Begin the Beguine. Latin dancing couple Varios & Vida dance to “Begin the Beguine” in this 40s soundie. Their costumes are beautiful and some of the dancing moves are impressive, but mostly this is pretty ordinary. Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Bees and Spiders. Another early silent classroom film, this one about bees and spiders. Beekeepers show us how bees live in the hive, get food, and reproduce. And, oh, did I say that animals are always fun to watch? Not spiders—they’re creepy. Though they do hold your attention. Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.

Beer Outtakes. This is billed as a series of outtakes from a 70s beer commercial, though it actually looks more like an audition tape. The soundtrack is lost, so we don’t know what the series of attractive 70s young people are saying as they drink a mug of beer in a bar setting. But it’s clear that the people drinking and chatting in the background are having lots more fun than they are. The awkwardness of the beer spokespeople just reminds me of why I don’t think drinking in bars is really very fun. But this just begs to have a new and improved satirical soundtrack dubbed into it. Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Beavers. Early silent classroom film about beavers. That’s it, really, but the beavers are fun to watch, and the cuteness factor is up when they show the baby beavers, which are essentially fluff-balls with little flat beaver tails. Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.

The Beach: A River of Sand. This 1965 Encyclopedia Brittanica film shows us how ocean beaches are formed, what they are made of, and how they are parts of much larger geological systems. This sounds as dry as, well, sand, and it would be, except for how beautifully photographed and directed the film is. The striking imagery of beaches from all angles and distances holds your attention, making this a very successful educational film. As a Nebraska gal, I’ve only been on ocean beaches a handful of times, and this film makes me long for them. Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Bate's Car: Sweet as a Nut, Tony Ianzelo, provided by the National Film Board of Canada

Bate’s Car: Sweet as a Nut. Harold Bate, a British inventor, has invented a car that runs on methane gas, which he produces himself on his farm from animal manure. In this 70s film, he demonstrates it and explains it, along with several other inventions. It makes a high-octane, cheap, completely clean fuel, so, of course, nothing was ever done to actually mass produce this, though he did get a lot of interest in it in the form of letters. Setting aside any potential conspiracy theories, it’s great to see that somebody has invented a clean fuel, though it’s a pity that the powers-that-be will probably ruin the planet before they will consider using it. In any event, it’s fun to watch Bate, who is a typically kooky inventor type straight out of a British children’s novel. Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Bargain Basement Clip. Before HSN and QVC, there was Bargain Basement, an early 60s TV show that hawked “As Seen on TV” type products. Since they only had a small time slot, rather than a 24-hour network, to fill, the pitches come fast and furious. Bottle openers, skin cremes, battery-life extenders, pearl necklaces, and, of course, food choppers are pitched one after the other at an amazing rate. This TV clip is a lot of fun and campy as all get out. And if you send, not $5, not $10, but only $1.98 to LBC, Box Q, Chicago, you’ll get a beautifully framed printout of this review, and the snake knives, Mrs. Presge! (Whew!) Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****. More Stars for Absolutely Free: ****.

The Baltimore Plan. This 1953 public service film outlines an aggressive plan by the city of Baltimore to clean up slums. Working one neighborhood at a time, social workers helped landlords, tenants, and homeowners to fix up and clean up their properties. For those who wouldn’t cooperate voluntarily, housing courts were set up to enforce new, tougher housing codes, though even they took a problem-solving, rather than a punitive approach. This seemed to help a great deal to improve conditions in poor neighborhoods, though I don’t know if the changes lasted, or how things are in Baltimore now. The film provides a great historical snapshot of social services in the 1950s. Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ***.

Ball Handling in Basketball. First of all, stop that snickering. Gangly, skinny white guys demonstrate proper and effective ball handling—hey! You in the back! Shut your mouth!—in basketball, in this 1946 Encyclopedia Brittanica film. It’s all done in the dry EB style, but the necessary repeated mentioning of the B-word has a tendency to bring out the 7th grade boy in all of us. I’m surprised this was actually shown to young people without the entire class getting sent to the principal’s office. Great for msting. For actual basketball players, get back out on the floor and practice your dribbling (sorry). Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ****.

The Balanced Land Force. Short, silent World War II film showing all the different kinds of jobs that go into waging war. It’s unclear whether this was meant to be silent, or whether the soundtrack was lost. There’s lots of great footage here for WWII documentary filmmakers to use, though. Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Baja California: The Pacific Coast of Mexico. This 1949 geography film takes us down the Baja California peninsula and shows us the lifestyles of the people there. With the exception of the modern city of Ensenada, it’s pretty sparse and simple. The film is very straightforward and it provides a great deal of historical interest by depicting its location in 1949. I wonder how much has changed since then. Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Bad Dog. Say, I’ve got an idea: what if dogs could make films? Whether or not you think that’s a good idea, this film tries to simulate that, showing us what things look like from a dog’s point of view. Unfortunately, this dog’s owner is Mr. Bentley from The Jeffersons during his hippie phase, and somebody told him that having a dog is a great way to meet girls. It doesn’t turn out the way he had hoped, though. What the point of showing this in classrooms was is not clear to me, unless it was to give kids more empathy for dogs. What I want to say to the director is this: No! Don’t touch that camera! BAD DOG!! Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Back to the Old Farm. This 1912 film, sponsored by International Harvester, may have been one of the first industrial films. George, an orphan raised on a farm by his aunt and uncle, tires of the endless drudgery of farm life and runs away to the city to make his fortune. Ten years later, he has a job and is doing pretty good, when he gets a letter from his aunt and uncle, inviting him back to the old farm for a visit. He takes a friend with him, and when they get there, they are surprised to find Auntie and Uncle living like country gentlepeople, thanks to International Harvester automated farm equipment. George is so overjoyed that he runs off and elopes with his cousin, for some reason. This is mildly amusing, as well as historically interesting. Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Back to Life. In this 40s film, Bud Lambert, a skilled tradesman working in a factory, suddenly goes off his nut, as the British like to put it. He begins hearing voices and lashing out at his coworkers and his wife. So they put him in a mental hospital and from then on, everything goes swimmingly. He learns to trust his therapist, and gains self-esteem after fixing the loom in the occupational therapy shop. The staff think he’s ready to go home, but what about his old job? Will they take him back? This film focuses less on the treatment he gets in the hospital, and more on vocational rehabilitation. Unfortunately, the film undercuts its message somewhat by focusing on such a perfect patient—nothing goes wrong with Bud once he begins treatment, and he is able to return to his old job with no trouble whatsoever. I’m sure most real cases were a wee bit more complicated than that. Still, the film has a certain charm that comes from the bad acting (done by mental health professionals who are obviously not professional actors) and the positive way it tries to present psychiatric treatment and patients. Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

The B-1B. This Air Force film from the 80s introduces the B-1B, the new and improved version of the B-1 bomber, with flight and maintenance footage, lots of dry narration full of military terminology (including tons of usage of the term “penetration”, and stop that snickering in the back), and plenty of cheap-o 80s electronic music. While it tells us plenty about how badass the plane is, it concludes that this is mostly for the Cold War goal of deterrence, rather than actually killing anybody. A blast of late Cold War military thinking. Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Automatic Elevator System, San Francisco. Newsreel story about the development of automatic elevators, that, amazingly enough, operate with the push of a button, instead of a human operator. Since most of us nowadays don’t even remember elevator operators (they were on their way out when I was just a tot), this is a great piece of history. And I want the scale model elevator system shown in the film for the Film Ephemera Museum of Quirky Devices. Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Attending Information Management. This early 70s film appears to be a training film for group counselors in some sort of social services job training program. A counselor has an initial session with five job program participants and goes through some initial information-gathering with them about their previous job experiences and their interests. The participants all seem to me to be somewhat troubled individuals who need help getting and keeping employment, such as a guy who likes working with kids but doesn’t like bosses, or a shy young woman who didn’t finish high school and has no work experience of any kind. The group leader is kind of awkward, but that just adds to the realism of the film. This is interesting enough that I would like to see more of what happens with this group, though I don’t know if the other films in the series stay with this same group or not. Overall, this is an interesting snapshot of social service practices in the early 70s. Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Atomic Energy. This 1947 Encyclopedia Brittanica film explains the basics of atomic energy through animation and narration. Though somewhat dry, it explains its points well and in a way that is easy to understand, making it quite successful as an educational film. It begins and ends with big ol’ mushroom clouds for added excitement, and the chilling statement, “What lies ahead, no man knows.” Amen. Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Atomic Bomb Blast Effects. This is basically silent color film footage of a couple of atomic bomb tests done in the Nevada dessert in the 50s. There’s some magnificent mushroom clouds, as well as interesting footage of stuff being tested in the blast area, and fun signage warning the soldiers to keep mum about the tests (“If You Wouldn’t Tell Stalin, Don't Tell Anyone!”). This would probably be a good film to mine for stock footage. Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ***.

The Atom and Eve. Oh my. A conglomerate of New England power companies in the early 60s decided to go for nukes in a big way, except they felt they needed to sell women on the concept. Except they obviously had very little contact with real women, so they had to rely on stereotypes. So we get a pretty model in a diaphanous gown dancing around appliances, since that’s what women mainly need electricity for. And we also get detailed descriptions of how the nuke plant will be designed, since women care about the look of things. This is a short film, but it packs a wallop of camp. Some of the scenes with the dancing woman will have you shaking your head in disbelief. The fact that its trying to sell nuclear power is the least of its problems, and that’s saying a lot. Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: *****.