Living Better Cinematically

Ads & Clips (extra on Drive-In Discs, Vol. 3 DVD (Elite Entertainment, 2003)). [Category: Commerical]

This set of ads & clips gets 5 extra points for having a lot more of them than on the previous Drive-In Discs DVDs, but it gets docked 5 points for having some repeats. Still, this is a pretty good collection of drive-in ephemera, most of it in excellent condition and all menu-driven. They even throw in a spook show promo!

Highlights:

Yum! Yum! Hear how creepily this can be said in a snack bar
promo advertising hot dogs.
Huston's Hallucinations is Sexsational and features the Girl Without a Middle and the Weird and Unusual Burning of a She-Devil!
Creature from the Haunted Sea features "a guy, a gal, and a boatload of loot!" "Killers hunt Cubans! Monster likes them both!"
Gimmick Alert: Blood Creature features a bell that rings during the scary parts to warn the fearful to close their eyes!

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Animation Class: Lesson 2 Frames per Second (film #10 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms. Also, film #8 in the Drama section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

Crikey! The Lego version of Crocodile Hunter narrates this film on how to do stop-motion animation, for no discernable reason 'cept it's fun. This lesson focuses on the pros and cons of various framerates. Like Lesson 1, this is highly amusing and educational as well. Watch for silly things going on in the background. I hope they make more in this series and that they are all as good as these first two.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

The First Great Debate: Kennedy vs. Nixon (track #14 on Stay Tuned: Television's Unforgettable Moments DVD (Garner Creative Concepts, 2002)). [Category: News]

This segment of Stay Tuned documents the televised Kennedy-Nixon debates of 1960, an important moment both in the history of American politics and in the history of television. I wish they had included a little more actual footage of the debates and a little less commentary. Still, the commentary, by Walter Cronkite and debate producer Dan Hewitt, gives an intelligent explanation of the importance of the debates. Fortunately, there's the Prelinger Archives to provide more actual footage.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

The Brave Tin Soldier (film #25 on The Cartoons That Time Forgot: The Ub Iwerks Collection, Vol. 1 (Image Entertainment, 1999)). [Category: Hollywood]

This takes quite a few liberties with the original fairy tale, but who cares? Toys coming to life make great cartoon fodder and the toys in this cartoon are really delightful. A discarded one-legged tin soldier vies with a creepy old king doll for the affections of a pretty ballerina doll. She definitely prefers the soldier, so the king sets up a rigged trial (presided over by a Groucho Marx jack-in-the-box, the cartoon's weirdest moment), and then orders his execution by firing squad. The ending is romantic, fun, and surprising––the ballerina throws herself on her lover and they are both shot into the fireplace, where they are consumed by the fire together (sniff! sniff!). But their souls end up in Toy Heaven (isn't that a great concept?), where the soldier is reunited with his missing leg. Don't miss this one.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: **.

Animals in Modern Life (film #381 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

Dry ERPI film about the various uses of animals by human beings. There is a great variety here of animals and animal products shown, but they are presented in a seemingly random order, without rhyme or reason. Kids probably did a lot of fidgeting during this sort of film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: **.

Atomic Energy Can Be a Blessing (film #3 on The Educational Archives, Vol. 6: Religion (Fantoma, 2003)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

This film, made by the same folks as Atomic Energy as a Force for Good, is much more didactic than the other film. Fred MacMurray apppears, but only to introduce Father James Kelly, a Catholic priest who seems to be bucking for canonization as Patron Saint of Atomic Energy. Father Kelly earnestly lectures us on how atomic energy is God-given and therefore good, despite all the nasty rumours you may have heard about bombs and stuff. A bunch of government film footage of atomic experiements is shown, while the beneficial uses of atomic energy are rattled off, mostly involving cancer cures and agricultural uses. For some reason, Father Kelly reminds us of atomic energy's teensy downside by showing us the a-bomb test scene from Atomic Energy as a Force for Good. Then he lectures us some more in a confusing fashion about how "one person can make a difference"––I bet this guy was a real snooze-inducer in the pulpit. He tells us about his "organization," the Christophers, which has no membership, meetings, or dues, but it does have a newsletter that we all can subscribe to for free. Despite the clips from Atomic Energy as a Force for Good, I'm surprised that this overly-earnest, clunky film was made by the same people. Perhaps Father Kelly was desperate to get in front of the cameras, and the film was made chiefly to satisfy that. It does have a lot of camp value, though, as well as historical value in the declassified government footage that is included.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Around the Corner (film #152 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

Jam Handy really did his job well here––he made a thoroughly understandable and even somewhat entertaining film about rear-axle differentials in cars. Unless you're really into auto mechanics, this should be as dull as dishwater, but it isn't. It's even somewhat understandable to non-mechanically-inclined persons such as myself. The amazing trick motorcycle riding scenes at the beginning and the bizarre couple that barrel rolls the rear wheels of a car help give it entertainment value. This film does what an industrial film ideally should do––take a potentially dull and dense industrial topic and make it interesting and understandable.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: **.

An Awful Moment (film #6 on The Origins of Cinema, Vol. 4: The Arrival of D. W. Griffith (Video Yesteryear, 1995)). [Category: Early Film & TV]

This one is kind of confusing. A woman who is upset at the outcome of a trial harasses the wife and young daughter of one of the participants of the trial (I'm assuming he's a participant––it's not really clear in the film). She ties the wife up and sets up an elaborate booby trap involving a gun and a door, but is easily caught at the end. D. W. Griffith's story-telling ability certainly wasn't showing in this one. A 1908 D. W. Griffith film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: .

Coffee House Rendezvous (film #343 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

It's the 60s, man, and coffee houses are all the rage. Cool. Except it's the late 60s and the coffee houses have been fully accepted by the Establishment as wholesome alternatives for youth to blowing their minds and blowing up the student union. So organizations like churches and school districts and the YMCA and even parents encourage kids to form coffee houses in any spare basements or vacant storefronts that they can find. This, of course, spells the end of the coffee house as a bastion of cooldom. Still, this is a fun, innocent film, full of enthusiastic geeky teenagers drinking percolated coffee from styrofoam cups and grooving to various homegrown forms of folk, rock & roll, or jazz music which varies in quality from not bad to someone-needs-to-teach-them-how-to-tune-their-guitars. It's full of the bright, hopeful we-can-change-the-world attitude that typified the 60s and would be rudely crushed by the 70s. Of course, I'm a closet folkie myself, so I can't help but enjoy this film very much. It reminds me of all the cool stuff I saw the teens doing when I was a kid during the 60s that I was too young to participate in, and which would all be over by the time I reached my teens in the 70s. Watch another film if you want to know about places like Haight-Ashbury, but this is what the 60s was really like down home in places like Racine, Wisconsin. Sponsored by the Coffee Information Service, which had to wait until the rise of Starbucks to really get going.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: *.

Classic Toy Commercials (Moon River, 1993). [Category: Commercial]

Baby boomers should enjoy this collection of toy commercials from the 50's and 60's. The fun comes not so much from the commercials themselves (which are pretty conventional for the most part), but from the stabs of nostalgia you get from seeing all those old toys again. These were made in the days when there were few restrictions on toy advertising, so you know the actual toys were not nearly as fun as they looked, but it's still fun to fantasize anyway.

Highlights:

The Trik-Trak Racing Set commercial encourages kids to race their cars "all over the house"! My dad would have yelled something other than "terrific!", though.
Ren & Stimpy "Log" fans should make sure to check out the Slinky jingle.
The Deluxe Man in Space Set is sold only at Food Markets!
"Is he a dream (sigh!) or a dud (groan)?" No further comment necessary.
Who's that kid with the mustache in the Beany Copter commercial?
They got Louis Armstrong himself to sing the Suzy Cute Doll jingle. But why??

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

After Launching (film #8 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]

A boat full of people steams out of the harbor in this very short film. Wow, look at the boat. An 1898 Edison film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: .

King Size Canary (film #1 on Cartoons for Big Kids (Turner Home Entertainment, 1989)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

This is the ultimate cat-and-mouse (and dog and canary) chase toon. A hungry cat finds a bottle of "Jumbo Grow" plant food, and since this is a cartoon, the stuff makes any character who drinks it grow to huge proportions. The bottle gets passed around from cat to mouse to dog to canary and back, and things get ridiculous real quick. The whole premise is followed to its ultimate conclusion, resulting in one of the greatest endings to any cartoon ever. This cartoon is a must.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: ***.

Film Bloopers (extra on And Then There Were None DVD (Madacy Entertainment, 2001)). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

This is a somewhat better-than-average blooper reel containing moments of unexpected public embarassment and scenes from montage-style comedy shorts as well as the usual flubbed lines. Most of the stuff is from 30s and 40s Hollywood and much of it is from the filming of well-known classic movies. Most of it I've never seen before. Still, the blooper reel is a somewhat limited concept, though it's OK for a DVD extra.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

Bridging San Francisco Bay (film #249 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]

This film documents in detail the building of the San Francisco-Oakland Bay bridge. If you love bridges and are fascinated with how they are built, you will probably enjoy this film. If you don't, then you'll probably find it rather dull. There are some mildly interesting scenes of construction workers climbing all over the place without any safety provisions, and U.S. Steel, who sponsored the film, puts in a plug for its products whenever they are used on the bridge. But mostly, this is pretty ordinary.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: .

Atoms for Peace (film #174 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

The peaceful uses of atomic energy are shown in this 50s film, with a focus on using radioactive isotopes as triggers. This is dull, dull, dull, folks, though it does leave you with the disturbing feeling after awhile that they're trying to make everything radioactive. No downside of atomic energy is portrayed, as usual.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: .

Centron Commercial (extra on Carnival of Souls DVD (Criterion Collection, 2000)). [Category: Industrial]

Ooh, cool, a fish-eye lens! A cameraman at the Centron Corporation (famous for such stirring educational films as Cheating and What About Juvenile Delinquency?) got a new fish-eye lens and went crazy filming Centron's brand-new office/studio building. Add a groovy soundtrack and you've got a commercial for Centron, a modern, with-it film production company. This was made in the early 70s, and it looks it. The fish-eye lens is cool, though.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Ads & Clips (extra on Drive-In Discs, Vol. 2 (Elite Entertainment, 2001)). [Category: Commercial]

This collection of drive-in ephemera has a lot of the same ones as Volume One, so it gets docked a few points for that. Still, it does contain some classics, such as the "Hey kids! How would you like to hear this?" plea for silence, the Pic Ad, and an announcement forbidding "public displays of affection." And as far as I'm concerned, every collection of ephemera should have "Let's Go Out to the Lobby" on it. As usual, all promos are in excellent condition and menu-driven.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Animation Class: Lesson 1 (film #9 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms. Also, film #7 in the Drama section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

This is the first in a series of films designed to teach beginners how to make Brickfilms, that is, stop-motion animated films made with Lego bricks. The film shows a rather unruly classroom of Lego guys being taught by a very patient teacher. It also features a bit of fake ephemera in the form of a film the teacher shows that tells us what kind of equipment you need to make a film, and featuring a claymation host! This film is very well-made, funny, and informative. I look forward to seeing the other films in the series.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Aristocrats of Fashion (film #149 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

My, fashions are certainly gay this summer! Many a drag queen could take tips in "femininity" from this incredibly stupid and shallow 40s fashion film, featuring BEMBERG rayon. A bunch of very shallow and silly upperclass women frolic at a club in incredibly ugly, gaudy rayon clothes. I don't know which is stupider––the narration, the silly "plot" involving "feminine scheming", or the loud "fashions", featuring such elements as stripes only a football referee could love, bows and collars of a size usually seen on cartoon characters, or snoods, a brief 40s headwear fad that's as ugly as its name implies and which thankfully didn't catch on. The dialogue is a scream, featuring whole passages a drag queen would be proud of. Example: "He found out from the caddy." "Oh no! You mean Vivian?" "No, silly, the golf caddy!" Somebody ought to put these gals out of their misery. This film is, of course, incredibly ripe for msting. Have fun with it on "Ladies Night".

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

The Fall of the Berlin Wall (track #21 on Stay Tuned: Television's Unforgettable Moments DVD (Garner Creative Concepts, 2002)). [Category: News]

This is one of the best segments of the Stay Tuned DVD. In addition to documenting the dismantling of the Berlin Wall, it contains footage of the wall's construction, footage of several presidents commenting on the wall, and breaking CNN news footage of the announcement by East Germany that travel between east and west will no longer be restricted. The footage of crowds of citizens participating in the tearing down of the wall show how much of a symbol of oppresion it had become. A great piece of history.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: **.

The Boogie Woogieman (extra on Monsters Crash the Pajama Party Spook Show Spectacular DVD (Something Weird, 2001)). [Category: Hollywood]

A trio of teenage girls, wearing dresses no teenager would be caught dead in today, sing about the Boogiewoogieboogie Man, Andrews-Sisters style. For all I know, this could be an early appearance of the Andrews, but I doubt it. A cute 30s soundie.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

Advance of Kansas Volunteers at Caloocan (film #7 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film and TV]

This looks like real war footage from the Spanish-American War. A bunch of soldiers dressed in white advance and shoot their guns. Then the Americans arrive and shoot theirs, before charging forward. The guns give off huge clouds of smoke and I can't help but imagine the soldiers on both sides dissolving into coughing fits. Despite that, this film has quite a bit of historical value. An 1899 Edison film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

Co-Ed Secrets (film #338 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

Two women in their underwear "tie up" a third woman in her underwear and "spank" her with a sorority paddle. I use the quotes to indicate the extrememly unconvincing acting. Then they "tie" her to a bed, using plenty of rope but no noticeable knots and "tickle" her with "feathers" (or at least feather-like objects), making her undulate her body, only said undulation starts well before the tickling begins. After she gets a big grin on her face, they "untie" her, and hand her the paddle, allowing her to "turn the tables" and get her revenge by giving them an extremely light "spanking". All this to a sprightly, yet cheesy music soundtrack. My husband declared this to be "too classy" for him––of course, he regularly watches the likes of The Magic Land of Mother Goose, so what does he know?

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: .

Animals in the Service of Man (film #140 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]

It's hard not to be charmed by this 40s film about animals and all they contribute to human society. Made by the American Humane Association and enthusiastically narrated by Lowell Thomas, it also provides a brief history of the humane movement in the U.S. and talks about some of the uses animals are put to in wartime. Another historically interesting aspect is that it was made during a time when horses had not yet disappeared completely from city streets, and we see scenes of horses drinking from public horse troughs provided by Humane Societies, and animal control officers inspecting the teeth of horses pulling delivery wagons. The animals themselves are charming, of course, as are the scenes of lost pets being reunited with their owners. Admirably, the filmmakers let these scenes speak for themselves without milking them for sympathy. A fun and historically interesting film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Andy's Animal Alphabet (film #378 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

This is an alphabet of animals in the Bronx Zoo, which is one of the better concepts for an alphabet film I've come across. Andy is a baby orangutan and for some reason he is the host, or more accurately the mascot, for the film. Which is not a bad idea, really, because he is genuinely cute and charming just being a baby orangutan. The other animals are fun, too, making this one of the best of the alphabet films, which are usually boring.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: **.

Earthquake (film #470 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: News]

This film documents the 1971 Southern California earthquake wtih a focus on the rescue efforts. Federal disaster relief had just been increased and the Office of Emergency Preparedness formed, and the film shows how they addressed their first major disaster. The film is very straightforward and unemotional in its presentation and it all has that kind of depressing 70s feel to it, from the days when it seemed like every film and tv show was filmed on location in the ghetto. Still, some scenes are moving, some are disturbing, and there's even one funny scene: Office workers at some government agency get into an office in a building that was hit by the quake and find a big mess, including emergency preparedness brochures scattered all over the floor. One guy says, "Where's the disaster plan?" and a woman replies, "It's under all this junk somewhere!" A wonderfully ironic moment in a film that is otherwise slow-moving and turgid. Be aware that there are some brief scenes of bloody injured people, corpses, and body parts that may be upsetting to some people––these are quite brief and infrequent, though.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A (though the moment in the office gets ). Weirdness: . Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: *.

The Avenging Conscience (Sinister Cinema, 1999). [Category: Early Film & TV]

It's 1914, but already you can see many film conventions in this long-for-its-time D. W. Griffith movie. A young man finds that his troubles are just beginning after he kills his creepy eye-patched uncle/guardian who won't let him marry the woman he loves. Ghosts! Hallucinations! Blackmail by a slimy Italian! A frantic gun battle! Suicides! Religious visions! Fortunately, it turns out to be all just a dream (phew!). Some of the conventions seen include foreshadowing (with the subtitles cueing us to "remember this character" in case we don't get it), a comic subplot involving wacky servants, and, yes, padding. You can really see why D. W. Griffith is known as an influential director in this entertainingly melodramatic film. A 1914 D. W. Griffith film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Another Cup of Coffee (film #142 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

A Prudential insurance salesman stops by a drugstore soda fountain for a cup of coffee, calling the waitress, affectionately I'm sure, "Greasy". You can tell Greasy appreciates her nickname, because she slips some LSD into the coffee at no charge. This causes the salesman, who is obsessing about finding more prospects, to see Twangy, the magic pixie that lives in his head, appear in the cup of coffee and start talking to him about his prospect problem. Twangy uses insidious mind control to get the salesman to see everybody he has a relationship, or even the least acquaintanceship, with as a sales prospect. He even gets the druggist to shill for him, calling "a member of my unpaid sales force." Once he has his hooks into somebody, he does his level best to make sure that they use every penny of any extra money they may have to buy various forms of insurance. What can I say? This is a thoroughly evil film, though perhaps not quite as entertaining as I make it sound––the guy's endless sales pitches get old after awhile. Stil, this does blow the lid off the mind control conspiracy lurking in the insurance industry (I should know, I'm from Omaha). Greasy would later get all squishy over Alexander Phipps in Young Man's Fancy––after hearing her nickname I understand why she wanted to get married so bad.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Classic Sports Commercials (Moon River, 1993). [Category: Commercial]

Sports fans can play "Spot the Athlete" on this tape. Unfortunately, I'm not a sports fan, so I don't find this tape very interesting. Unlike the other tapes in this series, there's a lot of repetition here––they seem to want to fit in all the different athletes that were used in such series as the Gillette Blue Blades, the Captain Midnight Hall of Fame, etc., which means you see essentially the same commercial with only minor modifications over and over again. On the plus side, there are a couple of interesting moments (listed below) and quite a few cute 50s animated commercials. And my old pal Joe Namath is way too cool in his Dingo boots (although in a 70s way).

Highlights:

I'm thoroughly unconvinced that a real Italian-American like Joe DiMaggio could really stand to eat boxed Butoni Macaroni Dinner without gagging. Seeing him do it is not any more convincing.
Willy Mays gives the worst-done celebrity endorsement (for Gillette Super Speed Razors) I've ever seen. He looks like he doesn't understand English and was doing it phonetically.
Watch for a really early, really cheesy 1940's intro to a baseball game featuring Red Barber––it just screams early TV. The title graphic says "Direct from Wrigley Field, Chicago", but Red says they're at Ebbets Field in Brooklyn (yeah, I know, they probably just spliced together two different intros for the tape, but I'd really like to believe it aired that way). Red pitches Old Gold cigarettes, saying they're made by "tobacco men, not medicine men" and that you get "a treat instead of a treatment". This seems to imply that most cigarettes at the time were advertised for their medicinal properties!
Mickey Mantle enjoys Karo ("KAY-ro") Syrup on pancakes!
"Uh-oh, greasy kid stuff!"

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: * (add a star if you're a sports fan). Overall Rating: (add a star if you're a sports fan).

Big Dumb Monster Trailers (extra on Mighty Gorga/One Million AC/DC DVD (Something Weird, 2002)). [Category: Commercial]

This doesn't disappoint––these trailers from various monster movies are truly big and dumb. One of many of the fine ephemeral extras that Something Weird adds to its DVDs. As usual with trailers on DVD, these have great film quality and are menu-driven, so you can play exactly the trailer that suits your fancy at any time.

Highlights:

Some of the great over-the-top claims made by the trailers: The Valley of Dragons is Challenged by Furious Forces of Nature That Defy Explanation! Equinox features a Master of Occult Mysteriously Missing! The Cyclops features Three Men and a Girl!
The obviously Mexican movie Tom Thumb just might feature that little Mexican kid from Santa Claus. He sure looks like it, anyway.
Both The Loch Ness Horror and One Million AC/DC feature really stupid-looking puppet monsters.
Come to think of it, One Million AC/DC doesn't have one thing about it that isn't stupid. Sample claim: "See unsuspecting cave women succumb to a horny gorilla and like it!" Monsterwize, it not only features a stupid-looking puppet monster, but also a guy in a gorilla suit and Ignatz & Rumsford!
Ignatz and Rumsford Alert! If you love the two battling lizards, then this is your trailer collection! They are found in the trailers for Valley of the Dragons, One Milion AC/DC, and Island of the Dinosaurs.
Msties, take note! Contains the trailer for Lost Continent.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Among a Mafia (film #5 in the Action section of Brickfilms. Also, film #6 in the Drama section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

This Lego gangster film just screams "amateur production." The animation is too fast, the title cards whiz by before you can read them, and some of the title cards contain misspellings! Still, it looks like somebody had a lot of fun making this––they just need to learn to slow down and pay attention to what they're doing.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: .

Jungle Jitters (film #12 on Cartoon Scandals (Goodtimes, 1987)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

This early Warner Brothers toon features a dorky door-to-door salesmen who visits a tribe of African natives, which results, of course, in lots of silly stereotypes. Pretty typical of its genre and not one of the better Warner Brothers toons.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Admiral Dewey Taking Leave of Washington Committee on the U.S. Cruiser Olympia (film #6 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]

In this exciting sequel to Admiral Dewey Receiving the Washington and New York Committees, the top-hatted bigwigs all slowly disembark the ship, leaving Admiral Dewey to pace alone and ponder the meaning of their visit. Now how will they possibly follow this one up? An 1899 Edison film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: .

Betty Crocker Yummy Cake (film #6 in the Commercial section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com)). [Category: Commercial]

Betty Crocker tells us that if your family has problems, making cakes doesn't need to be one of them. Well, isn't that reassuring! She then gives us some handy hints for topping her cakes if we don't have time to make frosting, such as whipped cream and fruit cocktail (ugh!). Another fun piece of 50s housewife ephemera.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

Chloe (Something Weird, 1997). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

WHERE ARE YA, YA OLD BAT??? Sorry, I had to get that out of my system after hearing the song "Chloe" over and over on the soundtrack. This is not strictly an "all-black cast" film, as it is advertised, but it is a rare film from the 30s that deals with race as an issue. The title character is a young woman who is the daughter of an old black voodoo woman and an unknown white father––or is she really Betty Ann, the daughter of the wealthy white colonel, who was thought to be drowned 15 years ago. Like most cheap films of the period this is hard to follow. It doesn't help that Jim, Chloe's black suitor, and Wade, her white suitor, look almost identical. Still, this was made on location in the Florida everglades, and the scenery gives a weird, spooky feeling to the procedings. It deserves some points for dealing with the race issue, though I can't help but think that the ultimate message of the film is "It's better to be white." An oddity from the Deep South.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: *.

Felix the Cat (film #39 on Chicago Television (Hollywood's Attic, 1996)). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

Alas, this is a crappy Trans-Lux extremely limited animation version of Felix. Felix and his pal Poindexter get caught in a haunted house. The pace is so excruciatingly slow that you begin to wonder if this was made for retarded children. Despite this, the cartoon is quite short, which, of course, means nothing happens. There oughta be a law against such desecration of classic cartoon characters.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: *.

Dream Hospital (film #1816 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: News]

In this 40s newsreel story, we are shown an ultramodern hospital of the future, built by the Kaiser Foundation. Nurses submit charts through pneumatic tubes, patients get x-rayed on a huge moving table, new mothers pull their babies out of incubator drawers, and new fathers use an ultra-modern ashtray of the future. But the "answer to a doctor's prayer" is the swimming pool! That'll bring 'em in from the golf course.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

Boys' Club Promo (recorded off of American Movie Classics). [Category: Public Service]

Bob Hope tells us all about the good works the Boys' Clubs are doing. We see some rather scrawny kids in Boys' Club t-shirts building models, playing basketball, and one kid learning the valuable lesson of "winner take all" in a checker game. A brief blip in the history of charitable solicitations.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Alone (film #4 in the Drama section of Brickfilms. Also, film #2 in the Horror section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

A Lego guy dressed in a brown suit enters a Lego crypt and is attacked by a skull-faced Lego ghoul. This little horror flick is genuinely creepy, which is amazing for a brickfilm. This filmmaker really knows how to tell a story and create effective special effects. Shows what a little Lego and lots of creativity can do.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: ****.

America's Distribution of Wealth (film #108 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

An economist lectures us on how the American capitalist system is the best in the world, morally right, and according to God's law. He's pretty boring himself, but he is interrupted by a couple of jaw-dropping scenes of "foreigners" marveling at the American system. Especially amusing is a scene of a fake Englishman who looks like Terry Jones dubbed in by Bill Clinton trying desperately to fake a British accent going all ga-ga in a supermarket. The shortages the Englishman has to put up with are assumed to be a product of socialism rather than that recent world war that everybody in the movie seems to have forgotten about. The economist also has going for him an excellent audio-visual aid in the form of a 3-D chart containing stylized human figures that he can move up and down––I really want this one for the Film Ephemeral Museum of Quirky Devices. Actually, he doesn't do too bad a job of showing that the majority of the American people are pretty well-off, but then this film was made at the height of American post-war prosperity, when such things as the GI Bill were making it possible for millions of Americans to move into the middle class at a rate not seen before, and so far not seen again. One wonders what the figures were like during the Depression, which, by the way, was also a product of capitalism. A great example of 50s capitalist propaganda.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Atomic TV extras (on Atomic TV (Video Resources, 1994). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

Video Resources added some extra goodies to the Atomic TV tape, including trailers from 50s science-fiction movies, an excerpt from an unidentified animated educational film about atomic energy that just had to be titled Our Friend, the Atom (NOTE: Since originally writing this review, I've discovered that the scenes are from A Is for Atom.), and excerpts from that bug-eyed-alien classic, Killers from Space. These extra items give the tape a nice Atomic Cafe feel.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Admiral Dewey Receiving the Washington and New York Committees (film #5 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]

Admiral Dewey paces back and forth on the deck of a ship, probably mumbling to himself, “Where are they, already??" Eventually a bunch of top-hatted bigwigs arrive, including one guy wearing one of those over-the-top admiral's hats. Then some other stuff happens. The end. An 1899 Edison film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Betty Crocker III (film #5 in the Commercial section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com)). [Category: Commercial]

Betty Crocker guarantees a perfect cake every time you bake. Yeah right. The chocolate cake looks pretty yummy, though. Somebody ought to hand the kid who eats it a napkin.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: .

Cherry Knight (film #292 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

Another stag film, this one with a music soundtrack and a rather cheap-looking stripper. There's lots of bouncing action and a couple of industrial-strength pasties, for those who are fans of that. It's a living, I guess.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: .

Boy with a Knife (film #238 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]

Chuck Connors plays a social worker who helps a group of troubled, potentially delinquent boys by forming them into a club at a youth center. The "boy with a knife" is Jerry, a kid with a bitchy stepmother and a wimpy father who won't stand up to her verbal diatribes against him. Jerry takes out his rage by periodically threatening other kids with a knife, when he's not using it to carve up other people's property. When he finds out through the grapevine that his stepmother is planning to send him away to live with his grandmother, he takes out his rage by carving up all the sofa cushions into ribbons. Somehow, this makes his dad finally stand up to his stepmom. "Jerry's not going anywhere," he says to her and this totally cures Jerry of his rage––he immediately goes outside and turns over his knife to Chuck. This is a well-intentioned film that makes a few valid points about delinquency, but mostly it's incredibly simplistic and cliched. Most realistic is how much time and patience it takes for Chuck to win the boys' trust, and how fragile that trust continues to be. Least realistic is the story about Jerry, especially the ending. Jerry has the classical cliched Hollywood Freudian version of a dysfunctional family––bitchy stepmom, wimpy dad who doesn't wear the pants in the family (though the actress playing the stepmom does do an excellent job of making you hate her). The ending is laughably pat and unrealistic––in any real situation like this, you just know that carving up the sofa cushions is just the thing that will get Jerry sent away, and probably to a place a lot worse than his grandmother's. And, of course, there's an instant cure––maybe the filmmakers were just running out of time after all the long sequences of Chuck's trust-building attempts. It all ends up being maddeningly unsatisfying––you want to like the film for its intentions, but it's just too much of a fantasy. For a much more realistic look at the problem of deliquency, and the "club" solution, see Ask Me, Don't Tell Me.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

A Case of Spring Fever (film #3 on Assignment Venezuela and Other Shorts (Best Brains, 2001). Also, MST3K Episode #1012: Squirm. Also, film #276 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

Hey, msties! Remember the linking bit with Crow playing Willie the Wonderful Wisecracking Waffle? It turns out that character was a direct reference to Coily, the incredibly evil sprite in this film. A poor shmoe repairing a sofa wishes he would never see another spring again. Suddenly, Coily appears and answers his wish. Now his watch doesn't work, the dial on his telephone won't function properly, and he can't even close the doors of his car, much less get it to start. Each time he discovers the consequences of a missing spring, Coily taunts him in an incredibly annoying voice. Finally, the guy cracks and apologizes to Coily, who relents and returns springs to the world, but only in exchange for the poor guy's soul. The guy becomes an insufferable spring promoter, talking endlessly about Coily's kin until he drives all his friends away. This film was sponsored by GM, but it's hard to tell why, unless they too were victims of demonic possession. Willy the Waffle appears in Season 3 of mst3k, meaning Best Brains probably had possession of this short at least as far back as that. Perhaps they couldn't find a film that was just right to pair it with. Eventually, they found themselves making the very last episode and they just couldn't pass it by. They certainly saved the best for last in that case.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Msting: . Overall Rating: ***.

Alligators Like Canoes (film #7 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

A couple of hapless Lego guys go canoeing and get attacked by a pretty cool-looking Lego alligator. They escape to an island where they find a bunch of Lego skeletons––are those for real or were they created for the film? Some scenes, including the ending, are kind of confusing. Still, it's not bad for an amateur effort.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Bicentennial Celebration (film #4 in the Patriotism in America section of WPA Film Library). [Category: News]

A short clip of silent raw tv news footage of various Bicentennial celebrations that took place on July 4, 1976. A little carousel riding, a little watermelon eating, a little Uncle Sam, a little fireworks, a little hippies in sandals listening to an outdoor concert, and you're done.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: .

Boo! (extra on Frankenstein DVD (Universal, 1999)). [Category: Hollywood]

Now this is a really fun and unusual short. Somebody at Universal took footage from several of its classic horror films, cut and pasted it together, and dubbed in a new silly soundtrack about how lobster gives you nightmares. This was back in the 30s, when the Universal horror films they stole footage from were at their height of popularity, making this even more of an oddity. Great fun and an excellent extra to throw on the Frankenstein DVD. Kudos to Universal for digging this up.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Amphetamines: Case Study (film #8 on The Educational Archives, Volume One: Sex & Drugs DVD (Fantoma, 2001)). [Category: Educational]

A 60s speed freak tells us what it's like to be a 60s speed freak, using lots of cool druggie lingo like "rap" and "wired." The scene of him trying to fix radios while high somehow reminds me of Dick York and his radios in Shy Guy. All that's included is this self-narrated segment about his feelings while on speed, making me think that this might be an excerpt rather than a whole film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: *.

American Women: Partners in Research (film #135 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

This 50s film, sponsored by Corning Glass, is purportedly about market research in consumer products, but it's really one long, oppressive collection of gender-role stereotypes. It starts with a campy sequence of head shots of housewives expressing their preferences, though for what, we don't know. Then our manly host Chet Huntley appears and over scenes of women shopping and drinking coffee in a kitchen says, "These women are doing research." Chet then tells us all about how companies like Corning are using the opinions of women to design household products, in a tone similar to one an animal behaviorist might use when presenting his paper on the social behavior of some rare species of jungle fauna. He does this while stroking a large phallic-looking rocket nose cone on his desk, and he is careful to specify that all the designers and engineers are MEN. He also mentions that although they are all great designers, all their hard work could come to naught because "women have minds of their own." Then we get to see the step-by-step process Corning uses to design a new coffee percolator. This includes lots of fun scenes of industrial machinery exposing Corningware dishes to various kinds of abuse. The only women employees shown are one woman whose job it is to test the coffee pot to see if it makes coffee that meets the standards of the Coffee Institute, and, of course, the "girls" in the test kitchen. All these women probably got home economics degrees from Iowa State College. In the end, the percolator is put to the ultimate test by being offered for sale in a department store. Husbands are informed that due to the sophisticated mind-control, er, I mean, "market research" techniques by Corning, their wives will demand the coffee pot despite all logic. This film is a must-see for a "ladies night" of msting––you hardly know where to start with it. Though no one instance of sexism is particularly jaw-dropping, it has a cumulative effect that just doesn't quit.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: ***.

Attack on a China Mission (film #35 on The Movies Begin, Volume Two: The European Pioneers (Kino Video, 1994)). [Category: Early Film & TV]

This film was a recreation of an actual event which took place during the Boxer Rebellion in China. A happy European family frolics in the front yard of a Victorian home when they are assaulted by a few Chinese rebels in traditional garb wielding swords. The family runs indoors in fright. Suddenly a huge group of European soldiers armed with guns appears. They kill the Chinese rebels with dispatch but go on firing at the house for some reason. One wonders on the accuracy of this recreation. A 1900 James A. Williamson film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: .

Classic Sci-Fi Trailers, Vol. 8 (Sinister Cinema). [Category: Commercial]

Some more trailers from science fiction movies from the 50s, 60s, and 70s. Lots of giant Japanese monsters on this one, plus both The Thing With Two Heads and The Incredible Two-Headed Transplant! Gets 5 extra points for throwing in some drive-in ephemera.

Highlights:

Gimmick Alert! Teenage Caveman was filmed in Superama! Godzilla vs. the Thing is in Eye-Jolting Color and Terrorscope!
Island of Lost Women stars John Smith!
War Between the Planets is "great family film fare from Fanfare!"
The Navy vs. the Night Monsters was released by the Standard Club of America. Cyborg 2087 was released by Feature Film Corp. of America. Such memorable names!
"Boys! Here's a chance to see if your GHOUL friend can take it!" Yup, it's another great spook show promo for the Giant All-Color Spook-a-Thon.
Mysteries of the Gods gives you William Shatner and Eric Von Daniken's theories all in one movie! How can you miss?
At the end of the tape, Sinister Cinema thanks Steve Bishop for some of the trailers. My guess is that Steve was responsible for all the giant Japanese monster trailers, which are in truly stunning condition. Thanks again, Steve.
Msties, take note: contains the trailer for Teenage Caveman.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

How to Undress (film #3 on Exploitation Mini Classics, Vol. 1 (Sinister Cinema)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

This most ridiculous example of a "Goofus and Gallant" film purports to teach wives how to undress in front of their husbands. Slinky Ethel is compared with fat Trixie, which allows the smarmy narrator to drool over one and humiliate the other. Of course, the real purpose of this film is to have a scene of a pretty woman stripping, which makes me suspect that very few women saw it in its day. Appalling.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

The Ed Sullivan Show (film #1 on Toast of the Town (Shokus Video)). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

This 1956 episode of "The Ed Sullivan Show" is a real hodge-podge from the days when tv was supposed to be for one mass audience. Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz plug their movie Forever Darling, Desi and the Ames Brothers sing the title song from same (with Lucy trying to butt in, as usual), the Ames Brothers go on to do some impressions of 50s pop singers, Rodgers and Hammerstein are interviewed and the Broadway cast of Pipe Dream (one of the lesser Rodgers & Hammerstein efforts) sings some songs from the show, Orson Welles does a scene from King Lear, Ed introduces some celebrities in the audience, and ends up not having enough time for a rather lame ventriloquist to perform. Most of the stuff is only mildly entertaining, but it does have a real 50s feel, giving you an education in what 50s audiences liked to see on tv. The most appalling part is the Pipe Dream sequence––despite the assertion on the show that this show was incredibly popular and sold out the first night, it seems to be unknown today, and frankly, the scenes here explain why. The appalling part was that this musical was supposedly based upon a John Steinbeck novel, perhaps not the top author on the should-never-be-turned-into-a-Rodgers-and-Hammerstein-musical list, but certainly in the top ten. Still, Ed almost makes up for it by cutting the ventriloquist short. Extra highlights include commercials for big ugly 50s cars and a really cheesy "next week" promo.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: *.

Admiral Dewey Leading Land Parade No. 2 (film #4 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]

This gives you some idea of what a military parade was like in 1899. Mostly it involved lots of horse-drawn carraiges, marching bands, and marching soldiers. Lots and lots of them. An 1899 Edison film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: .

Betty Crocker II (film #4 in the Commercials section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com)). [Category: Commercial]

This commercial is for the Betty Crocker Honey Spice Cake. It's historically interesting in that it emphasizes that "fresh eggs give the cake a fresh taste." Actually, cake mixes were formulated to add eggs because housewives felt too guilty to serve "just add water" cakes to their family––adding eggs made them feel like they were really cooking. An interesting piece of 50s housewife history.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Brunette (film #257 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

A pretty brunette strips for our pleasure in this short silent vintage stag film. She wears several layers of sexy undies, the better to tease you with, my dear. Mildly erotic, with the innocence of yesterday.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

Birth of a City (film #222 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]

This really should be called Birth of a Suburb. The planning and building of Broomfield Heights, Colorado, a suburb of Denver, is shown. You know what you're in for when you find out that the "city" is planned around a giant shopping mall. Now I don't live anywhere near Denver, but I just bet Broomfield Heights is just another neighborhood in its urban sprawl by now. After all, it is a "suburban dream of yesterday." Still, this movie is fun to mst, as it has bombastic, newsreel-style narration.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

We Interrupt This Program (MPI Home Video, 1990). [Category: News]

This tape presents ABC news footage from three major stories: the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr., the 1984 highjacking of an American airliner in Beirut by Lebonese terrorists, and the 1989 San Francisco earthquake. No explanation is given as to why these three stories in particular were chosen––perhaps they're the ones that have the most footage saved from them, or maybe it was a rights issue. Unfortunately, despite the title of the tape, we don't actually get to see "we-interrupt-this-program" footage, but we do get to see unedited news broadcasts from when the stories were breaking, including occasional slips of the tongue by newscasters and clumsy shifts from one news feed to another. Some of the footage is quite emotional, such as King's musical director being interviewed minutes after the shooting and obviously still in shock from it; a very frightened pilot of the highjacked plane shouting over the radio "We must have that fuel right now! Immediately!" after the highjackers threatened to start killing the passengers; the flight engineer of the highjacked plane sending a message to his family, including his father, followed by Peter Jennings telling us that the man's father had just died from a heart attack after hearing about the highjacking; a flight attendant from the highjacked plane describing the brutal murder of a Navy diver by the highjackers; a reporter standing on the very edge of a collapsed section of the Bay Bridge after the earthquake; and confused, panicking people running through the streets of the harder-hit San Francisco neighborhoods. I'd like to see more collections of such footage––it really defines the concept of historical interest.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: **.

Bathroom Boardroom (film #9 in the Indie section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com)). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

In this updated version of Ellis in Freedomland, a junior executive, after enduring the Performance Review from Hell, encounters another kind of nightmare when the fixtures in the men's room begin talking to him. Actually, I thought this would be another lame Movieflix Indie "cool", "ironic" comedy, until DISPENSOR began talking, which made me laugh out loud. I found the prissy British urirnal mildly amusing as well. It all ends as some sort of warped demonstration of Positive Leadership(tm), making it more of a present-day version of Ellis than you might think. Long live DISPENSOR!

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: ****.

Berlin Wall (film #4 in the Landmarks Around the World section of WPA Film Library). [Category: News]

A short clip of raw tv news footage of the erection of the Berlin Wall. A short but necessary bit of Cold War history.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: *.

Armistice in Korea (film #12 in the Korean War section of WPA Film Library). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

A Soviet representative announces the possibility of peace talks, then we see newsreel footage of the final days of the Korean War and President Truman talking about military successes and peace talks. A short, well-preserved document of the end of the Korean War.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

The American Road.

This 70s film shows us the early history of the automobile and how it changed America's way of life. Since it was sponsored by Ford, it focuses a lot on the Model T and it has an optomistic bias (cars have obviously improved things and there's no downside, is there?). The movie ends with optimistic, populuxe proclamations that the future will be better than ever, which is curious in a 70s film. Still, this is quite well-made and it has a real human feel to it. You really get a sense of what it must have been like to live in the pre-auto world and also what it was like to whether the changes that cars brought on the scene. The film contains lots of great archival footage of old cars and also lots of historical footage of Henry Ford, his family, and his cronies (is that Edison in the background?). Like many of the better industrial films, it hooks into your emotions at times, especially the feeling of freedom that car ownership provides. An interesting document of automotive and cultural history.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Atomic Tests in 3-D (extra on Trinity and Beyond: The Atomic Bomb Movie DVD (Goldhil Home Media, 1999)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

Did you know that they filmed some of the 50s atomic bomb tests in 3-D? The makers of Trinity and Beyond made this speical little mini-documentary showcasing this footage. The narration makes it sound like a travelogue for the Nevada Test Site (and indeed, you can take tours of it today). The footage, though, is the real attraction of this film. How much more 50s can you get than watching atomic explosions in 3-D? They of course include a pair of 3-D glasses with the DVD. This footage is a great find and it's one of my all-time favorite DVD extras.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: **.

The Battery (film #4 on Campy Classroom Classics, Vol. 4 (Something Weird, 2000)). [Category: Industrial]

This may be the stupidest sales training film ever made. It's as if Union 76 gathered together a bunch of drunk salesmen at a convention, divided them into small groups, and asked each group to make up a skit about a particular historical period and loosely connect it to the sale of Union 76 car batteries. Of course, the salesmen threw in lots of objectification of the female body––gotta please those crowds, after all. So let's hand out some awards to these drunk salesmen, shall we? The Silliest Skit award goes to the caveman sequence, hands down. The Most Appalling Sexism award goes to the Ancient Rome sequence, in which we're supposed to assume female slaves are car batteries, and all that that implies. The Weirdest Imagery award goes to the scene of Merlin's assistants working in the Union 76 R & D lab. And the Least Informative Sequence award goes to the film as a whole––it makes you constantly scratch your head and say, "And what does this have to do with car batteries?" Appalling, but, of course, great ephemera.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: (this gets docked for its overall lack of historical relevance). Overall Rating: ****.

Bongo Boards (film #1154 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Hollywood]

A short newsreel featurette from the mid 60s showing girls on the beach exercising with "bongo boards"––short boards balanced on cylinders on which the girls rock back and forth. Oh those kids and their fads! What will they think up next––pet rocks?

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

America's Presidents (film #351 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

This film quickly (sometimes very quickly) summarizes the careers of America's presidents from Washington to Eisenhower. For most of them, this is done in voice-over, over a picture of the president in question, but from McKinley onward, film clips of the presidents are shown. It's kind of fun, actually, to trip down the line, especially if you're a person who likes lists. Mostly, though, it's just what you'd expect.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

At the Altar (film #11 on The Origins of Cinema, Volume 4: The Arrival of D. W. Griffith (Video Yesteryear, 1995)). [Category: Early Film & TV]

A suitably melodramatic tale in which a pretty Italian-American woman almost has her wedding ruined by a dastardly cad of an old boyfriend who, rather than see the love of his life wed another, boobytraps the altar with a hidden gun, then kills himself by drinking poison. Fortunately, a servant discovers his body and suicide note (in which he tells all) and sends a cop down to the church to warn everybody. But will he make it in time? Will a stray chicken thwart him? Loads of fun with plenty of good old-fashioned scenery-chewing, especially the villian's death scene. A 1909 D. W. Griffith film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest:. Overall Rating: .

Classic Sci-Fi Trailers, Vol. 7 (Sinister Cinema). [Category: Commercial]

More and more trailers from science fiction movies from the 50s, 60s, and 70s. This tape seems to focus mostly on humanoid monsters, alien invasions, and scientific experiments gone wrong. Gets 5 extra points for throwing in some drive-in ephemera.

Highlights:

The trailer for Untamed Women features the classic line, "Shoot anything with hair on it that moves!" I hope that includes that creepy, unshaven guy who speculates upon the "other motives" of the Untamed Women.
The Abominable Snowman of the Himalayas is coming to this theater! Maybe he has a date with the Tingler!
The Human Vapor is "the most terrifying experience in scientific history!" I'd like to read the journal article that supports that claim.
D-Day on Mars was "adapted in 1966 from The Purple Monster Strikes." That would imply that this incredibly creaky film from the 1940s was passed off to 1960s audiences as something new!
Msties, take note: contains the trailers for Rocket Attack U.S.A., The Killer Shrews (not the classic one with Radford Baines, alas), The Amazing Transparent Man, The Slime People, and Marooned (a.k.a. Space Travelers).

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

How to Hold a Husband (film #6 on Exploitation Mini-Classics, Vol. 2 (Sinister Cinema)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

Mainly it involves wearing skimpy lingerie. Like How to Undress, it's purportedly aimed at women, but I seriously doubt any women went into the kind of theaters that showed this. Quite short and very cheesy.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: .

Drive-In Werewolf (extra on Monsters Crash the Pajama Party Spook Show Spectacular DVD (Something Weird, 2001)). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

Hey, folks, it's intermission time! Time to go on out to the snack bar and...TURN INTO A WEREWOLF!!!! This clip from a cheap exploitation flick looks as if it has had an "alternate" soundtrack dubbed in. I doubt if the werewolf in the original movie complained about eating Japanese food, but who knows? A fun little extra on a DVD full of fun little extras.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Universal Pictures Newsreel (intermission item on Walk-In Double Feature #3 (Sinister Cinema)). [Category: News]

The shooting of Lee Harvey Oswald and JFK's funeral are documented in this 1963 newsreel. It's hard to imagine that this was news to any of the theater-goers of the time, considering the extensive tv coverage of these events. The film of Oswald's shooting was taken from tv footage, in fact. It all just goes to show why newsreels died. It's an interesting relic of the newsreel's death throes, though.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: *.

Atomic Power at Shippingport (film #172 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

This film documents in great and technical detail the building of the first nuclear power plant at Shippingport, Pennsylvania. As such, it has lots of historical interest, but it's boring, boring, boring to anyone who's not a nuclear power geek. One slightly fun moment is at the end when the plant is first switched on and we see a series of neon signs in a local city light up. But most of this film will put you right to sleep.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: *.

Americans at Work: Barbers and Beauticians.

This film, made by the AFL-CIO, gives us a detailed view of what barber and beauty shops were like before the 60s revolution turned them into Unisex Salons. It's pretty straightforward, with a mildly campy sequence where Dad and Junior have to wait for Mom and Sis to come out of the beauty shop (Dad chainsmokes 3 cigarettes while waiting!). Still, there's a lot of historical interest here.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: .

Betty in Blunderland (extra on Drive-In Discs, Volume One: The Screaming Skull & The Giant Leeches DVD (Elite Entertainment 2000)) [Category: Hollywood]

. Betty goes through the looking glass and ends up in Alice's Wonderland. This is pretty much a hybrid of the Alice stories and Betty Boop cartoons. It starts to get away from its source somewhat when a huge dragon (who's suppoed to be Jabberwocky) comes out of the Mad Hatter's hat and attacks Betty, turning the proceedings into a typical little-guys-against-the-big-bad-guy cartoon. Not bad, but it could be weirder.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

An American Girl (film #363 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

This film, made by the same folks responsible for All the Way Home, show us the underside of the "nice, simpler time" of the 50s, this time from a teen's perspective. Teenaged girl Norma gets a pretty silver charm bracelet for her birthday from her little sister, who bought it in a second-hand store. When Norma returns to the store with her friends to get the storekeeper to decipher some foreign characters on one of the charms, she finds out it is a Jewish bracelet. When the storekeeper shows her a star of David charm that goes with it, Norma has it put on the bracelet, despite the protests of her friends, who think it is "weird." Norma does it because she thinks it's pretty, but she finds that wearing a bracelet with Jewish symbols on it is "not done" in her neighborhood and it leads to ostracism by most of the kids at school, including her best friends. One of her friend's mothers actually accuses Norma of hiding a Jewish identity and insists that she should make friends with "her own kind." Fortunately, Norma's parents are unusually intelligent and thoughtful in this matter. They realize that they cannot shield their daughter from the ugliness that is showing in their "nice" neighborhood after the bracelet scratched its surface, and they allow Norma to make her own decision about what to do about it, according to her own conscience. Norma chooses to confront the PTA with her experiences by reading her diary aloud to them. This film is a good counterpoint to the social guidance films made during this period, most of which stress "fitting in." What those other films failed to show was that some people were not even given a chance to "fit in" and that conforming to the group is not always a good thing. The fact that the filmmakers didn't actually make Norma Jewish just shows how pervasive the problem of racism was, and how it was covered up with innuendo and hints, in order to maintain the facade of "niceness." Again, this is a film that is necessary viewing in order to get a more complete version of what the 50s were like, and the price that was paid for its "niceness."

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: ***.

As Seen Through a Telescope (film #26 on The Movies Begin, Volume Two: The European Pioneers (Kino Video, 1994)). [Category: Early Film & TV]

Somebody discovered that you could simulate the experience of looking through a telescope, sort of, by filming through a black mask with a round hole in it. Of course, one of the first uses of this device is in a film about a voyeur. He spies on a woman getting fitted for new shoes, and through the "telescope" device we get to see––gasp!––several inches of her ankle! Of course, she's still wearing her industrial-strength black stockings––I told you I wouldn't be reviewing porno, after all. What we really get to see "through the telescope" is a view of what a previous era considered racy. A 1900 George Albert Smith film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: .

Classic Sci-Fi Trailers, Vol. 6 (Sinister Cinema). [Category: Commercial]

Good grief, more trailers from science fiction movies from the 50s, 60s, and 70s. This tape seems to focus mostly on science fiction horror. Again, lots of fun. Gets 5 points for throwing in some drive-in ephemera here and there.

Highlights:

Tobor the Great is a great hokey robot. "Gramps, don't you do it!"
Gimmick Alert! Conquest of Space was billed as being a true story––before it happens! The 30 Foot Bride of Candy Rock was filmed in Wonderama and Matterscope!
Both Queen of Outer Space and Dark Star were advertised as serious science fiction!
"Your eyes will glaze! Your ears will pop!" claims the trailer for Journey to the Seventh Planet. Sounds like a typical airline flight.
The trailer for Queen of Blood promises to "turn the Milky Way into a Galaxy of Gore!" That's sure to bring in the alien tourist trade!
Journey to the Center of Time was brought to us by American General Pictures. I guess they didn't want to get too specific.
She Demons features "a power-mad genus (sic)!" Now that would make biology class interesting.
Msties, take note: contains the trailer for Beginning of the End.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

The Great Piggy Bank Robbery (film #2 on Cartoons for Big Kids (Turner Home Entertainment, 1989)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

This is one of the all-time great Warner Brothers cartoons. Daffy Duck plays detective Duck Twacy, an outrageous parody of Dick Tracy, who tracks down a case of stolen piggy banks. This is one of the most visually amazing of any of the Warner Brothers toons––somebody must have had a whole lot of fun drawing a bunch of faux Dick Tracy villains. And on top of that, the toon is very funny. Hint: use the pause button at various points during the scene where all the villains fall over, one after the other––the animators slipped in some fun surprises. Another item for the Film Ephemera Museum of Quirky Devices: the streetcar cards marked "To the Villain's Secret Hideout". Highly recommended.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: ***.

Doctor Who: Shada (Fox Video, 1992). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

"Shada" is the Great Lost "Dr. Who" Episode––due to a strike at the BBC, it was never finished. This was a shame, because it supposedly had an excellent script by Douglas Adams. This tape rectifies that situation. "Shada" has been reconstructed here, using the footage that was shot, and filling in the holes with narration. And the narration is done by none other than Tom Baker himself. Baker, although noticeably older than in his "Dr. Who" days, does an excellent job with the narration––it really looks like he's having fun. And the episode is no disappointment. An evil alien named Skagra gets ahold of an ancient Timelord book which was in the possession of Cambridge Professor Chronotis, who is really a very old Timelord himself. Skagra has the ability to steal peoples' minds through the use of a robotic sphere, and he wants to use the book to gain access to Shada, the Timelords' prison planet. There he plans to hook up with the infamous Timelord criminal Salievin, who has the power to invade peoples' minds, and use their combined technology to steal all minds in the universe and combine them into one infinite, all-powerful Universal Mind. Professor Chronotis is a wonderful absentminded professor character, and the story has lots of great twists and turns and surprises. Baker's narration is strong enough that the episode doesn't suffer from having missing segments. "Dr. Who" fans won't want to miss this. One of the best examples I've seen of piecing together a "lost episode" of a tv series.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Admiral Dewey Leading Land Parade (film #3 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]

This film documents a military parade led by Admiral Dewey. The uniforms are amazing. An 1899 Edison film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

NASA, Volume Two Film Reel (extra on NASA DVD (Madacy Entertainment, 1999)). [Category: News]

This is a clip of President John Kennedy giving his "we choose to go to the moon" speech, interspersed visually with clips from the 60s space missions. It's not exactly a "film reel" but it is a mildly interesting bit of news footage.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Betty Crocker (film #3 in the Commercials section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com)). [Category: Commercial]

Betty Crocker offers a money-back gurantee on her cake mixes and gives us several serving tips for honey spice cake. A mildly fun bit of housewifey ephemera from the 50s.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

The Bronze Buckaroo (film #5 in the Black Culture section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

This all-black cast western from the 30s is incredibly cheaply made. It has a standard western plot involving Cowboy Bob saving his old pal Joe Jackson from a gang of outlaws who are trying to steal his land, and a comic-relief subplot involving ventriloquism and a "talking" mule. The comic relief characters are a bit hard to watch, as they are as stereotyped as black comic relief characters in other movies of the time. Still, at least in this one the hero and the heroine get to be black, too (though their the lightest-skinned of the bunch).

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

Better Housing News Flashes (film #208 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]

A couple of short, government-sponsored newsreel clips showing how the New Deal is creating more housing and more jobs in building new houses. Construction workers are put back to work building new houses as part of a government-sponsored program, and a middle-class couple inspects a model home, now made affordable by National Housing Administration mortgages. The first scene is pretty standard, and the second is mildly cute. A fun little piece of 30s history.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

Barbie's Audition (film #5 in the Film and Video Section of Illegal Art). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

In this highly disturbing film, a young woman's movie audition turns to casting couch turns to rape, the young woman being played by a Barbie doll and the rapist being played by a full-grown man. The guy holds the Barbie doll very close to the camera throughout the film, which reduces her dollishness somewhat and he makes her respond to what is happening by moving her in various gestures. The effect is real enough to be highly disturbing, and this says something about violence against women, the way such violence is glorified on film, and how the cultural standards of beauty that are idealized in the Barbie doll make women more vulnerable. The film treads a fine line between social commentary and offensiveness. To my mind, it never actually goes over the line, but it gets awfully damn close. Close enough so that it might go over the line for others, so be warned and think carefully before viewing it.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

China Central TV (film #7 on Television Archive). [Category: News]

This is a 30-minute clip of Chinese tv on September 11, 2001. It starts with news coverage of the events of the day, which is basically a recap of images better covered elsewhere. But the rest of it is just regular Chinese tv. So if you want to know what tv is like in China, here's your clip. It includes commercials, an investigative report about education, a painting demonstration by what must be the Bob Ross of China, and a profile of an elderly couple, the woman of which may be American because she speaks English with an American accent at times. All of this is, of course, in Chinese, with no subtitles (no English subtitles anyway––many of the segments have Chinese subtitles, which may be a translation of the various Chinese dialects). Still, this is more interesting than you might think, especially the commercials, some of which are almost as annoying as American commercials.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

American Fashion and Department Stores: The Pro-Mass Production View (film #117 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

A marketing class goes on a field trip to a Montgomery Ward store and learns how the Monkey Ward system of catalog merchandising is so darn great, and how the American system of buying and selling goods is so much better than systems of doing business in those other countries. Several of the students are from those other countries, giving handy-dandy descriptions of how business is done at home that the professor can use as negative examples. None of them mind, though––they're all eager to learn the American way of doing things. One interesting thing about this movie is that it contains film footage of a Russian fashion show and of the GUM Department Store in Moscow that looks authentic, which was probably none too easy to get during the time that it was made. This adds to the historical value of the film. Mostly, though, this is the usual 50s big business propaganda film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: .

Atomic Energy as a Force for Good (film #410 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

Rancher John Vernon is approached by a representative of the Atomic Energy Commission who wants to buy options on his land for building a nuclear power plant. Vernon is against having anything to do with "the bomb" and he gets the town to pass a resolution petitioning their congressman to stop the plant from being built. So the pro-nuke congressman comes to town, bringing along with him an atomic scientist, who shows them all a film about the peaceful uses of nuclear energy. One of those uses involves using radiation to identify the location of brain tumors, and this really gets to Vernon, because his little granddaughter has one and doctors have given her a death sentence. Suddenly, he flip-flops his stance and is all for the nuclear plant being built. This film is very earnest and tries very hard to be fair about this issue, making Vernon and the other townspeople thoughtful and intelligent instead of ignorant knee-jerkers in their opposition to the plant, but its pro-nuke stance is obvious and that in the end makes the resolution overly simplistic. Just because there are some benefits of atomic research does not really resolve the issues the townspeople originally brought up. Perhaps if the film had made it more clear what specifically the proposed plant was supposed to do it would have helped. As it is, it promotes black-and-white thinking about nuclear energy––if it's not 100% evil, if you can find even the tiniest benefit from it, then you must be 100% for it. Sorry, but I think it's a lot more complex than that. And it's disturbing to me to see the town be so easily reassured about atomic energy. The film's very earnestness and intelligence make it a much more subtle and effective piece of propaganda than the campier films on this site, and that makes it more disturbing.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: **.

Admiral Dewey Landing at Gibralter (film #2 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]

A landing boat arrives at a pier and a couple of guys get off. I'm not even sure which one is Admiral Dewey. I guess there's some historical interest here, but not much else. An 1899 Edison film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: .

Assignment Venezuela (film #1 on Assignment Venezula and Other Shorts (Best Brains, 2001). Also, film #162 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

Aha! One of my Ephemera Holy Grails has been released! This lost mst3k short was originally intended for a Voyager mst3k CD-ROM, a project that was ultimately abandoned. The rough-cut of the short, complete with time code, was shown at the Coventio-Con Expo-Fest-a-Rama II: Electric Bugaloo, where I saw it. I despaired in Issue #0 of LBC that it would ever see the light of day on video, but it turned out that Best Brains heard my plea and responded. The film on this tape is the same rough-cut that was shown at the Con. It's much longer than most mst3k shorts, since they didn't have to deal with the time restrictions of a tv episode. Made by the Creole Oil Company (every mention of the name causes the bots to start frantically scatting in gumbo-speak), it features an incredibly dorky American engineer who gets transferred to the company oil fields in Venezuela and writes detailed letters about the country to his wife and kids back home. Of course, he only gets to see the most "modern", Americanized parts of the country. His wife's clothing and make-up are a scream––did women ever really look like that? The msting is great, especially during the scene when the guy has a night out at the bar which he fails to tell his wife about in the letter. This was worth waiting for.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Msting: . Overall Rating: .

The Best Made Plans

The Best Made Plans.

A 50s housewife solves all problems with Saran Wrap plastic film. Of course, all her problems are the kinds we all want to have, such as freezer burn, last-minute party favors, and an unexpected trip to visit her sister, who has just given birth. I have a special affection for 50s home economics films like these––they inhabit an unreal, spotless world where all problems are quickly and easily solved by using the correct products. My favorite moment in this one is when the friendly neighbor lady solves the party favor problem by showing the little girl how to make "flowers" from hard candies wrapped in Saran Wrap––when the husband asks if he can help, she sends him into the kitchen to boil water, as if a home birth were imminent. Lots of fun and quite mstable.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Brink of Disaster (film #252 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

College student John Smith holes up in the library while a riot is going on, armed with a baseball bat. While there, he encounters the ghost of an ancestor of his who was killed in the Revolutionary War. They are soon joined by one of the history professors, and the three of them "discuss" the recent student protests. Both the professor and the ghost are dead set against the students, equating any sort of dissent with the worst kind of violence and looting. The student responds by occasionally giving extremely lame justifications for the students' behaviors, justifications that totally play into the hands of the professor and the ghost. In the end, though, the student turns out to be one of "them"––i.e. the hippies––and is just about ready to turn the professor over to his cronies, when the ghost knocks him out with the stock of his rifle. However, this only will only delay the ultimate confrontation, as the rioters are already chopping through the locked door with axes. It ends with the lurid title “Will you let this be...THE END??" This strident right-wing film tries to address student violence using a Sid Davis approach, which ends up being laughably unsuccessful. The filmmakers show absolutely no understanding of the students point of view. Indeed, the students are portrayed as Bad Guys whose only point is wanton, pointless destruction, which misses the point that students were also supposed to be the films' audience––when was the last time you were swayed by an argument that portrays you as evil? Student dissent is equated with "filth," i.e. "dirty" books and movies, sexual promiscuity, illegal drug use, and communism, which therefore makes it Evil in the eyes of the filmmakers, leading innevitably to wanton violence and destruction. This black-and-white thinking is laughably simplistic and ignorant of the real factors playing into the violence on college campuses at the time. The film, if it had any impact on its intended audience other than laughter, probably just made it more angry and rebellious. After the professor's self-righteous harrangue, the students in the audience were probably rooting for the rioters by the end of the film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Believe It or Not (recoreded off of Turner Classic Movies). [Category: Hollywood]

This filmed version of the Ripley's comic strip plays a lot like the strip itself. Ripley himself narrates and shows us a number of unusual things, some of rather dubious authenticity (like the two 121-year-old Missourians––ages are notoriously hard to verify), some that seem more like jokes than serious oddities (the $25-a-month apartment on Wall Street), and some that are obviously real and quite interesting (the giant steaming teapot sign in Boston, the tightrope-walking dog). The beginning is rather upsetting as Ripley makes light of 8-year-old girls in other cultures who become mothers, and the audience titters along. Yeah, buddy, you try being enslaved in a harem and giving birth with a child's body, and you'll find out just how funny it is.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Belo Horizonte (film #442 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]

This film is a midcentury portrait of Belo Horizonte, Brazil's "planned city with a plan" (wonder if there's any planning involved?). It's not so much about the planning of the city as it is a promotional travelogue about how great the city is, with a heavy focus on the minerals produced in the area. Of course, all of the great things about the city are supposed to be a result of its planning, which controls everything, right down to the schools, churches, recreational facilities, social service agencies, and prisons. By the time they get to the prisons, the "planning" starts to seem a little Orwellian, especially as they end the film with the citizens marching in precise military order, while the narrator rhapsodizes about a "well-ordered Brazil". Fortunately, you just know it's not so neat and tidy in real life.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

Bank Robbery (film #11 in the Indie section of Movieflix (www. movieflix.com)). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

A bank robber, running from the police, deposits his money bag in the hands of a random passerby. The passerby turns out to be a sci-fi geek and you can guess what he does with the money. This one at least made me smile a little bit.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: *.

BBC World News (film #3 on Television Archive). [Category: News]

This is up-to-the-minute BBC footage of September 11, starting with footage of the burning north tower after the first plane hit it. While the newscasters are struggling to find something to say (since they still knew very little about the cause of it), we clearly see the second plane smash into the south tower, causing a spectacular explosion. As usual with this sort of thing, it takes a few minutes for the newscasters to realize what has happened. "Obviously, there's chaos there now," one of them says in a dry, clipped British accent. Afterwards, they are able to interview by telephone several eyewitnesses to the second crash. This is gripping and essential footage of the drama of 9/11 unfolding before our eyes.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: ***.

Am I Trustworthy? (film #78 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

Eddie is upset because he wasn't elected treasurer of his hobby club––instead he was put on the clean-up committee. His kindly dad helps him to see that he needs to work on being more trustworthy. This is a typically earnest and innocent Coronet film. It's not all that campy per se, but it could be good fodder for msting. Eddie is somewhat less polished than the typical Coronet child actor and his club is one of those generic young peoples' clubs that exists only in films like this. Other than that, it's pretty ordinary Coronet fare.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: *.

American Engineer (film #345 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

Another lush Jam Handy "American" film sponsored by Chevrolet, this one singing the praises of engineers and their work. Lots of scenes of buildings, constructions, highways, factories, and miscellaneous products of science and technology are shown while the narrator gives a never-ending stream of bombastic praise for technological progress and how wonderful it all is. No downside to this progress is even hinted at for a second, not even for such things as nuclear submarines, bulldozers plowing up the landscape, or endless freeways. As usual for the "American" films, the visuals are striking and lush, the color is eye-popping, the future portrayed is a rosy World of Tommorow (complete with picturephones), and it's strongly hinted that automaking is a vital part of it all. This is more focused on industrial and architectural wonders than on consumer products, like the other "American" films, making it slightly less campy. Still, like all the films in this series, it gives a wonderful view of 50s populuxe idealism at its most bombastic. The Prelinger Archive is to be commended on both the beautiful film quality of the print they have (it looks like it was made yesterday) and the high-quality digitizing of the MPEG-2 that I downloaded and put onto VCD––it's almost entirely free of pixelization.

Ads & Clips (extra on Drive-In Discs, Vol. 3 DVD (Elite Entertainment, 2003)). [Category: Commerical]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Animation Class: Lesson 2 Frames per Second (film #10 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms. Also, film #8 in the Drama section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

The First Great Debate: Kennedy vs. Nixon (track #14 on Stay Tuned: Television's Unforgettable Moments DVD (Garner Creative Concepts, 2002)). [Category: News]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

The Brave Tin Soldier (film #25 on The Cartoons That Time Forgot: The Ub Iwerks Collection, Vol. 1 (Image Entertainment, 1999)). [Category: Hollywood]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Animals in Modern Life (film #381 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.

Atomic Energy Can Be a Blessing (film #3 on The Educational Archives, Vol. 6: Religion (Fantoma, 2003)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Around the Corner (film #152 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

An Awful Moment (film #6 on The Origins of Cinema, Vol. 4: The Arrival of D. W. Griffith (Video Yesteryear, 1995)). [Category: Early Film & TV]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.

Coffee House Rendezvous (film #343 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: *****.

Classic Toy Commercials (Moon River, 1993). [Category: Commercial]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

After Launching (film #8 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.

King Size Canary (film #1 on Cartoons for Big Kids (Turner Home Entertainment, 1989)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: *****.

Film Bloopers (extra on And Then There Were None DVD (Madacy Entertainment, 2001)). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Bridging San Francisco Bay (film #249 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: **.

Atoms for Peace (film #174 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: **.

Centron Commercial (extra on Carnival of Souls DVD (Criterion Collection, 2000)). [Category: Industrial]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Ads & Clips (extra on Drive-In Discs, Vol. 2 (Elite Entertainment, 2001)). [Category: Commercial]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Animation Class: Lesson 1 (film #9 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms. Also, film #7 in the Drama section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Aristocrats of Fashion (film #149 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

The Fall of the Berlin Wall (track #21 on Stay Tuned: Television's Unforgettable Moments DVD (Garner Creative Concepts, 2002)). [Category: News]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

The Boogie Woogieman (extra on Monsters Crash the Pajama Party Spook Show Spectacular DVD (Something Weird, 2001)). [Category: Hollywood]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Advance of Kansas Volunteers at Caloocan (film #7 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film and TV]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Co-Ed Secrets (film #338 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.

Animals in the Service of Man (film #140 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Andy's Animal Alphabet (film #378 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ****.

Earthquake (film #470 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: News]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A (though the moment in the office gets ***). Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ***.

The Avenging Conscience (Sinister Cinema, 1999). [Category: Early Film & TV]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Another Cup of Coffee (film #142 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Classic Sports Commercials (Moon River, 1993). [Category: Commercial]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: *** (add a star if you're a sports fan). Overall Rating: ** (add a star if you're a sports fan).

Big Dumb Monster Trailers (extra on Mighty Gorga/One Million AC/DC DVD (Something Weird, 2002)). [Category: Commercial]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Among a Mafia (film #5 in the Action section of Brickfilms. Also, film #6 in the Drama section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.

Jungle Jitters (film #12 on Cartoon Scandals (Goodtimes, 1987)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.

Admiral Dewey Taking Leave of Washington Committee on the U.S. Cruiser Olympia (film #6 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.

Betty Crocker Yummy Cake (film #6 in the Commercial section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com)). [Category: Commercial]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Chloe (Something Weird, 1997). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ***.

Felix the Cat (film #39 on Chicago Television (Hollywood's Attic, 1996)). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.

Dream Hospital (film #1816 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: News]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Boys' Club Promo (recorded off of American Movie Classics). [Category: Public Service]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.

Alone (film #4 in the Drama section of Brickfilms. Also, film #2 in the Horror section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ****.

America's Distribution of Wealth (film #108 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

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Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: ***.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: **.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: **.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A (though the moment in the office gets ). Weirdness: . Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: *.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: * (add a star if you're a sports fan). Overall Rating: (add a star if you're a sports fan).

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: *.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: *.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: ****.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Msting: . Overall Rating: ***.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: *.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: ***.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: *.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: **.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: ****.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: *.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: **.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: (this gets docked for its overall lack of historical relevance). Overall Rating: ****.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest:. Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: .

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: *.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: . Weirdness: . Historical Interest: . Overall Rating: *.