Dracula and the Dirty Old Witch (extra on Dracula the Dirty Old Man/Guess What Happened to Count Dracula DVD (Something Weird, 2002)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

In this “adult” featurette (the quotes are necessary, believe me), Count Dracula prefers sleeping in the nude, likes tormenting chained-up naked women in his basement, and has a witch for an assistant who would be right at home in The Magic Land of Mother Goose. He finds his true love in the form of a bucktoothed blonde, but before he can make mad passionate love to her (in a manner of speaking; his words are a little less polite), the witch gets revenge upon him for treating her like dirt. The film is incredibly cheaply made, with atrocious acting throughout. Like Captain Bondage vs. Women’s Lib, this is really really bad, though apart from a brief scene of him tormenting one of his chained women, this is not nearly as disturbing as the other film. It’s more just plain silly, which is usually how sexual fantasies actually look when acted out, especially when the acting is this bad.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: BOMB.