The Grapevine (film #7 on The Educational Archives, Volume Four: On the Job (Fantoma, 2002)). [Catetgory: Industrial]

Mr. Stone, head of the accounting department, is frustrated because the "girls" (they are always referred to that way) in his department are constantly flying off the handle in response to wild rumours heard on the office grapevine. He wonders why they don't just ask him about stories they've heard, but he is totally clueless to the fact that when they do ask him about anything, he bites their heads off. Then, suddenly, we're in Centron-land––the film has a “What do you think?" ending. The sexism in this film is both blatant and subtle, which was typical of the time in which it was made.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Chinese Lion Dance, Marysville, California (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #1162 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Hollywood]

This is footage from a mid-1920s Chinese New Year celebration in Marysville, California, complete with dragon (though here, it's referred to as a lion) and lots of fireworks. A historically interesting slice of 20s immigrant life.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: **.

BBC1 Schools #1 (film #1 in the Schools section of TVArk). [Category: Educational]

Remember educational television? Remember the boring counters they used to have before the programs started? Here’s the British version of that, which is actually fairly mesmerizing. It features a diamond-shaped BBC logo that gradually morphs into two diamonds. I bet this fascinated the schoolkids of the time.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

The Avengers #4 (film #8 in the Cult section of TVArk). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

It’s 1966 and now “The Avengers” is IN COLOR! Well, I guess that’s one way to open a champagne bottle. Very cool.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Battleships Maine and Iowa (film #10 on Who Built America? (Voyager CD-ROM, 1993). [Category: Early Film & TV]

After the sinking of the battleship Maine, the Biograph company rereleased Edwin S. Porter's Panorama of War under this title. This is just a very brief clip of the film, with narration telling us the above fact. Since Panorama of War is also on the CD-ROM, this is kind of pointless. An 1898 Biograph film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: *.

Astor Battery on Parade (film #20 on Edison Film Archive. Also, film #12 on The Spanish-American War in Motion Pictures). [Category: Early Film & TV]

This is basically your standard military parade from the 1890s, meaning there are more horses and swords than are generally seen today. An 1899 Edison film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.

Let Us Break Bread Together (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #820 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

This 50s film documents an ambitious (for its time) project the public school system in New York City instituted to break down racism by pairing schools in racially homogenous neighborhoods with other such schools whose racial composition was different and having the students visit each others’ schools and work on group projects together. It’s an admirable idea, and it looks like the project itself was fairly successful, but the film is bizarrely directed and incredibly tedious. It starts with an interracial choir singing the African-American spiritual “Let Us Break Bread Together” verrrrrrry sloooowwwllly, and that sets you up for what’s to come. All speech in the film, including the narration and comments from participants in the program, is done in a very slow, measured cadence, with pauses after every two or three words. Instead of filming spontaneous responses to interview questions from the participants, all comments from the participants (this includes comments from children, parents, and teachers) were heavily scripted and recited by the participants in the same slow, measured cadence. The actual content of both the narration and the participants’ comments sounds like it was written with the assumption that all audience members for the film would be slightly mentally retarded, so everything would need to be explained very slowly and carefully, with lots of repetition. When speaking, the participants look like they were given large doses of Thorazine and were directed to read off of cue cards that had only two or three words written on each one. One woman keeps glancing in different directions, as if every cue card was shown to her from a different vantage point. The film ends with two of the children reciting in unison a poem that was written by one of the other participants in the program. They do this staring straight ahead at the camera and speaking very slowly and without a trace of emotion. After awhile, you begin to wonder if this project took place in the School System of the Living Dead, or perhaps aliens had stolen their souls. The narrator, for some reason, has a weird, pseudo-British accent, which just adds to the weirdness of the proceedings. It’s too bad, really, that the film was so poorly directed, because the project itself was very interesting and ambitious, and could have sparked a really fascinating film. As it is, despite its weirdness, it puts you to sleep.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Eisenhower for President (film #31 on Ephemeral Films CD-ROM (Voyager). Also in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #1818 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Commercial]

This is the delightful "I Like Ike" animated commercial of the 50's, produced by Roy Disney, Walt's brother. I may not particularly "like Ike", but I sure like this wonderful example of 50's cute animation. Probably the best campaign spot ever made, especially when compared with today's mudslinging.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Tomorrow's Children trailer (film #1 on Exploitation Mini-Classics, Vol. 1 (Sinister Cinema)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

Campy, hyperbolic trailer for Tomorrow's Children, a 30s exploitation movie about forced sterilization. Lots of fun.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Distant Drummer: Flowers of Darkness (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #442 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]

This late 60s film chronicles the worldwide opium trade and the contemporary problems of narcotic addiction in the United States. For the most part, this is intelligently done, though somewhat dry. Near the end, they talk about the shift in social attitudes from viewing addicts as criminals to viewing them as suffering an illness and how that has changed public policy. Unfortunately, that was not to last, and would be replaced by the strident, and ineffective, “War on Drugs.” This film provides a good historical record of drug policy during the 60s.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

How to Irritate People (Castle Communications). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

This episode of "The David Frost Show" features a pre-Python John Cleese narrating a treatise on "How to Irritate People"––a subject he is definitely an expert on. Graham Chapman and Michael Palin also appear, as well as Connie Booth (Polly on "Fawlty Towers"). The sketches are definitely proto-Python, allowing us to see how Python's lunacy evolved from more conventional sketch comedy. Early versions of the Pepperpots are here, as well as early versions of the Restaurant Sketch (the one with the dirty fork) and the Job Interview Sketch ("Good nigghhhhttttt...a ring-ding-ding-ding!!"). A highlight is a sketch with airline pilots who play some really terrible pranks on the passengers (and forget what I said about Up on Cloud Nine––this really is funny). Not quite as funny as real Monty Python, but Python fans will find this a quite interesting historical relic.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Apollo, Segment 6004 (in the Documentary section of Open Video Project). [Category: News]

More soundtrack woes. This one starts out with no film soundtrack at all––you just hear background noises. Then, about a third of the way through, the sound kicks in, but after only a few seconds it speeds up to Chipmunk speed again and continues that way till the end of the clip. One wonders if the next clip will feature the sound of the boss yelling at the digitizer. Stay tuned.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ****.

The Andy Griffith Show #2 (film #17 in the When Stars Did the Commercials section of TVParty). [Category: Commercial]

Andy gets a visit from Carol Channing, who helps him pitch Sanka coffee. This also has that staple of 60s commercials, the surprise switcheroo with “ordinary people”: “This is Sanka? Really??” This really brings back those 60s tv memories.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

The Avengers #3 (film #7 in the Cult section of TVArk). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

Now these are cool opening credits (for the 1965 series)! Also included is the opening scene of the episode “The Cybernauts,” which is genuinely exciting. This will bring back those 60s spy show memories.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Bigger and Better (film #1385 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

Silent color film footage from the 30s and 40s showing firefighters putting out various fires in the New York City area. Unfortunately, the film has been poorly digitized, with lots of pixelization, so it’s hard to see what’s happening, especially in the night scenes. Still, it’s kind of fun to see those big old firetrucks in glorious color.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.

All Together Now (film #3 on WWII Cartoons, Vol. 1 VCD (The Authentic History Center)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

Brief Disney toon in which the Seven Dwarves bring their diamonds into the bank and use them to buy War Bonds, singing all the while. There’s some historical interest here, in how the Disney characters were used for propaganda purposes, but not much else.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Assembling and Testing Turbines, Westinghouse Works.

A guy with a clipboard inspects a big steam-belching turbine. He finds many things to note on his clipboard. A slice of life from an early factory.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Booby Traps (film #10 on The Complete Uncensored Private SNAFU DVD (Image Entertainment, 1999)). Also, film #3 on Private S.N.A.F.U. (Rhino, 1992). Also, film #4 on V for Victory WWII Cartoons & Shorts Show (Something Weird, 1996)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

Warner Brothers made the Private Snafu cartoons for the army, to explain various important concepts to the GIs. Private Snafu was the Goofus of the army, who could be counted on to show what not to do. The cartoons definitely had the Warner Brothers stamp on them, which means they're pretty great. In this one, Snafu enters a zone recently vacated by the enemy and, despite warnings to keep his nose out of things, gets hoodwinked by various booby traps. Features one of the first appearances of the classic Warner Brothers exploding piano gag.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Dialogue with Life (film #436 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]

This 60s film touts the advances in medical science that have taken place during the previous 50 years or so. Actually, it sings the praises of medical technology, even at the expense of human relationship or bedside manner. It also sings the praises of health insurance. It ends by showing us the glory of a high-tech hospital birth, something that would be abandoned for routine pregnancies due to grass-roots efforts in only about 10 years. In its time, there was some justification for these attitudes, but looked at from today’s perspective it about makes you want to throw up. Still, it does give an interesting perspective on how health care got into the mess it’s in today. It drags a bit, though.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ***.

The Andy Griffith Show #1 (film #12 in the When Stars Did the Commercials section of TVParty). [Category: Commercial]

Commercial from “The Andy Griffith Show” where Andy does a magic trick of opening up an ear of corn to reveal that it is full of Post Toasties. I’m not sure that’s what I want to get my cereal from.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.