Buying Food (film #7 on AV Geeks. Also, film #10 on The Educational Archives, Vol. 8: Social Engineering 201 DVD (Fantoma, 2003)). [Category: Educational]
Straightforward Centron home ec film about getting the most from your food dollar. This is fun because it shows lots of 50s food products and 50s supermarkets. And just because it’s a home ec film, a genre I particularly enjoy. Also fun is the opening and closing theme music that sounds like Centron hired the organist at the local roller rink to do it. Beware of impulse buying, or you might end up like the bad example in this film, with a dinner consisting of oysters, rutabaga and stale cake.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Bowery Waltz (film #33 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]
A couple demonstrates a dance for us, said dance looking like either the dancers are participants in the last round of a dance marathon, or under the influence of alcohol. I suspect it’s the latter, and the title is meant to be a joke, but don’t quote me on that. An 1897 Edison film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
An Affair to Remember Trailer (extra on The Ghost and Mrs. Muir DVD (20th Century Fox)). [Category: Commercial]
Classy, well-made trailer for An Affair to Remember, starring Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr. These two stars are great fun to watch, so the trailer wisely lets the scenes speak for themselves with a minimum of commentary. It’s nice to see scenes from a good movie for a change.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
A Clever Dummy (film #43 in the Silent section of Movieflix). [Category: Early Film & TV]
A pair of mad scientists create an android version of Ben Turpin––now that's what I call mad! Unfortunately, the real Ben Turpin is also in the film and the expected havoc ensues when the two are confused. A mildly fun and wacky Keystone farce. A 1917 Keystone film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ****.
Adland: Opening, George Lois (film #9 on Media Burn Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
Opening of the film Adland, featuring singing McDonald’s hamburger puppets (you know how I feel about singing and dancing food, folks…), a Pontiac men’s choir, and commercial director George Lois, talking about what it’s all about for him. This makes me wish they had put up the whole film, rather than just excerpts from it.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Combat Bulletin No. 28 (film #2 on tape #4 of This Film Is Restricted Boxed Set (Marathon Music & Video, 1997)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
This one is pretty standard, with a few interesting moments here and there. In "Activities in European Theatre of Operations", we see fierce fighting in Holland. In "Glider Pick-Up at Eindhoven", all those gliders that were dropped on Holland in previous segments get picked up using a clever hooking device which allows a pick-up without the plane landing. In "Air Force Fighter Kills", we see aerial combat footage over Europe. In "Liberation of Greece", the Greeks enthusiastically welcome Allied troops and celebrate the defeat of the Nazis. In "Activities in Burma", we see Chinese doctors treating the wounded in a very makeshift jungle hospital, including some very graphic scenes of abdominal surgery (don't watch this one while you're eating, folks). In "The Naval Battle of the Phillipines", we see Navy combat footage from said battle, including lots of animated sequences detailing the strategy used.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Driver Fatigue (film #18 in the Public Info. Films section of TVArk). [Category: Public Service]
Straightforward British PSA warning drivers about falling asleep at the wheel on long car trips. Good thing, it’s short––I was starting to feel a little drowsy myself.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Accident at Crystal Café (film #21 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
Uhhh…something happens in a restaurant that seems to be on the deck of a ship in choppy waters. I think it may involve food poisoning. This brickfilm is so poorly lit and animated, and has such soft sound I really couldn’t make heads or tails of it.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: **.
Breaking News (film #2 in the News section of TVArk). [Category: News]
Clip from a news break-in from Sky News on a football team being disciplined for misconduct. This is appropriately chaotic, but too short to be of much interest.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Air Smashes Devastate Germany (film #38 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Newsreel story about American air raids on Germany during World War II. This mostly involves lots of things being blown up real good, including Wittenburg, home of Martin Luther, the narrator tells us. Guess it’s rubble now.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Coca-Cola Bottling Plant, Arabia/North Africa (film #341 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
From our International Ephemera Department, we get this factory tour film about bottling Coca-Cola in some Arabic country, completely narrated in Arabic. It’s fairly standard factory tour fare (though why they chose to include an extended sequence on making burlap bags I don’t know), until the end, when we find out that polite, well-heeled folks in this country enjoy going out to nightclubs in the evening and drinking Coca-Cola while singing along to a catchy advertising jingle. I don’t remember this from geography class.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Young Man's Fancy (MST3K Episode #610: The Violent Years. Also in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #1723 on Prelinger Archive. Also, track #30 on Ephemeral Films CD-ROM (Voyager) (excerpts)). [Category: Industrial]
Teen-aged Judy falls head over heels for her older brother's friend Alexander Phipps––he makes her feel "squishy"––but Alex is too obsessed with electrical appliances and time and motion study to notice her. So Mom comes to the rescue, helping Judy plot a "nice little conspiracy" involving a nice home-cooked meal made in their all-electric kitchen. This film was made by a group of electric companies, and no opportunity was missed to plug electrical appliances. A very ripe piece of 50s camp.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Msting: ***. Overall Rating: *****.
Bees’ Buzz (film #20 on Feature Films). [Category: Hollywood]
Wacky Mack Sennett comedy from the early sound era involving an elopement, a chase by an angry father and a rival suitor, a cow costume, a car stalling on the railroad tracks, a justice of the peace in a steam cabinet, some golfers, and a beehive that goes down the rival suitor’s pants. Many of the individual gags fall flat, but the overall silliness of the proceedings and the fast pace make this pretty amusing anyway. There is a real 20s feeling to this film, which is rare in a sound film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ***.
False Vases (film #5 on Felix the Cat, Vol. 1 (Video Resources, 1994)). [Category: Hollywood]
Felix breaks a Chinese vase at home and fears the wrath of his cranky wife. So, naturally, he gets his dog to dig a hole to China so he can get a new one. This is one of the weaker Felixes, but it's still pretty fun in places. My favorite moment is when Felix transforms four snakes into a sort of pipe organ. Lots of mileage (literally) is gotten from the Chinese guys' long pigtails and several laws of physics are routinely broken. Felix finally returns to his side of the world with an acceptable vase, which he immediately breaks, starting the whole cycle over again.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Bicycle Safety (film #2 on AV Geeks). [Category: Educational]
Dry Centron bicycle safety film containing rules, rules, and more rules for riding your bike. There are a few amusing moments of examples of what not to do, and the overall environment is very representative of 50s suburbia, but mostly this is pretty tedious.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Boston Blackie (film #6 on Side A of Disc 5 of TV Favorites DVD Megapack (Treeline Films, 2003)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Episode of an early 50s crime show based upon a radio program. Detective Boston Blackie helps an old ex-con friend of his beat a robbery rap really committed by his brother. This is standard crime show fare, and rather cheaply done as well, though Blackie’s black fenderless convertible is cool.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Angels with Dirty Faces Trailer (film #1 on Disc 1 of The Adventures of Robin Hood DVD (Warner Bros., 2003)). [Category: Commercial]
Fairly standard trailer for the gangster pic Angels with Dirty Faces. No surprises here, but it is representative of the trailers you might have seen in a theater when The Adventures of Robin Hood was playing.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Adland: McDonald’s Commercial (film #8 on Media Burn Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
Another clip from Adland, this one showing us the filming of a McDonald’s commercial. The guy who plays Ronald McDonald is interviewed, as well as the director of the commercial and the man in charge of the campaign. They are shown enjoying their work, and viewing this type of advertising as subtle and sophisticated. This is not quite as strange as the Adland clip featuring Mason Reese, but it’s still fairly interesting.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Bus Nut (film #6 on AV Geeks). [Category: Educational]
A little girl is a “bus nut”––that is, she’s obsessed with the school bus and following all the safety rules. Amazingly enough, this doesn’t get her beaten up by the other kids. This is a very 70s film, with all the right enlightened 70s casting choices. The main character is African American, the kids are different races, and the bus driver is a woman. Other than that, this could be a 50s film in its heavy-handedness and unrealistic portrayals of children (at least the “good” ones––the “bad” ones seem pretty real). And the acting will make you wince. Making this a fairly campy blast from the 70s.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Don’t Run (film #16 in the Public Info. Films section of TVArk). [Category: Public Service]
Very brief 70s PSA that purports the interesting idea that you shouldn’t run down the street and around a corner, because construction workers actually do walk around with huge plates of glass for people to run into, just like in every slapstick comedy you’ve ever seen. A curiosity.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ****.
Abracadabra (film #20 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms. Also, film #4 in the Music Video section of Brickfilms. Also, film #5 in the Sci-Fi section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
A Lego guy does a really bitchin’ magic act until the Alien Police arrive and arrest him for practicing magic without a license. The makers of this film probably got busted by the Brickfilm Police for using––gasp!––PLAY-DOUGH for the alien heads. I’ll forgive it, though, because it is a genuinely funny film with several good lines, an easily impressed Lego audience, and cute alien heads.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Breakfast Time Special: Zeebrugge Tragedy (film #1 in the News section of TVArk). [Category: News]
Opening of a BBC special report on a 1987 Belgian shipwreck. This is most interesting for the programs the clipped British announcer says are being preempted: a gambling show and a children’s program! Other than that, this is ordinary.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Circular Panorama of Electric Tower (film #39 on American at Work, America at Leisure. Also, film #65 on Edison Film Archive. Also, film #2 on The Last Days of a President. Also in the Historical section of Open Video Project. Also, film #6 on The Origins of Cinema, Volume 1: The Films of Thomas Edison (Video Yesteryear, 1995)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Surrounding the electric tower is a lot of striking neoclassical architecture. I wonder how much of it still stands. A 1901 Edison film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Air Forces Come Home via Bomber (film #37 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Wartime newsreel featuring stories about airmen coming home from Europe after V-E day, though only to train and prepare to go to the Pacific; Secretary of State Stettinius proclaiming the Four Freedoms; Herbert Hoover being consulted by Truman for advice on distributing food to war-torn Europe; a one-armed baseball player; and grisly fighting on the island of Okinawa. Apart from the one-armed ballplayer, this is pretty standard wartime fare.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
A Coach for Cinderella (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #339 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
Not satisfied with just fooling around with newsreels (see the endless permutations of Chevrolet Leader News), Chevrolet had to go and make a cartoon, too. Actually, this is pretty charming. It features a bunch of elves from the wrong fairy tale who decide to help out Cinderella by making her a coach from a pumpkin, a turtle shell, some caterpillars, and lots of other stuff from the forest. They assemble the coach in a way suspiciously similar to an automobile assembly line. Then they put it into a great contraption called a “Modernizer”, and out comes––wait for it––a brand new Chevrolet! This could pass for one of the many fairytale-themed cartoons made during the 30s, and its advertising message is not too heavy-handed. Making this one of the more fun examples of the industrial genre.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Combat Bulletin No. 24 (film #2 on tape #3 of This Film Is Restricted Boxed Set (Marathon Music & Video, 1997)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
This is mostly about the Allied advance in Germany. In "Channel Coast Activities", the Army Air Corps bombs German merchant vessels in the English Channel. In "Ordinance Repairs", tanks are repaired (that's it, really). In "German Frontier Operations", several U.S. armies advance across the German frontier. In "Additional Film Airborne Operations", more paratroops and supplies are dropped on Holland. There's an interesting little clip from a camera strapped to a paratrooper's chest (making you want to shout "Jane! Stop this crazy thing!!"). In "Toulon Harbor Installations", we are shown various captured German installations near Toulon, Italy. In "Invasion of Palau Islands", we see Air Force and Naval footage of said invasion, including footage of bombing, naval maneuvers, and the building of an airstrip on a captured island. One of the more ordinary Combat Bulletins.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Be Good to Me (film #1 in the Film section of Bedazzled. Also, film #3 in the Video section of Bedazzled. Also, film #1 on Scopitones). [Category: Hollywood]
Petula Clark sings a pop ditty that urges her lover to be good to her. She sings this while riding in a boat towing a male waterskier. Then she goes to the wharf and hangs out with the fishmongers. OK, the ditty is cute and sincere, but the visuals in this Scopitone make you wonder what is really going on in this relationship.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Bicycle Clown (film #2 on AV Geeks). [Category: Educational]
A boy poorly narrates the story of his younger brother Jimmy, a kid who clowns around on his bike in order to impress his peers and thinks safety rules are for sissies. Since this is a Sid Davis film, he is punished for this by getting into an accident which results in him getting gauze wrapped around his head, his arm in a sling, and being confined to a hospital bed. Jimmy’s brother becomes obsessed with finding out why this happened, even though it’s obvious from the beginning that Jimmy is an idiotic daredevil. This is one of the tamer Sid Davis films, though.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Why Play Leap Frog? (film #3 on An American Retrospective Through Animation (Moviecraft, 1994). Also, in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #1681 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
What plays leap frog are wages and prices in a capitalist economy, as this film patiently explains to its Meet King Joe-like hero, an employee at the Dilly Doll Company who gets upset after getting a raise and then finding out the price has gone up on his own company's product (this must have been the days before employee discounts). The explanation given for inflation is that labor costs so darn much. Essentially, the doll's higher price is directly attributed to worker Joe's raise, a depressing message to the workers this film was aimed at. But a way out is presented in the form of technology––advances in manufacturing technology increase productivity and this supposedly keeps wages ahead of prices. I don't know much about economic theory, but this seems awfully simplistic and convenient to business owners. Besides that, the film has the patronizing tone of Meet King Joe. I doubt if many workers really bought this.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ***.
A Bolt of Lightning (film #2 on Side A of Disc 1 of Historic Classics DVD Megapack (Mill Creek Entertainment, 2005)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Charlton Heston stars in this “Studio One” Revolutionary War drama. It tells the story of Boston attorney James Otis, who tried to have writs of assistance, which were documents that allowed hired goons to break into people’s houses and perform destructive searches on a whim, declared illegal in the colonies. The bid is unsuccessful because the judge is in the governor’s pocket. Not only that, but the governor sends his hired goons to beat up Otis, who ends up with a serious head injury. This was supposed to have made him crazy, but it really only seems to slow down Heston’s overbearing performance a little bit. Anyway, the people get fed up and go to war, Otis helps them out a bit, they win, and Otis dies of the title bolt of lightning. This is not too bad for live drama done on primitive sets, but I’m guessing the better “Studio One” episodes are yet to come. More fun are the Betty Furness commercials about Westinghouse appliances––the turkey roaster she demonstrates is the exact same kind of roaster I remember my mother using to cook the thanksgiving turkeys of my childhood.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ***.
Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy Trailer (film #2 in the Movie Trailers section of Bedazzled). [Category: Commercial]
Standard-issue trailer for Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy. Some mildly amusing moments from the film, as well as some hyperbolic ad lines, are included. Mostly this is ordinary, though.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Evicted to the Poor Farm by Her No-Good Son-in-Law (film #1 in the Our Gang on TV section of TVParty). [Catgegory: Hollywood]
Clip from a 1929 Our Gang short, in which Grandma is threatened with being sent to the poor farm by her son-in-law, who swindled her out of her money. This causes the Gang to attack the man, knocking him to the floor and beating on him en masse. This is not something you’d see in films today. The beginning of the clip, which sets up the situation is incredibly tear-jerking, while the battle with the kids is just plain bizarre. A great example of the weirdness of the Our Gang series.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Adland: Dagne Crane, Mason Reese (film #7 on Media Burn Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
Clip from a 1972 underground film about the people involved in making television commercials, featuring a pretty actress who says she does it because she’s a masochist, and Mason Reese, cute, chubby-cheeked star of many 70s commercials. You may not remember his name, but the minute you see him, it will all come rushing back to you. Off-camera moments reveal him to be way more world-savvy than any 7-year-old ought to be, making fun of the product and carrying on like any self-involved adult star. A fascinating behind-the-scenes look at the commercial section of TV Land.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
The Bus Driver (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #264 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]
Straightforward Encyclopedia Britannica film for kids about drivers of long-distance buses. We see a boy and his father go on a long-distance bus ride, and a narrator explains what is happening. About as gripping as, well, a long-distance bus ride.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Amber Gambler Twins (film #2 in the Public Info. Films section of TVArk). [Category: Public Service]
British safe driving PSA on a “We have met the enemy and he is us” theme. An “amber gambler” is somebody who thinks the yellow light means “accelerate so you can beat the red light,” instead of “prepare to stop.” One such bloke gleefully amber gambles until he meets another amber gambler that bears a striking resemblance to…d’oh!! Mildly amusing.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
About a Different Door (film #18 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
This response to About a Door proves that some things really are what they seem to be. Mildly amusing, though it could be funnier.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Children Digging for Clams (film #11 on The Movies Begin, Volume One: The Great Train Robbery and Other Primary Works (Kino Video, 1994). Also, film #11 on The Art of Cinema Begins (Video Yesteryear, 1997) (titled "Children Fishing for Shrimp")). [Category: Early Film & TV]
So are they digging for clams or fishing for shrimp? I call shrimp. Another children's picture-book image. An 1896 Lumiere film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
BBC Election Night (film #19 in the News section of TVArk). [Category: News]
Clip from BBC coverage of the 2005 British election. I was expecting tedium here, but was surprised––this is a great deal of fun, actually. A hyperbolic, yet very British, anchorman promises “to be fast, to be accurate, and to have a bit of fun along the way.” Then we see footage of election workers running around with boxes of ballots, and the co-anchors are given a chance to make hyperbolic pronouncement. Everything is very properly British, of course, so it all comes off as a bit silly. I’d rather watch this than American election night coverage any day.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Adm. Kimmel Testifies on Pearl Harbor (film #31 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Newsreel from the early post-war period featuring stories on Adm. Kimmel testifying in a hearing concerning the attack on Pearl Harbor (he maintains that being let in on certain intelligence information held by the White House would have prevented some loss of life); the United Nations electing a president (Mr. Spock wins––really!); General Eisenhower telling us when the boys will finally be able to come home (he says soon); a British train wreck that killed 10 people, and was the third such wreck in a week’s time, sullying British Rail’s pristine safety record (1’ll say!); a boat show featuring some bizarre floats (Hello, Mr. Sun1); and a speed skating competition (lots of skaters fall down). All in all, it’s a fairly ordinary newsreel, with some mildly amusing moments, giving us a snapshot of what things were like in 1946.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Combat Bulletin No. 23 (film #1 on tape #3 of This Film Is Restricted Boxed Set (Marathon Music & Vidoe, 1997)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Mostly combat footage on this one, with a few interesting moments here and there. In "E.T.O: German Installations", we are shown a number of cleverly camouflaged German installations, including a gun emplacement disguised to look like a movie theater (talk about cinematic bombs!) and an aerodrome disguised to look like a quaint, peaceful village. In "Pacific: Invasion of Morotai Island", we get to see GIs waterproofing their jeeps' and other vehicles' engines with a truly disgusting-looking asbestos paste (not to mention the waterline on General Douglas MacArthur's pants). "B-29s in Operation" is just what is says. The other segments, "5th Army Pierces Gothic Line", "E.T.O.: Allies Capture More French Ports", "Capture of Le Havre", "E.T.O.: Allied Armies Drive on Germany", "American 1st Army" and "British 2nd Army", are all basically just combat footage.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Bookkeeping and You (film #8 on AV Geeks). [Category: Industrial]
This early Coronet film goes through a high school bookkeeping class and gives the reasons why all the students are taking it. This mostly involves students needing to know how to keep the books in various family businesses, meaning that their parents probably made them take the class. We get to see the parents of these students use bookkeeping in various Mom and Pop businesses, a girl who is learning bookkeeping because she wants to become a stenographer and perhaps get promoted to secretary in an office full of male accountants, and the rich kid being forced to take the class so he won’t squander the family fortune, while his Mom checks up on the accuracy of the figures reported by the treasurer of her women’s club. Dick York is wasted in a cameo role, though it is a hoot to see him attempt to be a farmer. And the kid who wants to be a politician is realistically obnoxious––he probably went far in his chosen career. This is not one of Coronet’s best, but because it is by Coronet, it’s a lot more fun than it could have been given its subject matter.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
A Video Tour of the Rudolph Wurlitzer Mfg. Company (Hollywood's Attic, 2000). Also, film #1615 on Prelinger Archive ("A Visit to Wurlitzer")). [Category: Industrial]
This early 20s film takes us through the process of manufacturing one of those big, elaborate organs that used to be in movie theaters during the silent era. It goes all the way from kiln-drying the lumber to installing the organ in a new San Francisco picture pallace. One fun scene features a comparison of the biggest and smallest pipes in the organ. The biggest is several stories high and big enough around that a man can sit comfortably inside of it. The smallest is about the size of a pencil. Many parts of the organ are made with huge machines, while others are carefully hand-built. This is another early industrial film that gives us a fascinating view of another era.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
A Me Piace Celentano (film #1 in the Cinebox section of Bedazzled. Also, film #4 in the Film section of Bedazzled. Also, film #6 in the Video section of Bedazzled. Also, film #4 on Scopitones). [Category: Hollywood]
Wacky Italian (I think) Scopitone featuring a geeky boy with a huge pencil (shut up, Freud!) trying to do his math homework. Now I don’t understand Italian, but I think the point here is that he much prefers twisting with girls about twice his size and one and a half times his age to doing math. Of course, for all I know (Warning: Ethnic Stereotype Ahead!) this could be how the Italians actually teach math. I will say that for a geeky math whiz, this kid dances a mean twist.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: *****.
The Electric House (film #8 on Side 2 of Disc A of Comedy Classics DVD Megapack (Treeline Films, 2004)). [Category: Hollywood]
Buster Keaton plays a recent college grad who gets his diploma in botany mixed up with another grad’s diploma in electrical engineering, and, as a result, gets a job installing electricity in a rich man’s house. He bones up for the job by reading Electricity Made Easy, and thus is able to install lots of clever electrical devices in the man’s house, including an electric stairway, an electric billiards rack, and an electric train that serves dinner. Since this is Buster we’re talking about, though, it’s only a matter of time before everything begins malfunctioning, and to add to the problems, the real electrical engineer shows up and takes his revenge by going into the little room with all the wiring and messing up all the connections. I love films that are full of clever electrical gadgets and this does not disappoint, though it’s hard to tell which is funnier––the devices themselves or watching them malfunction.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
BBC1 Junction Into Welsh Programme (film #2 in the Schools section of TVArk). [Category: Educational]
This starts as a boring clock graphic, with a clipped British announcer telling us the next program will be in Welsh and “only on certain transmitters.” Then, in case we’ve forgotten it’s the 70s, we get to hear the Bee Gees sing “Night Fever.” After a bit, a psychedelic graphic appears, then one of the standard mesmerizing countdown clocks, while the music switches inexplicably to the Pink Panther theme. OK. I only wish they had added a bit of the Welsh program in order to tip the scales on weirdness for this one.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Beverly Hills Uplift Society (film #1 on Burns & Allen, Vol. 3 DVD (Television Classics)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
This early episode of “The Burns & Allen Show” just screams early tv, with its Carnation “from contented cows” opening. The show itself is very funny, as it showcases Gracie’s illogical logic. Gracie’s club, The Beverly Hills Uplift Society, has been locked out of their clubhouse for failing to pay the rent. This is because Gracie, the club’s treasurer, took the $120 earmarked to pay the rent and spent it on a $120 safe to keep it in. This is only the beginning of such ditzy shenanigans, of course. I think what I love about Gracie is that she is gleefully clueless about the havoc she wreaks, and somehow things always manage to work themselves out. The show is charmingly close to its radio roots, with George periodically giving monologues, and Harry Von Zell working the commercial for Carnation milk right into the plot. The show is quite well-preserved considering its age, and the fact that it’s on a bargain $1.99 DVD that comes in a cardboard envelope.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: *****.
The AA (film #2 in the Adverts section of TVArk). [Category: Commercial]
Very 70s singing commercial for the AA, which I take to be the British Automobile Association. Charmingly inoffensive, though I must point out that we Yanks get three A’s in our similar organization. I do think the AA plates that go on the front of the cars are cool, though.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
The Bully (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also film #263 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]
Chick Allen, a high-school kid who spends his time bullying a bunch of grade school kids, makes big plans to bust up the class picnic, even though he’s invited too. He forces all his little victims to go along with his plans. Fortunately, one of them tells his older sister, who is on the picnic planning committee. She tells the rest of the kids in the class and they secretly change the location of the picnic, then stupidly send Chick a note after he and his victims show up at the original picnic site inviting him to come to the relocated picnic. When Chick and his victims show up, Centron asks us, “What do you think?” This is one of the most amateurish Centron productions I’ve seen. The acting is universally horrible, with the actors’ charming Kansas twang not bailing them out this time. The plot is bizarre, with a setup that bears no resemblance to real bullying, except in the infliction of pain and fear in the victims. Still, this makes the movie quite campy and ripe for msting.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
The Dicktator Trailer (film #48 in the Trailers section of Movieflix). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
Really stupid trailer for a really stupid 70s sex comedy about a world crisis of male sterility, which, of course, turns all women into nymphos. Gives you an idea of how silly many of the X-rated films of the 70s were, though that’s not saying that they’re any more intelligent today.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Keep Australia Beautiful #2 (film #121 in the Cult section of TVArk). [Category: Public Service]
Another “Keep Australia Beautiful” PSA from Tom Baker as the Fourth Doctor Who. This one is not quite as much fun as the other one, as it plays more to the kiddie audience, and it’s not quite as much in character with Baker’s Doctor. Still, I enjoy the idea that the Doctor is heading to earth to work on Australia’s pollution problems, though with him on the job one wonders how much the audience thinks it really needs to do about it.Ratings:Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Africa – A Tribute to Humankind (film #251 on Open Source Movies). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
This film is a montage of footage from 30s documentaries about Africa, with world music on the soundtrack. The footage is mostly of either animals or the practices of tribal peoples. Much of it is quite striking, and the music adds a sort of dreamlike quality to things, allowing you to just sit back and enjoy the footage. It makes for an interesting, rather mesmerizing viewing experience, though I think it’s a bit overlong. Still, those with a particular interest in Africa will probably enjoy this, as long as they’re not expecting commentary to go with the visual images.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Automobile for Cross-Country Travel Devised (film #123 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: News]
Newsreel story from the 30s about a newly-invented German car that can drive over roadless country. This is fun to watch, but for some reason, the narration is in German, despite the fact that this was an American newsreel. That makes the clip weirder than it might otherwise be.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Air Army Invades Germany (film #131 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Newsreel clip from World War II documenting several stories from the last days of the European war, including paratroops invading Germany, the capture of Coblenz, the development of a new French plane under the noses of the Nazis, and the 101st Airborne Division being decorated for bravery in the Battle of the Bulge. This has a lot of historical interest, especially the part about Universal’s cameraman in the story about the capture of Coblenz. I know I often wonder about the cameraman when watching such battle footage, and it’s great to see his bravery credited for once.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Childish Quarrel (film #15 on The Movies Begin, Volume One: The Great Train Robbery and Other Primary Works (Kino Video, 1994). Also, film #15 on The Art of Cinema Begins (Video Yesteryear, 1997)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Two overdressed babies fight over a spoon. This film would influence home movies for years to come. An 1895 Lumiere film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Choosing a Classroom Film (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #317 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
This film was made by McGraw-Hill for teachers in order to encourage them to use films in the classroom. It features a guy talking at the camera about the various purposes classroom films can be used, such as “to develop interest” or “to change attitudes.” This would be dull as dishwater, except 1. the guy has uses lots of great signs and visual aids; and 2. he shows clips from various McGraw-Hill films, including that classic of child mind-control, Manners in School. These two factors make the film a great deal of fun and very mstable, plus the fact that this is another example, like Technicolor for Industrial Films, of an ephemeral film about ephemeral films.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Combat Bulletin No. 22 (film #1 on tape #4 of This Film Is Restricted Boxed Set (Marathon Music & Video, 1997)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
This bulletin documents the push across France and Belgium into Germany. In "Operations in France" we are shown lots of street fighting and bombing. In "20,000 Germans Surrender", the most interesting segment, we are shown footage of an actual surrender procedure, as a large German unit surrenders to Americans in France. The actual surrender ceremony is shown and we also get to see huge piles of weapons and other war materials that the Germans turn over to the Americans. In "New Flying Bomb Launching Site", we're shown detailed footage of a German V-1 Flying Bomb launcher that was recently captured by the Americans. In "Allies Move on Germany", we see some of the first footage of ground fighting on German soil. In "British 2nd Army", the British advance through Beligium toward Germany and in "American 1st Army" more American troops cross the border into Germany. In "Airborne Operations", American glider troops prepare for an assault in Holland. It's all pretty standard, though the surrender footage is interesting.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ***.
Big Bad Sinbad (film #18 on Film Chest Vintage Cartoons). [Category: Hollywood]
Popeye takes his nephews (Just what is it with those nephews anyway? They seem more like clones than nephews. Check out the tattoos on their forearms…) to the Nautical Museum where they encounter a statue of Sinbad that looks suspiciously like Bluto, with the legend “THE GREATEST SAILOR IN THE WORLD.” Naturally, Popeye cannot let this assertion stand, so he tells a tall tale about how he whupped Sinbad’s ass (in a matter of speaking). This tale, of course, has little to do with Sinbad, and everything to do with Popeye, including cameo appearances from Olive Oyl and Wimpy. This cartoon is rather ordinary, but it does have some fun moments, including the stuff that Bluto, er, “Sinbad,” knocks out of Popeye’s pockets before he has a chance to eat his spinach.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ****.
U.S.A. Today (film #9 on Lifestyles, U.S.A., Vol. 1 (Something Weird, 2000)). [Category: Industrial]
Industry! Building a better tomorrow! And to distribute the fruits of that industry we have trucks! Big ol' International Harvester trucks! More trucks than you can shake a stick at! More trucks than ever before! Seriously, if you love trucks, then this is definitely your movie. Made during the 50s, it contains more trucks from that period than you will probably ever see in one place in any other film. The advertising art on many of these trucks is quite fun and cool. Oh, and did I mention that the film is about trucks?Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Bombardment of the Taku Forts by the Allied Fleets (film #32 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Some ships pull up to a fort and begin shooting at each other. OK, folks, this looks for all the world to me like it was staged with model boats in front of a backdrop, but the page about it on the Edison Film Archive doesn’t confirm this, just calling it “an exciting naval battle”. So I leave it up to you the reader: Gripping Documentary Footage or Some Guys Playing with Toy Boats? You decide. A 1900 Edison film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Eats Are West (film #8 on Felix the Cat DVD (Delta Entertainment, 2004) ("A Felix Comic"). Also, film #2 on Felix the Cat, Vol. 1 (Video Resources, 1994)). [Category: Hollywood]
Felix the Cat is really cool. Who else do you know that can make an airplane out of a 2 x 4 and some exclamation points that appear above his head when he's surprised? In this cartoon, our master manipulator of reality is hungry and broke, so he goes to the Old West to get something to eat and runs afoul of some gunfighters. Lots of great Felix moments ensue, like him fashioning a horse from a lasso, stealing a bunch of pancakes from the image on a billboard (and running afoul of Aunt Jemima), and hiding behind a stick-figure tree. Watch out when the lights go out, though! Like I said, Felix is cool.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
The Astro-Zombies Trailer (extra on The Astro-Zombies DVD (Image Entertainment, 2000)). [Category: Commercial]
Highly campy, hyperbolic trailer for The Astro-Zombies, a movie that looks like its really really bad. Not only does it feature the title creatures “running amuck” but there’s a mad scientist whose “motives are entirely evil”, and it starts John Carradine, always a sign of quality! It’s a bit gory in spots, but mostly this is a great deal of campy fun.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Black Heat (film #35 in the Trailers section of Movieflix). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
It doesn’t get any baaaaddder than this trailer for a 70s blaxploitation flick, featuring a private dick who’s a sex machine to all the…well, you get the idea. Obviously made for angry black men. Brings back the 70s with a vangance.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Keep Australia Beautiful #1 (film #120 in the Cult section of TVArk). [Category: Public Service]
Tom Baker as the Fourth Doctor discovers from a alien disembodied voice that Australia is going down the tubes due to pollution. He helps out by doing a PSA telling everybody to “Keep Australia Beautiful.” The video quality of this is terrible, but as usual, watching Tom Baker is a delight. I wonder if I throw trash around here if he’ll come to visit me.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Amazone (film #16 in the Action section of Brickfilms. Also, film #17 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms. Also, film #9 in the Drama section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
A plane crashes in the jungle and the survivors have run-ins with a man-eating dinosaur and some hostile natives. Some of the scenes would be gory and upsetting if they weren’t happening to Lego guys, such as when the dinosaur eats one of them. If you want action in a brickfilm, though, this is the one for you––much of it is quite exciting. The dialogue is not in English, so it’s hard to know what they’re saying, but in this action-packed film, it doesn’t seem to matter. Not bad, but some of it is slightly incoherent.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
As World Watched: Spaceman Hailed After U.S. Triumph (film #1 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: News]
Newsreel story about astronaut Alan Shepard being given a medal by President Kennedy and honored in a parade after his historic spaceflight. This has a minor gaffe in it, as Kennedy forgot that he was supposed to pin the medal on Shepard after giving his speech about it. He handles it with his usual humorous aplomb after Jackie reminds him. Unfortunately, this clip is in very creaky condition, so this is hard to see and hear, and that cuts down on its historical value.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Building a Highway (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #262 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]
Do you have a little boy who is fascinated with construction equipment? If so, he should thoroughly enjoy this film, which explains in very simple terms how highways are built and shows lots of cool heavy machinery. All others will find it a dry, boring EB film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Advance on Rome (film #136 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Newsreel stories from World War II documenting the invasion of Rome and the bombing of Berlin. These have historical value, but unfortunately, the print is so dark you can barely see things. This cuts down considerably on the value of this newsreel clip.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Chevrolet Sales Convention Musical (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #1807 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
Apparently, the way to inspire car salesmen to really go out and sell is to show them a Broadway-style musical on that theme, or so it was in the 50s at Chevrolet. This singing and dancing sales pep talk gives you a real feel of the corporate culture at Chevrolet at the time, though what it actually says about it I don’t want to touch with a ten-foot pole. Rogers and Hammerstein these guys ain’t, though they sure try hard. As you might guess, this is tremendously campy and could be used to torture folks who like to think they’re cool. It’s rock and roll that killed this sort of thing––whether or not it was murder or justifiable homicide is up to the viewer to decide.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: *****.
The Child Stealers (film #22 on The Origins of Cinema, Volume 6: Rare Films (Video Yesteryear, 1997)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
A couple of raggedy beggars go around stealing children, though for what purpose is not clear. Eventually they are brought to justice when a child they use in their begging scam is recognized by his parents. Lots of scenes of mothers wailing and gnashing teeth after turning their backs on their children for just a minute. A 1903 Gaumont film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Axe for Turkeys (film #1 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Hollywood]
Silent newsreel clip from the early 30s featuring a whole bunch of turkeys running to be fed, then running away from a guy sharpening an axe. Animal distress seemed to be a main source of humor during the 30s. I’m glad we’ve made a little progress with this since then. The images of the turkeys are fairly striking, though.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Boers Bringing in British Prisoners (film #31 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]
A bunch of soldiers on horseback escort a bunch of weary-looking soldiers on foot, presumably the prisoners. A slice of the Boer War, though not a particularly interesting one. Still, we don’t have much of a filmed record of this war, so that gives it some historical interest. A 1900 Edison film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Assignment Outer Space Trailer (extra on Assignment Outer Space DVD (Alpha Video, 2003)). [Category: Commercial]
Fairly campy and hyperbolic trailer for Assignment Outer Space, an early 60s film about space travel. This is actually pretty typical of trailers for films of this type, though the cheesy special effects are fun.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Dick Whittington’s Cat (film #527 on Open Source Movies). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
This sign-language interpreted cartoon has extensive interpretation that explains the whole story, despite the fact that the story is mainly told visually, with little dialogue. If your deaf kid needs extensive help to follow a narrative, then I guess this is the cartoon for you. I would suspect that at least some deaf kids wouldn’t need this much help, though. The interpretation is straightforward and tells the story fairly accurately, though.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Combat Bulletin No. 21 (film #2 on tape #2 of This Film Is Restricted Boxed Set (Marathon Music & Video, 1997)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
This one mostly documents mopping-up efforts behind the retreating enemy. Lots of bridge-building, cleaning up after enemy explosions of buildings and materiel, meeting happy civilians, and final skirmishes with the last vestiges of the retreating enemy. The segments are entitled "Mediterranean Progress in Southern France", "Activities in Italy", "Bridge Over Salween River", "Pacific: Cleanup at Aitape", "E.T.O.: Northern France and Belgium" and "American 3rd Army", but they're all pretty much the same deal in different locations.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****, Overall Rating: **.
A Kalinga Supply Plane Landing and Being Unloaded (in the Educational section of Open Video Project). [Category: Public Service]
A bunch of Himalayan natives receive supplies from a plane, in a bizarre combination of ancient and modern practices. Another historically interesting clip of documentary footage from the 40s of Apa Tani tribespeople and their ways.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ***.
The Alphabet (film #1 in the Documentary section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
This simple little brickfilm uses only a few bricks to spell out the alphabet, two letters at a time. This looks like it would fit right in on “Sesame Street.” A clever use of a few bricks.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Ancient Mexican Dances for President (film #2 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: News]
Newsreel story from the 30s showing Mexican Indian tribes doing tribal dances for the Mexican President. The huge headdresses are somewhat interesting, but this is too short to really have much historical value.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Aid Britain, Says Hull (film #136 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
This is basically just footage of two boring speeches made on the eve of World War II by politicians, one urging aid to Britain and one announcing a tax hike for national defense. A little historical value here, but not much else.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Chevrolet Leader News, Vol. 5, No. 2 (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #309 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
This rather dull edition of Chevrolet Leader News features bathing beauties fencing on the beach, the utterly fascinating world of rice growing, more model boat racing, traffic cops getting aerial photographs of intersections with a camera attached to a balloon, and, in the latest animal abuse news, baby chicks being transported on a seaplane to South America. Actually, this doesn’t really qualify as animal abuse, so they had to make up for it by placing a couple of the chicks in a humiliating toy plane. Another slow news day at Chevrolet. The graphic design of the title cards is cool, though.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
The Truck Farmer (MST3K Episode #507: I Accuse My Parents). [Category: Industrial]
The values of modern truck farming are extolled here, and the msting is merciless. From the exploitation of farm workers: "Where else are people exploited?", to slash and burn agriculture: "Stupid trees! I hate 'em!", to the overuse of chemicals: "There's nothing we can't spray!", to the overly meat-heavy American diet: "Well, it's not meat, but I supposed I'd better buy some just for appearances' sake,"––not a thing gets past Joel and the bots without commentary. Which is good, because the short itself is fairly dull.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Msting: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Ancient Chinese Field Games (film #1 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Hollywood]
Newsreel story from the early 30s documenting a sports festival in China, including a sport that must be an early version of the hackysack. Narration is breezy, but manages to avoid stereotypes for the most part, which is amazing given the time this was made. It does give you a historically interesting brief glimpse of pre-war China, however, I don’t know what to make of the comment about “Chinese flappers.”Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Easter Island (film #472 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Hollywood]
Silent color footage of what looks like an archeological expedition. It could just be a travelogue, though––it's hard to tell without the soundtrack. There are some rather primitive-looking graphic cards featuring the famous Easter Island statues to break things up a bit, as well as lots of footage of people unloading things from ships. A head-scratcher.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: **.
Bobby Bumps Starts a Lodge (film #2 on Origins of American Animation). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Bobby Bumps invites his friend, an African-American kid, to join a lodge he has made up on the spot. The initiation involves a blindfold and a goat, but it’s not as scary as you might think. After the black kid cheats on being initiated, he gets trapped by a bear. When Bobby saves him, Bobby gets trapped by the bear and has to be saved. Since they both saved each other, they decide to be initiated together. The black kid is drawn and speaks (in subtitles) in a very racist stereotyped way, yet the fact that he’s Bobby’s friend, is invited to join the lodge, and meets an equal fate to Bobby in the end means that this film was vastly ahead of its time in portraying kids of two different races playing together. This makes it a fascinating piece historically, as well as being a great example of early animation. A 1916 Bray film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
The Angry Red Planet Trailer (extra on The Angry Red Planet DVD (MGM, 2001)). [Category: Commercial]
Fairly campy trailer for The Angry Red Planet that features a gimmick––Cinemagic––which is essentially just a red filter in the camera, though the trailer tries to make it out to be much more. The supposedly great special effects that they tout look incredibly cheesy and cheap. Which makes this a fun trailer to watch––it’s this kind of hyperbole that makes a trailer.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
A Day at the Zoo (film #68 on Open Source Movies). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
This sign-language interpreted version of the hoary old Warner Bros. toon takes a somewhat more sensible approach. The cartoon is narrated, so they took out the original narration and replaced it with narration by the sign language interpreter. This avoids having the gags overexplained, though she does miss some gags, such as the “two bucks and five cents” gag. This is not always a bad thing, though, as the explanation for what made the wildcat wild is left out, and it would thoroughly puzzle anyone too young to remember 30s movie theater “Bank Nights.” Most interestingly, the interpreter plays the narrator’s role in chiding Egghead for teasing the lion. His usual line, “I’m a bad boy” is left out, but the gag comes across anyway. This is to my mind one of the better of the sign-language interpreted toons I’ve seen.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Builders of the Broad Highway (film #260 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]
Another educational film about highway building. This one goes into quite a bit of detail about the process, and it impresses you with the skill and the risk-taking of the construction workers. But it basically just goes on and on about highway building, which is interesting if you’re into that kind of thing, but boring if you’re not.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Help Needy, Says First Lady (film #1 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Public Service]
Newsreel clip of Eleanor Roosevelt speaking to the National Federation of Women’s Clubs, urging women (read: wealthy women) to do charitable work to help the poor during the Depression. This has some historical value, but it’s creaky as all get-out.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Aloha Ha Ha (film #30 on Film Chest Vintage Cartoons). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
This is one of those lame New Three Stooges limited animation tv cartoons, with live-action bumpers by the Stooges themselves. This one features the Stooges trying to avoid being eaten by a cannibal tribe, while the bumpers feature a very old, lethargic, and tame lion who is so pathetic they had to dub in a roar. There’s a real bottom-of-the-barrel feel to this, as if nobody cared about the kids at home watching, except for maybe the local hosts that showed syndicated cartoons like this. Something to watch when nothing else is on.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Al Smith Hails End of Dry Law (film #1 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: News]
New York’s governor Al Smith pontificates briefly on the end of Prohibition. This clip should be placed in a documentary about the 30s right before scenes of drunken partying to Spike Jones’ “Cocktails for Two.” By itself, it’s pretty dull.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
La Cheval Emballe (film #15 on The Movies Begin, Volume Three: Experimentation and Discovery (Kino Video, 1994)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
While a deliveryman shmoozes, his horse eats a sack of oats in front of a grocery store. The oats must be super-vitamanized, because the horse takes off at top speed, mowing down everything in its path, creating a particularly anarchic chase scene. Eventually the horse finds its way home, and its owner deals with all the pesky folks chasing it by making use of a handy garden hose. One of the better chase films. A 1907 Pathe Freres film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ****.
Akron Disaster (film #111 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Silent newsreel story documenting the crash of Navy dirigible U.S.S. Akron. Mostly this involves showing the bit of ocean it crashed into and showing the recovery of dead bodies from the deep. They do include some footage of the Akron in its heyday, though, and those scenes are quite historically interesting, bringing back the days of huge airships floating silently through the sky.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Balbo Nears American Goal (film #1 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Industrial]
Newsreel footage, some of it silent, of an armada of planes flying from Italy to the Century of Progress Exhibition in Chicago. This has some cool footage of radiotelegraph signals from the planes coming in and messages typing out on a huge Western Union typewriter. Otherwise, this is pretty ordinary.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Anzac in Curious Racial Mixup (film #1 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Hollywood]
Brief newsreel story about an Australian man who was taken to China by his parents and then orphaned there, ending up being raised by Chinese villagers. The fact that he’s a white man who is culturally and linguistically Chinese is portrayed with all the awe accorded to Siamese twins and other forms of freaks. Of course, the other way around isn’t as amazing, which reveals the racism of the time. I have to admit, though, that I jumped a bit when his Chinese interpreter started speaking English with a perfect Australian accent.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Build Your Vocabulary (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #259 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]
Pete’s dad, Mr. Willis, has a problem (Pete doesn’t have a problem, which is unusual for a Coronet film). It seems that folks keep usin’ all these high-fallutin’ words around him, words like “explicit” and “anthology.” It darn near drives him nuts (in a very campy scene) until he starts writin’ in one a’ them-there vocabulary notebooks. Now he can finally understand what his wife is talking about! This is a very campy film. Its main character is pathetically stupid, so much so that you get the impression that the only thing keeping him in his job is the fact that he’s a white male. He even gets the book Fundamentals of Printing from the library to read for the first time––considering he works for a printing company this is probably a good idea. Good thing he’s not a doctor. This character, and the fact that an adult is portrayed as the clueless one for once, make this a unique and memorable Coronet film, prime for msting.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: *****.
Bob’s Electric Theater (film #3 on Early Sci-Fi Fantasy Films (Buyer’s Gallery Movie Memories)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Some kids are bored, so they start experimenting with stop-motion animation of their toys. This gets pretty weird in spots, especially when the spanking begins. It’s an interesting early experiment in stop-motion, though. A 1906 Pathe Freres film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
American Express Card (film #7 in The Most Memorable Commercials of the 1970s section of TVParty). [Category: Commercial]
Early example of the “Do You Know Me?” campaign featuring either Siegfried or Roy, I can’t remember which is which. Since American Express is still making these commercials, there are really no surprises here, though it might have a bit of historical interest.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Bubbling Over (film #1 on Side A of Disc #9 of Classic Musicals DVD Megapack (Mill Creek Entertainment, 2005)(in Soundies Festival)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
Ethel Waters stars in this bizarre musical short that involves a lazy husband, his philandering relatives, a bogus swami fortune-teller, and an uncle who they think has struck it rich but is really a nutcase. Racist stereotypes abound, and it’s a shame to see Waters, who is obviously an intelligent and very talented woman, have to struggle with such insulting material. Her songs are good, but otherwise, this leaves you with a big “huh?”Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Junior High Schools in New York City (film #794 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]
This early 60s film tries to explain the whole concept of junior high schools to parents who didn’t go to them, and thus don’t think they’re necessary. It does it in as stilted and controlled fashion as possible, with everything carefully scripted and acted out by people who couldn’t act their way out of a paper bag. This gives the film a geeky quality which is rather appealing after a bit. It is sure to bring back lots of memories, not all of them pleasant, in folks who attended junior high during the 50s and early 60s. Gender roles aplenty appear, including boys lining up in the front of the classroom while girls line up at the side; boys learning woodworking and electrical tinkering in shop class, while girls learn cooking, table manners, and dressmaking in Home Ec; and girls doing folk dancing in P.E., while the boys play sports. It was somewhat ahead of its time, though, in the portrayal of multi-racial classrooms and an African-American art teacher teaching white students. If it’s school footage you want, this film has it. Now close your notebooks and prepare to pass to the next film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
A Chess Dispute (film #18 on The Movies Begin, Volume Two: The European Pioneers (Kino Video, 1994)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
An argument over a friendly game of chess degenerates into punching, scratching, suspender-throwing, seltzer-squirting mayhem. Those violent chessmeisters! Amusing, though. A 1903 Robert W. Paul film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ****.
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Better Reading
Better Reading . Teenager Harold Wilson has a problem—he can’t read for (expletive deleted). So he has to spend all his free time studying ...
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Better Reading . Teenager Harold Wilson has a problem—he can’t read for (expletive deleted). So he has to spend all his free time studying ...
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Amazone (film #16 in the Action section of Brickfilms . Also, film #17 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms . Also, film #9 in the Drama sect...
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