her. Cindy and her friend Dennis (who is also afflicted with the same psychosis, even seeing the fairy godmother in a print of Whistler’s Mother) have fun at the party by being good little conformists and following all the fairy godmother’s rules. However, when Cindy begins to anticipate what the fairy godmother will say (which is not too difficult as her rules are incredibly obvious and elementary––“Don’t break things” is an example), the godmother slides into a fit of depressed uselessness, saying, “You don’t need me anymore!”, which is a cue for Cindy and Dennis to emotionally rescue her by insisting that they do too need her, and generally shoring up her fragile ego. So they are also learning the habits of codependence at an early age as well. As you might guess from the description, this film is incredibly campy and has a great deal of entertainment value. I always say you can’t go wrong with supernatural visitors, especially neurotic ones.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: *****.

Ashdod (film #10 in the Cities section of the State of Israel section of Stephen Spielberg Jewish Film Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

This early-60s Israeli film documents the building of Ashdod, a city that was built in the desert to house refugees. Mostly, it’s about the refugees themselves, and what it’s like to come to a newly-built city and try to build a new life for yourself there. It ends up giving you a real sense of what it’s like to be a refugee, with both the hardships and the hopes. There is something touching about the style in which the film is made that stimulates empathy in the viewer. Most of the films on the Spielberg archive have a lot of historical interest; this one is one of the more interesting to actually watch.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

The Adventures of Superman – Stamp Day for Superman (film #2 on Disc #2 of Classic Kids’ Shows DVD (Genius Entertainment, 2004)). [Category: Public Service]

This episode of “The Adventures of Superman” was actually a film for kids where Superman encourages all of them to buy U.S. Savings Stamps at school. Of course, he has to rescue that ditzy Lois Lane from a jewel thief who wants to kill her, too. This is all the dorky fun of a “Superman” episode, plus lots of pitching for savings stamps shoehorned in to things. My favorite shoehorn moment is where one of the jewel thieves confesses to Superman that he got involved with crime because he never learned how to save his money (like with savings bonds, maybe?). And Perry White has a great cranky moment. This probably went over well with its intended audience, assuming that they had any money to spend.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Air Head Videos 4 (film #305 on Open Source Movies). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

These Stupid Lego Tricks are starting to grow on me. This one features a minifig getting slimed by Silly Putty, an exploding Lego computer, footage from a Lego security camera, and some bizarre experiments with electricity. The animator created a fun logo for the end of the film. OK, enough test footage, now how about actually making a film with a plot?

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.

Cosmos Pioneer: Soviets Orbit Man in Space (film #136 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: News]

This doesn’t even have any stock footage or plastic globes, just President Kennedy telling us that while he doesn’t see the Soviet lead in space to be a threat to national security, he does see a threat in the Soviet arms buildup. Nothing much here that we don’t know already.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

At the Summit (film #71 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

50s newsreel about world leaders arriving in Geneva for a round of peace talks. Also reported are a plane crash in Chicago, a Russian-American agricultural exchange, and the Miss Universe pageant. The beauty contest footage is fairly objectifying, as usual, but otherwise this is just a standard 50s newsreel with no surprises.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.

Decoyed (film #26 on The Origins of Cinema, Volume 6: Rare Films (Video Yesteryear, 1997)). [Category: Early Film & TV]

I couldn't really make out the plot of this one. It has something to do with a woman, who may or may not have been kidnapped, being forced to beg on the street for the benefit of a very abusive character who has her under his sway, and how she gets another guy to come to her aid. Nothing seems to be resolved, though. Confusing and rather upsetting.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: **.

Dollar Store (film #450 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

Silent film footage from the 60s of a woman in a retail store examining the merchandise. This looks like it’s from a dime store of the period, but everything looks so dreary, you can hardly tell it apart from a thrift store. It ends with a number of different close-ups of fishing tackle. It’s hard to know what the purpose of this was––everything looks so dreary and cheap, it’s hard to buy it was for advertising purposes. It certainly doesn’t make me want to buy anything.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Alice’s Wild West Show (film #2 on Disc #1 of Disney Rarities DVD (Disney, 2005)). [Category: Hollywood]

Alice holds a Wild West Show for the neighborhood kids, and the initial scenes of all the handmade props and signs are great. Her cast runs out on her when a rough gang arrives to break up the show, leaving Alice all alone to entertain the crowd with tall tales about the Wild West, which we get to see through the magic of animation. This doesn’t prevent the tough gang from breaking up the show, though Alice gets the last laugh, as well as a couple of teeth knocked out. I like these Alice shorts better when they spent some live-action time setting up a situation, rather than making them just cartoons with Alice making a few appearances. They usually have wonderful little moments in them, such as the lemonade stand in this one that would make the health department have a heart attack. I want the signs in this one for the Film Ephemera Museum of Quirky Devices.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Andy’s Gang – The Man Eater of Jog (film #1 on Disc #1 of Classic Kids’ Shows DVD (Genius Entertainment, 2004)). [Category: Early Film & TV]

OK, folks, I’ve been waiting to see a full episode of this show after being exposed briefly to the thoroughly evil Froggy the Gremlin on the TVParty website. This does not disappoint. “Andy’s Gang” was a disturbing, dark corner of Kidvidland, a place to banish bad kids. The story feature, about a man-eating tiger hunt in India, is pretty much standard adventure fare, though the half-naked main character and his assistant have a relationship that is ripe for msting, and the scene of the elephant trampling the tiger is mildly disturbing. But never mind that, it’s the scenes with Andy that will make you cringe. Worst is the segment featuring a cat and a gerbil who are dressed in some sort of animatronic costumes and forced to perform as a Spanish dancer and guitarist, respectively. At least, this must have caused the animals psychological damage, if not actual pain, though they both look like they’re heavily drugged. Of course, this is all just a warmup to prepare kids for the thoroughly evil and anarchic Froggy the Gremlin. Actually, seeing Froggy get his digs in on Andy is fairly cathartic after the animal abuse business, making me think that Froggy must have been channeling the animal spirits to perform acts of revenge. The kids in the audience look about as real as the little old lady audience that would occasionally appear on “Monty Python’s Flying Circus,” though, so that’s reassuring. I don’t even want to think about how this affected the viewers at home, though.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: *****+. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: *****.

Beast of the Yellow Night Trailer (extra on Beast of the Yellow Night DVD (RetroMedia Entertainment)). [Category: Commercial]

Lurid trailer for a cheap 70s horror flick. Lots of blood and lurid claims in a yellow typeface. This is not quite campy enough to be very much fun, though the ending advice to “see it with someone you trust” is mildly amusing.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

As Long as I Live (film #9 in the General section of the State of Israel section of Stephen Spielberg Jewish Film Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

This Israeli film from the 60s gives the viewer an overview of Jewish religious practices as they are done in Israel, particularly observance of the Sabbath, Passover, and Chanukah. This makes it a good example of an outsider film that tries to educate the public about the practices of the outsider group. If you’re curious about the Jewish religion, this is the film for you. It particularly highlights practices that celebrate the freedom of Jews to practice their religion at all, reminding us of the long history of oppression they have had to deal with.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Doctor in the Desert (film #4 in the Health section of the State of Israel section of Stephen Spielberg Jewish Film Archive). [Category: Public Service]

This Israeli film from the 60s documents the bringing of modern Western medicine to the Bedouin tribal people of the Negev desert. This is straightforwardly and rather starkly told, with lots of fascinating images of the Bedouin’s way of life. Western medicine is portrayed as vastly superior in all ways to any traditional health practices these people may have had. More interesting is a segment on a Bedouin medical student who has to deal with cultural clash. This is shown poignantly at the end of the film, where he gets off the bus after a day of classes dressed in Western garb and puts on his Arab headdress before walking home. This has historical and multicultural interest.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Aerial View of Sixth Ave. Train at 28th, 26th, 24th (film #19 on the Picturing a Metropolis disc of Unseen Cinema DVD Boxed Set (Image Entertainment, 2005)). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

Brief aerial view from the 20s of a New York City elevated train. This is very well-preserved, and thus has historical interest.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Chet Huntley Retired (film #34 in the 1969 section of TVParty). [Category: News]

This is the final goodbye Chet Huntley said to David Brinkley and all the viewers at home when he retired from the NBC Nightly News. This is a genuinely historic and touching moment in the history of TV news. Huntley’s prediction that there will be more good news to report “if we work at it” still has relevance today.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

At Sea (film #70 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

Brief newsreel story from the 50s about the nuclear submarine Skipjack. Typical submarine footage of submersions and a guy looking through that thing on submarines that you look through. Pretty standard.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.

Conquer by the Clock (In the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #370 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

Strident WWII propaganda film that warns war workers of the danger of slacking off, even for a second. Occasional periods of R & R are shown to have dire consequences for the soldiers fighting the war. I guess they hadn’t heard of the concept of burnout yet. This makes the film pretty campy. A quintessential propaganda piece with some striking modernistic visuals.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Diesel Story (film #438 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

This rather dry film, sponsored by Shell Oil, tells the story of the development of the diesel engine. Lots of engines are shown, and they way that they work is described in detail. If you’ve ever wondered just what “fuel injection” is, then this is your movie. The dry scenes of internal combustion are broken up in the middle of the film by footage from a German movie about the life of Rudolf Diesel––we get to see the dramatic moment when the engine finally works! Then it’s back to more boring mechanical diagrams. Still, this could have been a lot more tedious than it is, if only by being longer. And the opening and closing credits are wonderfully designed, adding to the interest of the film. Grease monkeys should enjoy this, others will find it to be a 3-star film if ever there was one.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Alice’s Mysterious Mystery (film #6 on Disc #1 of Disney Rarities DVD (Disney, 2005)). [Category: Hollywood]

This is the film that blew the lid off the whole “secret ingredient” in sausages conspiracy. Or, maybe not. Alice foils an evil cat who runs a dogmeat sausage factory, featuring a doggie death row where a dog priest prays over the hapless victims before they are turned into dogs of the hot variety. Dog lovers may find this a bit upsetting, though the evil cat gets his in the end. The beginning features some great cartoon vehicles.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Biology (film #6 in the Schools section of TVArk). [Category: Educational]

Fairly cool opening credits for a British educational science program, featuring Pink Floyd’s “Time” as the music. I wonder if weird correlations could have been made had they replaced the entire program’s soundtrack with the rest of the album.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Annabelle Serpentine Dance #1 (film #5 on the Viva la Dance disc of Unseen Cinema DVD Boxed Set (Image Entertainment, 2005)). [Category: Early Film & TV]

Annabelle’s at it again, this time dancing in an incredibly twirly skirt, making her the idol of little girls everywhere. This one is beautifully hand-colored, making it fun to watch, though short. An 1894 Edison film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Beast of Blood Trailer (extra on Beast of Blood DVD (Image Entertainment, 2002). Also, extra on Brain of Blood DVD (Image Entertainment, 2002. Also, extra on Brides of Blood DVD (Image Entertainment, 2002). Also, extra on Mad Doctor of Blood Island DVD (Image Entertainment, 2002)). [Category: Commercial]

Very campy trailer for an incredibly cheap 70s horror flick, featuring a guy in a rubber mask killing guys on a ship, a mad scientist doing hideous experiments with the deadly chemical chlorophyll (so that’s what happened to all those 50s folks who used chlorophyll toothpaste!), cardboard sets, disembodied screaming voices, lurid titles, and One Way to Get Ahead. This ranks with the best cheesy 50s horror films, except it’s in lurid color and a little bit bloodier. Loads of fun.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: *****.

The Arava Is My Home (film #11 in the Rural Settlement and Security section of the State of Israel section of Stephen Spielberg Jewish Film Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

This early-70s Israeli film shows us what it was like to develop and live on a desert kibbutz. A man who lives on a kibbutz in the Arava desert area narrates the film, telling us about the hardships he and the early pioneers went through to build their desert home, including crop failure, flash floods, terrorist attacks, and the omnipresent heat. Eventually, though, they are successful in building a viable agricultural settlement, including homes with modern conveniences, such as running water and electricity. This is a valuable historical document of the development of the kibbutz way of life in Israel. It’s straightforwardly told, with few surprises, but the story is pretty interesting nonetheless.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

And Still They Come (film #8 in the Immigration and Absorption section of the State of Israel section of Stephen Spielberg Jewish Film Archive). [Category: Public Service]

This early-60s film documents the work of the Youth Allyah in Israel, a program that rehabilitated and resettled displaced and orphaned Jewish children and adolescents. Most of these young people had been traumatized; many came from chaotic backgrounds of homelessness or poverty. Rehabilitation through education, creative work, agricultural work, physical training, and vocational training is shown. This is a very hopeful and optimistic public service film, showing young people who have survived horrors being placed in a nurturing environment and allowed to grow. The story of artist and Holocaust survivor Yehuda Bakon frames the larger story, and we get a chance to see his compelling artwork that documents both the horrors he survived and his healing process. Unfortunately, the copy of the film in the Spielberg Archive is dark and hard to see. Still, this is a compelling film that is worth watching.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Abstract Movies (film #27 on the Light Rhythms disc of Unseen Cinema DVD Boxed Set (Image Entertainment, 2005)). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

A collection of short experimental films made by abstract painter George Morris. These start out as simple pans and zooms of his paintings, but go on to fairly mesmerizing experiments in stop-motion animation, cut-paper puppetry, and bizarre shots of body parts. I particularly like the framed heads and the sparkly hand that makes stars. A visually interesting film collage.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Fiesta Soundie (film #509 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Hollywood]

This peppy soundie has Mexican stereotypes aplenty, as well as hot Latin rhythms. It tells the musical story of the love of a codependent wife for her worthless husband Pancho. It's all rather silly, but it's got rhythm.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.

Cosmonaut: Russian Orbits Globe 17 Times (film #135 on Universal Newsreels).[Category: News]

Early 60s newsreel story about a Russian cosmonaut’s circling of the earth, back when the Russians were kicking our butts in the space program. There’s some campy scenes of distressed-looking Americans peering at lurid newspaper headlines about the spaceflight. Then, because the Russians kept everything top secret, we get to see stock footage of what the flight might have, but probably didn’t, look like, culminating in a plastic globe spinning around with a satellite connected to a wire to represent the spacecraft. They might as well have mined the Universal vaults for the old logo with the biplane. Pretty silly for what was supposed to be a straight newsreel.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

As Always, Hadassah (film #2 in the Health section of the State of Israel section of Stephen Spielberg Jewish Film Archive). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

This early-70s film documents the efforts of the medical staff and volunteers of the Hadassah Mt. Scopus hospital in Jerusalem to treat and rehabilitate wounded soldiers and civilians of the Yom Kippur War. It’s a fairly compelling story, but the stark, early-70s style of the film tends to make it drag a bit. Still, you get a real sense for the medical practices of that time and place, as well as what it was like to try to provide medical treatment in wartime conditions.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Dial Comes to Town (film #433 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

If you’re watching ephemeral films in order to laugh at dorky innocent people from the past, then this is your film. Gramps is all up in arms because there’s talk that they’re gonna install them there phones with dials on ‘em! Fortunately, the rest of the family is a little more on the early adapter side, so they take him to a long meeting about dial phones, where they explain way more than you want to know about how they installed them. Then you get to the meat of the film, where a pretty lady laboriously shows us how to make a call on a dial phone, using enough repetition that even the lower-1Q folks like Gramps get it. She uses a huge telephone dial as a visual aid, which definitely has my name on it for the Film Ephemera Museum of Quirky Devices (I called it first!). This is a highly entertaining film, with a great opening featuring a stop-motion animated dial that installs itself on a telephone. This is definitely one to have in your collection.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: *****.

Choosing for Happiness (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #318 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

College girl Mary narrates this film about her friend Eve, and why, despite Eve’s good looks, she hasn’t found a husband yet. It turns out that Eve is as controlling as all get out, throwing a snit fit whenever a boyfriend fails to do exactly as she orders. The message here is that you can’t change other people, you can only change yourself. It’s a sound message, as far as that goes, except that you don’t get the feeling that young men during the 50s were getting the same message from social guidance films. When you take into consideration the blatant sexism of the 50s, it’s disturbing to hear young women being encouraged to “take men as they come”––it seems to be more about subservience than about healthy relating, despite the fact that Eve’s controlling behavior is genuinely annoying, and the boyfriends are portrayed as decent sorts mostly. And the film is made in an annoyingly confusing style, with Mary narrating Eve’s story, when Eve really should be doing it herself. There are also bits of wacked-out dialogue that make you wonder what the writers could have been thinking, especially the scene with Eve and supernerd boyfriend Arthur the Math Major. This makes the film more confusing than it needs to be, and it makes me wonder how it went over with its intended audience.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Alice’s Egg Plant (film #4 on Disc #1 of Disney Rarities DVD (Disney, 2005)). [Category: Hollywood]

Alice runs a poultry farm in this cartoon, and she learns that the solution to labor-management problems is to hold a cockfight. I’m serious. This gets awfully close to being capitalist propaganda, except all the eggs are lost in the end. Phew!

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

A Day in the Life of a Coalminer (track #8 on The Movies Begin, Volume Three: Experimentation and Discovery (Kino Video, 1994)). [Category: Early Film & TV]

This fascinating film is probably one of the first documentaries ever made, showing us the real work of real turn-of-the-century coalminers. There are many unforgetable images here of men being squeezed like sardines into tiny elevators, men working in dark, cavelike corridors hundreds of feet underneath the ground and looking like they never get a chance to stand upright all day, men getting paid a small handful of coins for their labors. But what's really striking is the women. Yes, there are dozens of women in this mine doing such "women's work" as loading huge logs onto handcarts, hunching over a conveyor belt sorting coal, and standing on top of coal hoppers poking the coal with pitchforks. The classist ending will disgust you, or you have a heart of stone, I'll warrant. A fascinating historical document of hard, dirty labor. A 1910 Kinetescope film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: *****.

Annabelle Butterfly Dance #3 (film #3 on the Viva la Dance disc of Unseen Cinema DVD Boxed Set (Image Entertainment, 2005)). [Category: Early Film & TV]

This is similar to Annabelle Butterfly Dance #1, except it was hand-colored. The shifting colors add even further to the charming, otherworldly quality of Annabelle’s dancing. An 1895 Edison film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Beast from Haunted Cave (extra on Journey Beneath the Desert DVD (Video Screams)). [Category: Commercial]

Campy, lurid trailer from the 50s sci-fi flick Beast from Haunted Cave. Features “4 men and a girl (a bad girl to boot!),” fistfights, crime, “a ski lift to the heights of terror,” and bad special effects. Lots of fun.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Arad (film #9 in the Cities section of the State of Israel section of Stephen Spielberg Jewish Film Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

Rather dry 60s film about the planning and building of a new town in the Israeli desert. The scenes of the new residents setting up housekeeping are mildly interesting, giving you a feel of what it must have been like to be an Israeli pioneer. But mostly this is rather dull.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Deadline for Danny (film #2 in the General section of the State of Israel section of Stephen Spielberg Jewish Film Archive). [Category: Public Service]

This 50s film, sponsored by the United Jewish Appeal, attempts to personalize the struggles of Israelis during the “austerity period,” when food shortages required everyone to conserve and struggle with not having enough. Danny, a young boy, is devastated to find out that his beloved cow, Elissa, is going to be slaughtered for meat because she is not giving milk. He goes all the way to Jerusalem by himself to try to get somebody from the government to give Elissa a reprieve, only to go through a frustrating round of bureaucrats ordering him to fill out forms in triplicate. He eventually is given a ride home by a man delivering fodder to farms, and he ends up witnessing a riot that starts when a village is given only 6 bushels of fodder when they need 14. After this, he gives up trying to save Elissa, but a miracle happens that allows the film to end happily. This is a very charming film that does generate empathy for the struggles of Israel’s pioneers. Its ending is a tad unrealistic, but it doesn’t really undercut the film’s message much, and since you end up identifying with Danny and Elissa, it’s a relief to see her saved in the end. The film has a great deal of historical value in documenting the early struggles of the people of Israel.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *** (mainly for the bureaucrat sequence). Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Abstract Experiment in Kodachrome (film #33 on the Viva la Dance disc of Unseen Cinema DVD Boxed Set (Image Entertainment, 2005)). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

Stop-motion animated film featuring moving abstract designs created with such things as children’s blocks, colored tiles, balls, and sheets of colored paper. Sort of like a film version of a mixed-media art piece. Since I’m into mixed-media, I enjoyed this very much. The colors and movement are delightful, and the music soundtrack adds to the total effect. This is the sort of thing I love to find on a collection of experimental films.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: *****.

Corruption in Local 2 (film #9 on Shaping San Francisco). [Category: News]

Brief TV news clip from the 70s of an interview with a union member complaining about dirty dealings in the union. This has some local historical value, but it’s too brief to be of much interest otherwise.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.

The Arsenal for D-Day (film #515 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

Newsreel story about all the masses of stuff that had to be made and collected for the D-Day invasions. If you’re interested in vintage WWII items, then this is your film. Also included is a story about England getting planes from Lend-Lease, which is pretty standard.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Composite (film #1 in the 0800046 Composite No. 1 section of DOE Nevada). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

Short montage of nuclear explosions blowin’ things up real good. This is more than the usual mushroom clouds––it also includes some striking imagery of buildings imploding, filmed from the inside. If it’s explosions you want for your video project, check this out.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.