Capture of Boer Battery by British (film #54 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Another bunch of Boers shoot at the British until the British overrun them. This one features a whole bunch of Scotsmen in kilts. I didn’t know the kilt was used as a battle uniform. A 1900 Edison film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
The Bird with the Crystal Plumage Trailer (extra on Horrors of the Black Museum DVD (VCI Entertainment)). Also, film #32 in the Trailers section of Movieflix). [Category: Commercial]
This trailer for the Italian horror movie The Bird with the Crystal Plumage actually makes the film look pretty scary and suspenseful, making it one of the more successful trailers I’ve reviewed. Of course, it looks like they had a pretty good film to begin with, but that doesn’t always make a good trailer, so I give this one credit for making me shiver.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
The American Ruse (film #172 in the Video section of Bedazzled). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
That great early 70s band, the MC5 play “The American Ruse” on a TV show called “The Lively Spot.” The lyrics have great counterculture angst, the lead singer’s afro is a sight to behold, the lead guitarist has some great facial expressions, and the dorky host announces Anne Murray at the end. A great blast from the early 70s.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Millions of Us (film #916 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]
This 30s film tells the story of a homeless unemployed worker and his depressing life on the street. Relief is not available to him because he’s a transient, he sees rich people feeding their pets while he goes hungry, and even the mission is closed for the day. Eventually, he responds to a job notice for a factory where the workers are on strike. He tries to cross the picket line, but is knocked down by the angry striking workers. One of the workers understands the guy’s plight and he takes him back to the outdoor kitchen that fixes meals for the striking workers and gives him a good meal. While the homeless guy eats, the sympathetic worker explains why the strike is necessary and why scabbing hurts everybody. His pitch is effective, for the homeless guy decides to join the picket line afterwards. This film is unfortunately missing its soundtrack, but it’s so well made you have no trouble following the story without it. It’s a good thing it was preserved anyway, because it is a moving film that makes its points well and doesn’t overplay its hand. It’s a rather tall order to convince homeless desperate people not to take jobs in order to avoid “scabbing,” yet I found the film to be pretty convincing anyway. The film is also a great historical document of the labor movement of the 30s.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
The French Campaign, 1944 (film #24 in the WWII section of Movieflix. Also, film #3 on World War II, Vol. 8: D-Day, the Normandy Invasion (Madacy Video)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
This March of Time short documents the Normandy Invasion and the campaign across France to Paris. Pretty standard.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Anyone’s Milk (film #36 on Open Source Movies). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
This film documents a random act of kindness. Somebody marks a bottle of milk with the legend “THIS IS THE MILK FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE NONE – ANYONE’S MILK” and a box of tea bags with “THIS IS FOR EVERYONE & PEOPLE WHO DON’T HAVE ANY TEA.” Then he puts the milk in the refrigerator and the tea in the cupboard of an employee breakroom full of food packages marked with peoples’ names. We don’t see what happens to the milk and tea, but I bet they didn’t last long.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Hawaiian Hula Song (film #1386 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Hollywood]
This is fairly subdued for a soundie. It features a singer with a guitar singing a hula song while a woman in a grass skirt dances the hula and a steel guitar player provides backup. That’s it, really. Play this at your next tiki party.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
England (film #165 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: News]
Brief newsreel story about the retirement of the grand old ocean liner, the Queen Mary. This has some historical interest for nautical fans, but it’s pretty ordinary.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
The Air War on Japan (film #3 on Side B of Disc #2 of the War in the Pacific section of Combat Classics DVD Megapack (Mill Creek Entertainment, 2006)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
This documentary covers the US bombing of Japan, focusing on B-29 attacks and ending with the dropping of the first atomic bomb on Hiroshima. This is mostly combat-focused, but there are lots of striking visuals of bombing raids, burning buildings, strategic briefings of pilots, and of a huge map of the Pacific in a strategy center. Again, this has lots of historical interest, primarily because of its visuals.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Crossroads U.S.A. (film #7 on AV Geeks). [Category: Industrial]
This oil-industry sponsored film from the 50s shows us a group of people who are stranded by a storm in a gas station. One of them is Andy, a young man who just turned down a job offer by the gas station owner because he is disillusioned by the opportunities available to a young, working-class person like himself. Another stranded person just happens to be an oil prospector who just made a big strike. When Andy calls him “lucky,” he disagrees, telling him that it took a lot of hard work, money, and discouraging failed attempts before he made the big strike. Just when the storm clears up, another stranded person who just happens to be a hold-up man, gets out his gun and prepares to get money the easy way. He attempts to recruit Andy to a life of crime, but Andy attacks him rather than cooperating. The hold-up guy is eventually overpowered and turned over to the police, and this somehow convinces Andy to take the gas station job and to have faith in individual initiative again. This is another attempt to sell the idea of individually-based capitalism to the masses, and a rather lame one at that. Although the oil prospector’s tale sounds fairly convincing, it’s hard to translate all the money he must have had at the outset to engage in such a speculative venture to Andy’s minimum wage job at the gas station. I don’t wholly object to the idea of individual initiative, but when you consider the source of a film like this, its message becomes hard to swallow.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Une Boom Chez John (film #195 in the Video section of Bedazzled). [Category: Hollywood]
This French Scopitone features a rockabilly singer, and believe me, you haven’t lived until you’ve heard French rockabilly. There’s a reason Elvis wasn’t born in France, and this guy is gleefully unaware of it, which only makes this more entertaining. It is lively, though.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Anti-Drug Film (film #4 in the Hippies section of WPA Film Library). [Category: Educational]
This excerpt from an unnamed 60s anti-drug film is well chosen, for it contains most of the elements necessary for such a film, such as a narrator who tells us the different street names for marijuana and LSD, scenes of teenagers partying, a bad trip, and a boring guy in a lab coat telling us about the dangers of LSD for teenagers. Since the WPA Film Library never posts whole films, this is about as good of an excerpt you’re likely to get of this genre, though I wish they had named the film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
A Day at the Fair (MST3K Episode #608: Code Name Diamond Head. Also on Disc #4 of The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection, Vol. 3 DVD (Rhino). Also, film #400 on Prelinger Archive.). [Category: Educational]
O.K,, class, because of the rain, we're not going outside for recess today. Instead, we're going to watch this fun film about a farm family that goes to the county fair! Just as fun as it sounds. The msting improves things somewhat, though.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Msting: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
The Big Idea (film #1 on Open Source Movies). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Segment from an early TV show that presents and pitches the Wuerth Tube Saver, a device that attaches to a TV set and extends tube life. This is very creaky and slow-moving, and it advertises a dead technology, but that just makes it more fun. An interesting blip from TV’s past.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Enoch Arden (film #3 on The Origins of Cinema, Volume 5: Griffith and Lubin (Video Yesteryear, 1997)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
This romantic tale, based on a Tennysson poem, is a lot better than you'd expect it to be, given its period. Enoch Arden must compete with Philip for the affections of pretty Annie, but Philip eventually relents when it becomes clear to him that Annie really loves Enoch. Annie marries Enoch and they have two children, but Enoch is unable to provide for his family very well, so he takes up an opportunity for finding riches on a sea voyage. Unfortunately, he ends up shipwrecked on an island. Annie waits valiantly for her man for many years, but eventually agrees to marry Philip for the sake of her children. At first it is only a marriage of convenience for her, but she eventually develops affection for Philip after she bears a child with him. Not long afterward, Enoch is rescued from the island, overjoyed that he can be reunited with his family. But he is a bedraggled old man with a long white beard and some unpleasant surprises to face on the homefront. He is heartbroken to find out that Annie has wed another, but when observes how happy she is with her new family he gallantly decides not to tell her of his return. Instead he dies alone in a cheap room (sniff! sniff!). Really, it's surprising to find out how genuinely touching this film is when so many others of its time were so over-the-top with the melodrama. The acting is excellent and Griffith seems to have gotten down the basics of clear storytelling. This film is a good example of D. W. Griffith at his best. A 1911 D. W. Griffith film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: *****.
Freedom Comes High (film #4 on Americans in War (NFV, 1990). Also, film #10 on The Educational Archives, Vol. 5: Patriotism. Also in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #560 on Prelinger Archive.). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
A Navy wife worries about her husband, off fighting the Axis. He is eventually killed in battle, but not before sending her a message that defending freedom sometimes requires that lives be sacrificed, and that he will always be with her in spirit, whatever happens. When she gets the dreaded telegram from the Navy Department, she holds back her tears and carries on. This seems to be targeted at people who have lost loved ones in the war, telling them to keep going despite their loss. One wonders how well it was received by that audience––the makers were lucky that most Americans supported the war and knew why such sacrifices had to be made, because this is an awfully large and bitter premise to swallow. And although the young wife depicted bravely chokes back her tears and reassures us that she and her baby will be O.K., we're not totally convinced of that––they seem awfully vulnerable. Not maudlin enough to be campy, though it is somewhat unsettling.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ***.
Billy Blastoff TV Commercial (film #1 in the TV Commercials section of Bedazzled. Also, film #30 in the Video section of Bedazzled). [Category: Commercial]
TV commercial from the 70s for Billy Blastoff, an electronic astronaut toy. “Now he walks!” the narrator crows, and we see him walk just as slowly as astronauts on the moon. He also has several different moon vehicles his battery pack can propel. The focus is on showing the toy, which is good, because the toy is very cute.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
The Big T.N.T. Show Trailer (film #70 in the Film section of Bedazzled). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
Trailer for one of those mega-concert movies they were so fond of making during the 60s. This one features a wide assortment of artists from Petula Clark to Ray Charles to the Byrds to Bo Diddley. And is that Frank Zappa in the audience? A fun blast from the 60s.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Mental Hospital (film #915 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]
This 50s film, made by the Oklahoma Department of Mental Health, tries very hard to make its state mental hospitals look friendly and not intimidating, but it doesn’t wholly succeed. It tells the story of Fred Clanton, a guy who began to believe his wife and brother-in-law were conspiring against him. He is committed to the state hospital in short order by a judge, where he is diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and given insulin shock treatments. He gets better eventually, begins to participate in the hospital’s recreational therapy programs, gets a hospital job as a groundskeeper, and eventually gets to go home, where he is no longer suspicious of anyone and is grateful to the hospital for his treatment. Much is made of the hospital’s facilities, which are all huge and institutional. Much is also made of the therapeutic benefits of patients working at various jobs at the hospital, enough so that you start to wonder after awhile whether or not some exploitation might be going on. The positive-sounding narration fails to overcome the visuals, which tend to confirm most stereotypes about mental hospitals. The film does give a fascinating portrait of mental health treatment during the 50s, which was the heyday of treating mental patients in big institutions.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Havana-Madrid Show (film #646 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Hollywood]
There's Latin rhythms aplenty on this lively series of two soundies featuring Maya's Pan-American Orchestra. The first features a floor show Ricky Ricardo would have been proud of and the second features the lady from Fiesta Soundie singing about Cuban Pete, the King of the Rhumba Beat. Get out your maracas and prepare to rhumba, folks!Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
All the Kind Strangers (film #2 on Side B of Disc #7 of All Stars Collection DVD Megapack (Treeline Films, 2004)). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
This 70s TV movie features Stacey Keach as a guy who picks up a little boy on a lonely country road and ends up in a creepy farmhouse with a family of parentless kids who, with the help of some guns and vicious dogs, force him and a woman who stumbled upon them earlier to be their “parents.” The movie manages to create a suitably creepy inbred feeling, yet it never quite comes up with anything really scary, in that TV movie wimp-out fashion. The basic concept is compelling, yet it doesn’t really seem to be well thought out. The kids seem to want parents, even in the sense of having them discipline them, yet they can’t have that and be in charge as well, which also seems to be the case. The ending is schmaltzy and unrealistic, but what do you expect? The movie is drenched in 70s clichés, including a musical interlude where we hear a 70s folkie song on the soundtrack as the oldest kid wanders through a cornfield, a polyester shirt that Keach wears in the first scene that could stop traffic or inflame bulls, and Robby Benson in overalls with no shirt, playing an inbred farm teen (he’s also the one who sings the folkie songs on the soundtrack). All in all, this is a very typical 70s TV movie.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ***.
Election 2005 – ITV News (film #13 in the News section of TVArk). [Category: News]
Opening credits for 2005 British election night coverage on ITV News. More fancy graphics, more breathless pronouncements, and a even a Swingometer! Still, this is nothing that we haven’t seen before.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
The Air War (film #6 on Side A of Disc #2 of the War in Europe section of Combat Classics DVD Megapack (Mill Creek Entertainment, 2006)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
This documentary chronicles the air war in Europe, especially the US involvement in it. There’s lots of great archival footage here of air battles and briefing sessions of air corps units. The narration is somewhat disjointed, but the visuals here tell the real story, and it’s a compelling one.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Fire Dept. Demonstrations (film #1393 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
Various firefighting methods and devices are demonstrated in this silent firefighter’s film from the 1920s. Fans of fire, firefighting, and squirting water should like this. I liked the cool model 10-story building they used in one segment and want it for the Film Ephemera Museum of Quirky Devices.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Dating Do's and Don'ts (film #7 on Exploitation Mini-Classics, Vol. 1 (Sinister Cinema). Also, film #7 on Mental Hygiene (Blast Books). Also in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #399 on Prelinger Archive. Also, film #25 on Ephemeral Films CD-ROM (Voyager) (excerpts)). [Category: Educational]
A classic of film ephemera, not least for its title. Woody (stop that sniggering!) has the hots for Ann, so they go on a nice wholesome date to the Hi-Teen Carnival and have a swell time. They also show us what not to do on a date. Lots of mileage has been gotten from clips from this film. A less well-known section I think is worth mentioning is the part where Woody decides who he is going to ask on his date. He considers two other girls before Ann––one is rejected for being too snobbish, while the other is considered to be "not much fun". But you can't help but get the feeling that they are actually being rated according to social standing––the first being too high on the social ladder for an average guy like Woody, and the second being too geeky for Woody to be seen with. Loads of fun.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: *****.
Carousel Boreal (film #1 on The Cameraman’s Revenge and Other Fantastic Tales (Film Preservation Associates, 1993)). [Category: Hollywood]
A bear and a rabbit, who are obviously in love, ice skate and frolic in a winter scene, interacting with various other animals and a strange snowman. Eventually spring comes, and the scenery changes, along with the animals they interact with. Not much plot here, but the puppet animation is delightful to watch, with lots of neat little details and wonderful characterization.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (film #1 on Side A of Disc #12 of Historic Classics DVD Megapack (Mill Creek Entertainment, 2005)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
This episode of the drama series “Climax!” is an adaptation of the Mark Twain novel. It looks like they had to cut out a lot to fit this into a 60 minute TV drama, but what remains is a fairly exciting and fun story, involving Huck escaping from his drunk and abusive father, going down the river on a raft, meeting a couple of con artists calling themselves the Duke and the Dauphin, and foiling their plans to steal the fortune of a young woman he’s acquainted with. Considering this was live early TV drama with minimal sets, this was pretty well done, with John Carradine giving a rousing performance as the Duke. This also contains the original Chrysler commercials which introduce “The Forward Look” in car design. These are great fun, featuring stilted interviews with ordinary drivers, an animated calypso sequence, and the introduction of transistors to car radios. All in all, this is a great example of early TV.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
The Big Valley (film #7 in the 1966 ABC Fall Preview section of TVParty). [Category: Commercial]
Fairly standard promo for the western soap opera “The Big Valley”. Though it claims the show is in color, the promo is in black-and-white. This has some historical interest, but it’s pretty ordinary.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Beyond the Valley of the Dolls Trailer (film #91 in the Film section of Bedazzled). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
Campy, over-the-top trailer for the exploitation flick Beyond the Valley of the Dolls. No clip is longer than a few seconds and the narrator throws so much groovy lingo at you, he sounds like he’s totally winging it. Fun, but actually not surprising given the film it was advertising.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
An Englishman's Trip to Paris from London (film #16 on The Origins of Cinema, Volume 6: Rare Films (Video Yesteryear, 1997)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
An English tourist sees the sights of Paris and we get to see his home movies. Still, as these are home movies from 1904, they're pretty interesting historically. A 1904 Hepworth film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Mayor La Guardia Opens Red Cross Drive (film #318 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Public Service]
Mayor La Guardia urges, no, commands all New Yorkers to join the Red Cross in a voice that could peel paint. Then he signs a proclamation to that effect and hands it to Miss Red Cross, a nurse wearing one of those cool old nurse’s uniforms. A blip from charity solicitations of the 30s.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Formal Japanese Surrender (film #3 on disc #2 of Pearl Harbor: December 7, 1941 DVD)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Newsreel coverage of the formal Japanese surrender on V-J Day, ending World War II. It's pretty much what you'd expect, though it's also an important historical document.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Ants on a Banana (film #35 on Open Source Movies (in “100 Second Film Festival Entries”). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
Some ants crawl on a banana while we overhear one side of a phone conversation. The conversation might have to do with a breakup, so there may be some symbolism involving the ruined banana, but mostly this elicits a “huh?”Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Election 2005 – BBC News (film #12 in the News section of TVArk). [Category: News]
Opening credits for British election night coverage in 2005 on BBC News. This is dramatic and slick, but mostly pretty ordinary.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Africa: Our First Offensive (film #5 on Side A of Disc #1 of the War in Europe section of Combat Classics DVD Megapack (Mill Creek Entertainment, 2006)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
This documentary about the first US invasion during World War II may have been recently produced, though it’s kind of hard to tell. It does contain lots of great archival footage of the invasion of North Africa, as well as production and transport of war materials on the home front. The story is rather starkly told, without background music, but it goes into quite a bit of detail, giving this historical interest.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Happy Days (film #14 on The Cartoons That Time Forgot: The Ub Iwerks Collection, Vol. 1 DVD (Image Entertainment, 1999)). [Category: Hollywood]
A bunch of kids buy an old clunker car from a con-artist for 50 cents and it gives them a fair amount of adventure. The highlight is when they stop at a gas station and order the runt of the bunch (who they call "Pinhead”) to fill the tires with the air hose. Pinhead uses an air hose from a device marked "HELIUM––FOR DIRIGIBLES ONLY" (another item for the Film Ephemera Museum of Quirky Devices!). This, of course, causes the car to fly. Other than that it's an ordinary, mildly amusing cartoon.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Fire and Police Service (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #517 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
This vocational guidance film from the 30s goes over careers in firefighting and police work. The first half goes over how firefighters are trained, while the second half talks about the different kinds of police work available, such as walking a beat, traffic control, criminal investigation, and crime prevention (this last being touted as something that requires “policewomen as well as men”). This is all pretty straightforward, but it does give you an interesting snapshot of how police officers and firefighters were trained back in the 30s.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
A Car-Tune Portrait (film #5 on Disc #12 of 100 Cartoon Classics DVD Megapack (Treeline Films, 2004)). Also, film #5 on Disc #3 of 150 Cartoon Classics DVD Megapack (Mill Creek Entertainment, 2005)). [Category: Hollywood]
A lion orchestral conductor tries to tell us that his animal orchestra will perform serious classical music, eschewing the silly tomfoolery we’ve come to expect from cartoon characters, but you just know this won’t last. Fortunately, it doesn’t. An amusing Max Fleischer toon.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ****.
A Date with Your Family (film #27 on Ephemeral Films CD-ROM (Voyager). Also, MST3K Episode #602: Invasion U.S.A. Also, film #5 on Disc #4 of The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection, Vol. 2 DVD (Rhino). Also in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #4 on Our Secret Century, Vol. 3: The Behavior Offensive CD-ROM (Voyager). Also, film #395 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]
Are you afflicted with 50s nostalgia? If so, this film is a good cure. 50s kids are told in no uncertain terms that family harmony is their responsibility and is dependent upon good manners and "appropriate" behavior at the dinner table. A standard of perfection in family dining is shown that kids are expected to live up to every night! There is no room in the perfect family dinner for emotions, child requests of any kind, or any other kind of talk likely to stir the emotions. This kind of repression was the dark side of the "nice" families portrayed in sitcoms of the period. In fact, it's a lot like watching one of those sitcoms, only with a narrator constantly telling you that this is the only good way for families to be and if your family doesn't meet this standard, it's your fault. Appalling, and therefore fascinating. The msting is quite good––it couldn't help but be, considering the material they had to work with.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Msting: ****. Overall Rating: *****.
Capture of Boer Battery (film #53 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]
A bunch of soldiers, who look to be the Boers, shoot at an advancing enemy from a hill, until they are eventually overtaken by that enemy. One of the Boers gets shot and falls dramatically while a Scotsman in a kilt runs by. A historically interesting slice of the Boer War. A 1900 Edison film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
ABC (film #23 in the 1972 section of TVParty). [Category: Commercial]
Promo for the 1972 fall season on ABC, featuring kaleidoscope graphics and the “This Is the Place to Be” jingle. No scenes from the shows, though. The jingle is mildly catchy, but mostly this is ordinary.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
The Enchanted Well (film #4 on Marvelous Melies (A-1 Video)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
A dorky guy spurns a beggar from drinking from his well, so the beggar casts a spell on it. Soon the well is behaving in a most un-well-like way, such as spouting flames, growing to twice its size, and spewing forth pitchfork-weilding demons. Then things get really unbelievable as our hero is attacked by an early version of Cecil the Dragon (as in Beany &...). Melies was at his best with this kind of thing, especially when he focused on unbelievably silly hellspawn. A 1903 Melies film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
The Bedazzled Video Show #2 (film #21 in the Film section of Bedazzled). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
Fun collection of youth-oriented ephemera, including several TV commercials featuring the Monkees; an interview with the Sex Pistols on British TV in which they say things that wouldn’t have been allowed on American TV; a thoroughly appalling toy gun commercial which features gunslinging heroes on TV giving kids toy guns through the TV set and cops marveling at how realistic the toy guns are; a dorky Scopitone of Gary Lewis & the Playboys singing “Little Miss Go-Go”; the campy opening sequence from the AIP movie Riot on Sunset Strip, a commercial for the game Slap Trap (I remember that one from when I was a kid); and the Only Ones performing on BBC television. This collection of stuff is great fun for anyone who was a kid or teenager during the 60s or 70s.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Man of Action (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #886 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]
This animated film features an “average fellow” who meets the Devil (or his envoy, anyway), who has a plan to turn his nice neighborhood into a slum. The devilish character tells the homeowner all about the recent transformation of Paradise Gardens, a housing development that the homeowner’s grandfather used to live in, from a suburb to a slum, and how the homeowner’s neighborhood is right on schedule in his slum transformation book. The homeowner bucks the devil’s urban planner by stealing his book and going to the city council to try to get them to take steps to prevent the creation of further slums. Predictably, the council thinks the guy is a crackpot and throws him out, while the landlords buck for no change at all. However, when the homeowner uses the stolen book to accurately predict the fall of an old decrepit factory chimney, he gets public support, and the whole town ends up working together to drive the devil’s envoy out of town by fixing up their neighborhoods. This is a fun film to watch because the animation is well done, the visuals, especially of slums, are dark and striking, and the story is lively. It predictably oversimplifies the problems of urban renewal, but at least it emphasizes the importance of collective action being essential for any real change to happen, which is a change from many films of its period, which tend to blame individuals. The film has historical value in documenting the attitudes promoted by the early urban renewal movement. And, like I always say, you can’t go wrong with supernatural visitors.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
American Sportsman (film #25 in the 1972 section of TVParty). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
Blooper from the TV fishing show “American Sportsman,” in which our host contentedly eats his catch, talking about how good it is, until he orders the shot to be cut, because he can’t eat any more really bad fish. Mildly amusing, and will probably confirm suspicions about TV food.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Election 2001 – ITV News (film #11 in the News section of TVArk). [Category: News]
Long clip from the opening of British election night coverage on ITV news. The anchor, Jonathan Dimbleby (think that name would fly in the US?), tries hard to wow us with all the techno-goodies on the huge election night set, including a pretty cool-looking virtual reality setup where the announcer gets to wander around inside the charts that show the polling results. One of the more interesting recent election-night clips on TVArk.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Fighting Tools (film #7 on The Complete Uncensored Private SNAFU DVD (Image Entertainment, 1999). Also, film #11 on V for Victory WWII Cartoons & Shorts Show (Something Weird, 1996)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Private SNAFU is no match for a huge Nazi, for although he has superior weapons, none of them work properly because he failed to take care of them. This story is told, amazingly enough, musically, making this one of the wilder and funnier SNAFUs.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Big Three Confer (film #98 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
WWII newsreel documenting the meeting at Yalta of Roosevelt, Churchill, and Stalin. This has lots of historical value, telling of many other important personages who attended the meeting, and showing scenes of it. Also included are harrowing stories about massacres in Lubin, Poland and the devastation wrought by a tornado in Alabama and Mississippi. Then it suddenly and rather jarringly gets lighthearted, with stories about the Westminster Dog Show, a Boy Scout Jamboree, and the adoption of a 4-year-old Chinese war orphan by a GI unit. This last story, though meant to be cute and amusing, actually comes off rather disturbing, with scenes of the 4-year-old being showered and accepted into the ranks as a fellow soldier. All in all, this is one of the more interesting WWII-era newsreels.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *** (for the lighthearted stories, not the harrowing ones, which rate a N/A). Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Finding His Voice (film #514 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
OK, folks, I knew this would be a favorite the moment it started. It features not one, but two incredibly cute Mr. Product characters: Talkie, a cheery piece of sound film; and Mutie, a cranky piece of silent film. Mutie rudely breaks up Talkie’s act (a cute rendition of the “Anvil Chorus” on a xylophone) and demands to know where Talkie got his voice. So Talkie takes him to Dr. Western, who explains the sound-on-film process to him, and to us, in detail. This delightful animated film was made in the early days of sound, to explain the process to theater owners, which gives it lots of historical value. But historical value is not what appeals to me here––it’s the delightful characters of Talkie and Mutie, as well as Dr. Western, who veers dangerously close to being a mad scientist. The ending is a real hoot, but I won’t give it away. Suffice to say that I enjoyed this film from beginning to end. You can’t go wrong with Mr. Product characters as far as I’m concerned.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: *****.
Hair Dress Through the Ages (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #638 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Hollywood]
This featurette tries to cover the history of hairstyles and hats from caveman days onwards. Unfortunately, they suddenly run out of time around the 17th century. Still, they got a chance to show many outrageous and silly dos and chapeaus. It's narrated by the guy who did Ant City and Bee City, so there's plenty of winging it as well. A rather silly short subject.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Be-Bop-a-Lula (film #27 in the Film section of Bedazzled). [Category: Hollywood]
I didn’t know there was such a thing as French rockabilly, but here it is, right here in this Scopitone. Actually, the singer doesn’t do too bad at getting that rockabilly sound.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
The Dangerous Stranger (film #9 on Campy Classroom Classics, Vol. 2 (Something Weird, 2000)). [Category: Educational]
A policeman tells a bunch of schoolkids stories about some incredibly stupid kids who go off with incredibly suspicious-looking strangers at the drop of a hat. The first stranger actually says, "Hey, little girl! You're all alone! Wanna go for a ride?" We get to see another little girl literally taking candy from a stranger (the cop maintains that she was told not to do this but "forgot," but you're left wondering what planet she comes from). It's hard not to at least momentarily consider Darwin's laws of natural selection under these circumstances. For a Sid Davis film, though, this is incredibly kind and gentle. At no time does the narrating cop give into the temptation to mock or heap shame on the young victims whose stories he tells. Perhaps it's because this was made during the easy-going 70s. Speaking of the 70s, the clothing and hairstyles in this film are a real hoot.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Captain Nissen Going Through Whirlpool Rapids, Niagara Falls (film #7 on The Mechanized Eye disc of Unseen Cinema DVD Boxed Set (Image Entertainment, 2005)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Captain Nissen goes through the rapids, not in a barrel, but in a craft specially created for the feat, and Edison’s camera follows the craft as it is buffeted and turned over by the water. This is fairly exciting, especially with the dramatic music on the DVD soundtrack. We don’t get to see how Captain Nissen came out of it, though. A 1901 Edison Film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
The Big City Trailer (extra on The Penalty DVD (Kino Video, 2001)). [Category: Commercial]
Short silent trailer from the 20s for the Lon Chaney film The Big City. This has no clips from the movie, but it does have really stunning modernistic animation and graphic design, a little bit like the title cards for The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. This unusual design gives the trailer lots of historical value, as well as being a pleasure to watch.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Arnold Layne (film #76 in the Film section of Bedazzled). {Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
Short film from the 60s, possibly a Scopitone, featuring Pink Floyd doing strange things on a beach with a mannequin to their song “Arnold Layne.” This was from back when Pink Floyd was a psychedelic band, and this has that British psychedelic weirdness to it, even though it’s in black-and-white. A blast from the 60s.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Man Against the River (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Prject. Also, film #884 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]
This 30s film documents the severe floods in Ohio, Kentucky, and Arkansas when the Ohio river overflowed its banks, and the efforts of WPA workers to provide disaster relief. The task was a huge one, involving rescuing people trapped by the flood waters, setting up emergency hospitals to care for the sick and wounded, inoculating people against typhoid, distributing food, setting up refugee camps for the homeless, piling sandbags and building levees in places where the river had not yet overflowed, fighting fires and removing dangers to public safety, and engaging in cleanup efforts after the flood waters had receded, including disposing of hundreds of dead cattle before they could cause disease. There’s no film that portrays the “Dirty Thirties” more than this one; everyone seems covered with dirt and grime, all seem to be suffering in one way or another, and the constant reminders of the accomplishments of the WPA only remind you that the rescue workers were previously unemployed because of the Depression. The 30s must have been a terrible time; on top of the Depression, the Dust Bowl, and social unrest were widespread disasters like this one. This makes the film a fascinating portrayal of one aspect of one of the most trying times in our nation’s history.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
The Enchanted Sedan Chair (film #8 on The Movies Begin, Volume Four: The Magic of Melies (Kino Video, 1994)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
An enchanted sedan chair enables a magician to do lots of tricks involving fancily-dressed French people. I guess this was before the silk top hat became the standard. If you like silly camera tricks, you'll like this. A 1905 Melies film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Another Look (film #2 on Open Source Movies). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
Short experimental film made from clips from Prelinger Archive films. The sound and music also comes from the films. This is mildly weird, with some striking choices of images, some altered or slowed down for effect. It ends up as a fairly decent montage film, though nothing brilliant.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Anchor (film #2 on Open Source Movies). [Category: News]
This short documentary about the career and death of Peter Jennings has lots of great news footage in it, including the initial announcements of his death on both ABC and Fox news, 9-11 footage, and even footage from early in his career, when he was on ABC radio. The film is well made as a fond tribute to Jennings, without being overly sentimental. It’s just this sort of surprising film that I love to stumble across on Open Source Movies.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Big 3 & Berlin: Concern Mounts as Deadline Approaches (film #91 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
50s newsreel clip documenting arguments between Krushchev and Eisenhower over the status of Berlin, which had been divided in half in reflection of the status of East and West Germany. The clip from Eisenhower’s speech, in which he argues against general mobilization, has lots of historical value.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Financing the American Family (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #513 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
This film, made by the Household Finance Corporation in the early 30s, presents a middle class family that is struggling with debts. The answer for these people, amazingly enough, is supposed to be getting another loan. The bank turns them down, saying that they can’t afford to deal with small borrowers. Just as they begin to sink into despair, they turn on the radio, which by an incredible coincidence is broadcasting a detailed infomercial about HFC. They go to HFC, and after they determine that they’re good housekeepers and all-around nice people by giving them a home inspection, they promptly get the $300 loan they’ve been wanting, which was quite a chunk of change back in the early 30s. The wife asks what would happen if her husband died or they otherwise lost his income. The loan officer placates them by saying they wouldn’t expect them to “do the impossible” and as long as they’re paying what they can, it’ll be ok (but he puts none of this in writing, so good luck if hubby really does kick the bucket). This film just screams early 30s in the way it was made, and its cheesily and charmingly earnest in its propositions, which probably seemed even more outrageous to Depression-era audiences, many of whom were wiped out because of borrowing, than to people today. The family depicted, though, doesn’t seem to be very hard hit by the Depression, so maybe they were ripe for this kind of solution. I wouldn’t laugh to hard at the film today, though, considering how debt-ridden most of us are.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
The Fighting First (track #13 on WWII V for Victory War Bonds & Rallies Show (Something Weird, 1996)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
This film tells the story of the First Infantry Division, a large division of GIs that did most of the hard, mud-caked, slogging combat to defeat the Nazis in Europe. It's a pretty inspiring story, though otherwise this film is pretty ordinary.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Came the Brawn (extra on The Wizard of Oz DVD (BCI Eclipse, 2001)). [Category: Hollywood]
This “Little Rascals” short features a goofy wrestling match between Alfalfa and the Masked Marvel, who was originally supposed to be wimpy egghead Waldo (the only kid Alfalfa believes he can lick), but who really ends up being neighborhood bully Butch. The rules of wrestling are bent so far that they break, but you don’t care, because Butch is so unpleasant you want to see him get beat. This is a charming and mildly amusing short, with a few weird moments here and there.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Captain Gallant of the Foreign Legion – The Foreign Legion (film #5 on Disc #2 of Classic Kids’ Shows DVD Boxed Set (Genius Entertainment, 2004)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
This 50s action-adventure show would have us believe that a member of the French Foreign Legion is allowed to have a grizzled sidekick named Fuzzy and a kid named Cubby accompany him on his adventures. Never mind, this is basically an exotic French version of a kiddie western. The plot, involving a group of bank robbers, is pretty standard action-adventure fare, but it’s a real hoot to watch Buster Crabbe as Captain Gallant pretend to be a Latino criminal and mangle the occasional French word he has to say. And they included the commercials for Heinz ketchup, which are great fun––one of them has an animated chef helping out a housewife, while another has Cubby asserting that he eats ketchup on everything, morning, noon, and night. All in all, this is a fun blast from the past.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Bic Lighters (film #5 in The Most Memorable Commercials of the 1970s section of TVParty). [Category: Commercial]
Memorable, fun commercial for Bic lighters from the 70s that places the phrase “flick your Bic” in various silly situations, sometimes allowing it to sound suggestive. This is one I remember from the 70s, and it’s still pretty fun today.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
The Duke Is Tops (film #2 on Side A of Disc #3 of Classic Musicals DVD Megapack (Mill Creek Entertainment, 2005)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
In this all-black cast musical, Lena Horne plays Ethel Andrews, an up-and-coming singer who is romantically involved with her producer, Duke Davis. When a talent scout claims he can make Ethel a star, but only without Duke, Duke cuts off Ethel, falsely claiming he was paid off, in order not to hold her back. Unfortunately, Duke’s show is a flop without Ethel, and he is reduced to helping a friend of his beef up his medicine show. It turns out that Ethel is not so hot without Duke either, and it all ends happily with them successfully hitting the big time together. This is a well made and entertaining film, with few stereotypes, good acting, and fun musical numbers. The scenes of the medicine show give a fascinating look at a form of entertainment that was in its death throes during the 30s. Lena Horne had not yet developed her temptress persona, so it’s interesting to see her play a nice girl for once. All in all, this is one of the better all-black cast films.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Green Pastures (film #634 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Hollywood]
In this early claymation short, a cute horse gets harassed by a bee when he crosses a creek to what he thinks is a greener pasture. The horse's frantic attempts to get rid of the bee are very charmingly animated. A cute, mildly funny cartoon.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
A Magic Box (film #24 in the General section of the State of Israel section of Stephen Spielberg Jewish Film Archive). [Category: Public Service]
This 50s film documents an American teenaged girl named Hannah’s trip to Israel that she won for being the JNF Blue Box Champion; that is, collecting the most money for the Jewish National Fund in little blue coin boxes. The film begins in a very bright and breezy way, as she expresses her excitement about her trip and her celebrity status, and the Tel Aviv Blue Box Champion, a young boy named David, shows her the different tricks of the trade he uses to get people to contribute. The film gets more serious as it shows Hannah how the money is being spent in land reclamation and in helping develop pioneer settlements in the Israeli frontier. This is a fun film which also has an educational and promotional message that is not too heavy-handed. I liked seeing the little blue boxes and hearing their history at one point in the film. The film has historical value in documenting the fundraising practices of the Jewish National Fund during the 50s.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Anomalies of the Unconscious (film #2 on Open Source Movies). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
This experimental film was made by actually doing physical things to the film emulsion, such as scratching, dying, and experimenting with various chemicals. The result is a stunning abstract film, any of whose stills could stand alone as a work of abstract art. The soundtrack, by Negativland, harmonizes well with the images, as it is an abstract sound collage. All in all, this is an excellent experimental film, of a quality much higher than you expect to find on Open Source Movies.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Election ’97 – Sky News (film #10 in the News section of TVArk). [Category: News]
Dramatic opening credits for 1997 British election night coverage on Sky News. This features quotes from politicians and a giant spinning question mark which I want for the Film Ephemera Museum of Quirky Devices. That and the beginning of the clip, which features the nightly schedule, make this a little more interesting than the other election 97 clips.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Big News of 1941: The Editors of Universal Newsreels Present Dramatic Highlights of an Epochal Year (film #97 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
This end-of-year-wrap-up newsreel presents the top stories of a very eventful year, 1941. Included are stories about the Lend-Lease Act, Roosevelt’s election to a third term, acts of sabotage and strikes, the flight of Rudolf Hess to Scotland, the British takeover of Syria, the US takeover of Iceland, the sinking of the destroyer Kearny by torpedo, Russian victories against the Nazis, British victories in Libya, FDR buying the first war bond, Halie Selassie regaining the throne in Ethiopia, and, oh yes, the bombing of Pearl Harbor. This has a great deal of historical value as well as being interesting to watch. 1941 sure was an exciting year for news.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Festival in London (film #20 on National Archives). [Category: Industrial]
This 1951 film documents the Festival of Britain, the same world’s fair whose architecture was covered in Brief City. But unlike that other film, there are no dark post-war undertones here, only light and glorious color, dramatic orchestral music, and bombastic narration about the contributions of the British people to science and the arts. This makes it much more typical of the world’s fair genre, though no less enjoyable to watch. The film is well made and beautifully preserved, with lots of striking images from all over the fair. In fact, after awhile, the narration ceases in order to allow us to simply enjoy the visuals. I love a film like this, because it gives me a chance to experience what these old world’s fairs were like. This goes down as one of the better films in this genre, as well as standing in stark and fascinating contrast to Brief City.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Cad and Caddy (film #5 on Disc #6 of 100 Cartoon Classics DVD Megapack (Treeline Films, 2004)). Also, film #27 on Disc #3 of 150 Cartoon Classics DVD Megapack (Mill Creek Entertainment, 2005)). Also, film #14 on Disc #3 of TV Cartoon Classics DVD Boxed Set (Platinum Disc, 2005)). [Category: Hollywood]
Little Lulu torments a golfer in this cartoon. This is standard Little Lulu fare, with the exception of the ending, in which the golfer goes bonkers and digs his own grave, adding a dark note to an otherwise very ordinary cartoon.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Capsize of Lifeboat (film #52 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]
A bunch of people who have already been dumped into the drink flip over a capsized lifeboat. There! That’s better! Though this does make one wonder about the safety of lifeboats. An 1897 Edison film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
The Dangerous Stranger (film #378 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]
This earlier version of The Dangerous Stranger is a little less ridiculous than the later version, perhaps because it was made during the early 50s, when “don’t talk to strangers” wasn’t so ubiquitous. It’s also in murky black-and-white, and it seems to have been filmed in a bleak inner-city neighborhood that looks like it really is quite unsafe for kids. The campiest moment is the end, where Sid Davis hauls out silly caricatures of dumb kids getting into cars with and taking candy from strangers. These are a real hoot and definite items for the Film Ephemera Museum of Quirky Devices. Overall, there is something quintessential about this kid’s safety film, making it a necessary addition to any collection of educational films.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Beneath the Planet of the Apes Trailer (extra on Disc #2 of Planet of the Apes DVD (20th Century Fox, 2003)). [Category: Commercial]
This trailer for the first sequel of Planet of the Apes has all that you’d expect from a Planet of the Apes trailer: battling apes, mutants taking off their masks, a sexy mute woman, a doomsday device, and Charleton Heston shamelessly overacting. “A planet where apes evolved from men?” You decide.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Dracula and the Dirty Old Witch (extra on Dracula the Dirty Old Man/Guess What Happened to Count Dracula DVD (Something Weird, 2002)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
In this “adult” featurette (the quotes are necessary, believe me), Count Dracula prefers sleeping in the nude, likes tormenting chained-up naked women in his basement, and has a witch for an assistant who would be right at home in The Magic Land of Mother Goose. He finds his true love in the form of a bucktoothed blonde, but before he can make mad passionate love to her (in a manner of speaking; his words are a little less polite), the witch gets revenge upon him for treating her like dirt. The film is incredibly cheaply made, with atrocious acting throughout. Like Captain Bondage vs. Women’s Lib, this is really really bad, though apart from a brief scene of him tormenting one of his chained women, this is not nearly as disturbing as the other film. It’s more just plain silly, which is usually how sexual fantasies actually look when acted out, especially when the acting is this bad.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: BOMB.
Made in the U.S.A. (film #867 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]
This 30s film was designed to teach American citizens that foreign trade is vital to the American way of life. The film does this by telling a goofy story about a guy who goes to a general store and hears a cracker barrel philosopher spout off about how we don’t need to get anything from them there foreigners, ‘cause we can get everything worth having right here in the good ol’ U.S. of A. At this point, a traveling magician pitches his show by making some Brazil nuts disappear. The main character, though, has narcolepsy, and so he promptly falls asleep and has a weird dream where he and his wife are driving home with the magician, who makes everything imported from a foreign country disappear when he says the country’s name. Naturally, this makes the car fall apart, as well as getting rid of most of the groceries the wife bought. After waking up from the dream, the guy now sees the light about foreign trade, and can talk back to the local xenophobe, though it doesn’t do any good. I love this sort of supernatural visitor plot, though it’s unusual to find it in a government film. There’s also something charmingly old fashioned about the film, with its general store, cracker barrel philosopher, and confidence in American manufacturing. Not even a rube like the xenophobic guy would ever think to insist that everything good is made in America, considering how little is made here nowadays. I also love the old grocery products and the scenes of the car falling apart.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Another Day, Another Dollar (film #40 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
Repairing some strange machinery causes a Lego guy to get a nasty shock in front of his boss. Oh well, I guess that’s life in Legoland. The special effects here are pretty good, but the animation is really clunky, and the story leaves you scratching your head.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Election 97 – ITN (film #9 in the News section of TVArk). [Category: News]
Opening credits for coverage of the 1997 British elections on ITN. Other than the rather bizarre accent of the anchorman, this is ordinary.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Employees Leaving Lumiere Factory ["Sortie d'Usine"] (film #1 on The Movies Begin, Volume Two: The European Pioneers (Kino Video, 1994). Also, film #1 on Pioneers of the French Cinema (Hollywood's Attic, 1996)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Pretty much what the title says. Lumiere & Co. sure employed lots of folks. Still, since this is one of the first films of any kind ever, it has some historical interest.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Big Four’s Peace Meet Open Again (film #96 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Another post-war newsreel about a peace conference among delegates from the Big Four nations. This is basically just an announcement of the meeting and brief mention of some of the issues on the docket to discuss. Also included are stories about the celebration of 100 years of peace between the US and Canada, and about Juan Peron coming to power in Argentina. This is a fairly ordinary post-war newsreel.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Felling Forest Giants (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #508 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
This 20s silent film shows logging and lumber cutting practices in the Pacific Northwest, including the felling of giant redwoods. This is quite interesting from a historical perspective, since the film has a raw, rough quality that convinces you that you’re seeing the real deal. Interest is added by showing some of the more esoteric parts of the lumberjack’s job, such as shoeing the oxen, though their general treatment of the beasts might upset animal lovers. All in all, this is a mildly interesting portrait of logging practices during the 20s.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ***.
Busy Bodies (film #12 on Laurel and Hardy DVD (Hallmark Home Entertainment, 2003)). [Category: Hollywood]
This classic Laurel and Hardy short should have been shown as an industrial safety film, since the duo demonstrates the consequences of violating every safety rule in the book, such as: Don’t lean over the work table while your buddy is planing wood; Don’t roughhouse around the chip disposal chute; and Don’t drive your car through a bandsaw. Of course, the biggest safety rule violated is Don’t hire Laurel and Hardy to work in a sawmill. It’s this kind of classic comedy that healed Norman Cousins; the gags are perfectly timed and I laughed almost without stopping throughout.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: *****.
The Fightin' U.S. Marines (film #11 on WWII V for Victory War Bonds & Rallies Show (Something Weird, 1996)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Marine boot camp is shown highly idealized and with a gung-ho spirit. It all looks like great fun, though tough, sort of like a beefed-up summer camp for adults. Of course, that was the point––to encourage recruitment, as well as build up good feelings for the Marines among the general public. This is propaganda, folks.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Canoeing on the Charles River, Boston, Mass. (film #28 on America at Work, America at Leisure. Also in the Historical section of Open Video Project). [Category: Early Film & TV]
A bunch of pleasure boaters go out canoeing on the Charles River. There are so many of them that they form a bit of a traffic jam at one point, but it eventually clears. No surprises here, just canoeing. A 1904 Edison film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Belair Commercials Compilation #5 (film #167 on UCSF Tobacco Industry Video Collection). [Category: Commercial]
This group of early 60s Belair commercials features a couple frolicking on the beach, enjoying the good fresh air, and then ruining it all by inhaling tobacco smoke into their lungs. Again, the ridiculous “Breathe Easy, Smoke Clean” jingle is featured. At the end are some bumpers from the “Mr. Lucky” program. This is campy, dorky fun.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Grass Diet (film #2 in the Makeovers, Diets & Fitness section of WPA Film Library). [Category: Hollywood]
British newsreel footage from the 40s about a woman who eats a health food diet consisting of grass, accompanied by raw fruits and vegetables. They actually show the woman picking the grass from a vacant lot. Since the footage is in black and white, the grass looks dirty, even after she washes it. Nowadays, of course, it would be laden with pesticides. I don’t care how much it might extend my life, I am not eating grass!!Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
The Door Is Open (film #12 in the Immigration and Absorption section of the State of Israel section of Stephen Spielberg Jewish Film Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
This 50s film, narrated in Yiddish, tells the stories of several immigrants to Israel, and how the process of absorption happens. It’s hard to follow because of the language barrier, but it still managed to hold my interest because it appears to be very well made, with many striking visuals of objects, such as keys, luggage labels with numbers on them, and ephemera from the Holocaust. The immigrants get to tell their own stories on film through interview footage; one of them speaks English, but, frustratingly, his comments are translated into Yiddish in voice-over fashion, making his original English comments impossible to hear. Despite the language barrier, you can tell that this is a very well made and interesting film, with lots of historical value in documenting the immigration experience in Israel.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Lucky Junior (film #860 on Prelinger Archive). ]Category: Public Service]
In this 40s film, sponsored by the Michigan Medical Society, John Rogers Jr. has just been born, and his doctor remembers that he also delivered his father, John Rogers Sr., years ago. This causes the doctor to marvel at how much easier it will be to protect Junior’s health than it was his dad’s, given that many infectious diseases such as whooping cough and diphtheria can now be controlled with immunization, and that prenatal care has improved. This was most likely a profound relief to parents and doctors of the time; those of us who were born when such immunization was routine can only guess how it must have been to fear that your child could be killed at random by any of a bunch of nasty diseases, and there was nothing you could do about it. Of course, parents today have lots of other things to worry about, and the benign portrait of the medical profession, especially in terms of treating the poor, certainly doesn’t apply today. The film has historical value in depicting a moment in medical history where some really bad diseases had finally been mostly conquered, and there seemed to be nothing medicine couldn’t do eventually.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Curious Habits of Man (film #3 on Best of Huh? DVD (A/V Geeks)). [Category: Educational]
A teen attends an adult party, presumably given by his parents, though it isn’t really clear, where there is a lot of drinking going on. Since this is boring, he sits down at the tv and watches a nature documentary. Pretty soon, he starts mentally comparing the extremely unattractive, drunk partygoers to the animals he sees on the documentary. This premise doesn’t really hold water, though, because the animals are far more classy and better behaved than the partygoers. If they wanted to make drinking look unattractive, though, they succeeded––you won’t find a more unattractive bunch of drunk partygoers in any other film. Considering that they are all members of the teen’s parents’ generation, though, I doubt whether this really had much impact on its intended audience, since they could just chalk it up to older people being square, whereas teens drinking would still be considered cool.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Anne Frank in Bricks (film #9 in the Action section of Brickfilms. Also, film #20 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms. Also, film #2 in the War section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
Oh, so it was all a dream, and Anne hid out from the Nazis in a “Benny Hill” episode. And Hitler was evil and German. That explains a lot.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: BOMB. Overall Rating: ****.
Election 97 – BBC News (film #8 in the News section of TVArk). [Category: News]
Opening credits for coverage of the 1997 British election on the BBC. This is not quite as impressive as some of the earlier credit sequences, for some reason. This is really pretty ordinary.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Big Four Turns Down Austria on Tyrol (film #95 on Universal Newsreels). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Post-war newsreel story about Austrians demonstrating at a peace conference in favor of having the southern Tyrol region returned to Austria. Tyroleans turned out for the demonstration in their traditional costumes, which are kind of fun to see. Also included is a story about the swearing in of a new chief justice of the Supreme Court. A fairly standard newsreel from the post-war period.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Feeding Cattle in Winter (film #5 on Buckaroos in Paradise). [Category: Industrial]
Cattle Rancher Les Stewart narrates this 40s film that he made that shows how hay is spread for cattle to feed them in winter. It’s actually fairly interesting, as he explains some of the reasons horses are better than tractors for this task, and I wasn’t even aware that horses were still used for things like that. Also demonstrated is a large crane-like device that was used to load hay on to the wagon. This has historical value in documenting 40s cattle ranching practices.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Bride and Gloom (film #6 on Cartoon Explosion, Vol. 2: Finny Fiesta/Popeye’s Greatest Hits DVD (Front Row Entertainment, 2002). Also, film #20 on Cartoon Mania DVD (Front Row Entertainment, 2002). Also, film #42 on 50 Cartoon Classics DVD. Also, film #7 on Disc #1 of 100 Cartoon Classics DVD Megapack (Treeline Films, 2004). Also, film #7 on Disc #4 of 150 Cartoon Classics DVD Megapack (Mill Creek Entertainment, 2005)). [Category: Hollywood]
It’s the night before Popeye’s and Olive Oyl’s wedding, and Olive Oyl has a strange, disturbing dream about giving birth to twins that are basically miniature Popeyes and about as well-behaved as Woody Woodpecker or Little Lulu. This turns the dream into a nightmare, as you might expect, yet the strangest part of it for me was a moment during the dream wedding where Popeye had to down a can of spinach in order to be able to say “I do.” I couldn’t help but imagine at that point whether or not he would need spinach to get through the wedding night. This is a fairly weird cartoon, but it eventually devolves into a typical bratty kid cartoon, so it ends up not fully fulfilling its promise.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Cancelling Machine, U.S.P.O. (film #27 on America at Work, America at Leisure. Also in the Historical section of Open Video Project). [Category: Early Film & TV]
A postal worker runs a canceling machine on letters and stacks them in bunches so that another worker can pick them up and take them elsewhere. Every once in awhile, he smiles and looks aside, as if he is being teased or sharing in-jokes with other workers. Must be a fun place to work, that post office. A slice of life from 1903. A 1903 Biograph film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Belair Commercials Compilation #4 (film #165 on UCSF Tobacco Industry Video Collection). [Category: Commercial]
More Belair commercials from the early 60s. These all focus on Raleigh coupons and seem to feature a common theme of the woman getting the man to give her the coupon. These get rather repetitive after a bit, making them somewhat less entertaining than the other collections.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Elopement on Horseback (film #1 on The Origins of Cinema, Volume 1: The Films of Thomas Edison (Video Yesteryear, 1995)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
As our hero rescues his bride out the window and carries her away on horseback, a couple of other guys (comic relief, I suppose) tumble out the window after them, but are too busy tussling with each other to give chase. This is very short and poorly preserved, but I'd be willing to bet it's the first elopement scene ever filmed. An 1898 Edison film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
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Better Reading
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Better Reading . Teenager Harold Wilson has a problem—he can’t read for (expletive deleted). So he has to spend all his free time studying ...
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