Beginning Responsibility: Taking Care of Things

Beginning Responsibility: Taking Care of Things. Grade-schooler Andy is a slacker in the taking-care-of-things department, so he suffers the humiliation of having to sharpen his pencil while everybody is looking at him, being called a “baby” by his classmates, and totally not impressing older kid Fred when he can’t find what he was going to show him. This is pretty painful for him, but since this is a Coronet film, it all ends happily when he does an abrupt about-face and starts putting things away and being more careful with stuff. And because this is a cheaply-made film, this is all told to us by a friendly female narrator than through dialogue. Maybe they left the soundtrack out in the yard; hope Dad can fix it. A charming early childhood educational film that would make good fodder for msting.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Beginning at Plymouth Colony

Beginning at Plymouth Colony. From the title, this 50s film sounds like it will be a dry historical film about the settlers at Plymouth Colony, but it’s actually another weapon in the war against Godless Communism. By showing us how the Plymouth settlers, as well as those at Jamestown, almost starved to death under a communal system of property, but prospered when private property was instituted, students learn that the American system of capitalism is the best in the world, and that any kind of socialism makes people lazy. I suppose there’s a lesson to be learned from the colonists’ failed experiments in communalism, but the film is so didactic and simplistic that it smacks of propaganda, and that undercuts its message, for me at least. It also has all the interest level of a boring history lecture, interrupted by brief episodes of silent reenactments and very limited animation. It does have historical interest in being a document of 1950s anticommunist fervor.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Autumn on the Farm

Autumn on the Farm. Farm kids Joan and Jerry have fun exploring the farm during the autumn in this 1940s EB film. They pick apples, grapes and nuts, watch their father harvest corn, and encounter various wild animals. No real surprises here, but the wild animal footage is mildly fun to watch.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Cute Animal Quotient: ***. Overall Rating: ***.

Before Saturn

Before Saturn. In this early 1960s NASA film, “Saturn” refers to not the planet, but the then-new series of rockets being created for space travel. Before Saturn, there was a whole history of idea and the practice of rocketry, which the film documents. It’s pretty interesting, actually, and not near as bombastic or MAN-focused as most NASA films of the period. You can’t help but think of the Saturn V, the rocket that would eventually take us to the moon, when they talk about Saturn the rocket series. Lots of historical Interest here.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

The Battle of Yorktown

The Battle of Yorktown. Americans win the final battle of the American Revolution with the help of George Washington, the French, and the magic of Encyclopedia Brittanica narration in this 50s educational film. Fans of historical battle reenactments might enjoy this; others will feel like they are back at school in American History class.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: **.

Bale Handling with No Hand Labor

Bale Handling with No Hand Labor. Hey! Or should I say, HAY!! Do you like hay? Do you like farm equipment? Do you like farm equipment that is made to handle, stack, and transport hale bales? Then you will LOVE this film, made by the Farmhand Company, because it is full it it (hay, I mean, plus hay baling equipment). Others, not so much so, perhaps, though the farm equipment is brightly colored, if that means something to you. Those from Grass Lodge, Montana will especially enjoy the footage of slippery barley straw.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.

Bacteria - Friend or Foe?

Bacteria — Friend or Foe?. I’d say, after watching this film, mostly friend, but there are a few that are impossible to get along with. This 50s educational film about the basics of bacteriology is made a lot more fun by three things. The first is Ted, a guy who has a job as a lab assistant despite knowing absolutely nothing about bacteria. His coworker Frank has to explain everything to him, and even then, he is easily overwhelmed, so much so that the narrator has to talk for him most of the time. The second is the geeky illustrations and animations of various kinds of bacteria, including a totally awesome petri dish chart that I simply must have for the Film Ephemera Museum of Quirky Devices. The third is the film’s attempt to have actors play Famous Bacteriologist from History, such as Leeuwenhoek, Pasteur and Koch. The actors try hard, but their silent performances invite msting, especially Leeuwenhoek. These three fun elements keep the film from being overly dry, which is good, because bacteria can’t flourish that way.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

American Square Dancing

American Square Dancing. Rather dry educational film in which clean 40s teenagers demonstrate square dancing moves. I would have liked to have seen the colorful costumes square dancers wear, but no, these kids are dressed like they’re going to math class. They look like they’re having very mild fun, but then, that’s what the adults making this film probably intended. The film on AV Geeks is silent for a few minutes at the beginning, but the sound kicks in eventually.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.

Auto Line Demo 1970s

Auto Line Demo 1970s. If you love big, gas guzzling 70s cars (plus a few little and slightly more fuel efficient models, like the Plymouth Cricket), then this collection of TV commercials is for you. Each commercial for a particular car model is paired with a commercial for a local dealer. There’s lots of fun stuff in these commercials, including a grizzled old prospector, an aging Arthur Godfrey, an outrageous faux Frenchman, and a diamond cutter who attempts to cut a diamond while being driven around New York City in a Mercury. A fun 70s flashback.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Argentina

Argentina. Standard geography film about the South American country of Argentina. There’s some historical interest here as you get to see tons of footage of what Argentina was like in 1961. Other than that, there’s mainly just lots of trivia about Argentina’s economy, though it’s presented in a way that’s not quite as dull as you might think.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *** (mostly for the “Can you spot the former Nazis?” angle of msting, which this film provides lots of opportunities for). Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Allen Is My Brother

Allen Is My Brother. A 50s housewife gets frustrated when her 3-year-old son, Allen, keeps getting into mischief, so she does what any good 50s housewife would do—she gets his big sister Karen to look after him. Karen doesn’t think much of this, but once Mommy explains that family members help each other, she cooperates and eventually has fun with her little brother. This is a very cute film that has that white-bread, Dick-and-Jane feel so often seen in films of the period. It takes place in 50s Sitcomland, where there are no problems bigger than a lost puppy, and children get into no worse mischief than squirting the hose on the laundry on the clothesline. This should bring back lots of memories for any baby boomers watching it.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Adventuring Pups

Adventuring Pups. Three beagle puppies (one named Trouble, and you know what that means) run away from their mother and get into various forms of mischief with other animals. This very cute children’s film gets by on the antics of cute animals, just like the Internet does. It’s missing the ending, so we never know if the puppies find their way home or not. The stuffed animals that watched this with me (including two little ragamuffins who know a lot about getting into mischief) are concerned about the puppies’ welfare. Let’s hope they made it home OK.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Cuteness: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Arabian Children

Arabian Children. This Encyclopedia Brittanica film shows us the lifestyle and customs of one Arab family. It’s portrayed pretty much without bias or commentary, just straightforwardly. Despite the desert setting, this is not nearly as “dry” a film as many EB films. It’s actually pretty interesting to watch a family of a different culture pursue its everyday life, while narration helps us understand what’s being done. This was probably a mild mind-expander to the schoolchildren it was shown to. Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ***.

Bethune

Bethune, Donald Brittain, provided by the National Film Board of Canada

Bethune. This film tells the story of Norman Bethune, a Canadian doctor who managed to beat the tuberculosis he came down with as a medical student, and go on to invent many new surgical tools and techniques. He had a passion for bringing medicine to where it was most needed, and that led him to go to Spain and create field hospitals for the Republican forces during the Spanish Civil War. There he created the first mobile blood bank. Eventually he grew disillusioned with the progress of the war, so he moved on to China, where he aided partisan forces led by Mao Zedong, who were then fighting the Japanese imperialist forces. He single-handedly created field hospitals out of the caves where the wounded were left to die. No matter how bad things got, he still operated on and treated the wounded with whatever was available. He eventually died of blood poisoning after cutting himself during a surgery that he had to do without gloves. Despite his obsessive tendencies towards his work, he was also a playful character who partied hard during his off hours, though this later went away in China because the conditions were so terrible and he was so overworked. The film was not shown in the U.S. for many years because of Bethune’s connection to Mao and his communist sympathies, even though he died before the People’s Republic ever happened. It’s a very powerful film about a fascinating human being, made more powerful by the narration containing quotes from Bethune’s many letters and diaries. I love this kind of historical documentary, so this was a joy to watch, though the sections on Bethune’s efforts to bring socialized medicine to Canada made me cringe, not because I’m against it, but because it was hard to watch Canadians treating this as history, and something that obviously had to be done, when it has yet to be done in my own country.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: *****+. Overall Rating: *****.

Airborne Magnetometer

Airborne Magnetometer. Turns out the bird really is the word. The “bird” refers to an airborne magnetometer, so nicknamed by the U.S. Geological Survey, which made this 1952 film. This device is towed by a plane and measures magnetic anomalies in the earth’s surface, which may indicate mineral deposits. And we all know what mineral deposits mean, don’t we? Mining of all kinds of valuable minerals, that’s what. The film is rather dry, since narration is the only thing on the soundtrack, but it does have lots of great visuals of various forms of clunky 50s technology, which I happen to be fond of. And it also lends itself well to msting, especially when you consider that one of the assigned crew is known as “The Observer”. This would also be a good film to mine for a video project.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ***.

Assignment - Shoot the Moon

Assignment: Shoot the Moon. What if you had to take a close-up picture of a caramel apple being held by a woman on a spinning carnival ride, while you were moving around on another ride? This is the metaphor shown in this 1967 NASA film for photographing the moon close-up, in order to plan for a landing site for a manned mission. This is less bombastic than most other NASA films, and it’s chock-full of information about the unmanned lunar probes that were sent before Apollo 11 to photograph the moon. It’s mostly pretty straightforward, with some interesting imagery, and lots of historical interest, as it was made just before Apollo 11, so you get an idea of what scientists were thinking on the eve of that historic mission.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ***.

Anatomy of a Triumph

Anatomy of a Triumph. It’s MAN again, discovering flight and conquering the skies! Will he never stop in his quest for manliness? This early 70s government film starts off bombastically, then settles down to document the history of flight from Kitty Hawk to Apollo 11. We get to see the usual wacky early films of failed attempts at flight at the beginning, which I always find amusing. Then it’s on to working airplanes, Lindbergh, World Wars I and II, and the first rockets, which were invented by Nazis. But who cares about that? This is about MAN’s conquest of space, by golly! The Russians have launched Sputnik, so now the race is on! We get to see more embarrassing footage of the U.S.’s first failed attempts at space flight, and then the final success of the Apollo II mission. Richard Nixon ends the film with congratulatory messages, the film being blissfully ignorant of his embarrassments to come.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Agriculture in Virginia

Agriculture in Virginia. Rural teenager Bud Wilson (Why does that name sound familiar to me? This name must have appeared in other educational films.) is planning on following in his farmer father’s footsteps, so he takes Ag 101 class in high school, but that’s not enough for his father, who has the county extension agent take him all over the state and explain how the state government supports agriculture in great detail. This is a pretty dry film, but there are some fun images of 50s farm products, as well as some coverage of home economics, complete with attractively-dressed 50s farm wives and colorful 50s grocery products. Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Accident Prevention Through Equipment Guarding

Accident Prevention Through Equipment Guarding. Guards, in this case, are not human, but refer to guard rails and metal cages used to prevent machines from killing or maiming their operators. This 1982 industrial safety film for miners teaches us the importance of guards and generally how to keep yourself safe around machines that could easily remover a finger or a limb or two if operated carelessly. It's mostly pretty dry, but it’s punctuated by staged accidents that are announced by dramatic music on the soundtrack. Oh no! There goes another one! Fortunately, the blood is kept to a minimum.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ****.

The Benefactor. This 1917 film may be one of the first biopics ever. The life of Thomas Edison is told in a lively and fun fashion for a 1917 silent film. We find out that he was an incredible prankster, extremely creative, and very hard-working. It all comes off like Edison sitting down with us and telling us stories of his youth, with the expected embellishments. General Electric added an ending where we see the real Edison accepting a Congressional Medal of Honor. Also of interest are scenes of 1917 cities being lit up by electric lights, which have an erie art deco feel to them, even though they predate art deco by some time. Lots of historical interest here.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Better Reading

Better Reading . Teenager Harold Wilson has a problem—he can’t read for (expletive deleted). So he has to spend all his free time studying ...