Allied Vise Tightens on Rhineland (film #49 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Newsreel from late World War II with stories documenting the Allied push towards Germany, aircraft carrier attacks on Manila, a general addressing a bunch of manufacturing bigwigs and giving an appeal for more Production for Victory, the need for more nurses’ aides to take over medical jobs on the homefront, and the opening of college basketball season. This is a historically-interesting slice of life from the late war years. Too bad it wasn’t better preserved.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Care of the Hair and Nails (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #272 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]
The Hair-and-Nails Fairy appears and tells us how she “helps” children by getting them to be compulsive about hair and nail care through the magic of film reversal. I thought initially we were getting into Evil territory, but she’s really only an Evil-Wanna-Be. She even admits that she often “helps” her victims by remaining invisible, revealing a severe lack of the shamelessness that is so fundamental to these characters. You wouldn’t catch Mr. B Natural or Soapy operating under a cloak of invisibility! And her only magical powers seem to be having a magic wand that makes guitar feedback sounds (which I’ll admit is a tiny bit evil) and the ability to reverse the film to make children do her bidding. But she lacks the fundamental mind-control powers of a Coily or a Chalky. She does show potential in her ability to get the first kid to wash his hands compulsively and to get the kid with ringworm to grin like a mindless idiot. But she needs more training and practice before she can join the ranks of the Bucky Beaver Society of Evil Sprite Characters. Nice try, but no cigar.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Community Growth: Crisis and Challenge (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #362 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
This 50s film, made by the National Association of Home Builders, decries suburban sprawl, proposing that it be replaced by planned suburban sprawl. Actually, that’s being a little bit mean, as the film is quite even-handed and balanced in making its points, even to the point of saying that much more research needs to be done before we can really say what the definite solutions will be. Their advice must have been taken to heart, as many of their proposed ideas, such as cluster-built housing developments (you know, the kind where the streets are all curvy and there are lots of circles and you can’t find your way back into the main traffic grid to save your life), cul-de-sacs, and townhouses were adopted all over the place. There’s lots of historical interest in this film, as it gives you a good idea of the city planning problems created by the suburban housing boom during the 50s. And it has lots of fun graphics, such as the guy pointing to a screen containing a big question mark, a meeting where one of the guys I swear is falling asleep, or a planner looking over a big subdivision map and looking really stressed out. Lots of stills for future art projects, I say.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Come Along Do! (film #15 on The Movies Begin, Volume Two: The European Pioneers (Kino Video, 1994)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
A colorful elderly couple enjoy their lunch sitting on a bench, then leave. I'm not sure what the point of this one was supposed to be. The title is great, though. An 1898 R. W. Paul film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: **.
Casper the Friendly Ghost in There’s Good Boos Tonight (film #12 on Film Chest Vintage Cartoons). [Category: Hollywood]
Casper cartoons are usually sickly sweet, but this one is unexpectedly dark and tragic. Casper makes friends with a little fox and they have lots of fun times together until the fox hunters show up. Casper manages to scare them away, but not in time to save the fox, who dies of a gunshot wound. Casper grieves pitifully until he realizes that, being a ghost, his friends don’t necessarily have to be alive, which gives you an idea of how the cartoon ends. I suppose this is supposed to be a happy ending, but it makes death look way too attractive. I wouldn’t show this to any kids who have a problem with depression, that’s for sure. Even kids who are reasonably happy would probably find this toon upsetting enough to make them cry. Have fun, kids!Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **** (though in a way that makes you cry rather than laugh). Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ****.
Combat Bulletin No. 33 (film #3 on tape #5 of This Film Is Restricted Boxed Set (Marathon Music & Video, 1997)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Yankee ingenuity is a running theme in this Combat Bulletin. In "School for Jungle Life," GIs learn how to survive on a tropical island, from finding food to building shelter, and it's nothing like "Gilligan's Island." In "Activities in the European Theatre of Operations", the Allies advance through western Germany, eventually taking Strausbourg. In "Island Icebox," resourceful GIs make a refrigerator out of parts scavenged from crashed airplanes. In "Acitvities in the Phillipines," we see gritty footage of jungle fighting, including an American reporter getting fatally shot. In "Strikes in Ormac and Manilla Bay," we see aerial footage of naval battles near the Phillipines. I like how ingenious the GIs are shown to be in this Combat Bulletin.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Breaking of the Crowd at Military Review at Longchamps (film #35 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]
OK, folks, show’s over! Time to go home now. A turn-of-the-century crowd slowly wanders through a sea of chairs and disperses, though one lady gets up on top of one of the chairs to look around. And are those Arabs I see, or just guys with their handkerchiefs under their hats? This does have a bit of historical value as a slice of turn-of-the-century life, though why Edison wanted to film the crowd after the show was over is anyone’s guess. A 1900 Edison film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
ABC-TV Sunday Morning Promo (film #16 on ToonTracker Cartoon Showcase). [Category: Commercial]
This is pretty similar to the Saturday morning promo, except it features the Sunday morning shows “Beany and Cecil” and that stalwart of Sunday mornings, “Bullwinkle”. If you were a kid during the 60s, this will probably bring back some Sunday morning memories, that is, if you ever got out of going to church.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Caged Virgins Trailer (extra on Dracula the Dirty Old Man/Guess What Happened to Count Dracula DVD (Something Weird, 2002)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
Trailer for a sexploitation horror movie that looks like it might be a little bit better than most in its genre. Granted, there’s lots of sleazy elements, but it also feels genuinely creepy in the way that a successful horror film should. This either means the film is better than you’d expect, or they got somebody really talented to make the trailer.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
How to Brake (film #50 in the Public Info. Films section of TVArk). [Category: Public Service]
Straightforward British PSA warning drivers against sudden braking. They could have had a lot more fun with this, I think.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
The Adventures of Spiderman: Arms of Love (film #230 in the Action section of Brickfilms. Also, film #322 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms. Also, film #105 in the Sci-Fi section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
If you’re expecting the plot of Spiderman II here, well, the film takes a few, ah, liberties. It does have some great acting, though (never thought I’d say that about a brickfilm) and the fight scene is pretty impressive. It even has a happy, though twist, ending! Not bad for a film constructed out of Legos.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ****.
Cameras Gone Wild (film #5 on News Bloopers DVD (Time-Life Video, 1999)). [Category: News]
This section of News Bloopers features flubs caused by the people running the cameras. This would work better without the silly sound effects and laugh track, though some of the saves made by the anchor people are pretty good. Mildly amusing, though not as funny as they think.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Allied Victory Parade (film #48 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Newsreel clip from the post-war period showing a parade in London celebrating the Allied victory in Europe, followed by the story of the recovery of stolen German crown jewels that were taken by an American soldier. This has mild historical interest as a slice of life from the days immediately following World War II.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Command Performance (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #357 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
This 1942 film, made by RCA Victor, shows us how 78 rpm records were made. It’s actually a pretty fascinating process, involving cutting an original wax disc, electroplating it into a metal master disc, making a stronger mother disc from the master, and making stamping discs from those. Mixing the shellac, stamping the records, and packing and shipping is also covered. This is one of the more interesting factory tour films out there, and since it covers an outdated technology, it has quite a bit of historical value as well.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Felix All Puzzled (film #5 on Felix the Cat DVD (Delta Entertainment, 2004)). [Category: Hollywood]
Felix goes all the way to Russia to help his master solve a crossword puzzle. There he discovers the Bolshevik’s plan for revolution, which ultimately helps him solve the puzzle and get his milk. This Felix toon doesn’t have him pulling things out of thin air, but it’s weird enough conceptually.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Brideless Groom (film #46 on Feature Films). [Category: Hollywood]
Shemp Howard stands to inherit $500,00 if he can get married in a few hours, according to the terms of one of those wills that only appears in the movies. Comic hi-jinx ensue involving him and Moe getting tangled up in a telephone cord, getting poked in the eye by a shaving brush, getting tangled up in piano strings, getting beaten up by a pretty neighbor he proposes to, and a huge battle of prospective brides. He finally ends up marrying the terrible singer from the beginning of the film, but it looks like $500,000 will be small consolation for him. This short has some funny moments, such as Moe and Larry getting caught in a clinch, and the final battle of brides is pretty bizarre, but mostly this is standard Stooges fare.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
The Boys Think They Have One on Foxy Grandpa, but He Fools Them (film #3 in the Comedy Sketches section of American Variety Stage. Also, in the Historical section of Open Video Project). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Psst! Hey, let’s give a banjo to Grandpa! Won’t that be a hoot? Oh no! Turns out he really can play! He’s making us dance!! Akk!! Oh no! Now he’s dancing himself!!! The horror! The horror! A 1902 Biograph film. P.S. That’ll teach ‘em to mess with Foxy Grandpa!Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
ABC-TV Saturday Morning Promo (film #17 on ToonTracker Cartoon Showcase). [Category: Commercial]
Primitively-animated early-60s promo for ABC’s Saturday morning cartoons, most of which seemed to consist of collections of old theatrical cartoons. You can see how much more sophisticated the animation was in the theatrical cartoons than the animation of the promo itself in the clips that they show. Still, the animation is in a cute style, making this mildly interesting to watch.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: SS. Weirdness: ¬¬. Historical Interest: ““““. Overall Rating: $$$.
Capitalism (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #271 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]
In this Coronet film, a group of high school students do a radio panel discussion show on the topic “What Is Capitalism?” But first they do a lot of arguing amongst themselves about what the most important elements in capitalism are––an argument that could only take place in a Coronet film. Campiest is the example of private property given in the form of the grocer from whom they buy supplies for the class weenie roast. “We needed weenies. Mr. Brown had weenies, etc.” This is more Dick-and-Jane than Round and Round. Of course, the idea that American capitalism is the best economic system in the world is not questioned for a second, nor are any drawbacks to capitalism mentioned, though many benefits are. This is pretty much what you’d expect from a Coronet film tackling these issues, which means it’s pretty campy.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
The Blood of Jesus (film #506 on Feature Films). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
This religious all-black cast film from the 40s tells the story of Martha Ann Jackson, a young married woman with a no-good husband. Soon after she gets saved and baptized, she is fatally injured in an accident with her husband’s hunting rifle. Her soul is taken away by an angel, but at the last minute, God decides it’s not her time yet and lets her go back to the land of the living. There the devil sends his envoy, Judas Green, to lure her to the big city with fancy clothes. There, she goes nightclubbing and a friend of Judas’ offers her a “job,” but once she finds out what the “job” involves, she runs off to return to the straight and narrow path. Unfortunately, she is mistaken for another female “employee” who’s a pickpocket, resulting in many of the nightclub’s patrons taking off after her. At the point between Zion and Hell, she is confronted by the devil, but fortunately, having been saved, she has Jesus on her side, who not only repels the devil, but the angry nightclub patrons as well. Like most all-black cast films I’ve seen, this film is a confusing mix of authenticity and stereotypes. Ultimately, though, the sincerity of it won me over, enough to even make up for some of the aspects that bothered me, such as holding up the rural life as an ideal despite the fact that for most African-Americans at the time it was a life of grinding poverty. It’s obvious that a lot of care went into this, and that the occasional amateurish moments are more artifacts of an extremely low budget than of incompetence or lack of vision. And the music is great, both the gospel music of Zion and the jazz and blues of Hell.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Cockfight (film #6 on The Movies Begin, Volume One: The Great Train Robbery and Other Primary Works (Kino Video, 1994). Also, film #6 on The Art of Cinema Begins (Video Yesteryear, 1997)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
This is one of the more visually striking of the early films. There's something mesmerizing about the slowed-down movements of the fighting roosters. The guys in the background are kind of creepy, though. An 1896 Edison film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Elderly Pedestrians (film #22 in the Public Info. Films section of TVArk). [Category: Public Service]
Somewhat overdramatic British PSA warning drivers to be extra careful about not hitting elderly pedestrians. It ends up being effective, though, as it attempts to explain the difficulty such people have with crossing the street, and you end up empathizing with its main character.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
The Adventures of Diavo & Joe – Episode VII (film #229 in the Action section of Brickfilms. Also, film #322 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms. Also, film #69 in the Action section of Brickfilms. Also, film #105 in the Sci-Fi section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
Two geeky Lego guys discover a portal that leads into the Star Wars universe, or the Lego version of the Star Wars universe, anyway. There they have some confusing adventures while exchanging witty bon mots. The animation is somewhat blocky, but some of the special effects are nice. But I have to admit I had a hard time following this.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
California (film #112 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: News]
Light-hearted newsreel clip from the 50s honoring the 20th anniversary of the first transpacific flight of the China Clipper. This is followed by a breezy story about summer fashions and a cute story about a children’s zoo. Must have been a slow news day. This does have a real 50s feel to it, being a slice of the optimism of that time.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Allied Convoy Battles Axis (film #47 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
British newsreel footage about a Allied ships battling Axis planes. Lots of big guns and explosions in this. Also, another story about British royalty touring Scotland, inspecting a fire brigade and a daycare center. A British slice of life from World War II.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Color It Clean (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #348 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
This film, made by the University of Illinois at Urbana, is a tribute to the janitors who clean up the bathrooms every evening. The film shows one janitor carefully and meticulously cleaning every surface of the men’s room he’s assigned to, while several janitors speak on the soundtrack about the challenges of the job and how they try to do the best job they can. This is done so sincerely and realistically that only the most callous among us could find anything funny about it. Hey, it’s not a job I’d care to do, so my respect for janitors has gone up several notches, meaning this film is quite successful in its purpose. This is a quite unusual film that gives you a real sense of what a particular job in a particular place and time was like, giving it a great deal of historical value as well.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Combat Bulletin No. 32 (film #2 on tape #5 of This Film Is Restricted (Marathon Music & Video, 1997)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
In "Activities in the European Theatre of Operations," we get a rundown on the deactivation of various landmines. This footage is quite interesting, though a little hard to watch when you think about how these are real live mines they're handling. In "Vosges Mountain Front," Nazi soldiers are flushed out of various villages. In "Snapshooting Course for Jungle Fighters," we see soldiers learning to shoot at anything that moves in the jungle. In "Italian Front,” we see more slogging through the mud. And "Fighting in Warsaw Suburbs" features quite violent scenes of street fighting. A fairly standard Combat Bulletin with some interesting moments.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Billion Dollar Limited (film #31 on Feature Films). [Category: Hollywood]
In this Fleischer Superman cartoon, Superman must save a runaway train full of gold bullion from some bad guys who are doing their level best to rob it. Lois Lane is in the thick of things, as usual, but this time she gets to take some pot shots at the bad guys with a machine gun, as well as trying to stop the train by pulling the emergency brake. Superman eventually saves the day by manually pulling the cars full of gold to the mint––I guess if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. As usual, the graphic design is beautiful. I’m not a superhero fan, but I must say these Fleischer Supermans are impressive.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Fashion Horizons (film #506 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Hollywood]
Several Hollywood starlets take a bright and breezy vacation in the southwest, while a bright and breezy narrator breezily describes their trip to us, describing every outfit each woman wears in great detail and occasionally throwing in a plug for TWA. Somebody should have shot the writer, though, because there's a fine line between breezy and stupid, and the film's narration repeatedly crosses that line, especially when dealing with native Americans ("One little, two little, three little Indian girls!" exclaims the narrator over a shot of three grown native American women), ancient historical relics ("Her adobe coat blends in with the adobe walls of this ancient structure"), or scenic wonders ("Doggone it! What adjectives are there to describe this magnificent view of the Grand Canyon?"). The visuals provide some historical value, as they provide rare color scenes of 1941, but if you're going to use this for archival footage, cut out the narration and the cheesy music soundtrack, OK?Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Boys Diving, Honolulu (film #17 on America at Work, America at Leisure. Also in the Historical section of Open Video Project). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Some boys dive into the ocean from a wooden spit that sticks out over the water, in a thoroughly unsafe but probably very fun way that would never be allowed today. Hey, you kids get down from there! You’ll break your necks! A 1902 Biograph film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
ABC Afterschool Special Promo (film #84 on ToonTracker Cartoon Showcase). [Category: Commercial]
Artistically-animated end-of-season promo for "ABC Afterschool Specials" during the 70s. This is pleasant to look at, but pretty much what you’d expect.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Anti-War Demonstrators Storm Pentagon (film #61 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
Newsreel story documenting a huge protest and sit-in in Washington DC against the Vietnam War. The smarmy comment by the narrator at the end of the segment that the demonstration proved “everyone a loser” shows the mainstream attitudes towards the anti-war movement at that time. An important document of the 60s protest movement. Tacked on the end is a dull story about a German airplane.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Driving in Fog (film #19 in the Public Info. Films section of TVArk). [Category: Public Service]
Clever and well-made British PSA warning drivers of the dangers of driving in fog by likening it to a child’s game of Blind Man’s Bluff. Effective.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
The Adventures of Batman (film #70 on ToonTracker Cartoon Showcase). [Category: Ouutakes & Obscurities]
Opening to the 60s Saturday morning cartoon version of “Batman.” Pretty cheesy, though there are some amusing lines, such as “Bane of Gotham’s kooky criminals!”Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Baby Boom (film #4 in the 1950s: Blast from the Past section of WPA Film Library). [Category: News]
Breezy newsreel clip about the high 50s birthrate, featuring a cool display that automatically kept track of the US population––definitely an item for the Film Ephemera Museum of Quirky Devices. Beyond that, this contains the typical footage of crying newborns.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
All Nations Shaken by War Crisis (film #46 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Jumbled, fragmented newsreel clip from the early days of World War II. Included are scenes of FDR and other government bigwigs meeting to discuss the crisis, French bigwigs meeting in France to discuss the crisis, Neville Chamberlain smiling while British royalty attend displays of Scottish games and dancing and the commonfolk prepare for war, masses of soldiers goosestepping in Germany, Mussolini rousing the Italian masses, Russia displaying military might, and German troops rolling through the streets of Czechoslovakia. The soundtrack is only in tiny, sparse fragments, with the rest lost, I guess. This makes the footage pretty confusing, but the period being documented is so historic that it has value anyway.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Can Animals Think? (film #3 on Those Naughty Animals DVD (A/V Geeks)). [Category: Educational]
Various simple animal behavior experiments are performed while a rather silly narrator gives his views of what these animals may be thinking. This appears to be made by the same people responsible for Ant City and Bee City, only this film is a lot more low-key and less manic than those two others. I like it better this way. It results in a film that’s mildly weird and mildly amusing.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Color Harmony for Your Home (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #347 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
This 50s film presents a complicated system for choosing paint colors, as well as the colors of everything else in the home, so that the housewife need not rely on her own judgment and risk ending up with a room that’s not “tasteful”. All the colors presented are muted and sick-looking, but that’s the price you pay for being tasteful. That being said, the film is full of great examples of 50s furniture that any self-respecting vintage shop owner would groan over today, and which probably sells for thousands on eBay. My favorite, though, is the colored telephones (Wilbur, where are you when I need you?). Watch for a great scene of the ubiquitous 50s housewife in the film redecorating a room by simply painting over the wallpaper. And listen for lots of great lines, such as “Colorizer creates color order out of confusion,” or “Dial the color harmony of your creative tomorrow!”Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
The Clockmaker's Dream (film #9 on More Melies (A-1 Video). Also, film #10 on The Origins of Cinema, Volume 6: Rare Films (Video Yesteryear, 1997)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
He dreams of three pretty women who keep turning into clocks when he tries to get close to them. I think somebody's been working too hard. As always for Melies, though, the film is lively and creative. A 1903 Melies film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
The Adventures of Popeye (film #19 on ToonTracker Cartoon Showcase). [Category: Hollywood]
This is the Popeye version of Betty Boop’s Rise to Fame. A live action little boy buys a Popeye comic book, then gets beaten up by a bully, causing Popeye to appear and show him the fight scenes from a bunch of his cartoons, I guess by way of instruction. I don’t enjoy Popeye cartoons for the fight scenes generally, so this isn’t as fun as it could be. But the ending is great, featuring the little boy eating a jumbo can of spinach and then knocking the bully over the housetops.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Combat Bulletin No. 30 (film #1 on tape #5 of This Film Is Restricted Boxed Set (Marathon Music & Video, 1997)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Mud, snow, and rain bog down the Allied advance in this combat bulletin. In "Activities in the European Theatre of Operations", a key Nazi battleship is bombed by the RAF near Norway. Bad weather and smoke bombs make this difficult but eventually the ship is sunk. In "Front Line Steel Production", we see steel beams being produced by a Luxembourg steel mill near the front lines. In "Bombed Belgian Rail Networks", we see RAF footage of the aftermath of bombings of Belgian rail lines. Some of the twisted wreckage looks like new forms of art. In "Allied Armies Face Rain and Snow", General Eisenhower inspects troops despite snowy and flooded conditions. In "Rains Slow Allied Armies", Allied troops in Italy battle mud and flood waters more than Nazis. In "Burma Operations", lots of mules are delivered to the front lines (which looks like quite a job––some of them fall off a ferry despite being tied on!), where they are needed as pack animals. We also see timber being cut and processed in the jungle. Mud and mules make this one kind of fun.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
The Boxing Cats (Prof. Weldon’s) (film #34 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Apparently, filmed animal abuse didn’t start with Chevrolet Leader News––they were doing it back in 1894! Two cats in tiny boxing gloves duke it out, while their owner gleefully looks on. Actually, this is pretty arresting footage, though PETA won’t like it. An 1894 Edison film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
All About Eve Trailer (extra on The Ghost and Mrs. Muir DVD (20th Century Fox)). [Category: Commercial]
Bette Davis fans should enjoy this trailer, as she dominates it, though Anne Baxter and Celeste Holm also get in a few bitchy moments. The movie claims to be “All about women––and their men!” but it’s the women we see here, with tongues sharper than any man’s sword. Lots of fun if you like this sort of thing.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Angel’s Wild Women Trailer (extra on Dracula vs. Frankenstein DVD (Troma)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
Very brief trailer for a 70s exploitation pic featuring tough chicks, one of whom sports a whip. This would be campy if it was longer.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Community Fly Control Operations (extra on Godmonster of Indian Flats DVD (Something Weird, 2001)). [Category: Public Service]
Stark public service film from the 50s about controlling flies in small communities. The community of “Jonesville” has a problem––on the surface, it seems squeaky clean, but the constant swarms of flies reveal a seething cauldron of filth under the nice exterior. This would be good David Lynch material, except the film is so starkly made, in grainy black-and-white with narration throughout, that it’s boring. The scenes of huge clouds of insecticide being sprayed everywhere are fairly jaw-dropping, but the rest is dull as dishwater, which, by the way, you shouldn’t be dumping on your plants if you don’t want your house sprayed by masses of chemicals.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
The Accident (film #227 in the Action section of Brickfilms. Also, film #320 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
A short, very amateurish Brickfilm about a guy who attempts suicide by jumping out of his office window. He doesn’t die, but he does cause a number of pratfalls. This almost has the feel of a kid’s pretend game, and it’s not quite funny enough to pull it off. Still, since it takes lots of time and effort to make these things, I’ll be nice and hope this director gets better with practice.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Britain Mourns: Soccer Champs Die in Plane Crash (film #103 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: News]
Newsreel story from the 50s about a plane crash in Germany that killed most of a champion British soccer team. This is pretty ordinary, but tacked to the end is the beginning of a story I really want to see: one about an old army tank demolishing a house. Unfortunately, it cuts off before the good stuff starts.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Air Victims Come Home (film #39 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Short newsreel story from the post-war period about the arrival of the bodies of five American airmen who were shot down over Yugoslavia when their planes went off-course during a storm. Lots of patriotic narration about heroism here, from what seems to have been a tragic accident, but I guess when you die while serving in the armed forces, you die for your country.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Famous People at Play (film #30 in the Documentary section of Movieflix). [Category: Hollywood]
I expected this newsreel featurette, made in 1935, to be filled with footage of Hollywood stars in relaxed moments. There's some of that, but it's really more of a general survey of famous people from the 30s, including sports heros and European royalty. Most poignant are the scenes of the royal figures pursuing various sports and recreational activities, seemingly unconscious of the looming shadow of WWII. Most amusing is a scene of W. C. Fields goofing around on trapeze rings, obviously being held up from the bottom. This is a lot better than I thought it would be. It has a great deal of historical interest, particularly in terms of it being a snapshot of pre-war Europe.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Coffee Break (film #342 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
Jim has a problem. His boss is upset about how workers find a way to tack on lots of extra minutes to their coffee breaks with such unnecessary activities as talking, smoking, going to the bathroom, and, oh yeah, getting coffee. Since Jim is the personnel manager, the boss hands the problem off to him, demanding that he make the workers limit their breaks to 10 minutes on the nose, or else! To intimidate Jim more, he gives him a “gift” of an hourglass that measures 10 minutes and orders him to use it twice a day at coffee break time while he spends exactly 10 minutes thinking of the solution to the problem. The boss especially has a problem with women, lambasting them for spending time in the ladies’ room touching up their appearances (though I’ll bet if any of the women failed to do this, they’d be written up for poor appearance). Not considered is the fact that the workers seem to have to leave the building entirely and patronize a local diner with table service in order to get coffee, something that probably takes a lot more time than 10 minutes. Jim solves the problem by using his 10 minutes to get coffee with a buddy, along with a few extra minutes to have a cigarette and go to the bathroom. This management training film is a lot of fun, with a boss you love to hate and workers who gleefully get as much out of their coffee breaks as possible. The message of wasted time is undercut by the fact that the boss is portrayed as such a control freak with no sympathy for the worker’s position, so that even though the workers are essentially schmoozing on company time, you take their side just to thwart that boss. It ends with a Centronesque “What would YOU do?” ending. I’ll get back to you on that after I go get some coffee.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Beyond Bengal (film #25 on Feature Films. Also, film #11 in the Documentary section of Movieflix). [Category: Hollywood]
This 30s nature adventure documentary is the Asian version of Africa Speaks. It’s somewhat less offensive than the other film, since the natives are treated respectfully for the most part (with the exception of a romantic couple that stages a silly wedding) and at least some of the animal killing does not seem to be gratuitous. This actually looks like it was quite dangerous to make, as there are tigers, leopards, panthers, pythons, and stampeding elephants around every turn, and there are some actual scenes of people getting seriously injured by them. Most upsetting is their treatment of the monkeys––in one scene we see one get captured and humiliated seemingly only because it was annoying, though they do tell us they let it go later (I think they do––it’s hard to tell because there’s a cut in the soundtrack at that point), and in another scene we see a monkey almost being squeezed to death by a python. Granted, that’s nature for you, but since they go on to tell us that they rescued the monkey and kept it for a pet, the amount of time we see it getting squeezed by the python seems gratuitous. This film certainly doesn’t meet today’s standards for animal treatment, environmental practices, or cultural sensitivity, but it moves. And it gives us a peek into the wild jungles of Asia back in the days when wild animals were really abundant, giving the film historical value.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Buying Food (film #7 on AV Geeks. Also, film #10 on The Educational Archives, Vol. 8: Social Engineering 201 DVD (Fantoma, 2003)). [Category: Educational]
Straightforward Centron home ec film about getting the most from your food dollar. This is fun because it shows lots of 50s food products and 50s supermarkets. And just because it’s a home ec film, a genre I particularly enjoy. Also fun is the opening and closing theme music that sounds like Centron hired the organist at the local roller rink to do it. Beware of impulse buying, or you might end up like the bad example in this film, with a dinner consisting of oysters, rutabaga and stale cake.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Bowery Waltz (film #33 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]
A couple demonstrates a dance for us, said dance looking like either the dancers are participants in the last round of a dance marathon, or under the influence of alcohol. I suspect it’s the latter, and the title is meant to be a joke, but don’t quote me on that. An 1897 Edison film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
An Affair to Remember Trailer (extra on The Ghost and Mrs. Muir DVD (20th Century Fox)). [Category: Commercial]
Classy, well-made trailer for An Affair to Remember, starring Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr. These two stars are great fun to watch, so the trailer wisely lets the scenes speak for themselves with a minimum of commentary. It’s nice to see scenes from a good movie for a change.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
A Clever Dummy (film #43 in the Silent section of Movieflix). [Category: Early Film & TV]
A pair of mad scientists create an android version of Ben Turpin––now that's what I call mad! Unfortunately, the real Ben Turpin is also in the film and the expected havoc ensues when the two are confused. A mildly fun and wacky Keystone farce. A 1917 Keystone film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ****.
Adland: Opening, George Lois (film #9 on Media Burn Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
Opening of the film Adland, featuring singing McDonald’s hamburger puppets (you know how I feel about singing and dancing food, folks…), a Pontiac men’s choir, and commercial director George Lois, talking about what it’s all about for him. This makes me wish they had put up the whole film, rather than just excerpts from it.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Combat Bulletin No. 28 (film #2 on tape #4 of This Film Is Restricted Boxed Set (Marathon Music & Video, 1997)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
This one is pretty standard, with a few interesting moments here and there. In "Activities in European Theatre of Operations", we see fierce fighting in Holland. In "Glider Pick-Up at Eindhoven", all those gliders that were dropped on Holland in previous segments get picked up using a clever hooking device which allows a pick-up without the plane landing. In "Air Force Fighter Kills", we see aerial combat footage over Europe. In "Liberation of Greece", the Greeks enthusiastically welcome Allied troops and celebrate the defeat of the Nazis. In "Activities in Burma", we see Chinese doctors treating the wounded in a very makeshift jungle hospital, including some very graphic scenes of abdominal surgery (don't watch this one while you're eating, folks). In "The Naval Battle of the Phillipines", we see Navy combat footage from said battle, including lots of animated sequences detailing the strategy used.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Driver Fatigue (film #18 in the Public Info. Films section of TVArk). [Category: Public Service]
Straightforward British PSA warning drivers about falling asleep at the wheel on long car trips. Good thing, it’s short––I was starting to feel a little drowsy myself.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Accident at Crystal Café (film #21 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
Uhhh…something happens in a restaurant that seems to be on the deck of a ship in choppy waters. I think it may involve food poisoning. This brickfilm is so poorly lit and animated, and has such soft sound I really couldn’t make heads or tails of it.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: **.
Breaking News (film #2 in the News section of TVArk). [Category: News]
Clip from a news break-in from Sky News on a football team being disciplined for misconduct. This is appropriately chaotic, but too short to be of much interest.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Air Smashes Devastate Germany (film #38 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Newsreel story about American air raids on Germany during World War II. This mostly involves lots of things being blown up real good, including Wittenburg, home of Martin Luther, the narrator tells us. Guess it’s rubble now.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Coca-Cola Bottling Plant, Arabia/North Africa (film #341 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
From our International Ephemera Department, we get this factory tour film about bottling Coca-Cola in some Arabic country, completely narrated in Arabic. It’s fairly standard factory tour fare (though why they chose to include an extended sequence on making burlap bags I don’t know), until the end, when we find out that polite, well-heeled folks in this country enjoy going out to nightclubs in the evening and drinking Coca-Cola while singing along to a catchy advertising jingle. I don’t remember this from geography class.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Young Man's Fancy (MST3K Episode #610: The Violent Years. Also in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #1723 on Prelinger Archive. Also, track #30 on Ephemeral Films CD-ROM (Voyager) (excerpts)). [Category: Industrial]
Teen-aged Judy falls head over heels for her older brother's friend Alexander Phipps––he makes her feel "squishy"––but Alex is too obsessed with electrical appliances and time and motion study to notice her. So Mom comes to the rescue, helping Judy plot a "nice little conspiracy" involving a nice home-cooked meal made in their all-electric kitchen. This film was made by a group of electric companies, and no opportunity was missed to plug electrical appliances. A very ripe piece of 50s camp.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Msting: ***. Overall Rating: *****.
Bees’ Buzz (film #20 on Feature Films). [Category: Hollywood]
Wacky Mack Sennett comedy from the early sound era involving an elopement, a chase by an angry father and a rival suitor, a cow costume, a car stalling on the railroad tracks, a justice of the peace in a steam cabinet, some golfers, and a beehive that goes down the rival suitor’s pants. Many of the individual gags fall flat, but the overall silliness of the proceedings and the fast pace make this pretty amusing anyway. There is a real 20s feeling to this film, which is rare in a sound film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ***.
False Vases (film #5 on Felix the Cat, Vol. 1 (Video Resources, 1994)). [Category: Hollywood]
Felix breaks a Chinese vase at home and fears the wrath of his cranky wife. So, naturally, he gets his dog to dig a hole to China so he can get a new one. This is one of the weaker Felixes, but it's still pretty fun in places. My favorite moment is when Felix transforms four snakes into a sort of pipe organ. Lots of mileage (literally) is gotten from the Chinese guys' long pigtails and several laws of physics are routinely broken. Felix finally returns to his side of the world with an acceptable vase, which he immediately breaks, starting the whole cycle over again.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Bicycle Safety (film #2 on AV Geeks). [Category: Educational]
Dry Centron bicycle safety film containing rules, rules, and more rules for riding your bike. There are a few amusing moments of examples of what not to do, and the overall environment is very representative of 50s suburbia, but mostly this is pretty tedious.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Boston Blackie (film #6 on Side A of Disc 5 of TV Favorites DVD Megapack (Treeline Films, 2003)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Episode of an early 50s crime show based upon a radio program. Detective Boston Blackie helps an old ex-con friend of his beat a robbery rap really committed by his brother. This is standard crime show fare, and rather cheaply done as well, though Blackie’s black fenderless convertible is cool.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Angels with Dirty Faces Trailer (film #1 on Disc 1 of The Adventures of Robin Hood DVD (Warner Bros., 2003)). [Category: Commercial]
Fairly standard trailer for the gangster pic Angels with Dirty Faces. No surprises here, but it is representative of the trailers you might have seen in a theater when The Adventures of Robin Hood was playing.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Adland: McDonald’s Commercial (film #8 on Media Burn Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
Another clip from Adland, this one showing us the filming of a McDonald’s commercial. The guy who plays Ronald McDonald is interviewed, as well as the director of the commercial and the man in charge of the campaign. They are shown enjoying their work, and viewing this type of advertising as subtle and sophisticated. This is not quite as strange as the Adland clip featuring Mason Reese, but it’s still fairly interesting.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Bus Nut (film #6 on AV Geeks). [Category: Educational]
A little girl is a “bus nut”––that is, she’s obsessed with the school bus and following all the safety rules. Amazingly enough, this doesn’t get her beaten up by the other kids. This is a very 70s film, with all the right enlightened 70s casting choices. The main character is African American, the kids are different races, and the bus driver is a woman. Other than that, this could be a 50s film in its heavy-handedness and unrealistic portrayals of children (at least the “good” ones––the “bad” ones seem pretty real). And the acting will make you wince. Making this a fairly campy blast from the 70s.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Don’t Run (film #16 in the Public Info. Films section of TVArk). [Category: Public Service]
Very brief 70s PSA that purports the interesting idea that you shouldn’t run down the street and around a corner, because construction workers actually do walk around with huge plates of glass for people to run into, just like in every slapstick comedy you’ve ever seen. A curiosity.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ****.
Abracadabra (film #20 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms. Also, film #4 in the Music Video section of Brickfilms. Also, film #5 in the Sci-Fi section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
A Lego guy does a really bitchin’ magic act until the Alien Police arrive and arrest him for practicing magic without a license. The makers of this film probably got busted by the Brickfilm Police for using––gasp!––PLAY-DOUGH for the alien heads. I’ll forgive it, though, because it is a genuinely funny film with several good lines, an easily impressed Lego audience, and cute alien heads.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Breakfast Time Special: Zeebrugge Tragedy (film #1 in the News section of TVArk). [Category: News]
Opening of a BBC special report on a 1987 Belgian shipwreck. This is most interesting for the programs the clipped British announcer says are being preempted: a gambling show and a children’s program! Other than that, this is ordinary.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Circular Panorama of Electric Tower (film #39 on American at Work, America at Leisure. Also, film #65 on Edison Film Archive. Also, film #2 on The Last Days of a President. Also in the Historical section of Open Video Project. Also, film #6 on The Origins of Cinema, Volume 1: The Films of Thomas Edison (Video Yesteryear, 1995)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Surrounding the electric tower is a lot of striking neoclassical architecture. I wonder how much of it still stands. A 1901 Edison film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Air Forces Come Home via Bomber (film #37 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Wartime newsreel featuring stories about airmen coming home from Europe after V-E day, though only to train and prepare to go to the Pacific; Secretary of State Stettinius proclaiming the Four Freedoms; Herbert Hoover being consulted by Truman for advice on distributing food to war-torn Europe; a one-armed baseball player; and grisly fighting on the island of Okinawa. Apart from the one-armed ballplayer, this is pretty standard wartime fare.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
A Coach for Cinderella (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #339 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
Not satisfied with just fooling around with newsreels (see the endless permutations of Chevrolet Leader News), Chevrolet had to go and make a cartoon, too. Actually, this is pretty charming. It features a bunch of elves from the wrong fairy tale who decide to help out Cinderella by making her a coach from a pumpkin, a turtle shell, some caterpillars, and lots of other stuff from the forest. They assemble the coach in a way suspiciously similar to an automobile assembly line. Then they put it into a great contraption called a “Modernizer”, and out comes––wait for it––a brand new Chevrolet! This could pass for one of the many fairytale-themed cartoons made during the 30s, and its advertising message is not too heavy-handed. Making this one of the more fun examples of the industrial genre.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Combat Bulletin No. 24 (film #2 on tape #3 of This Film Is Restricted Boxed Set (Marathon Music & Video, 1997)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
This is mostly about the Allied advance in Germany. In "Channel Coast Activities", the Army Air Corps bombs German merchant vessels in the English Channel. In "Ordinance Repairs", tanks are repaired (that's it, really). In "German Frontier Operations", several U.S. armies advance across the German frontier. In "Additional Film Airborne Operations", more paratroops and supplies are dropped on Holland. There's an interesting little clip from a camera strapped to a paratrooper's chest (making you want to shout "Jane! Stop this crazy thing!!"). In "Toulon Harbor Installations", we are shown various captured German installations near Toulon, Italy. In "Invasion of Palau Islands", we see Air Force and Naval footage of said invasion, including footage of bombing, naval maneuvers, and the building of an airstrip on a captured island. One of the more ordinary Combat Bulletins.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Be Good to Me (film #1 in the Film section of Bedazzled. Also, film #3 in the Video section of Bedazzled. Also, film #1 on Scopitones). [Category: Hollywood]
Petula Clark sings a pop ditty that urges her lover to be good to her. She sings this while riding in a boat towing a male waterskier. Then she goes to the wharf and hangs out with the fishmongers. OK, the ditty is cute and sincere, but the visuals in this Scopitone make you wonder what is really going on in this relationship.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Bicycle Clown (film #2 on AV Geeks). [Category: Educational]
A boy poorly narrates the story of his younger brother Jimmy, a kid who clowns around on his bike in order to impress his peers and thinks safety rules are for sissies. Since this is a Sid Davis film, he is punished for this by getting into an accident which results in him getting gauze wrapped around his head, his arm in a sling, and being confined to a hospital bed. Jimmy’s brother becomes obsessed with finding out why this happened, even though it’s obvious from the beginning that Jimmy is an idiotic daredevil. This is one of the tamer Sid Davis films, though.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Why Play Leap Frog? (film #3 on An American Retrospective Through Animation (Moviecraft, 1994). Also, in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #1681 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
What plays leap frog are wages and prices in a capitalist economy, as this film patiently explains to its Meet King Joe-like hero, an employee at the Dilly Doll Company who gets upset after getting a raise and then finding out the price has gone up on his own company's product (this must have been the days before employee discounts). The explanation given for inflation is that labor costs so darn much. Essentially, the doll's higher price is directly attributed to worker Joe's raise, a depressing message to the workers this film was aimed at. But a way out is presented in the form of technology––advances in manufacturing technology increase productivity and this supposedly keeps wages ahead of prices. I don't know much about economic theory, but this seems awfully simplistic and convenient to business owners. Besides that, the film has the patronizing tone of Meet King Joe. I doubt if many workers really bought this.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ***.
A Bolt of Lightning (film #2 on Side A of Disc 1 of Historic Classics DVD Megapack (Mill Creek Entertainment, 2005)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Charlton Heston stars in this “Studio One” Revolutionary War drama. It tells the story of Boston attorney James Otis, who tried to have writs of assistance, which were documents that allowed hired goons to break into people’s houses and perform destructive searches on a whim, declared illegal in the colonies. The bid is unsuccessful because the judge is in the governor’s pocket. Not only that, but the governor sends his hired goons to beat up Otis, who ends up with a serious head injury. This was supposed to have made him crazy, but it really only seems to slow down Heston’s overbearing performance a little bit. Anyway, the people get fed up and go to war, Otis helps them out a bit, they win, and Otis dies of the title bolt of lightning. This is not too bad for live drama done on primitive sets, but I’m guessing the better “Studio One” episodes are yet to come. More fun are the Betty Furness commercials about Westinghouse appliances––the turkey roaster she demonstrates is the exact same kind of roaster I remember my mother using to cook the thanksgiving turkeys of my childhood.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ***.
Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy Trailer (film #2 in the Movie Trailers section of Bedazzled). [Category: Commercial]
Standard-issue trailer for Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy. Some mildly amusing moments from the film, as well as some hyperbolic ad lines, are included. Mostly this is ordinary, though.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Evicted to the Poor Farm by Her No-Good Son-in-Law (film #1 in the Our Gang on TV section of TVParty). [Catgegory: Hollywood]
Clip from a 1929 Our Gang short, in which Grandma is threatened with being sent to the poor farm by her son-in-law, who swindled her out of her money. This causes the Gang to attack the man, knocking him to the floor and beating on him en masse. This is not something you’d see in films today. The beginning of the clip, which sets up the situation is incredibly tear-jerking, while the battle with the kids is just plain bizarre. A great example of the weirdness of the Our Gang series.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Adland: Dagne Crane, Mason Reese (film #7 on Media Burn Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
Clip from a 1972 underground film about the people involved in making television commercials, featuring a pretty actress who says she does it because she’s a masochist, and Mason Reese, cute, chubby-cheeked star of many 70s commercials. You may not remember his name, but the minute you see him, it will all come rushing back to you. Off-camera moments reveal him to be way more world-savvy than any 7-year-old ought to be, making fun of the product and carrying on like any self-involved adult star. A fascinating behind-the-scenes look at the commercial section of TV Land.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
The Bus Driver (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #264 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]
Straightforward Encyclopedia Britannica film for kids about drivers of long-distance buses. We see a boy and his father go on a long-distance bus ride, and a narrator explains what is happening. About as gripping as, well, a long-distance bus ride.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Amber Gambler Twins (film #2 in the Public Info. Films section of TVArk). [Category: Public Service]
British safe driving PSA on a “We have met the enemy and he is us” theme. An “amber gambler” is somebody who thinks the yellow light means “accelerate so you can beat the red light,” instead of “prepare to stop.” One such bloke gleefully amber gambles until he meets another amber gambler that bears a striking resemblance to…d’oh!! Mildly amusing.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
About a Different Door (film #18 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
This response to About a Door proves that some things really are what they seem to be. Mildly amusing, though it could be funnier.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Children Digging for Clams (film #11 on The Movies Begin, Volume One: The Great Train Robbery and Other Primary Works (Kino Video, 1994). Also, film #11 on The Art of Cinema Begins (Video Yesteryear, 1997) (titled "Children Fishing for Shrimp")). [Category: Early Film & TV]
So are they digging for clams or fishing for shrimp? I call shrimp. Another children's picture-book image. An 1896 Lumiere film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
BBC Election Night (film #19 in the News section of TVArk). [Category: News]
Clip from BBC coverage of the 2005 British election. I was expecting tedium here, but was surprised––this is a great deal of fun, actually. A hyperbolic, yet very British, anchorman promises “to be fast, to be accurate, and to have a bit of fun along the way.” Then we see footage of election workers running around with boxes of ballots, and the co-anchors are given a chance to make hyperbolic pronouncement. Everything is very properly British, of course, so it all comes off as a bit silly. I’d rather watch this than American election night coverage any day.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Adm. Kimmel Testifies on Pearl Harbor (film #31 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Newsreel from the early post-war period featuring stories on Adm. Kimmel testifying in a hearing concerning the attack on Pearl Harbor (he maintains that being let in on certain intelligence information held by the White House would have prevented some loss of life); the United Nations electing a president (Mr. Spock wins––really!); General Eisenhower telling us when the boys will finally be able to come home (he says soon); a British train wreck that killed 10 people, and was the third such wreck in a week’s time, sullying British Rail’s pristine safety record (1’ll say!); a boat show featuring some bizarre floats (Hello, Mr. Sun1); and a speed skating competition (lots of skaters fall down). All in all, it’s a fairly ordinary newsreel, with some mildly amusing moments, giving us a snapshot of what things were like in 1946.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Combat Bulletin No. 23 (film #1 on tape #3 of This Film Is Restricted Boxed Set (Marathon Music & Vidoe, 1997)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Mostly combat footage on this one, with a few interesting moments here and there. In "E.T.O: German Installations", we are shown a number of cleverly camouflaged German installations, including a gun emplacement disguised to look like a movie theater (talk about cinematic bombs!) and an aerodrome disguised to look like a quaint, peaceful village. In "Pacific: Invasion of Morotai Island", we get to see GIs waterproofing their jeeps' and other vehicles' engines with a truly disgusting-looking asbestos paste (not to mention the waterline on General Douglas MacArthur's pants). "B-29s in Operation" is just what is says. The other segments, "5th Army Pierces Gothic Line", "E.T.O.: Allies Capture More French Ports", "Capture of Le Havre", "E.T.O.: Allied Armies Drive on Germany", "American 1st Army" and "British 2nd Army", are all basically just combat footage.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Bookkeeping and You (film #8 on AV Geeks). [Category: Industrial]
This early Coronet film goes through a high school bookkeeping class and gives the reasons why all the students are taking it. This mostly involves students needing to know how to keep the books in various family businesses, meaning that their parents probably made them take the class. We get to see the parents of these students use bookkeeping in various Mom and Pop businesses, a girl who is learning bookkeeping because she wants to become a stenographer and perhaps get promoted to secretary in an office full of male accountants, and the rich kid being forced to take the class so he won’t squander the family fortune, while his Mom checks up on the accuracy of the figures reported by the treasurer of her women’s club. Dick York is wasted in a cameo role, though it is a hoot to see him attempt to be a farmer. And the kid who wants to be a politician is realistically obnoxious––he probably went far in his chosen career. This is not one of Coronet’s best, but because it is by Coronet, it’s a lot more fun than it could have been given its subject matter.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
A Video Tour of the Rudolph Wurlitzer Mfg. Company (Hollywood's Attic, 2000). Also, film #1615 on Prelinger Archive ("A Visit to Wurlitzer")). [Category: Industrial]
This early 20s film takes us through the process of manufacturing one of those big, elaborate organs that used to be in movie theaters during the silent era. It goes all the way from kiln-drying the lumber to installing the organ in a new San Francisco picture pallace. One fun scene features a comparison of the biggest and smallest pipes in the organ. The biggest is several stories high and big enough around that a man can sit comfortably inside of it. The smallest is about the size of a pencil. Many parts of the organ are made with huge machines, while others are carefully hand-built. This is another early industrial film that gives us a fascinating view of another era.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
A Me Piace Celentano (film #1 in the Cinebox section of Bedazzled. Also, film #4 in the Film section of Bedazzled. Also, film #6 in the Video section of Bedazzled. Also, film #4 on Scopitones). [Category: Hollywood]
Wacky Italian (I think) Scopitone featuring a geeky boy with a huge pencil (shut up, Freud!) trying to do his math homework. Now I don’t understand Italian, but I think the point here is that he much prefers twisting with girls about twice his size and one and a half times his age to doing math. Of course, for all I know (Warning: Ethnic Stereotype Ahead!) this could be how the Italians actually teach math. I will say that for a geeky math whiz, this kid dances a mean twist.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: *****.
The Electric House (film #8 on Side 2 of Disc A of Comedy Classics DVD Megapack (Treeline Films, 2004)). [Category: Hollywood]
Buster Keaton plays a recent college grad who gets his diploma in botany mixed up with another grad’s diploma in electrical engineering, and, as a result, gets a job installing electricity in a rich man’s house. He bones up for the job by reading Electricity Made Easy, and thus is able to install lots of clever electrical devices in the man’s house, including an electric stairway, an electric billiards rack, and an electric train that serves dinner. Since this is Buster we’re talking about, though, it’s only a matter of time before everything begins malfunctioning, and to add to the problems, the real electrical engineer shows up and takes his revenge by going into the little room with all the wiring and messing up all the connections. I love films that are full of clever electrical gadgets and this does not disappoint, though it’s hard to tell which is funnier––the devices themselves or watching them malfunction.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
BBC1 Junction Into Welsh Programme (film #2 in the Schools section of TVArk). [Category: Educational]
This starts as a boring clock graphic, with a clipped British announcer telling us the next program will be in Welsh and “only on certain transmitters.” Then, in case we’ve forgotten it’s the 70s, we get to hear the Bee Gees sing “Night Fever.” After a bit, a psychedelic graphic appears, then one of the standard mesmerizing countdown clocks, while the music switches inexplicably to the Pink Panther theme. OK. I only wish they had added a bit of the Welsh program in order to tip the scales on weirdness for this one.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Beverly Hills Uplift Society (film #1 on Burns & Allen, Vol. 3 DVD (Television Classics)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
This early episode of “The Burns & Allen Show” just screams early tv, with its Carnation “from contented cows” opening. The show itself is very funny, as it showcases Gracie’s illogical logic. Gracie’s club, The Beverly Hills Uplift Society, has been locked out of their clubhouse for failing to pay the rent. This is because Gracie, the club’s treasurer, took the $120 earmarked to pay the rent and spent it on a $120 safe to keep it in. This is only the beginning of such ditzy shenanigans, of course. I think what I love about Gracie is that she is gleefully clueless about the havoc she wreaks, and somehow things always manage to work themselves out. The show is charmingly close to its radio roots, with George periodically giving monologues, and Harry Von Zell working the commercial for Carnation milk right into the plot. The show is quite well-preserved considering its age, and the fact that it’s on a bargain $1.99 DVD that comes in a cardboard envelope.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: *****.
The AA (film #2 in the Adverts section of TVArk). [Category: Commercial]
Very 70s singing commercial for the AA, which I take to be the British Automobile Association. Charmingly inoffensive, though I must point out that we Yanks get three A’s in our similar organization. I do think the AA plates that go on the front of the cars are cool, though.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
The Bully (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also film #263 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]
Chick Allen, a high-school kid who spends his time bullying a bunch of grade school kids, makes big plans to bust up the class picnic, even though he’s invited too. He forces all his little victims to go along with his plans. Fortunately, one of them tells his older sister, who is on the picnic planning committee. She tells the rest of the kids in the class and they secretly change the location of the picnic, then stupidly send Chick a note after he and his victims show up at the original picnic site inviting him to come to the relocated picnic. When Chick and his victims show up, Centron asks us, “What do you think?” This is one of the most amateurish Centron productions I’ve seen. The acting is universally horrible, with the actors’ charming Kansas twang not bailing them out this time. The plot is bizarre, with a setup that bears no resemblance to real bullying, except in the infliction of pain and fear in the victims. Still, this makes the movie quite campy and ripe for msting.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
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Better Reading
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