Living Better Cinematically

The Ballet Master's Dream ["Le Reve du Martre de Ballet"] (film #7 on Ballerinas in Hell (Unknown Video)). [Category: Early Film & TV]

A ballet master has a weird dream about a ballerina in an ice cavern. Don't let Freud get ahold of this one. A 1903 Georges Melies film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: **.

Creepy Classics (Hallmark, 1988). [Category: Commercial]

Vincent Price hosts this rather brief collection of trailers and clips from horror movies. Fortunately, he doesn't embarrass himself, but gives a typically campy performance. There are more clips than trailers here, making it not as interesting as it might be to ephemera collectors. It gets 5 extra points for identifying the clips with superimposed titles (which many other similar collections fail to do).

Highlights:

The Blob stars "Steve McQueen and a cast of exciting young people!"
Gimmick Alert! The intro to Horrors of the Black Museum tells us it's filmed in "HypnoVista"! The producers of The Screaming Skull will pay funeral expenses for anybody in the audience who dies of fright!
Msties, take note: contains clips or trailers from I Was a Teenage Werewolf, Gorgo, The Screaming Skull, and War of the Colossal Beast.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: **.

America Marching On (film #106 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

Lowell Thomas narrates this 30s film about how American technology and the capitalist system make things better for everybody and we should all just ignore that silly old depression. He does this by telling the story of a 19th-century mill that advances from a one-stone operation to a huge company that makes lots of profits and shares them with the workers. I'm not sure many jobless people during the Depression bought this.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

Amy Muller (film #10 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]

Amy Muller is an acrobatic dancer dressed in a layered flouncy skirt and ruffled bloomers. She dances for our pleasure for several seconds. An early film in the tradition of Serpentine Dancers. An 1896 Edison film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Little Black Sambo (track #10 on Cartoon Scandals (Goodtimes, 1987)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

A little black boy and his dog battle a tiger a la Little Black Sambo, and racial stereotypes abound. Once you get past the stereotypes, though, it's pretty ordinary.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: .

Black Sabbath Trailer (film #18 in the Trailers section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com)). [Category: Commercial]

This trailer is for an early 60s horror anthology flick starring Boris Karloff. Karloff is always fun to see, but other than that, this is pretty ordinary.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: *.

Dem Bones (extra on Monsters Crash the Pajama Party Spook Show Spectacular DVD (Something Weird, 2001)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

In this all-black cast soundie, a smooth quartet sings "Dem Bones" while a comic relief janitor battles a dancing skeleton in the hallway. A cute, though stereotype-ridden, extra on the Spook Show Spectacular DVD.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

Caroline Mission (film #274 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]

This is assorted silent color film footage of a mission and its various good works. It's not clear whether or not this originally had a soundtrack, or even if it was cobbled together from several different films. I think this might have been film that was shown by mission workers giving presentations at churches and soliciting donations. There's footage of children playing, adolescent boys playing a night game of basketball, a juvenile court, and what looks like alcoholics and homeless people on the street. It looks like it was made in the 40s and there are some cool moments of signage from the period. This is an oddity, but it should provide some raw material for video makers.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: *.

At the Studio (film #12 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

In this very short, very self-referential brickfilm, two Lego guys discuss the latest short, self-referential brickfilm they are going to make. Don't miss the Monty Python reference at the end (as if you could).

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: ***.

General Hospital episode excerpt (MST3K Episode #413: Manhunt in Space). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

"Here comes Nurseferatu!" says Crow, and it's apt, as this excerpt from an early 60s episode of the soap opera "General Hospital" is very dark and depressing. Nurses and doctors discuss their personal lives in hushed whispers in a bleak hospital setting. A woman is diagnosed with a hiatus hernia and the treatment is several weeks of hospital care (just try to get that past the insurance companies today!). The msting is great fun. The next two of these seem to be excerpts from the same episode (though with a soap opera, it's hard to tell).

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Msting: . Overall Rating: *.

Avenge December 7 (film #180 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

This movie theater promo for War Bonds appeals strictly to the revenge motive in its audience. Apparently those who died at Pearl Harbor are waiting for the rest of America to get the nastiest revenge possible on those dirty Japs. This was made a year after Pearl Harbor, when the wounds were still festering, though, so what do you expect? It is an interesting slice of history, though, telling you much about the attitudes of the time in its short length.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: **.

Golden Gate Bridge Opening (film #1825 on Prelinger Archive. Also, film #6 in the Landmarks Around the World section of WPA Film Library (excerpts)). [Category: News]

Silent raw newsreel footage of the opening of the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. Mostly, this involves a very slow motorcade of 30s cars––so slow a bicyclist can lead the way! After the cars finally get over, the bridge is opened to pedestrian traffic and this footage is pretty interesting. A nice chunk of history here.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

At the End of the Rainbow (film #163 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

Made by the Sun-Kraft ultraviolet lamp company, this film tells us all about the healthful benefits of ultraviolet radiation, including sunburn, skin cancer, and the prevention of rickets. Actually, no, skin cancer wasn't mentioned––if that danger had been known about back in the 50s when this was made, perhaps they wouldn't have shown a baby being irradiated by her mother holding a portable UV device. Sunburn, though, is portrayed as a sign of health and that inconvenient peeling can be prevented by an application of Sun Kraft skin cream. The film's most amazing premise is the idea that poor people should all be supplied with UV lamps, because everybody knows that the primary effect of poverty is that you don't get enough sun. This film is quite appalling, but considering its subject matter, it should have been lots more appalling than it is, which makes it kind of disappointing. Still, it has a fair amount of camp value and it's quite mstable. And it contains lots of shots of people of all walks of life wearing dorky protective sunglasses, if you're looking for that.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: **.

Chicken of Tomorrow (MST3K Episode #702: The Brute Man. Also, film #7 on disc #4 of The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection, Vol. 2 DVD (Rhino, 2003). Also, film #311 on Prelinger Archive ). [Category: Industrial]

Doesn't quite live up to its title (which is one of the greats), unfortunately. It's not so much about the chicken of tomorrow as it is about the poultry farmer of today ("today" being the 1950's) and how motor trucks powered with Texaco gasoline increase his profits. The msting is pretty good, especially when they're msting the chickens.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: **. Msting: . Overall Rating: *.

Bravest of the Brave (recorded off of Turner Classic Movies). [Category: Hollywood]

This is a curious one. It's a historical short about the life and mysterious death of Marshall Ney, one of Napoleon's key strategists. The thing is, it seems to be composed of film footage from a feature-length movie, shortened and supplied with narration instead of a soundtrack. The production values seem too expensive for a short, and the scenes have the feel of being much longer than what is actually shown. So what's the deal here? Was this film ever released? If so, why did MGM find it necessary to produce a shortened version with narration? Other than the mystery surrounding it, it's rather dull.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: *.

Ant City (film #387 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

This science film about ant life is narrated by a guy who, though obviously knowledgeable about ants, sounds like he's winging it. He also makes a lot of lame-o comparisons between ant life and human life, perhaps the worst being his announcement of the queen's "wedding trip" with her preferred male, while "Here Comes the Bride" plays on the soundtrack. And, oh, that reminds me, the soundtrack is bizarre and bombastic, too. All of this adds up to a mildly bizarre viewing experience.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: ***.

American Falls from Above, American Side (film #9 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]

This is most likely the first home movie of folks marveling at Niagara Falls. Look at all that water! An 1896 Edison film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

The Black Connection (film #24 in the Trailers section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com)). [Category: Commercial]

Trailer for a 70s blaxploitation gangster film, sort of a cross between Shaft and The Godfather. As you would expect, there's lots of sex, violence, and huge afros.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: .

Cancer (film #270 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]

This Encyclopedia Brittanica film is for adults, covering the warning signs of cancer, how cancer is treated, and dispelling some old wives' tales about it, such as that it only effects old people or that it is hereditary. The main character is a middle-aged man who develops stomach cancer, but is successfully treated by his kindly old family doctor. The doctor has a scary-looking instrument called a gastroscope with which he says he can see into the man's stomach, but thankfully they don't show him actually using it. Actually, this film was probably more optimistic about cancer treatment than was realistic back in the 50s when it was made, though not necessarily today. Much of the information in it is still relevant today, which you can't say about most 50s health movies. Be sure to watch out for your moles and report any strange lumps or changes in normal bowel habits to your doctor!

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

Balked at the Altar (film #1 on The Origins of Cinema, Vol. 4: The Arrival of D. W. Griffith (Video Yesteryear, 1995)). [Category: Early Film & TV]

An old man's comic attempts to marry off his homely daughter are shown. Finally, he gets one poor sap to the altar with the help of a shotgun, but the reluctant groom escapes through the paper stained-glass window, necessitating the inevitable chase scene. Comic relief is provided by a "negro" with a pillow in his shirt. A rather silly film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: ***.

Deafula (Video Screams). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

This highly unusual film was made by and for deaf people. All the dialogue is in sign language and the soundtrack consists of stark readings of translations of the signed dialogue (for the benefit of hearing people in the audience––sort of like closed-captioning in reverse), occasional moments of stark, eerie music, and maybe 2 or 3 sound effects total. The plot is an expressionistic horror tale of a preacher's son whose mother was bitten by Count Dracula during her pregnancy with him, cursing him with a dual personality––one a pious preacher's son studying for the ministry himself, and one a blood-sucking vampire who commits a string of murders. What's really weird about the movie, though, is that it takes place in a silent world where everybody communicates in sign, where everybody uses TDDs for telephones, where such things as motorcycles and women's screams make no sound, and where a man with no hands is mute. The film was obviously very cheaply made and shot in black-and-white, which was rare in 1975, the year it was made. It's obvious that the people involved really put a lot of care into the project, yet it's also obvious that they were amateurs at filmmaking. All of these elements make for one strange film indeed. It is genuinely creepy and surreal, but it's hard to tell if that's because of the story, the amateurishness of the production, or just simply how strange such a film looks to a hearing audience. I will say that despite its length and the cross-cultural barriers involved, the film did hold my interest throughout and was even pretty scary at certain points. It really is a curiosity, though––were other deaf films made? Was there a whole industry involved to serve this population? Or was this the only film to experiment with this concept? I would really like to know the story behind this one.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: ***.

The Apartment (film #11 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

Two Lego guys move into a cardboard apartment complex and encounter some strange tennants. Actually, one guy encounters the tennants and palms them off on the other guy, who spends most of his time playing vintage sports video games. This is a rather amateurish brickfilm, but it's also pretty weird, so that redeems it somewhat. It leaves you with a big "huh?", but it's cute (like most brickfilms).

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: ***.

Four Days in November (track #15 on Stay Tuned: Television's Unforgettable Moments DVD (Garner Creative Concepts, 2002)). [Category: News]

This segment of Stay Tuned documents the Kennedy assassination. Of course, they only show excerpts of the extensive coverage, but the excerpts they show are some of the most memorable, including Walter Cronkite almost losing it after announcing Kennedy's death, Jackie and the Kennedys' two young children approaching the coffin, and the shooting of Lee Harvey Oswald, probably the first instance of television news coincidentally broadcasting a major unexpected news event as it happened. An essential segment of Stay Tuned.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: **.

Commercial Mania: Special Edition (Rhino, 1987). [Catgory: Commercial]

Another fun collection of commercials from the 50s, 60s and 70s. A pretty good assortment––there are a lot of fun moments. Rhino gets docked 10 points, though, for the whole "Special Edition" concept––a "Special Edition" is actually a shorter, edited-down version of the original tape.

Highlights:

Cure childhood depression with castor oil ("Fletcher's Castoria", but we ain't fooled)! Watch the little girl give a really dirty look to the bottle.
An extremely 60's commercial for Ban Deodorant, featuring The Repulsives (describes their music as well as their B.O.!).
This tape gets 5 extra points from me personally for the inclusion of the "Live Better Electrically" spot. It's this kind of populuxe nonsense that I love to find in film ephemera––for some reason I find it incredibly endearing.
Since this tape is from Rhino, it of course has the "Belly Bongo" commercial. They tried so hard to create a new Hula-Hoop-type fad and failed so miserably––and somebody at Rhino is fascinated by that, for it pops up all over their products. It does bring back memories of after-school reruns of "Gilligan's Island", though.
Yipes! Stripes! It's the puppet-animated Beech-Nut Fruit Stripe Gum animals! By gum, they're cute!

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: **.

A Lady with Fans (film #4 on Exploitation Mini-Classics, Vol. 1 (Sinister Cinema)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

Another fan dancing short. This one is a bit more erotic as it looks more like the dancer might really be naked under the fans. Other than that, it's pretty standard.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: .

As We Like It (film #160 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

This film is about beer. About how beer has helped to build America and Western civilization in general. About how beer is brewed to exacting standards of sanitation and quality. About how beer has great ability to give the drinker a bu––uh, sorry, food value. About how heavy taxes are levied on beer, enriching the coffers of pork-barrel poli––uh, sorry, building highways and schools to benefit us all. And about how your friendly neighborhood tavern is a clean, well-run establishment where patrons can get blott––sorry, enjoy sparkling malt beverages. And how your friendly tavern operator supports charitable activities and always obeys the law. And how your friendly neighborhood bouncer––uh sorry, there isn't anything in the film about bouncers. And about how all the friendly tavern operators need to watch their steps because there are elements in society who would like to blame sparkling malt beverages for all of society's problems and bring about another Prohibition, which would deprive us of the right to get drun––sorry, engage in gracious living. So let's all raise a toast to the brewing industry, without which we wouldn't be able to enjoy all the benefits of sparkling malt beverages, such as alcoholism, drunk driving, belching, and frequent urina––uh, sorry for this whole review, folks. I meant to say, "Hey Hosers! This film is about beer! Beauty, eh?"

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

The Funny Company: Sailing Ships (film #30 on Chicago Television (Hollywood's Attic, 1996)). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

This is something of an oddity among limited animation cartoons: a lame, limited animation opening leads into a short, live-action documentary for kids on some topic assumed to be of interest to them. The topic of this episode is sailing ships. Both the cartoon part and the documentary part are very lame and tedious, though, so I doubt this was very appealing to kids, despite the earnest "you're a member of our club" attitude of the thing.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

Columbia Revolt (film #350 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

This arresting film is a true "outsider film". It was made by students at Columbia University, documenting the violent 1968 demonstrations there from the student radicals' point of view. The film is all grainy black-and-white cinema verite style, with soundtracks consisting mostly of various students spontaneously telling their stories about what they experienced during the protests and what it was all about. Mainly, it was about three things: 1. opposition to the college's close relationship with the Defense Department, resulting in extensive research into war and killing technologies, especially those that were being used in the Vietnam war; 2. opposition to the building of a new gymnasium, which was being planned to occupy a site in the mostly black Morningside Heights neighborhood, taking over a public park and displacing many black families from their homes; and 3. giving students a greater voice in the decisions of the college administration. We see students forcibly taking over and occupying the library; battling with "jocks" (right wing students who opposed them); developing a communal society during the occupation which culminates in a hippie wedding; holding endless meetings and voting and revoting on the demands they are making; being viciously beaten by police officers as they are forced out of the building (these scenes are graphic and quite upsetting); performing bizarre political guerilla theater events on campus; picketing and striking; holding their own "liberation classes"; and protesting commencement by walking out and holding an alternative ceremony of their own. Unfortunately, the film ends unresolved––you don't really find out how successful or unsuccessful they were in bringing about change (this, of course, reveals my ignorance of those events). Still, the film is a visually arresting document of 60s radicalism, political struggle, and the issues that divided the American people, sometimes violently, during that time. And it's a great example of grass-roots filmmaking as well. One of the most historically interesting films in the Prelinger Archive collection.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: *+. Overall Rating: ***.

The Autobiography of a Jeep (film #4 in the WWII section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com). Also, film #178 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

This film about every GIs favorite piece of equipment is a lot of fun. For one thing, it's narrated by the Jeep itself. For another, it contains lots of wonderful footage of 40s car designs, jeeps being manufactured, jeeps being exposed to all kinds of abuse and coming through fine, and various celebrities riding around in jeeps. A wonderful piece of World War II nostalgia.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: .

Broken Appointment (film #254 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]

In this rather touching film, a young public health nurse learns to care about her paitients' concerns and feelings after going through a struggle with a young expectant mother who keeps breaking her clinic appointments. The film makes the valid point that science can only do so much and to really help people, you have to be willing to listen to them and learn about their lives and the greater context of their illnesses. It's a message with even more relevance today, considering how high-tech and soulless much of medicine has become. The film also portrays in a realistic fashion the psychological growth process persons in the human service field go through, including the mistakes they make along the way. A film in the true spirit of "public service".

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: **.

Century 21 Calling (film #2 on Assignment Venezula and Other Shorts (Best Brains, 2001). Also, MST3K Episode #906: Space Children. Also, film #280 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

An extremely white teenage couple frolics at the 1962 Seattle World's Fair, stopping by the Bell System display to find out about the phones of the future. This is a lot sillier than most Bell System films, mainly due to the frolicking teenage couple, who you could easily imagine doing a 5th Avenue commercial. Mildly campy fun with o.k. msting.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: **. Msting: *. Overall Rating: ***.

Ads & Clips (extra on Drive-In Discs, Vol. 3 DVD (Elite Entertainment, 2003)). [Category: Commerical]

This set of ads & clips gets 5 extra points for having a lot more of them than on the previous Drive-In Discs DVDs, but it gets docked 5 points for having some repeats. Still, this is a pretty good collection of drive-in ephemera, most of it in excellent condition and all menu-driven. They even throw in a spook show promo!

Highlights:

Yum! Yum! Hear how creepily this can be said in a snack bar
promo advertising hot dogs.
Huston's Hallucinations is Sexsational and features the Girl Without a Middle and the Weird and Unusual Burning of a She-Devil!
Creature from the Haunted Sea features "a guy, a gal, and a boatload of loot!" "Killers hunt Cubans! Monster likes them both!"
Gimmick Alert: Blood Creature features a bell that rings during the scary parts to warn the fearful to close their eyes!

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Animation Class: Lesson 2 Frames per Second (film #10 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms. Also, film #8 in the Drama section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

Crikey! The Lego version of Crocodile Hunter narrates this film on how to do stop-motion animation, for no discernable reason 'cept it's fun. This lesson focuses on the pros and cons of various framerates. Like Lesson 1, this is highly amusing and educational as well. Watch for silly things going on in the background. I hope they make more in this series and that they are all as good as these first two.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

The First Great Debate: Kennedy vs. Nixon (track #14 on Stay Tuned: Television's Unforgettable Moments DVD (Garner Creative Concepts, 2002)). [Category: News]

This segment of Stay Tuned documents the televised Kennedy-Nixon debates of 1960, an important moment both in the history of American politics and in the history of television. I wish they had included a little more actual footage of the debates and a little less commentary. Still, the commentary, by Walter Cronkite and debate producer Dan Hewitt, gives an intelligent explanation of the importance of the debates. Fortunately, there's the Prelinger Archives to provide more actual footage.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

The Brave Tin Soldier (film #25 on The Cartoons That Time Forgot: The Ub Iwerks Collection, Vol. 1 (Image Entertainment, 1999)). [Category: Hollywood]

This takes quite a few liberties with the original fairy tale, but who cares? Toys coming to life make great cartoon fodder and the toys in this cartoon are really delightful. A discarded one-legged tin soldier vies with a creepy old king doll for the affections of a pretty ballerina doll. She definitely prefers the soldier, so the king sets up a rigged trial (presided over by a Groucho Marx jack-in-the-box, the cartoon's weirdest moment), and then orders his execution by firing squad. The ending is romantic, fun, and surprising––the ballerina throws herself on her lover and they are both shot into the fireplace, where they are consumed by the fire together (sniff! sniff!). But their souls end up in Toy Heaven (isn't that a great concept?), where the soldier is reunited with his missing leg. Don't miss this one.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: **.

Animals in Modern Life (film #381 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

Dry ERPI film about the various uses of animals by human beings. There is a great variety here of animals and animal products shown, but they are presented in a seemingly random order, without rhyme or reason. Kids probably did a lot of fidgeting during this sort of film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: **.

Atomic Energy Can Be a Blessing (film #3 on The Educational Archives, Vol. 6: Religion (Fantoma, 2003)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

This film, made by the same folks as Atomic Energy as a Force for Good, is much more didactic than the other film. Fred MacMurray apppears, but only to introduce Father James Kelly, a Catholic priest who seems to be bucking for canonization as Patron Saint of Atomic Energy. Father Kelly earnestly lectures us on how atomic energy is God-given and therefore good, despite all the nasty rumours you may have heard about bombs and stuff. A bunch of government film footage of atomic experiements is shown, while the beneficial uses of atomic energy are rattled off, mostly involving cancer cures and agricultural uses. For some reason, Father Kelly reminds us of atomic energy's teensy downside by showing us the a-bomb test scene from Atomic Energy as a Force for Good. Then he lectures us some more in a confusing fashion about how "one person can make a difference"––I bet this guy was a real snooze-inducer in the pulpit. He tells us about his "organization," the Christophers, which has no membership, meetings, or dues, but it does have a newsletter that we all can subscribe to for free. Despite the clips from Atomic Energy as a Force for Good, I'm surprised that this overly-earnest, clunky film was made by the same people. Perhaps Father Kelly was desperate to get in front of the cameras, and the film was made chiefly to satisfy that. It does have a lot of camp value, though, as well as historical value in the declassified government footage that is included.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Around the Corner (film #152 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

Jam Handy really did his job well here––he made a thoroughly understandable and even somewhat entertaining film about rear-axle differentials in cars. Unless you're really into auto mechanics, this should be as dull as dishwater, but it isn't. It's even somewhat understandable to non-mechanically-inclined persons such as myself. The amazing trick motorcycle riding scenes at the beginning and the bizarre couple that barrel rolls the rear wheels of a car help give it entertainment value. This film does what an industrial film ideally should do––take a potentially dull and dense industrial topic and make it interesting and understandable.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: **.

An Awful Moment (film #6 on The Origins of Cinema, Vol. 4: The Arrival of D. W. Griffith (Video Yesteryear, 1995)). [Category: Early Film & TV]

This one is kind of confusing. A woman who is upset at the outcome of a trial harasses the wife and young daughter of one of the participants of the trial (I'm assuming he's a participant––it's not really clear in the film). She ties the wife up and sets up an elaborate booby trap involving a gun and a door, but is easily caught at the end. D. W. Griffith's story-telling ability certainly wasn't showing in this one. A 1908 D. W. Griffith film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: .

Coffee House Rendezvous (film #343 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

It's the 60s, man, and coffee houses are all the rage. Cool. Except it's the late 60s and the coffee houses have been fully accepted by the Establishment as wholesome alternatives for youth to blowing their minds and blowing up the student union. So organizations like churches and school districts and the YMCA and even parents encourage kids to form coffee houses in any spare basements or vacant storefronts that they can find. This, of course, spells the end of the coffee house as a bastion of cooldom. Still, this is a fun, innocent film, full of enthusiastic geeky teenagers drinking percolated coffee from styrofoam cups and grooving to various homegrown forms of folk, rock & roll, or jazz music which varies in quality from not bad to someone-needs-to-teach-them-how-to-tune-their-guitars. It's full of the bright, hopeful we-can-change-the-world attitude that typified the 60s and would be rudely crushed by the 70s. Of course, I'm a closet folkie myself, so I can't help but enjoy this film very much. It reminds me of all the cool stuff I saw the teens doing when I was a kid during the 60s that I was too young to participate in, and which would all be over by the time I reached my teens in the 70s. Watch another film if you want to know about places like Haight-Ashbury, but this is what the 60s was really like down home in places like Racine, Wisconsin. Sponsored by the Coffee Information Service, which had to wait until the rise of Starbucks to really get going.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: *.

Classic Toy Commercials (Moon River, 1993). [Category: Commercial]

Baby boomers should enjoy this collection of toy commercials from the 50's and 60's. The fun comes not so much from the commercials themselves (which are pretty conventional for the most part), but from the stabs of nostalgia you get from seeing all those old toys again. These were made in the days when there were few restrictions on toy advertising, so you know the actual toys were not nearly as fun as they looked, but it's still fun to fantasize anyway.

Highlights:

The Trik-Trak Racing Set commercial encourages kids to race their cars "all over the house"! My dad would have yelled something other than "terrific!", though.
Ren & Stimpy "Log" fans should make sure to check out the Slinky jingle.
The Deluxe Man in Space Set is sold only at Food Markets!
"Is he a dream (sigh!) or a dud (groan)?" No further comment necessary.
Who's that kid with the mustache in the Beany Copter commercial?
They got Louis Armstrong himself to sing the Suzy Cute Doll jingle. But why??

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

After Launching (film #8 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]

A boat full of people steams out of the harbor in this very short film. Wow, look at the boat. An 1898 Edison film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: .

King Size Canary (film #1 on Cartoons for Big Kids (Turner Home Entertainment, 1989)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

This is the ultimate cat-and-mouse (and dog and canary) chase toon. A hungry cat finds a bottle of "Jumbo Grow" plant food, and since this is a cartoon, the stuff makes any character who drinks it grow to huge proportions. The bottle gets passed around from cat to mouse to dog to canary and back, and things get ridiculous real quick. The whole premise is followed to its ultimate conclusion, resulting in one of the greatest endings to any cartoon ever. This cartoon is a must.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: ***.

Film Bloopers (extra on And Then There Were None DVD (Madacy Entertainment, 2001)). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

This is a somewhat better-than-average blooper reel containing moments of unexpected public embarassment and scenes from montage-style comedy shorts as well as the usual flubbed lines. Most of the stuff is from 30s and 40s Hollywood and much of it is from the filming of well-known classic movies. Most of it I've never seen before. Still, the blooper reel is a somewhat limited concept, though it's OK for a DVD extra.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

Bridging San Francisco Bay (film #249 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]

This film documents in detail the building of the San Francisco-Oakland Bay bridge. If you love bridges and are fascinated with how they are built, you will probably enjoy this film. If you don't, then you'll probably find it rather dull. There are some mildly interesting scenes of construction workers climbing all over the place without any safety provisions, and U.S. Steel, who sponsored the film, puts in a plug for its products whenever they are used on the bridge. But mostly, this is pretty ordinary.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: .

Atoms for Peace (film #174 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

The peaceful uses of atomic energy are shown in this 50s film, with a focus on using radioactive isotopes as triggers. This is dull, dull, dull, folks, though it does leave you with the disturbing feeling after awhile that they're trying to make everything radioactive. No downside of atomic energy is portrayed, as usual.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: .

Centron Commercial (extra on Carnival of Souls DVD (Criterion Collection, 2000)). [Category: Industrial]

Ooh, cool, a fish-eye lens! A cameraman at the Centron Corporation (famous for such stirring educational films as Cheating and What About Juvenile Delinquency?) got a new fish-eye lens and went crazy filming Centron's brand-new office/studio building. Add a groovy soundtrack and you've got a commercial for Centron, a modern, with-it film production company. This was made in the early 70s, and it looks it. The fish-eye lens is cool, though.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Ads & Clips (extra on Drive-In Discs, Vol. 2 (Elite Entertainment, 2001)). [Category: Commercial]

This collection of drive-in ephemera has a lot of the same ones as Volume One, so it gets docked a few points for that. Still, it does contain some classics, such as the "Hey kids! How would you like to hear this?" plea for silence, the Pic Ad, and an announcement forbidding "public displays of affection." And as far as I'm concerned, every collection of ephemera should have "Let's Go Out to the Lobby" on it. As usual, all promos are in excellent condition and menu-driven.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Animation Class: Lesson 1 (film #9 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms. Also, film #7 in the Drama section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

This is the first in a series of films designed to teach beginners how to make Brickfilms, that is, stop-motion animated films made with Lego bricks. The film shows a rather unruly classroom of Lego guys being taught by a very patient teacher. It also features a bit of fake ephemera in the form of a film the teacher shows that tells us what kind of equipment you need to make a film, and featuring a claymation host! This film is very well-made, funny, and informative. I look forward to seeing the other films in the series.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Aristocrats of Fashion (film #149 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

My, fashions are certainly gay this summer! Many a drag queen could take tips in "femininity" from this incredibly stupid and shallow 40s fashion film, featuring BEMBERG rayon. A bunch of very shallow and silly upperclass women frolic at a club in incredibly ugly, gaudy rayon clothes. I don't know which is stupider––the narration, the silly "plot" involving "feminine scheming", or the loud "fashions", featuring such elements as stripes only a football referee could love, bows and collars of a size usually seen on cartoon characters, or snoods, a brief 40s headwear fad that's as ugly as its name implies and which thankfully didn't catch on. The dialogue is a scream, featuring whole passages a drag queen would be proud of. Example: "He found out from the caddy." "Oh no! You mean Vivian?" "No, silly, the golf caddy!" Somebody ought to put these gals out of their misery. This film is, of course, incredibly ripe for msting. Have fun with it on "Ladies Night".

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

The Fall of the Berlin Wall (track #21 on Stay Tuned: Television's Unforgettable Moments DVD (Garner Creative Concepts, 2002)). [Category: News]

This is one of the best segments of the Stay Tuned DVD. In addition to documenting the dismantling of the Berlin Wall, it contains footage of the wall's construction, footage of several presidents commenting on the wall, and breaking CNN news footage of the announcement by East Germany that travel between east and west will no longer be restricted. The footage of crowds of citizens participating in the tearing down of the wall show how much of a symbol of oppresion it had become. A great piece of history.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: **.

The Boogie Woogieman (extra on Monsters Crash the Pajama Party Spook Show Spectacular DVD (Something Weird, 2001)). [Category: Hollywood]

A trio of teenage girls, wearing dresses no teenager would be caught dead in today, sing about the Boogiewoogieboogie Man, Andrews-Sisters style. For all I know, this could be an early appearance of the Andrews, but I doubt it. A cute 30s soundie.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

Advance of Kansas Volunteers at Caloocan (film #7 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film and TV]

This looks like real war footage from the Spanish-American War. A bunch of soldiers dressed in white advance and shoot their guns. Then the Americans arrive and shoot theirs, before charging forward. The guns give off huge clouds of smoke and I can't help but imagine the soldiers on both sides dissolving into coughing fits. Despite that, this film has quite a bit of historical value. An 1899 Edison film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

Co-Ed Secrets (film #338 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

Two women in their underwear "tie up" a third woman in her underwear and "spank" her with a sorority paddle. I use the quotes to indicate the extrememly unconvincing acting. Then they "tie" her to a bed, using plenty of rope but no noticeable knots and "tickle" her with "feathers" (or at least feather-like objects), making her undulate her body, only said undulation starts well before the tickling begins. After she gets a big grin on her face, they "untie" her, and hand her the paddle, allowing her to "turn the tables" and get her revenge by giving them an extremely light "spanking". All this to a sprightly, yet cheesy music soundtrack. My husband declared this to be "too classy" for him––of course, he regularly watches the likes of The Magic Land of Mother Goose, so what does he know?

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: .

Animals in the Service of Man (film #140 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]

It's hard not to be charmed by this 40s film about animals and all they contribute to human society. Made by the American Humane Association and enthusiastically narrated by Lowell Thomas, it also provides a brief history of the humane movement in the U.S. and talks about some of the uses animals are put to in wartime. Another historically interesting aspect is that it was made during a time when horses had not yet disappeared completely from city streets, and we see scenes of horses drinking from public horse troughs provided by Humane Societies, and animal control officers inspecting the teeth of horses pulling delivery wagons. The animals themselves are charming, of course, as are the scenes of lost pets being reunited with their owners. Admirably, the filmmakers let these scenes speak for themselves without milking them for sympathy. A fun and historically interesting film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Andy's Animal Alphabet (film #378 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

This is an alphabet of animals in the Bronx Zoo, which is one of the better concepts for an alphabet film I've come across. Andy is a baby orangutan and for some reason he is the host, or more accurately the mascot, for the film. Which is not a bad idea, really, because he is genuinely cute and charming just being a baby orangutan. The other animals are fun, too, making this one of the best of the alphabet films, which are usually boring.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: **.

Earthquake (film #470 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: News]

This film documents the 1971 Southern California earthquake wtih a focus on the rescue efforts. Federal disaster relief had just been increased and the Office of Emergency Preparedness formed, and the film shows how they addressed their first major disaster. The film is very straightforward and unemotional in its presentation and it all has that kind of depressing 70s feel to it, from the days when it seemed like every film and tv show was filmed on location in the ghetto. Still, some scenes are moving, some are disturbing, and there's even one funny scene: Office workers at some government agency get into an office in a building that was hit by the quake and find a big mess, including emergency preparedness brochures scattered all over the floor. One guy says, "Where's the disaster plan?" and a woman replies, "It's under all this junk somewhere!" A wonderfully ironic moment in a film that is otherwise slow-moving and turgid. Be aware that there are some brief scenes of bloody injured people, corpses, and body parts that may be upsetting to some people––these are quite brief and infrequent, though.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A (though the moment in the office gets ). Weirdness: . Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: *.

The Avenging Conscience (Sinister Cinema, 1999). [Category: Early Film & TV]

It's 1914, but already you can see many film conventions in this long-for-its-time D. W. Griffith movie. A young man finds that his troubles are just beginning after he kills his creepy eye-patched uncle/guardian who won't let him marry the woman he loves. Ghosts! Hallucinations! Blackmail by a slimy Italian! A frantic gun battle! Suicides! Religious visions! Fortunately, it turns out to be all just a dream (phew!). Some of the conventions seen include foreshadowing (with the subtitles cueing us to "remember this character" in case we don't get it), a comic subplot involving wacky servants, and, yes, padding. You can really see why D. W. Griffith is known as an influential director in this entertainingly melodramatic film. A 1914 D. W. Griffith film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Another Cup of Coffee (film #142 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

A Prudential insurance salesman stops by a drugstore soda fountain for a cup of coffee, calling the waitress, affectionately I'm sure, "Greasy". You can tell Greasy appreciates her nickname, because she slips some LSD into the coffee at no charge. This causes the salesman, who is obsessing about finding more prospects, to see Twangy, the magic pixie that lives in his head, appear in the cup of coffee and start talking to him about his prospect problem. Twangy uses insidious mind control to get the salesman to see everybody he has a relationship, or even the least acquaintanceship, with as a sales prospect. He even gets the druggist to shill for him, calling "a member of my unpaid sales force." Once he has his hooks into somebody, he does his level best to make sure that they use every penny of any extra money they may have to buy various forms of insurance. What can I say? This is a thoroughly evil film, though perhaps not quite as entertaining as I make it sound––the guy's endless sales pitches get old after awhile. Stil, this does blow the lid off the mind control conspiracy lurking in the insurance industry (I should know, I'm from Omaha). Greasy would later get all squishy over Alexander Phipps in Young Man's Fancy––after hearing her nickname I understand why she wanted to get married so bad.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Classic Sports Commercials (Moon River, 1993). [Category: Commercial]

Sports fans can play "Spot the Athlete" on this tape. Unfortunately, I'm not a sports fan, so I don't find this tape very interesting. Unlike the other tapes in this series, there's a lot of repetition here––they seem to want to fit in all the different athletes that were used in such series as the Gillette Blue Blades, the Captain Midnight Hall of Fame, etc., which means you see essentially the same commercial with only minor modifications over and over again. On the plus side, there are a couple of interesting moments (listed below) and quite a few cute 50s animated commercials. And my old pal Joe Namath is way too cool in his Dingo boots (although in a 70s way).

Highlights:

I'm thoroughly unconvinced that a real Italian-American like Joe DiMaggio could really stand to eat boxed Butoni Macaroni Dinner without gagging. Seeing him do it is not any more convincing.
Willy Mays gives the worst-done celebrity endorsement (for Gillette Super Speed Razors) I've ever seen. He looks like he doesn't understand English and was doing it phonetically.
Watch for a really early, really cheesy 1940's intro to a baseball game featuring Red Barber––it just screams early TV. The title graphic says "Direct from Wrigley Field, Chicago", but Red says they're at Ebbets Field in Brooklyn (yeah, I know, they probably just spliced together two different intros for the tape, but I'd really like to believe it aired that way). Red pitches Old Gold cigarettes, saying they're made by "tobacco men, not medicine men" and that you get "a treat instead of a treatment". This seems to imply that most cigarettes at the time were advertised for their medicinal properties!
Mickey Mantle enjoys Karo ("KAY-ro") Syrup on pancakes!
"Uh-oh, greasy kid stuff!"

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: * (add a star if you're a sports fan). Overall Rating: (add a star if you're a sports fan).

Big Dumb Monster Trailers (extra on Mighty Gorga/One Million AC/DC DVD (Something Weird, 2002)). [Category: Commercial]

This doesn't disappoint––these trailers from various monster movies are truly big and dumb. One of many of the fine ephemeral extras that Something Weird adds to its DVDs. As usual with trailers on DVD, these have great film quality and are menu-driven, so you can play exactly the trailer that suits your fancy at any time.

Highlights:

Some of the great over-the-top claims made by the trailers: The Valley of Dragons is Challenged by Furious Forces of Nature That Defy Explanation! Equinox features a Master of Occult Mysteriously Missing! The Cyclops features Three Men and a Girl!
The obviously Mexican movie Tom Thumb just might feature that little Mexican kid from Santa Claus. He sure looks like it, anyway.
Both The Loch Ness Horror and One Million AC/DC feature really stupid-looking puppet monsters.
Come to think of it, One Million AC/DC doesn't have one thing about it that isn't stupid. Sample claim: "See unsuspecting cave women succumb to a horny gorilla and like it!" Monsterwize, it not only features a stupid-looking puppet monster, but also a guy in a gorilla suit and Ignatz & Rumsford!
Ignatz and Rumsford Alert! If you love the two battling lizards, then this is your trailer collection! They are found in the trailers for Valley of the Dragons, One Milion AC/DC, and Island of the Dinosaurs.
Msties, take note! Contains the trailer for Lost Continent.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Among a Mafia (film #5 in the Action section of Brickfilms. Also, film #6 in the Drama section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

This Lego gangster film just screams "amateur production." The animation is too fast, the title cards whiz by before you can read them, and some of the title cards contain misspellings! Still, it looks like somebody had a lot of fun making this––they just need to learn to slow down and pay attention to what they're doing.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: .

Jungle Jitters (film #12 on Cartoon Scandals (Goodtimes, 1987)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

This early Warner Brothers toon features a dorky door-to-door salesmen who visits a tribe of African natives, which results, of course, in lots of silly stereotypes. Pretty typical of its genre and not one of the better Warner Brothers toons.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Admiral Dewey Taking Leave of Washington Committee on the U.S. Cruiser Olympia (film #6 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]

In this exciting sequel to Admiral Dewey Receiving the Washington and New York Committees, the top-hatted bigwigs all slowly disembark the ship, leaving Admiral Dewey to pace alone and ponder the meaning of their visit. Now how will they possibly follow this one up? An 1899 Edison film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: .

Betty Crocker Yummy Cake (film #6 in the Commercial section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com)). [Category: Commercial]

Betty Crocker tells us that if your family has problems, making cakes doesn't need to be one of them. Well, isn't that reassuring! She then gives us some handy hints for topping her cakes if we don't have time to make frosting, such as whipped cream and fruit cocktail (ugh!). Another fun piece of 50s housewife ephemera.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

Chloe (Something Weird, 1997). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

WHERE ARE YA, YA OLD BAT??? Sorry, I had to get that out of my system after hearing the song "Chloe" over and over on the soundtrack. This is not strictly an "all-black cast" film, as it is advertised, but it is a rare film from the 30s that deals with race as an issue. The title character is a young woman who is the daughter of an old black voodoo woman and an unknown white father––or is she really Betty Ann, the daughter of the wealthy white colonel, who was thought to be drowned 15 years ago. Like most cheap films of the period this is hard to follow. It doesn't help that Jim, Chloe's black suitor, and Wade, her white suitor, look almost identical. Still, this was made on location in the Florida everglades, and the scenery gives a weird, spooky feeling to the procedings. It deserves some points for dealing with the race issue, though I can't help but think that the ultimate message of the film is "It's better to be white." An oddity from the Deep South.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: *.

Felix the Cat (film #39 on Chicago Television (Hollywood's Attic, 1996)). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

Alas, this is a crappy Trans-Lux extremely limited animation version of Felix. Felix and his pal Poindexter get caught in a haunted house. The pace is so excruciatingly slow that you begin to wonder if this was made for retarded children. Despite this, the cartoon is quite short, which, of course, means nothing happens. There oughta be a law against such desecration of classic cartoon characters.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: *.

Dream Hospital (film #1816 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: News]

In this 40s newsreel story, we are shown an ultramodern hospital of the future, built by the Kaiser Foundation. Nurses submit charts through pneumatic tubes, patients get x-rayed on a huge moving table, new mothers pull their babies out of incubator drawers, and new fathers use an ultra-modern ashtray of the future. But the "answer to a doctor's prayer" is the swimming pool! That'll bring 'em in from the golf course.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

Boys' Club Promo (recorded off of American Movie Classics). [Category: Public Service]

Bob Hope tells us all about the good works the Boys' Clubs are doing. We see some rather scrawny kids in Boys' Club t-shirts building models, playing basketball, and one kid learning the valuable lesson of "winner take all" in a checker game. A brief blip in the history of charitable solicitations.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Alone (film #4 in the Drama section of Brickfilms. Also, film #2 in the Horror section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

A Lego guy dressed in a brown suit enters a Lego crypt and is attacked by a skull-faced Lego ghoul. This little horror flick is genuinely creepy, which is amazing for a brickfilm. This filmmaker really knows how to tell a story and create effective special effects. Shows what a little Lego and lots of creativity can do.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: ****.

America's Distribution of Wealth (film #108 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

An economist lectures us on how the American capitalist system is the best in the world, morally right, and according to God's law. He's pretty boring himself, but he is interrupted by a couple of jaw-dropping scenes of "foreigners" marveling at the American system. Especially amusing is a scene of a fake Englishman who looks like Terry Jones dubbed in by Bill Clinton trying desperately to fake a British accent going all ga-ga in a supermarket. The shortages the Englishman has to put up with are assumed to be a product of socialism rather than that recent world war that everybody in the movie seems to have forgotten about. The economist also has going for him an excellent audio-visual aid in the form of a 3-D chart containing stylized human figures that he can move up and down––I really want this one for the Film Ephemeral Museum of Quirky Devices. Actually, he doesn't do too bad a job of showing that the majority of the American people are pretty well-off, but then this film was made at the height of American post-war prosperity, when such things as the GI Bill were making it possible for millions of Americans to move into the middle class at a rate not seen before, and so far not seen again. One wonders what the figures were like during the Depression, which, by the way, was also a product of capitalism. A great example of 50s capitalist propaganda.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Atomic TV extras (on Atomic TV (Video Resources, 1994). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

Video Resources added some extra goodies to the Atomic TV tape, including trailers from 50s science-fiction movies, an excerpt from an unidentified animated educational film about atomic energy that just had to be titled Our Friend, the Atom (NOTE: Since originally writing this review, I've discovered that the scenes are from A Is for Atom.), and excerpts from that bug-eyed-alien classic, Killers from Space. These extra items give the tape a nice Atomic Cafe feel.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Admiral Dewey Receiving the Washington and New York Committees (film #5 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]

Admiral Dewey paces back and forth on the deck of a ship, probably mumbling to himself, “Where are they, already??" Eventually a bunch of top-hatted bigwigs arrive, including one guy wearing one of those over-the-top admiral's hats. Then some other stuff happens. The end. An 1899 Edison film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Betty Crocker III (film #5 in the Commercial section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com)). [Category: Commercial]

Betty Crocker guarantees a perfect cake every time you bake. Yeah right. The chocolate cake looks pretty yummy, though. Somebody ought to hand the kid who eats it a napkin.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: .

Cherry Knight (film #292 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

Another stag film, this one with a music soundtrack and a rather cheap-looking stripper. There's lots of bouncing action and a couple of industrial-strength pasties, for those who are fans of that. It's a living, I guess.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: .

Boy with a Knife (film #238 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]

Chuck Connors plays a social worker who helps a group of troubled, potentially delinquent boys by forming them into a club at a youth center. The "boy with a knife" is Jerry, a kid with a bitchy stepmother and a wimpy father who won't stand up to her verbal diatribes against him. Jerry takes out his rage by periodically threatening other kids with a knife, when he's not using it to carve up other people's property. When he finds out through the grapevine that his stepmother is planning to send him away to live with his grandmother, he takes out his rage by carving up all the sofa cushions into ribbons. Somehow, this makes his dad finally stand up to his stepmom. "Jerry's not going anywhere," he says to her and this totally cures Jerry of his rage––he immediately goes outside and turns over his knife to Chuck. This is a well-intentioned film that makes a few valid points about delinquency, but mostly it's incredibly simplistic and cliched. Most realistic is how much time and patience it takes for Chuck to win the boys' trust, and how fragile that trust continues to be. Least realistic is the story about Jerry, especially the ending. Jerry has the classical cliched Hollywood Freudian version of a dysfunctional family––bitchy stepmom, wimpy dad who doesn't wear the pants in the family (though the actress playing the stepmom does do an excellent job of making you hate her). The ending is laughably pat and unrealistic––in any real situation like this, you just know that carving up the sofa cushions is just the thing that will get Jerry sent away, and probably to a place a lot worse than his grandmother's. And, of course, there's an instant cure––maybe the filmmakers were just running out of time after all the long sequences of Chuck's trust-building attempts. It all ends up being maddeningly unsatisfying––you want to like the film for its intentions, but it's just too much of a fantasy. For a much more realistic look at the problem of deliquency, and the "club" solution, see Ask Me, Don't Tell Me.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

A Case of Spring Fever (film #3 on Assignment Venezuela and Other Shorts (Best Brains, 2001). Also, MST3K Episode #1012: Squirm. Also, film #276 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

Hey, msties! Remember the linking bit with Crow playing Willie the Wonderful Wisecracking Waffle? It turns out that character was a direct reference to Coily, the incredibly evil sprite in this film. A poor shmoe repairing a sofa wishes he would never see another spring again. Suddenly, Coily appears and answers his wish. Now his watch doesn't work, the dial on his telephone won't function properly, and he can't even close the doors of his car, much less get it to start. Each time he discovers the consequences of a missing spring, Coily taunts him in an incredibly annoying voice. Finally, the guy cracks and apologizes to Coily, who relents and returns springs to the world, but only in exchange for the poor guy's soul. The guy becomes an insufferable spring promoter, talking endlessly about Coily's kin until he drives all his friends away. This film was sponsored by GM, but it's hard to tell why, unless they too were victims of demonic possession. Willy the Waffle appears in Season 3 of mst3k, meaning Best Brains probably had possession of this short at least as far back as that. Perhaps they couldn't find a film that was just right to pair it with. Eventually, they found themselves making the very last episode and they just couldn't pass it by. They certainly saved the best for last in that case.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Msting: . Overall Rating: ***.

Alligators Like Canoes (film #7 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

A couple of hapless Lego guys go canoeing and get attacked by a pretty cool-looking Lego alligator. They escape to an island where they find a bunch of Lego skeletons––are those for real or were they created for the film? Some scenes, including the ending, are kind of confusing. Still, it's not bad for an amateur effort.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Bicentennial Celebration (film #4 in the Patriotism in America section of WPA Film Library). [Category: News]

A short clip of silent raw tv news footage of various Bicentennial celebrations that took place on July 4, 1976. A little carousel riding, a little watermelon eating, a little Uncle Sam, a little fireworks, a little hippies in sandals listening to an outdoor concert, and you're done.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: .

Boo! (extra on Frankenstein DVD (Universal, 1999)). [Category: Hollywood]

Now this is a really fun and unusual short. Somebody at Universal took footage from several of its classic horror films, cut and pasted it together, and dubbed in a new silly soundtrack about how lobster gives you nightmares. This was back in the 30s, when the Universal horror films they stole footage from were at their height of popularity, making this even more of an oddity. Great fun and an excellent extra to throw on the Frankenstein DVD. Kudos to Universal for digging this up.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Amphetamines: Case Study (film #8 on The Educational Archives, Volume One: Sex & Drugs DVD (Fantoma, 2001)). [Category: Educational]

A 60s speed freak tells us what it's like to be a 60s speed freak, using lots of cool druggie lingo like "rap" and "wired." The scene of him trying to fix radios while high somehow reminds me of Dick York and his radios in Shy Guy. All that's included is this self-narrated segment about his feelings while on speed, making me think that this might be an excerpt rather than a whole film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: *.

American Women: Partners in Research (film #135 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

This 50s film, sponsored by Corning Glass, is purportedly about market research in consumer products, but it's really one long, oppressive collection of gender-role stereotypes. It starts with a campy sequence of head shots of housewives expressing their preferences, though for what, we don't know. Then our manly host Chet Huntley appears and over scenes of women shopping and drinking coffee in a kitchen says, "These women are doing research." Chet then tells us all about how companies like Corning are using the opinions of women to design household products, in a tone similar to one an animal behaviorist might use when presenting his paper on the social behavior of some rare species of jungle fauna. He does this while stroking a large phallic-looking rocket nose cone on his desk, and he is careful to specify that all the designers and engineers are MEN. He also mentions that although they are all great designers, all their hard work could come to naught because "women have minds of their own." Then we get to see the step-by-step process Corning uses to design a new coffee percolator. This includes lots of fun scenes of industrial machinery exposing Corningware dishes to various kinds of abuse. The only women employees shown are one woman whose job it is to test the coffee pot to see if it makes coffee that meets the standards of the Coffee Institute, and, of course, the "girls" in the test kitchen. All these women probably got home economics degrees from Iowa State College. In the end, the percolator is put to the ultimate test by being offered for sale in a department store. Husbands are informed that due to the sophisticated mind-control, er, I mean, "market research" techniques by Corning, their wives will demand the coffee pot despite all logic. This film is a must-see for a "ladies night" of msting––you hardly know where to start with it. Though no one instance of sexism is particularly jaw-dropping, it has a cumulative effect that just doesn't quit.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: ***.

Attack on a China Mission (film #35 on The Movies Begin, Volume Two: The European Pioneers (Kino Video, 1994)). [Category: Early Film & TV]

This film was a recreation of an actual event which took place during the Boxer Rebellion in China. A happy European family frolics in the front yard of a Victorian home when they are assaulted by a few Chinese rebels in traditional garb wielding swords. The family runs indoors in fright. Suddenly a huge group of European soldiers armed with guns appears. They kill the Chinese rebels with dispatch but go on firing at the house for some reason. One wonders on the accuracy of this recreation. A 1900 James A. Williamson film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: .

Classic Sci-Fi Trailers, Vol. 8 (Sinister Cinema). [Category: Commercial]

Some more trailers from science fiction movies from the 50s, 60s, and 70s. Lots of giant Japanese monsters on this one, plus both The Thing With Two Heads and The Incredible Two-Headed Transplant! Gets 5 extra points for throwing in some drive-in ephemera.

Highlights:

Gimmick Alert! Teenage Caveman was filmed in Superama! Godzilla vs. the Thing is in Eye-Jolting Color and Terrorscope!
Island of Lost Women stars John Smith!
War Between the Planets is "great family film fare from Fanfare!"
The Navy vs. the Night Monsters was released by the Standard Club of America. Cyborg 2087 was released by Feature Film Corp. of America. Such memorable names!
"Boys! Here's a chance to see if your GHOUL friend can take it!" Yup, it's another great spook show promo for the Giant All-Color Spook-a-Thon.
Mysteries of the Gods gives you William Shatner and Eric Von Daniken's theories all in one movie! How can you miss?
At the end of the tape, Sinister Cinema thanks Steve Bishop for some of the trailers. My guess is that Steve was responsible for all the giant Japanese monster trailers, which are in truly stunning condition. Thanks again, Steve.
Msties, take note: contains the trailer for Teenage Caveman.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

How to Undress (film #3 on Exploitation Mini Classics, Vol. 1 (Sinister Cinema)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

This most ridiculous example of a "Goofus and Gallant" film purports to teach wives how to undress in front of their husbands. Slinky Ethel is compared with fat Trixie, which allows the smarmy narrator to drool over one and humiliate the other. Of course, the real purpose of this film is to have a scene of a pretty woman stripping, which makes me suspect that very few women saw it in its day. Appalling.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

The Ed Sullivan Show (film #1 on Toast of the Town (Shokus Video)). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

This 1956 episode of "The Ed Sullivan Show" is a real hodge-podge from the days when tv was supposed to be for one mass audience. Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz plug their movie Forever Darling, Desi and the Ames Brothers sing the title song from same (with Lucy trying to butt in, as usual), the Ames Brothers go on to do some impressions of 50s pop singers, Rodgers and Hammerstein are interviewed and the Broadway cast of Pipe Dream (one of the lesser Rodgers & Hammerstein efforts) sings some songs from the show, Orson Welles does a scene from King Lear, Ed introduces some celebrities in the audience, and ends up not having enough time for a rather lame ventriloquist to perform. Most of the stuff is only mildly entertaining, but it does have a real 50s feel, giving you an education in what 50s audiences liked to see on tv. The most appalling part is the Pipe Dream sequence––despite the assertion on the show that this show was incredibly popular and sold out the first night, it seems to be unknown today, and frankly, the scenes here explain why. The appalling part was that this musical was supposedly based upon a John Steinbeck novel, perhaps not the top author on the should-never-be-turned-into-a-Rodgers-and-Hammerstein-musical list, but certainly in the top ten. Still, Ed almost makes up for it by cutting the ventriloquist short. Extra highlights include commercials for big ugly 50s cars and a really cheesy "next week" promo.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: *.

Admiral Dewey Leading Land Parade No. 2 (film #4 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]

This gives you some idea of what a military parade was like in 1899. Mostly it involved lots of horse-drawn carraiges, marching bands, and marching soldiers. Lots and lots of them. An 1899 Edison film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: .

Betty Crocker II (film #4 in the Commercials section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com)). [Category: Commercial]

This commercial is for the Betty Crocker Honey Spice Cake. It's historically interesting in that it emphasizes that "fresh eggs give the cake a fresh taste." Actually, cake mixes were formulated to add eggs because housewives felt too guilty to serve "just add water" cakes to their family––adding eggs made them feel like they were really cooking. An interesting piece of 50s housewife history.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Brunette (film #257 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

A pretty brunette strips for our pleasure in this short silent vintage stag film. She wears several layers of sexy undies, the better to tease you with, my dear. Mildly erotic, with the innocence of yesterday.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

Birth of a City (film #222 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]

This really should be called Birth of a Suburb. The planning and building of Broomfield Heights, Colorado, a suburb of Denver, is shown. You know what you're in for when you find out that the "city" is planned around a giant shopping mall. Now I don't live anywhere near Denver, but I just bet Broomfield Heights is just another neighborhood in its urban sprawl by now. After all, it is a "suburban dream of yesterday." Still, this movie is fun to mst, as it has bombastic, newsreel-style narration.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

We Interrupt This Program (MPI Home Video, 1990). [Category: News]

This tape presents ABC news footage from three major stories: the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr., the 1984 highjacking of an American airliner in Beirut by Lebonese terrorists, and the 1989 San Francisco earthquake. No explanation is given as to why these three stories in particular were chosen––perhaps they're the ones that have the most footage saved from them, or maybe it was a rights issue. Unfortunately, despite the title of the tape, we don't actually get to see "we-interrupt-this-program" footage, but we do get to see unedited news broadcasts from when the stories were breaking, including occasional slips of the tongue by newscasters and clumsy shifts from one news feed to another. Some of the footage is quite emotional, such as King's musical director being interviewed minutes after the shooting and obviously still in shock from it; a very frightened pilot of the highjacked plane shouting over the radio "We must have that fuel right now! Immediately!" after the highjackers threatened to start killing the passengers; the flight engineer of the highjacked plane sending a message to his family, including his father, followed by Peter Jennings telling us that the man's father had just died from a heart attack after hearing about the highjacking; a flight attendant from the highjacked plane describing the brutal murder of a Navy diver by the highjackers; a reporter standing on the very edge of a collapsed section of the Bay Bridge after the earthquake; and confused, panicking people running through the streets of the harder-hit San Francisco neighborhoods. I'd like to see more collections of such footage––it really defines the concept of historical interest.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: **.

Bathroom Boardroom (film #9 in the Indie section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com)). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

In this updated version of Ellis in Freedomland, a junior executive, after enduring the Performance Review from Hell, encounters another kind of nightmare when the fixtures in the men's room begin talking to him. Actually, I thought this would be another lame Movieflix Indie "cool", "ironic" comedy, until DISPENSOR began talking, which made me laugh out loud. I found the prissy British urirnal mildly amusing as well. It all ends as some sort of warped demonstration of Positive Leadership(tm), making it more of a present-day version of Ellis than you might think. Long live DISPENSOR!

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: ****.

Berlin Wall (film #4 in the Landmarks Around the World section of WPA Film Library). [Category: News]

A short clip of raw tv news footage of the erection of the Berlin Wall. A short but necessary bit of Cold War history.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: *.

Armistice in Korea (film #12 in the Korean War section of WPA Film Library). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

A Soviet representative announces the possibility of peace talks, then we see newsreel footage of the final days of the Korean War and President Truman talking about military successes and peace talks. A short, well-preserved document of the end of the Korean War.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

The American Road.

This 70s film shows us the early history of the automobile and how it changed America's way of life. Since it was sponsored by Ford, it focuses a lot on the Model T and it has an optomistic bias (cars have obviously improved things and there's no downside, is there?). The movie ends with optimistic, populuxe proclamations that the future will be better than ever, which is curious in a 70s film. Still, this is quite well-made and it has a real human feel to it. You really get a sense of what it must have been like to live in the pre-auto world and also what it was like to whether the changes that cars brought on the scene. The film contains lots of great archival footage of old cars and also lots of historical footage of Henry Ford, his family, and his cronies (is that Edison in the background?). Like many of the better industrial films, it hooks into your emotions at times, especially the feeling of freedom that car ownership provides. An interesting document of automotive and cultural history.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Atomic Tests in 3-D (extra on Trinity and Beyond: The Atomic Bomb Movie DVD (Goldhil Home Media, 1999)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

Did you know that they filmed some of the 50s atomic bomb tests in 3-D? The makers of Trinity and Beyond made this speical little mini-documentary showcasing this footage. The narration makes it sound like a travelogue for the Nevada Test Site (and indeed, you can take tours of it today). The footage, though, is the real attraction of this film. How much more 50s can you get than watching atomic explosions in 3-D? They of course include a pair of 3-D glasses with the DVD. This footage is a great find and it's one of my all-time favorite DVD extras.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: **.

The Battery (film #4 on Campy Classroom Classics, Vol. 4 (Something Weird, 2000)). [Category: Industrial]

This may be the stupidest sales training film ever made. It's as if Union 76 gathered together a bunch of drunk salesmen at a convention, divided them into small groups, and asked each group to make up a skit about a particular historical period and loosely connect it to the sale of Union 76 car batteries. Of course, the salesmen threw in lots of objectification of the female body––gotta please those crowds, after all. So let's hand out some awards to these drunk salesmen, shall we? The Silliest Skit award goes to the caveman sequence, hands down. The Most Appalling Sexism award goes to the Ancient Rome sequence, in which we're supposed to assume female slaves are car batteries, and all that that implies. The Weirdest Imagery award goes to the scene of Merlin's assistants working in the Union 76 R & D lab. And the Least Informative Sequence award goes to the film as a whole––it makes you constantly scratch your head and say, "And what does this have to do with car batteries?" Appalling, but, of course, great ephemera.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: (this gets docked for its overall lack of historical relevance). Overall Rating: ****.

Bongo Boards (film #1154 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Hollywood]

A short newsreel featurette from the mid 60s showing girls on the beach exercising with "bongo boards"––short boards balanced on cylinders on which the girls rock back and forth. Oh those kids and their fads! What will they think up next––pet rocks?

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

America's Presidents (film #351 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

This film quickly (sometimes very quickly) summarizes the careers of America's presidents from Washington to Eisenhower. For most of them, this is done in voice-over, over a picture of the president in question, but from McKinley onward, film clips of the presidents are shown. It's kind of fun, actually, to trip down the line, especially if you're a person who likes lists. Mostly, though, it's just what you'd expect.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

At the Altar (film #11 on The Origins of Cinema, Volume 4: The Arrival of D. W. Griffith (Video Yesteryear, 1995)). [Category: Early Film & TV]

A suitably melodramatic tale in which a pretty Italian-American woman almost has her wedding ruined by a dastardly cad of an old boyfriend who, rather than see the love of his life wed another, boobytraps the altar with a hidden gun, then kills himself by drinking poison. Fortunately, a servant discovers his body and suicide note (in which he tells all) and sends a cop down to the church to warn everybody. But will he make it in time? Will a stray chicken thwart him? Loads of fun with plenty of good old-fashioned scenery-chewing, especially the villian's death scene. A 1909 D. W. Griffith film.

The Ballet Master's Dream ["Le Reve du Martre de Ballet"] (film #7 on Ballerinas in Hell (Unknown Video)). [Category: Early Film & TV]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.

Creepy Classics (Hallmark, 1988). [Category: Commercial]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: **.

America Marching On (film #106 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Amy Muller (film #10 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Little Black Sambo (track #10 on Cartoon Scandals (Goodtimes, 1987)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.

Black Sabbath Trailer (film #18 in the Trailers section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com)). [Category: Commercial]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.

Dem Bones (extra on Monsters Crash the Pajama Party Spook Show Spectacular DVD (Something Weird, 2001)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Caroline Mission (film #274 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

At the Studio (film #12 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.

General Hospital episode excerpt (MST3K Episode #413: Manhunt in Space). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Msting: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Avenge December 7 (film #180 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Golden Gate Bridge Opening (film #1825 on Prelinger Archive. Also, film #6 in the Landmarks Around the World section of WPA Film Library (excerpts)). [Category: News]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

At the End of the Rainbow (film #163 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Chicken of Tomorrow (MST3K Episode #702: The Brute Man. Also, film #7 on disc #4 of The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection, Vol. 2 DVD (Rhino, 2003). Also, film #311 on Prelinger Archive ). [Category: Industrial]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Msting: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Bravest of the Brave (recorded off of Turner Classic Movies). [Category: Hollywood]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Ant City (film #387 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.

American Falls from Above, American Side (film #9 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

The Black Connection (film #24 in the Trailers section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com)). [Category: Commercial]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: **.

Cancer (film #270 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Balked at the Altar (film #1 on The Origins of Cinema, Vol. 4: The Arrival of D. W. Griffith (Video Yesteryear, 1995)). [Category: Early Film & TV]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: ***.

Deafula (Video Screams). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: *****.

The Apartment (film #11 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.

Four Days in November (track #15 on Stay Tuned: Television's Unforgettable Moments DVD (Garner Creative Concepts, 2002)). [Category: News]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Commercial Mania: Special Edition (Rhino, 1987). [Catgory: Commercial]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

A Lady with Fans (film #4 on Exploitation Mini-Classics, Vol. 1 (Sinister Cinema)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: **.

As We Like It (film #160 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

The Funny Company: Sailing Ships (film #30 on Chicago Television (Hollywood's Attic, 1996)). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Columbia Revolt (film #350 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****+. Overall Rating: *****.

The Autobiography of a Jeep (film #4 in the WWII section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com). Also, film #178 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Broken Appointment (film #254 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Century 21 Calling (film #2 on Assignment Venezula and Other Shorts (Best Brains, 2001). Also, MST3K Episode #906: Space Children. Also, film #280 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Msting: ***. Overall Rating: ***.

Ads & Clips (extra on Drive-In Discs, Vol. 3 DVD (Elite Entertainment, 2003)). [Category: Commerical]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Animation Class: Lesson 2 Frames per Second (film #10 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms. Also, film #8 in the Drama section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

The First Great Debate: Kennedy vs. Nixon (track #14 on Stay Tuned: Television's Unforgettable Moments DVD (Garner Creative Concepts, 2002)). [Category: News]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

The Brave Tin Soldier (film #25 on The Cartoons That Time Forgot: The Ub Iwerks Collection, Vol. 1 (Image Entertainment, 1999)). [Category: Hollywood]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Animals in Modern Life (film #381 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.

Atomic Energy Can Be a Blessing (film #3 on The Educational Archives, Vol. 6: Religion (Fantoma, 2003)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Around the Corner (film #152 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

An Awful Moment (film #6 on The Origins of Cinema, Vol. 4: The Arrival of D. W. Griffith (Video Yesteryear, 1995)). [Category: Early Film & TV]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.

Coffee House Rendezvous (film #343 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: *****.

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Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: * (add a star if you're a sports fan). Overall Rating: (add a star if you're a sports fan).

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: *.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: *.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: ****.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: .