Armour’s Electric Trolley (film #14 on Edison Film Archive) [Category: Early Film and TV].

An electric trolley, designed to carry cargo, rolls out of a factory. It’s an interesting piece of old-fashioned technology, giving this film historical interest, but not much else. An 1897 Edison film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Drums O’Voodoo (Sinister Cinema). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

This lively all-black cast film from the 30s has a strange premise. A preacher is being harassed by an evil gambler who comes to town. The gambler threatens to reveal an awful secret about the preacher to his congregation unless the preacher lets him have his pretty niece. What’s strange is that a local voodoo granny is enlisted to help out this situation, and she and the preacher are portrayed as comrades, not adversaries. The acting leaves no scenery unchewed and is full of stereotypes, and it ends very abruptly without total resolution. Still, this movie is a great deal of fun, especially counting the inclusion of authentic-sounding gospel music to the very campy revival meeting scene.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

The Children Must Learn (film #313 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]

This 40s film presents the educational problems of the children of the Appalachian mountain people, and advocates for these children being taught better farming methods within a curriculum that is more relevant to their world than the standard one. The film contains realistic scenes of children at home in their mountain cabins waking up, getting dressed for school, eating a breakfast of cornpone, sausage, and greasy gravy, and walking long distances to a one-room schoolhouse that looks like an artifact of the 19th century. The soundtrack music consists of authentic mountain people folksongs. The film ends up unresolved, as we don’t find out if the new educational program was very helpful or effective. But the film does give us a fascinating snapshot of rural Appalachian life as it was lived in the 40s, as well as projecting a stark, strange mood.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Gillum: The Way That I Am (Brentwood Music, 1992). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

So how does this rock video of a white Christian rapper qualify as ephemera? Because I got it through American Science & Surplus' random tape deal, that's how. And how does it rate as ephemera? About as well as you'd expect a rock video from a white Christian rapper to rate, that's how.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: **.

Battle of Britain (film #5 in the WWII section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com). Also, tape #4 of the series WWII Special Edition (Madacy Entertainment, 1997)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

The WWII Special Edition boxed set is actually the complete "Why We Fight" series directed by Frank Capra, something they don't make clear on the package (see the review of Prelude to War for information on the "Why We Fight" series). This fourth film in the series documents the struggle of Great Britain during the hellacious year of 1940, when Hitler tried to break her spirit through relentless bombing. It's actually quite an exciting, inspiring story. Britain was definitely the underdog, but she won out in the end due to a combination of brilliant fighting by the R.A.F. and a spirit that couldn't be broken. It looks like the archival film footage used here was taken not only from newsreel footage, but also from British propaganda films––there are a lot of amusing scenes of British stiff-upper-lipped pluck ("Is she dead?" "'Fraid so."). One of the more entertaining films in this series.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

The Ann Sothern Show (film #2 in the Primetime TV section of Retromedia). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

Fairly campy opening of the early 60s sitcom “The Ann Sothern Show.” Ms. Sothern wears a polka-dot dress to die for and the sponsor, Post cereals, adds some dorky dancers to the mix. A piece of 60s tv fluff.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Henry Ford’s Mirror of America (film #659 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: News]

Henry Ford set up a film studio at Ford and that studio made a lot of newsreels and documentaries, documenting American life in the early 20th century. This early 60s film commemorates the donation of those films to the National Archives and contains footage from the films in a collage of American life from 1914 to the mid 20s. We see rural life, factory footage, footage of presidents and other celebrities, lots of footage of World War I, and footage that shows how American life was changed by the automobile. Sound effects are effectively added to this footage, making it seem like sound footage at some points. Narration is added that is not overbearing or distracting, but does give you some idea of what you’re looking at. It all adds up to an interesting portrait of early 20th century American life, somewhat conventional, but with lots of historical value.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Design for Dreaming (film #35 on Ephemeral Films CD-ROM (Voyager). Also, film #3 on Lifestyles U.S.A., Vol. 1 (Something Weird, 2000). Also, MST3K Episode #524: 12 to the Moon. Also, film #3 on Our Secret Century, Vol. 1: The Rainbow Is Yours CD-ROM (Voyager). Also, film #422 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

Man, was that a weird dream, or what? No, you're not dreaming, you're watching an industrial film! A woman dreams a man in a tux and a silver mask comes into her bedroom and whisks her away to the GM Motorama at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel. She sings, dances, flies, gets all the cars she wants, makes a frosted cake with lit birthday candles merely by pushing a button in the Kitchen of Tomorrow ("I call no way!" says Crow), cavorts in various fashions, and cruises the Highway of the Future with her silver-masked beau. This film was designed to generate excitement for the Motorama and act as a replacement for it for those who couldn't make it to New York. It all comes off like one of those silly, improvisational "musicals" they do on "Whose Line Is It Anyway?", only with lavish production values ("OK, you're to make up a musical about "the latest fashions", "cars", "birthday cakes", "dreams", and "the future"––go!"). An interesting piece of trivia: Apparently the film has no actual scenes of the Motorama––it was filmed in its entirety on a soundstage in Florida! Msties take note: The Our Secret Century CD-ROM has an interview with Tad Tadlock, the original Nuveena!

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: *****. Msting: ***. Overall Rating: ****.

Bug Vaudeville (film #8 on Animation Legend Winsor McCay DVD (Lumivision, 1997)). [Category: Hollywood]

Well, you've heard of a flea circus, haven't you? So why not a vausdeville show performed by insects? If this had to exist, then McCay was the man to do it. Like all the cartoons on this DVD, this is beautifully animated and quite charming. The insect performances are simultaneously anthropomorphic and quite bug-like––McCay must have closely observed real insects before making this. Another great McCay early cartoon, with great soundtrack music, too.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Automotive Service (film #179 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

Part of the “Your Life Work” series, this vocational training film presents the exciting career field of auto mechanics and makes it seem dull and requiring lots of education. Good thing most mechanics got into the field through tinkering with cars or we wouldn’t have anybody to fix our vehicles. A very ordinary film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.

Are You Ready for Marriage?.

Larry loves Sue. Sue loves Larry. Larry and Sue want to get married. Problem: Sue's parents don't approve. So Larry and Sue visit a marriage counselor over at "the church" and he tells them they won't be ready for marriage until they become one fused unit––otherwise, their marriage might snap like a rubber band! ("Where'd it go??" they cry.) The marriage counselor's props alone provide great camp value (Mike: "Roger Marris' Action Marriage Set, with Real Marriage Action!"). It's also fun to watch Sue's parents (who must be at least in their 70's) spout psychobabble. And the msting is great fun.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Msting: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Arabian Gun Twirler (film #13 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]

An Arab twirls his rifle like a baton in the greatest display of gun handling since the detective in Plan 9 from Outer Space. An 1899 Edison film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Brandon (film #240 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Commercial]

This filmed sleeping pill is a promotional travelogue about Brandon, a historical plantation in the James River area of ol’ Virginny (sorry, this film makes me lapse into a bad southern accent, and I’m not even from the south). Narrated by somebody’s southern great aunt after being given a good dose of Valium, it mostly features footage of flowers and trees, enough so that you begin to suspect the Ladies’ Gardening Club was behind this. African-American plantation employees are portrayed as if slavery was only recently repealed, and parts of the plantation have yet to hear the news. Seeing that footage, though, will require you to stay awake beyond the first five minutes of the film, which, believe me, is not easy. “Goin’ Home” is played more times and more slowly than at FDR’s funeral. Insomniacs should enjoy this because it will cure their problem. Others will find it somewhat less than satisfying.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.

The Bangville Police (film #4 in the Silent section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com)). [Category: Early Film & TV]

Mabel Normand thinks she hears burglars in the barn, so she panics and calls the Bangville Police, a rustic version of Keystone's finest. While they are bungling their way to her she informs a neighbor of the situation and baracades herself in the house. It all turns out to be a misunderstanding, of course, but it allows lots of silly antics to ensue. Unfortunately, this is one of Keystone's weaker efforts. A 1913 Keystone film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.

Drive-In Movie Double Feature #26 (Sinister Cinema). [Category: Commercial]

Another fun collection of snack bar promos, featuring terrible-looking food and the Ubiquitous Family, who appears in almost every promo!

Highlights:

• Dr. Pepper made several great animated beatnik jazz snack bar promos. Watch for one on this tape, featuring a pretty 60's blonde singing "Drink Dr. Pepper, Doc-Dr. Pepper, 'cause it never lets you down!" Crazy, man!
  
• You can now enjoy your favorite form of movie entertainment, regardless of rain, thanks to a Drizzle Guard! This and the Bernz-O-Matic show us the one big weakness of the drive-in––bad weather––and the proprietors' pathetic attempts to deal with it.
  
• After warning potential speaker thieves that a $50 reward is being offered for information leading to their arrest and conviction, we see a guy with a halo, crossed fingers behind his back, and a guilty expression turning in a broken speaker to the snack bar. Just what is that about??
  
• Trailer for Pajama Party: No real-life teenagers were ever this perky. And why couldn't they let Buster Keaton, et. al. retire gracefully?
  

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Mondo Balordo (2nd feature on Drive-In Movie Double Feature #58 (Sinister Cinema)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

Mondo movies are the cinematic version of freak shows: they exploit people's morbid curiosity, they're designed to shock, you know some of the stuff is fake and some is probably real but you can't tell one from the other, and they're sleazy. This one is typical of the genre, though the truly shocking moments are vastly outnumbered by stuff that would only shock those with the most straight-laced of sensibilities. Did you know that lions actually kill and eat zebras, men actually ogle women's bodies on the street, fat ugly people actually wear swimsuits on the beach, rich people actually pay for expensive medical treatment for their sick dogs, Neapolitans actually play the numbers a lot, lesbians actually exist (gasp!), or that midgets actually have sex (double gasp!!)?? The only thing lamer than these supposed shocks are the moments of supposed "social commentary". Example: footage of old men in formal dress is juxtaposed with footage of penguins––ever notice the similarity? Still, if you can get past the sleaziness and cynicism, there are genuinely bizarre and interesting images in this film, though the filmmakers seem to be the last ones to know about them. An example is footage from a Las Vegas "Miss Breast America" contest, where women are judged on their two most prominent assets. You're supposed to be shocked that such a contest exists, and struck by the irony that the contest is a benefit for the preservation of Egyptian pyramids, but the really weird thing about it is that all the contestants are wearing industrial-strength bras with visible trusses and supports, making it impossible to really tell the natural shape (or even size) of the women's breasts at all. Whether or not you can stomach Mondo movies ultimately depends upon your tolerance for sleaze. I personally don't get into them a whole lot, but in small doses they do offer an interesting dose of weirdness.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Double Deal (film #7 in the Black Culture section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

In this all-black cast film, a pretty nightclub singer's boyfriend and his brother get involved in some dirty dealings with some gangsters that the nightclub owner has been dealing with. It's a pretty standard B-movie gangster plot that ends with the good guys prevailing over the bad guys. It's not too badly told, though, given the cheapness of the production. But other than the all-black world it seems to exist in, this is pretty ordinary.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

General Hospital episode excerpt (MST3K Episode #417: Crash of the Moons). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

Yet another depressing "General Hospital" excerpt. The married man takes the engaged woman home and they confess their love for each other. The man seems to want the woman to put her life on hold forever, even though he has no intention of leaving his wife. Bleah! Well worth msting.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Msting: ***. Overall Rating: ***.

A Child Went Forth (film #312 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]

This 40s film documents a progressive summer camp for young children, one that allows them to spend their time in free play, learning to solve their own problems. Mostly what we see are idylic images of small children playing freely in a farm setting. Adult supervision seems minimal, but the kids never seem to get really out of control, so you know that there must have been some limits. This film recalls a time when people seemed to be a lot less afraid of children or for children––I doubt whether much of this would fly today. The kids are genuinely cute and charming and the scenes seem quite realistic. The only thing that bothered me was some of the interactions with animals––these were for the most part little kids who didn't yet realize that animals have feelings and that if you pick up a bunny by its ears, it hurts. I think a little more adult supervision was called for there. There are also some brief, innocent scenes of nudity, generally involving water play, that may seem disturbing from today's perspective, but probably were not problematic in that time and place. This is a charming film, for the most part, though. If you like to watch little kids playing in an outdoor setting, then this is your movie.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Basic Typing, Part 1: Methods (film #189 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

This is a World War II vintage Navy training film. Nevertheless, we know which naval personnel it is aimed at when it asserts that "typewriters make it possible for women and girls to do work as important as men." Meaning no Navy man had to mess around with this sissy typing stuff. A female typing champion narrates most of the film, primly giving out more rules than a Simmel-Misservy manners film. You know a time-and-motion study specialist was involved in this when she carefully and repeatedly shows us the one and only proper way to insert paper into the typewriter. This is as stark as the typical military training film, with absolutely no music on the soundtrack, just narration and typing sounds. It's not quite as boring as it sounds, though, because it brings back all those memories of typing, such as handling greasy ribbons; struggling with those stupid typing erasers that didn't properly erase until you had worn a hole in the paper, which required you to retype the whole damn page, cursing all the while; malfunctioning machines that placed certain letters above the baseline, or filled in the openings in O's or A's; trying desperately to type out forms and align the linespacing so the letters will go on the blanks, not under or over; and the horrors of carbon paper. Lots of vintage typewriters, including what must have been the first electric typewriter, are also shown. Remember, what you type is not as important as how you type. The purpose of this is improved communication.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Assassin (film #6 in the Indie section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com)). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

This short, strange film features a Chinese assassin, Wong Yung, and documents him shooting his latest victim, a prosecuting attorney named Mr. Widderoe. The film seems Chinese and is narrated in Chinese with English subtitles, but appears to take place in America, with views of American newspaper headlines. Also, it's said at one point that Wong Yung is a judge, so maybe his assassinations are a form of moonlighting? I can't figure this film out. It is rather well-made and compelling to watch, though.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Auto-Lite on Parade.

This bombastically-narrated 30s film is all about the Electric Auto-Lite Company, which makes things like sparkplugs, batteries, headlights, gages, and bumpers for automobiles, as well as leather goods, pots and pans, and, well, let's just say they make everything under the sun. Most of the film is an ultimate factory tour of every department in every plant. If you like factory footage, then this is your film. The narrator goes on and on about the "men" of Auto-Lite despite the fact that most of the workers seen are women. The real highlight of the film, though, comes at the end, when we get to see a stop-motion animation parade of Auto-Lite products, similar to the one in Aluminum on the March. I'm a real sucker for this sort of thing, and this one doesn't disappoint. It's ends with a marching Auto-Lite guy made of sparkplug boxes, which is, of course, essential. This is definitely an industrial film for collectors, not so much because it's unusual as that it's so characteristic of the genre.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

The Days of Our Years (MST3K Episode #623: The Amazing Transparent Man. Also on disc 4 of The Mystery Science Theater Collection, Vol. 3 DVD (Rhino, 2003). Also, film #1 on Our Secret Century, Vol. 4: Menace and Jeopardy CD-ROM (Voyager). Also, film #408 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

One of the most maudlin safety films ever made. A pastor in a railroad town tells us the tragic stories of three of his parishioners, all of whom were victims of the safety film's ubiquitous bugaboo: carelessness. A truck driver speeds on the way to meet his fiancee, gets in an accident, and ends up with a permanent spinal cord injury; an engineer approaching retirement has a heart attack while working and accidentally runs over and kills his best friend and across-the-street neighbor; and a new father is blinded by a welding torch when he startles a welder while handing out cigars. Of course, the railroad (the Union Pacific, who made this film) is in no way responsible for these accidents, the pastor reminds us over and over. And, of course, the victims and their families are doomed to a life of bitterness forever after. Most safety films, in an attempt to produce feelings of pity for accident victims (and scare their audiences), actually promote appalling attitudes towards them. This film is one of the worst of the bunch in that respect. Although the fiancee of the injured truck driver marries him anyway (because she's "that kind of girl"), she wears ordinary street clothes to the very sparsely-attended wedding––I guess that people with spinal cord injuries aren't entitled to fancy weddings. The new father who was blinded sits on the porch bitterly smoking and occasionally playing with the baby (whom he, of course, "has never seen"). The guy who had the heart attack gets the worst of the lot––it's obvious that his neighbors now despise him, and deservedly so. How careless of him to have had a heart attack! In all cases, the victims' lives are shown to be essentially over. Rehabilitation and adaptation to disabilities is not even hinted at. I wonder if some of the prejudice and discrimination towards the disabled is due to films like this. The msting is great fun, though: "I had an accident, too!" "Obey the toaster!" "Don't forget to worship at the railroad of your choice." One of the best shorts of the Mike era.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Msting: *****. Overall Rating: *****.

Brooklyn Goes to San Francisco (film #150 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Hollywood]

A bald-headed bozo from Brooklyn narrates this travelogue about San Francisco. It's not exactly, uh, an intellectual experience, but it does contain lots of historically interesting footage of 50s San Francisco, as well as a lot of bad jokes.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Are You Popular?.

This 40's "social guidance" film seems particularly aimed at girls, reinforcing the double standard prevalent at that time. "Nice girl" Carolyn is portrayed as deserving of popularity, while "bad girl" Ginny, who parks in cars with boys at night (gasp!), is portrayed as a well-deserved social pariah. In general, teens are told that everything in their lives will run smoothly if they only follow a few simple rules of manners and morality. Parents are portrayed as eminently well-mannered and reasonable, so there's the implication that if a teen's own parents aren't like that, it's the teen's fault for failing to reach the standard of perfection displayed (and shown to be easy). It must have been depressing to be a teen at that time (as if being a teen is ever easy).

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

The Bandit King (film #4 on The Origins of Cinema, Vol. 5: Rare Films (Video Yesteryear, 1997)). [Category: Early Film & TV]

A very short, very early, very confusing Western. Lots of ridin' and shootin', though. A 1907 William Selig film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: **.

The Heidi Game (track #29 on Stay Tuned: Television's Unforgettable Moments DVD (Garner Creative Concepts, 2002)). [Category: News]

This segment of Stay Tuned documents one of the biggest flubs in the history of sports television, when the telecast of a 1968 football game between the New York Jets and the Oakland Raiders was stopped prematurely so that a tv-movie version of Heidi would start on time. This turned out to be a really exciting game in which the Oakland Raiders made two touchdowns during the last minute of the game, after Heidi had started. Unfortunately, they don't actually show the moment of Heidi breaking in on the game. They do show the last minute of the game that didn't get broadcast, as well as David Brinkley's comments about the whole affair, and they interview the actual NBC employee that made the decision to pull the game. He not only didn't get fired, but got promoted to the position of David Brinkley's director soon afterwards. Such is life in the corporate world of broadcasting. Of course, I'm not a sports fan, so I don't really care. But this is one of the more interesting chapters in the history of sports broadcasting.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Drive-In Movie Double Feature #20 (Sinister Cinema). [Category: Commercial]

Although the film quality is not great (common with snack-bar promo collections––these things were probably not very well-preserved), this is probably the best of this series that I've seen so far because it contains many of the really memorable promos, such as the 2001-style Sprite promo and the Buttercup Popcorn jingle. Sinister Cinema gets 5 extra points, though, for keeping repetition to a minimum in this series.

Highlights:

• Practically all the food pictured looks really terrible, even taking into account the washed-out colors and the usual unappetizingness of these things.
  
• While the announcer enthusiastically cries, "Mmm! What a hamburger!!", the kid pictured eating it looks like he's on Thorazine.
  
• Nutrition Alert! According to this tape, the following items are "nutritious": Buttercup Popcorn, Hollywood Candy Bars.
  
• This drive-in will remain open all year round, thanks to "Bernz-O-Matic" in-car heaters. Is that really the best name they could think of for that product?
  
• Msties, take note: contains the trailer for First Spaceship on Venus.
  

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Annie Oakley (film #12 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]

Annie gets her gun and shoots off several targets, then a guy throws things in the air (it's hard to tell what they are) and she hits every one. Impressive. An 1894 Edison film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Bounty Paper Towels 2 (film #236 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Commercial]

In the same series as Bounty Paper Towels, this commercial features a housewife and a little girl who are both vexed by a dog that tracks in mud. Since they're not nearly as brain-dead as the couple in the other commercial, this isn't nearly as much fun. But it does still have the jaw-dropping schlurrrrppppp special effect.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

The Changing City (film #287 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]

Fairly dry 60s film about urban problems. Three parts stand out: 1. A scene of fingers doing the walking through the yellow pages of a city and finding places where one can get "bearings rebabbitted" and "singing commercials"; 2. A great sequence of garish billboards advertising housing developments, with an organ soundtrack; and 3. A weird montage of traffic signs and a frustrated driver, designed to portray the problems of city driving, but standing out like a sore thumb in this otherwise dull film. These highlights spice things up a bit, but it's still mostly slow going here.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

The Bald Zone - Level 1 (film #8 in the Action section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

In this very primitive Brickfilm, we see a sequence from some sort of Lego video game involving a Lego guy fighting a pirate. The camerawork is incredibly confusing, and seems to stand in for animation at some points. The soundtrack consists entirely of some peppy generic rock music and a few splashing sounds. Huh.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: *.

Mad Doctor (film #11 on Cartoon Scandals (Goodtimes, 1987)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

This is probably the scariest Mickey Mouse cartoon ever made. A mad scientist kidnaps Pluto and plans on combining his parts with a chicken's and making a bizarre dog-hen! Mickey comes to the rescue, but is no match for all the ghosts in the mad scientist's spooky house. Fortunately, it all turns out to be Mickey's nightmare. Animal rights activists should love this. These early Mickey Mouse cartoons remind you how much better they were than their many imitations.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Diane the Jungle Girl and Her Gorilla of Love (extra on Mighty Gorga/One Million AC/DC DVD (Something Weird, 2002)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

With a title like that, I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't this. A woman in an evening gown sings a song about voodoo––this is interspersed with stock footage of a chimp eating. Just when you're about to ask for your money back, the real film starts. A woman (a different one) dressed in a bikini top and a sarong dances with a guy in an extremely poor gorilla suit. Well, she dances anyway, the guy in the gorilla suit looks like he has less rhythm than a Norwegian Lutheran. He does manage to tear her sarong off, though, exposing her black panties. She ends up on the floor somehow and just when it looks like it's going to get really disgusting, it switches to backstage after the show, where there's some actual plot development involving a creepy former lover of the woman, a gun, and the guy in the gorilla suit, who breaks through a styrofoam wall just to be with the lady he loves. The ending will make you want to throw a brick through your tv set. This is so bad it actually transcends its title, existing in some sort of alternate universe of filmdom. Which, I guess, makes it an outsider film of the first order.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: *****.

Hats in Ring: Knowland, Knight Declare Candidacy (film #1828 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: News]

Sparring between two Republican candidates for California governor is shown in this newsreel clip. This was back in the 50s, before movie stars and former Swedish bodybuilders were allowed to run, only old balding white guys. Thus, of course, it has no relevance today.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: **.

General Hospital episode excerpt (MST3K Episode #415: The Beatniks). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

Another depressing "General Hospital" excerpt. An unhappily married couple holds an engagement party for another couple, barely hiding the fact that the engaged woman and the married man are in love with each other. It all adds up to the most depressing party you've ever seen. The msting gags about the Booze Council are priceless.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Msting: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

At This Moment.

This 50s film about railroads features a plot only an industrial filmmaker could love. A stranger walks into Scottie's, a diner frequented by railroad men, and flirts with Kelly, the waitress. The railroad men are all abuzz about a tv documentary that's going to be made about railroads. They begin to loudly converse their opinions about what sort of things they should put into the show and are about as convincing, and as tedious, as the French noblemen in the Monty Python "Dennis Moore" sketch, whose entire conversation consists of facts about French history straight out of the Encyclopedia Brittanica. The worst is Scottie himself––he's a full-fledged railroad geek, a walking database of railroad facts and figures that he spouts off at the drop of a hat. Even the other railroad men are sick of him. As if this wasn't bad enough, the stranger plays devil's advocate, periodically making comments to Kelly that are really designed to bait the railroad guys, and it works, too. One guess who turns out to be the producer of the tv documentary. Of course, Kelly falls for the guy and this causes her to do a little dance at the end of the day while she's cleaning up. Just as it threatens to turn into Design for Dreaming, Kelly suddenly remembers she's a working-class girl, thus she won't be allowed to enter The Future, and comes back down to earth. She does get some flowers and a nice note from the producer, which in Jam Handy's universe is all she has the right to expect, and she knows it. At least she doesn't get called "Greasy," for which she should be grateful. Mostly, though, this is just a bunch of guys going on and on and on about how great railroads are, spouting fact after boring fact. This is interspersed with the expected footage of railroads at work. Train buffs will probably like this film, and outright railroad geeks like Scottie will probably give it 5 stars. All others will want the railroad guys to shut up after about the first 10 minutes. I'm a bit surprised by this film––usually Jam Handy makes his points a lot more smoothly and cleverly. Perhaps Westinghouse, who sponsored the film, gave him a huge list of facts that he was ordered to cram into the film. The railroad logos that go by during the opening credits are cool, though. I want all of 'em on little metal tags, like that great metal tag collection at Pioneer Village.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Back to Freedom: More War Prisoners Return to America (film #1798 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

This short newsreel clip documents the return of Korean War POWs to the U.S. after the armistice. Many emotional reunions with families and friends are shown. A slice of Korean War history.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

An Animated Luncheon (film #11 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]

A polite couple sit down to lunch at a nice restaurant. The first course is live dove and the second course is live rabbit. The food flies or hops away before it can be eaten. I guess that's one way to diet. A 1900 Edison film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.

Bounty Paper Towels (film #235 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Commercial]

This pre-Rosie Bounty commercial features an extremely stupid married couple and an incredible special effect that makes it look like spills will actually jump off the table into the paper towel if you just wave it over it. After being thoroughly amazed by this, and way too amused by the sound the paper towel makes when you snap it back and forth, the couple puts away a bunch of rolls of Bounty, blissfully unaware that their storage shelf is also a windowsill. This commercial is a great deal of fun and a necessary edition to anyone's tv commercial collection.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: *****.

A Chance to Play (film #285 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]

In this bombastically-narrated film, public recreational facilities are touted as the solution to practically all the world's problems. Juvenile delinquency, neglect of senior citizens, poor work productivity, kids getting hit by cars, dads going out to bars instead of doing things with their families––all would be solved if only we had more public playgrounds, sports facilities, and swimming pools, especially ones with floodlights so people can play at night (can you tell General Electric sponsored this film?). Even the high number of 4-Fs during World War II is blamed on lack of recreational facilities––I guess starvation, malnutrition, and lack of medical care brought about by the Depression and the Dust Bowl had nothing to do with it. So come on, cities! Build more recreational facilities now!! I mean it!!! Are things better yet?

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

The Devil's Daughter (Sinister Cinema, 1999. Also, film #6 in the Black Culture section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

In this all-black cast film, a Jamaican woman fakes a voodoo ceremony in order to bilk her sister out of the banana plantation she's just inherited. The plot is bland and the main characters look and act like they come from Harlem, and it all suddenly resolves itself in a hokey ending where everybody suddenly decides to make up and get along. What really shines in the movie, though, are the extras. They got some real live Jamaicans to perform some really authentic-looking native songs and dances. This combination of real ethnic culture and fake Hollywoodized culture makes for a strange viewing experience. The scenes with the Jamaicans give it historical interest, though.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

The Correct Thing (film #4 on Lifestyles USA, Vol. 2 (Something Weird, 2000)). [Category: Industrial]

Goofus and Gallant for secretaries. Sally is professional, efficient, punctual, polite, and dull as dishwater, while Cora is habitually late, spends work time gabbing or fixing her face, flirts with the office playboy, parties till 4:00 am, and is generally sexy and exciting. The stern female narrator tries to shame her, like Barbara in Habit Patterns, but Cora is having too much fun to care. Eventually, the narrator invades her dream life, and Cora dreams she's just like Sally and her reward is the boss telling the other board members what a dutiful little sla––I mean, employee––she is. Think this gets through to Cora, or indeed, the audience this was meant for? Naaaaa!!!

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Attack of the Clone (film #6 in the Action section of Brickfilms. Also, film #11 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms. Also, film #3 in the Sci-Fi Section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

This is the Lego version of a memorable fight scene from Star Wars: Episode Two. The sound effects, music, and special effects are especially good in this one, and there's some breathtaking animation, especially the scenes of the spaceship. And they add some funny parody moments, particularly a great opening title crawl (and what's a Star Wars parody without a title crawl?). Star Wars fans should like this.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Griffith Park Relief Workers Demonstration (film #1826 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: News]

Silent newsreel clip from the early 30s documenting a labor demonstration against the city of Los Angeles for negligence in the Griffith Park fire, which killed over a hundred workers. This is prime historical footage from the 30s labor movement, if only it had a soundtrack. Some of the protesters' signs are great, though.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

The Atom and Biological Science (film #167 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

This boring Encyclopedia Brittanica film covers the various forms of atomic biological research being done in the 50s. Lots of animal experimentation is shown, which some people might find offensive. One mildly interesting aspect of the film is that it shows a lot more female laboratory personnel than you would expect of a film from its time period. Whether or not they were paid as much as the men is not mentioned. Mostly, though, this is dull as dishwater.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: **.

The Brementown Musicians (film #9 on The Cartoons That Time Forgot: The Ub Iwerks Collection, Vol. 1 DVD (Image Entertainment, 1999)). [Category: Hollywood]

Four farm animals––a rooster, a dog, a cat, and a donkey––after getting fired from their jobs as alarm clock, henhouse guard, mouse exterminator, and beast of burden respectively, find out there's big money to be made in barbershop quartet singing. Unfortunately, when they try their hand at it, listeners rain them with rubbish instead of coins. They get their old jobs back, though, after saving the farmer from a bunch of burglars. There's nothing really special about this cartoon, but it is a charming story, well told.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.

Appreciating Our Parents.

This is one of my favorite of the MST3K shorts. Little Tommy suddenly comes to the realization that his parents work, and so decides to be a cooperative member of the family team, unlike the slacker we all know he used to be. A film version of your mom telling you that things would be a lot better around here if you kids would just help out for once. And it probably went over about as well to its intended audience. It's fun to watch them try, though, and the film's innocent earnestness makes great fodder for msting.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Msting: *****. Overall Rating: *****.

The Ballet Master's Dream ["Le Reve du Martre de Ballet"] (film #7 on Ballerinas in Hell (Unknown Video)). [Category: Early Film & TV]

A ballet master has a weird dream about a ballerina in an ice cavern. Don't let Freud get ahold of this one. A 1903 Georges Melies film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.

Creepy Classics (Hallmark, 1988). [Category: Commercial]

Vincent Price hosts this rather brief collection of trailers and clips from horror movies. Fortunately, he doesn't embarrass himself, but gives a typically campy performance. There are more clips than trailers here, making it not as interesting as it might be to ephemera collectors. It gets 5 extra points for identifying the clips with superimposed titles (which many other similar collections fail to do).

Highlights:

• The Blob stars "Steve McQueen and a cast of exciting young people!"
  
• Gimmick Alert! The intro to Horrors of the Black Museum tells us it's filmed in "HypnoVista"! The producers of The Screaming Skull will pay funeral expenses for anybody in the audience who dies of fright!
  
• Msties, take note: contains clips or trailers from I Was a Teenage Werewolf, Gorgo, The Screaming Skull, and War of the Colossal Beast.
  

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: *. Overall Rating: **.

America Marching On (film #106 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

Lowell Thomas narrates this 30s film about how American technology and the capitalist system make things better for everybody and we should all just ignore that silly old depression. He does this by telling the story of a 19th-century mill that advances from a one-stone operation to a huge company that makes lots of profits and shares them with the workers. I'm not sure many jobless people during the Depression bought this.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Amy Muller (film #10 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]

Amy Muller is an acrobatic dancer dressed in a layered flouncy skirt and ruffled bloomers. She dances for our pleasure for several seconds. An early film in the tradition of Serpentine Dancers. An 1896 Edison film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Little Black Sambo (track #10 on Cartoon Scandals (Goodtimes, 1987)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

A little black boy and his dog battle a tiger a la Little Black Sambo, and racial stereotypes abound. Once you get past the stereotypes, though, it's pretty ordinary.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.

Black Sabbath Trailer (film #18 in the Trailers section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com)). [Category: Commercial]

This trailer is for an early 60s horror anthology flick starring Boris Karloff. Karloff is always fun to see, but other than that, this is pretty ordinary.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.

Dem Bones (extra on Monsters Crash the Pajama Party Spook Show Spectacular DVD (Something Weird, 2001)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

In this all-black cast soundie, a smooth quartet sings "Dem Bones" while a comic relief janitor battles a dancing skeleton in the hallway. A cute, though stereotype-ridden, extra on the Spook Show Spectacular DVD.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Caroline Mission (film #274 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]

This is assorted silent color film footage of a mission and its various good works. It's not clear whether or not this originally had a soundtrack, or even if it was cobbled together from several different films. I think this might have been film that was shown by mission workers giving presentations at churches and soliciting donations. There's footage of children playing, adolescent boys playing a night game of basketball, a juvenile court, and what looks like alcoholics and homeless people on the street. It looks like it was made in the 40s and there are some cool moments of signage from the period. This is an oddity, but it should provide some raw material for video makers.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

At the Studio (film #12 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

In this very short, very self-referential brickfilm, two Lego guys discuss the latest short, self-referential brickfilm they are going to make. Don't miss the Monty Python reference at the end (as if you could).

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.

General Hospital episode excerpt (MST3K Episode #413: Manhunt in Space). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

"Here comes Nurseferatu!" says Crow, and it's apt, as this excerpt from an early 60s episode of the soap opera "General Hospital" is very dark and depressing. Nurses and doctors discuss their personal lives in hushed whispers in a bleak hospital setting. A woman is diagnosed with a hiatus hernia and the treatment is several weeks of hospital care (just try to get that past the insurance companies today!). The msting is great fun. The next two of these seem to be excerpts from the same episode (though with a soap opera, it's hard to tell).

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Msting: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Avenge December 7 (film #180 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

This movie theater promo for War Bonds appeals strictly to the revenge motive in its audience. Apparently those who died at Pearl Harbor are waiting for the rest of America to get the nastiest revenge possible on those dirty Japs. This was made a year after Pearl Harbor, when the wounds were still festering, though, so what do you expect? It is an interesting slice of history, though, telling you much about the attitudes of the time in its short length.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Golden Gate Bridge Opening (film #1825 on Prelinger Archive. Also, film #6 in the Landmarks Around the World section of WPA Film Library (excerpts)). [Category: News]

Silent raw newsreel footage of the opening of the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. Mostly, this involves a very slow motorcade of 30s cars––so slow a bicyclist can lead the way! After the cars finally get over, the bridge is opened to pedestrian traffic and this footage is pretty interesting. A nice chunk of history here.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

At the End of the Rainbow (film #163 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

Made by the Sun-Kraft ultraviolet lamp company, this film tells us all about the healthful benefits of ultraviolet radiation, including sunburn, skin cancer, and the prevention of rickets. Actually, no, skin cancer wasn't mentioned––if that danger had been known about back in the 50s when this was made, perhaps they wouldn't have shown a baby being irradiated by her mother holding a portable UV device. Sunburn, though, is portrayed as a sign of health and that inconvenient peeling can be prevented by an application of Sun Kraft skin cream. The film's most amazing premise is the idea that poor people should all be supplied with UV lamps, because everybody knows that the primary effect of poverty is that you don't get enough sun. This film is quite appalling, but considering its subject matter, it should have been lots more appalling than it is, which makes it kind of disappointing. Still, it has a fair amount of camp value and it's quite mstable. And it contains lots of shots of people of all walks of life wearing dorky protective sunglasses, if you're looking for that.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Chicken of Tomorrow (MST3K Episode #702: The Brute Man. Also, film #7 on disc #4 of The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection, Vol. 2 DVD (Rhino, 2003). Also, film #311 on Prelinger Archive ). [Category: Industrial]

Doesn't quite live up to its title (which is one of the greats), unfortunately. It's not so much about the chicken of tomorrow as it is about the poultry farmer of today ("today" being the 1950's) and how motor trucks powered with Texaco gasoline increase his profits. The msting is pretty good, especially when they're msting the chickens.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Msting: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Bravest of the Brave (recorded off of Turner Classic Movies). [Category: Hollywood]

This is a curious one. It's a historical short about the life and mysterious death of Marshall Ney, one of Napoleon's key strategists. The thing is, it seems to be composed of film footage from a feature-length movie, shortened and supplied with narration instead of a soundtrack. The production values seem too expensive for a short, and the scenes have the feel of being much longer than what is actually shown. So what's the deal here? Was this film ever released? If so, why did MGM find it necessary to produce a shortened version with narration? Other than the mystery surrounding it, it's rather dull.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Ant City (film #387 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

This science film about ant life is narrated by a guy who, though obviously knowledgeable about ants, sounds like he's winging it. He also makes a lot of lame-o comparisons between ant life and human life, perhaps the worst being his announcement of the queen's "wedding trip" with her preferred male, while "Here Comes the Bride" plays on the soundtrack. And, oh, that reminds me, the soundtrack is bizarre and bombastic, too. All of this adds up to a mildly bizarre viewing experience.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.

American Falls from Above, American Side (film #9 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]

This is most likely the first home movie of folks marveling at Niagara Falls. Look at all that water! An 1896 Edison film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

The Black Connection (film #24 in the Trailers section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com)). [Category: Commercial]

Trailer for a 70s blaxploitation gangster film, sort of a cross between Shaft and The Godfather. As you would expect, there's lots of sex, violence, and huge afros.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: **.

Cancer (film #270 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]

This Encyclopedia Brittanica film is for adults, covering the warning signs of cancer, how cancer is treated, and dispelling some old wives' tales about it, such as that it only effects old people or that it is hereditary. The main character is a middle-aged man who develops stomach cancer, but is successfully treated by his kindly old family doctor. The doctor has a scary-looking instrument called a gastroscope with which he says he can see into the man's stomach, but thankfully they don't show him actually using it. Actually, this film was probably more optimistic about cancer treatment than was realistic back in the 50s when it was made, though not necessarily today. Much of the information in it is still relevant today, which you can't say about most 50s health movies. Be sure to watch out for your moles and report any strange lumps or changes in normal bowel habits to your doctor!

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Balked at the Altar (film #1 on The Origins of Cinema, Vol. 4: The Arrival of D. W. Griffith (Video Yesteryear, 1995)). [Category: Early Film & TV]

An old man's comic attempts to marry off his homely daughter are shown. Finally, he gets one poor sap to the altar with the help of a shotgun, but the reluctant groom escapes through the paper stained-glass window, necessitating the inevitable chase scene. Comic relief is provided by a "negro" with a pillow in his shirt. A rather silly film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: ***.

Deafula (Video Screams). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

This highly unusual film was made by and for deaf people. All the dialogue is in sign language and the soundtrack consists of stark readings of translations of the signed dialogue (for the benefit of hearing people in the audience––sort of like closed-captioning in reverse), occasional moments of stark, eerie music, and maybe 2 or 3 sound effects total. The plot is an expressionistic horror tale of a preacher's son whose mother was bitten by Count Dracula during her pregnancy with him, cursing him with a dual personality––one a pious preacher's son studying for the ministry himself, and one a blood-sucking vampire who commits a string of murders. What's really weird about the movie, though, is that it takes place in a silent world where everybody communicates in sign, where everybody uses TDDs for telephones, where such things as motorcycles and women's screams make no sound, and where a man with no hands is mute. The film was obviously very cheaply made and shot in black-and-white, which was rare in 1975, the year it was made. It's obvious that the people involved really put a lot of care into the project, yet it's also obvious that they were amateurs at filmmaking. All of these elements make for one strange film indeed. It is genuinely creepy and surreal, but it's hard to tell if that's because of the story, the amateurishness of the production, or just simply how strange such a film looks to a hearing audience. I will say that despite its length and the cross-cultural barriers involved, the film did hold my interest throughout and was even pretty scary at certain points. It really is a curiosity, though––were other deaf films made? Was there a whole industry involved to serve this population? Or was this the only film to experiment with this concept? I would really like to know the story behind this one.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: *****.

The Apartment (film #11 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

Two Lego guys move into a cardboard apartment complex and encounter some strange tennants. Actually, one guy encounters the tennants and palms them off on the other guy, who spends most of his time playing vintage sports video games. This is a rather amateurish brickfilm, but it's also pretty weird, so that redeems it somewhat. It leaves you with a big "huh?", but it's cute (like most brickfilms).

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.

Four Days in November (track #15 on Stay Tuned: Television's Unforgettable Moments DVD (Garner Creative Concepts, 2002)). [Category: News]

This segment of Stay Tuned documents the Kennedy assassination. Of course, they only show excerpts of the extensive coverage, but the excerpts they show are some of the most memorable, including Walter Cronkite almost losing it after announcing Kennedy's death, Jackie and the Kennedys' two young children approaching the coffin, and the shooting of Lee Harvey Oswald, probably the first instance of television news coincidentally broadcasting a major unexpected news event as it happened. An essential segment of Stay Tuned.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Commercial Mania: Special Edition (Rhino, 1987). [Catgory: Commercial]

Another fun collection of commercials from the 50s, 60s and 70s. A pretty good assortment––there are a lot of fun moments. Rhino gets docked 10 points, though, for the whole "Special Edition" concept––a "Special Edition" is actually a shorter, edited-down version of the original tape.

Highlights:

• Cure childhood depression with castor oil ("Fletcher's Castoria", but we ain't fooled)! Watch the little girl give a really dirty look to the bottle.
  
• An extremely 60's commercial for Ban Deodorant, featuring The Repulsives (describes their music as well as their B.O.!).
  
• This tape gets 5 extra points from me personally for the inclusion of the "Live Better Electrically" spot. It's this kind of populuxe nonsense that I love to find in film ephemera––for some reason I find it incredibly endearing.
  
• Since this tape is from Rhino, it of course has the "Belly Bongo" commercial. They tried so hard to create a new Hula-Hoop-type fad and failed so miserably––and somebody at Rhino is fascinated by that, for it pops up all over their products. It does bring back memories of after-school reruns of "Gilligan's Island", though.
  
• Yipes! Stripes! It's the puppet-animated Beech-Nut Fruit Stripe Gum animals! By gum, they're cute!
  

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

A Lady with Fans (film #4 on Exploitation Mini-Classics, Vol. 1 (Sinister Cinema)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

Another fan dancing short. This one is a bit more erotic as it looks more like the dancer might really be naked under the fans. Other than that, it's pretty standard.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: **.

As We Like It (film #160 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

This film is about beer. About how beer has helped to build America and Western civilization in general. About how beer is brewed to exacting standards of sanitation and quality. About how beer has great ability to give the drinker a bu––uh, sorry, food value. About how heavy taxes are levied on beer, enriching the coffers of pork-barrel poli––uh, sorry, building highways and schools to benefit us all. And about how your friendly neighborhood tavern is a clean, well-run establishment where patrons can get blott––sorry, enjoy sparkling malt beverages. And how your friendly tavern operator supports charitable activities and always obeys the law. And how your friendly neighborhood bouncer––uh sorry, there isn't anything in the film about bouncers. And about how all the friendly tavern operators need to watch their steps because there are elements in society who would like to blame sparkling malt beverages for all of society's problems and bring about another Prohibition, which would deprive us of the right to get drun––sorry, engage in gracious living. So let's all raise a toast to the brewing industry, without which we wouldn't be able to enjoy all the benefits of sparkling malt beverages, such as alcoholism, drunk driving, belching, and frequent urina––uh, sorry for this whole review, folks. I meant to say, "Hey Hosers! This film is about beer! Beauty, eh?"

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

The Funny Company: Sailing Ships (film #30 on Chicago Television (Hollywood's Attic, 1996)). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

This is something of an oddity among limited animation cartoons: a lame, limited animation opening leads into a short, live-action documentary for kids on some topic assumed to be of interest to them. The topic of this episode is sailing ships. Both the cartoon part and the documentary part are very lame and tedious, though, so I doubt this was very appealing to kids, despite the earnest "you're a member of our club" attitude of the thing.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Columbia Revolt (film #350 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

This arresting film is a true "outsider film". It was made by students at Columbia University, documenting the violent 1968 demonstrations there from the student radicals' point of view. The film is all grainy black-and-white cinema verite style, with soundtracks consisting mostly of various students spontaneously telling their stories about what they experienced during the protests and what it was all about. Mainly, it was about three things: 1. opposition to the college's close relationship with the Defense Department, resulting in extensive research into war and killing technologies, especially those that were being used in the Vietnam war; 2. opposition to the building of a new gymnasium, which was being planned to occupy a site in the mostly black Morningside Heights neighborhood, taking over a public park and displacing many black families from their homes; and 3. giving students a greater voice in the decisions of the college administration. We see students forcibly taking over and occupying the library; battling with "jocks" (right wing students who opposed them); developing a communal society during the occupation which culminates in a hippie wedding; holding endless meetings and voting and revoting on the demands they are making; being viciously beaten by police officers as they are forced out of the building (these scenes are graphic and quite upsetting); performing bizarre political guerilla theater events on campus; picketing and striking; holding their own "liberation classes"; and protesting commencement by walking out and holding an alternative ceremony of their own. Unfortunately, the film ends unresolved––you don't really find out how successful or unsuccessful they were in bringing about change (this, of course, reveals my ignorance of those events). Still, the film is a visually arresting document of 60s radicalism, political struggle, and the issues that divided the American people, sometimes violently, during that time. And it's a great example of grass-roots filmmaking as well. One of the most historically interesting films in the Prelinger Archive collection.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****+. Overall Rating: *****.

The Autobiography of a Jeep (film #4 in the WWII section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com). Also, film #178 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

This film about every GIs favorite piece of equipment is a lot of fun. For one thing, it's narrated by the Jeep itself. For another, it contains lots of wonderful footage of 40s car designs, jeeps being manufactured, jeeps being exposed to all kinds of abuse and coming through fine, and various celebrities riding around in jeeps. A wonderful piece of World War II nostalgia.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Broken Appointment (film #254 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]

In this rather touching film, a young public health nurse learns to care about her paitients' concerns and feelings after going through a struggle with a young expectant mother who keeps breaking her clinic appointments. The film makes the valid point that science can only do so much and to really help people, you have to be willing to listen to them and learn about their lives and the greater context of their illnesses. It's a message with even more relevance today, considering how high-tech and soulless much of medicine has become. The film also portrays in a realistic fashion the psychological growth process persons in the human service field go through, including the mistakes they make along the way. A film in the true spirit of "public service".

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Century 21 Calling (film #2 on Assignment Venezula and Other Shorts (Best Brains, 2001). Also, MST3K Episode #906: Space Children. Also, film #280 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

An extremely white teenage couple frolics at the 1962 Seattle World's Fair, stopping by the Bell System display to find out about the phones of the future. This is a lot sillier than most Bell System films, mainly due to the frolicking teenage couple, who you could easily imagine doing a 5th Avenue commercial. Mildly campy fun with o.k. msting.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Msting: ***. Overall Rating: ***.

Ads & Clips (extra on Drive-In Discs, Vol. 3 DVD (Elite Entertainment, 2003)). [Category: Commerical]

This set of ads & clips gets 5 extra points for having a lot more of them than on the previous Drive-In Discs DVDs, but it gets docked 5 points for having some repeats. Still, this is a pretty good collection of drive-in ephemera, most of it in excellent condition and all menu-driven. They even throw in a spook show promo!

Highlights:

• Yum! Yum! Hear how creepily this can be said in a snack bar
  promo advertising hot dogs.
  
• Huston's Hallucinations is Sexsational and features the Girl Without a Middle and the Weird and Unusual Burning of a She-Devil!
  
• Creature from the Haunted Sea features "a guy, a gal, and a boatload of loot!" "Killers hunt Cubans! Monster likes them both!"
  
• Gimmick Alert: Blood Creature features a bell that rings during the scary parts to warn the fearful to close their eyes!
  

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Animation Class: Lesson 2 Frames per Second (film #10 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms. Also, film #8 in the Drama section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

Crikey! The Lego version of Crocodile Hunter narrates this film on how to do stop-motion animation, for no discernable reason 'cept it's fun. This lesson focuses on the pros and cons of various framerates. Like Lesson 1, this is highly amusing and educational as well. Watch for silly things going on in the background. I hope they make more in this series and that they are all as good as these first two.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

The First Great Debate: Kennedy vs. Nixon (track #14 on Stay Tuned: Television's Unforgettable Moments DVD (Garner Creative Concepts, 2002)). [Category: News]

This segment of Stay Tuned documents the televised Kennedy-Nixon debates of 1960, an important moment both in the history of American politics and in the history of television. I wish they had included a little more actual footage of the debates and a little less commentary. Still, the commentary, by Walter Cronkite and debate producer Dan Hewitt, gives an intelligent explanation of the importance of the debates. Fortunately, there's the Prelinger Archives to provide more actual footage.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

The Brave Tin Soldier (film #25 on The Cartoons That Time Forgot: The Ub Iwerks Collection, Vol. 1 (Image Entertainment, 1999)). [Category: Hollywood]

This takes quite a few liberties with the original fairy tale, but who cares? Toys coming to life make great cartoon fodder and the toys in this cartoon are really delightful. A discarded one-legged tin soldier vies with a creepy old king doll for the affections of a pretty ballerina doll. She definitely prefers the soldier, so the king sets up a rigged trial (presided over by a Groucho Marx jack-in-the-box, the cartoon's weirdest moment), and then orders his execution by firing squad. The ending is romantic, fun, and surprising––the ballerina throws herself on her lover and they are both shot into the fireplace, where they are consumed by the fire together (sniff! sniff!). But their souls end up in Toy Heaven (isn't that a great concept?), where the soldier is reunited with his missing leg. Don't miss this one.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Animals in Modern Life (film #381 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]

Dry ERPI film about the various uses of animals by human beings. There is a great variety here of animals and animal products shown, but they are presented in a seemingly random order, without rhyme or reason. Kids probably did a lot of fidgeting during this sort of film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.

Atomic Energy Can Be a Blessing (film #3 on The Educational Archives, Vol. 6: Religion (Fantoma, 2003)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

This film, made by the same folks as Atomic Energy as a Force for Good, is much more didactic than the other film. Fred MacMurray apppears, but only to introduce Father James Kelly, a Catholic priest who seems to be bucking for canonization as Patron Saint of Atomic Energy. Father Kelly earnestly lectures us on how atomic energy is God-given and therefore good, despite all the nasty rumours you may have heard about bombs and stuff. A bunch of government film footage of atomic experiements is shown, while the beneficial uses of atomic energy are rattled off, mostly involving cancer cures and agricultural uses. For some reason, Father Kelly reminds us of atomic energy's teensy downside by showing us the a-bomb test scene from Atomic Energy as a Force for Good. Then he lectures us some more in a confusing fashion about how "one person can make a difference"––I bet this guy was a real snooze-inducer in the pulpit. He tells us about his "organization," the Christophers, which has no membership, meetings, or dues, but it does have a newsletter that we all can subscribe to for free. Despite the clips from Atomic Energy as a Force for Good, I'm surprised that this overly-earnest, clunky film was made by the same people. Perhaps Father Kelly was desperate to get in front of the cameras, and the film was made chiefly to satisfy that. It does have a lot of camp value, though, as well as historical value in the declassified government footage that is included.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Around the Corner (film #152 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

Jam Handy really did his job well here––he made a thoroughly understandable and even somewhat entertaining film about rear-axle differentials in cars. Unless you're really into auto mechanics, this should be as dull as dishwater, but it isn't. It's even somewhat understandable to non-mechanically-inclined persons such as myself. The amazing trick motorcycle riding scenes at the beginning and the bizarre couple that barrel rolls the rear wheels of a car help give it entertainment value. This film does what an industrial film ideally should do––take a potentially dull and dense industrial topic and make it interesting and understandable.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

An Awful Moment (film #6 on The Origins of Cinema, Vol. 4: The Arrival of D. W. Griffith (Video Yesteryear, 1995)). [Category: Early Film & TV]

This one is kind of confusing. A woman who is upset at the outcome of a trial harasses the wife and young daughter of one of the participants of the trial (I'm assuming he's a participant––it's not really clear in the film). She ties the wife up and sets up an elaborate booby trap involving a gun and a door, but is easily caught at the end. D. W. Griffith's story-telling ability certainly wasn't showing in this one. A 1908 D. W. Griffith film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.

Coffee House Rendezvous (film #343 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

It's the 60s, man, and coffee houses are all the rage. Cool. Except it's the late 60s and the coffee houses have been fully accepted by the Establishment as wholesome alternatives for youth to blowing their minds and blowing up the student union. So organizations like churches and school districts and the YMCA and even parents encourage kids to form coffee houses in any spare basements or vacant storefronts that they can find. This, of course, spells the end of the coffee house as a bastion of cooldom. Still, this is a fun, innocent film, full of enthusiastic geeky teenagers drinking percolated coffee from styrofoam cups and grooving to various homegrown forms of folk, rock & roll, or jazz music which varies in quality from not bad to someone-needs-to-teach-them-how-to-tune-their-guitars. It's full of the bright, hopeful we-can-change-the-world attitude that typified the 60s and would be rudely crushed by the 70s. Of course, I'm a closet folkie myself, so I can't help but enjoy this film very much. It reminds me of all the cool stuff I saw the teens doing when I was a kid during the 60s that I was too young to participate in, and which would all be over by the time I reached my teens in the 70s. Watch another film if you want to know about places like Haight-Ashbury, but this is what the 60s was really like down home in places like Racine, Wisconsin. Sponsored by the Coffee Information Service, which had to wait until the rise of Starbucks to really get going.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: *****.

Classic Toy Commercials (Moon River, 1993). [Category: Commercial]

Baby boomers should enjoy this collection of toy commercials from the 50's and 60's. The fun comes not so much from the commercials themselves (which are pretty conventional for the most part), but from the stabs of nostalgia you get from seeing all those old toys again. These were made in the days when there were few restrictions on toy advertising, so you know the actual toys were not nearly as fun as they looked, but it's still fun to fantasize anyway.

Highlights:

• The Trik-Trak Racing Set commercial encourages kids to race their cars "all over the house"! My dad would have yelled something other than "terrific!", though.
  
• Ren & Stimpy "Log" fans should make sure to check out the Slinky jingle.
  
• The Deluxe Man in Space Set is sold only at Food Markets!
  
• "Is he a dream (sigh!) or a dud (groan)?" No further comment necessary.
  
• Who's that kid with the mustache in the Beany Copter commercial?
  
• They got Louis Armstrong himself to sing the Suzy Cute Doll jingle. But why??
  

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

After Launching (film #8 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]

A boat full of people steams out of the harbor in this very short film. Wow, look at the boat. An 1898 Edison film.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.

King Size Canary (film #1 on Cartoons for Big Kids (Turner Home Entertainment, 1989)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]

This is the ultimate cat-and-mouse (and dog and canary) chase toon. A hungry cat finds a bottle of "Jumbo Grow" plant food, and since this is a cartoon, the stuff makes any character who drinks it grow to huge proportions. The bottle gets passed around from cat to mouse to dog to canary and back, and things get ridiculous real quick. The whole premise is followed to its ultimate conclusion, resulting in one of the greatest endings to any cartoon ever. This cartoon is a must.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: *****.

Film Bloopers (extra on And Then There Were None DVD (Madacy Entertainment, 2001)). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

This is a somewhat better-than-average blooper reel containing moments of unexpected public embarassment and scenes from montage-style comedy shorts as well as the usual flubbed lines. Most of the stuff is from 30s and 40s Hollywood and much of it is from the filming of well-known classic movies. Most of it I've never seen before. Still, the blooper reel is a somewhat limited concept, though it's OK for a DVD extra.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.

Bridging San Francisco Bay (film #249 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]

This film documents in detail the building of the San Francisco-Oakland Bay bridge. If you love bridges and are fascinated with how they are built, you will probably enjoy this film. If you don't, then you'll probably find it rather dull. There are some mildly interesting scenes of construction workers climbing all over the place without any safety provisions, and U.S. Steel, who sponsored the film, puts in a plug for its products whenever they are used on the bridge. But mostly, this is pretty ordinary.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: **.

Atoms for Peace (film #174 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Military & Propaganda]

The peaceful uses of atomic energy are shown in this 50s film, with a focus on using radioactive isotopes as triggers. This is dull, dull, dull, folks, though it does leave you with the disturbing feeling after awhile that they're trying to make everything radioactive. No downside of atomic energy is portrayed, as usual.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: **.

Centron Commercial (extra on Carnival of Souls DVD (Criterion Collection, 2000)). [Category: Industrial]

Ooh, cool, a fish-eye lens! A cameraman at the Centron Corporation (famous for such stirring educational films as Cheating and What About Juvenile Delinquency?) got a new fish-eye lens and went crazy filming Centron's brand-new office/studio building. Add a groovy soundtrack and you've got a commercial for Centron, a modern, with-it film production company. This was made in the early 70s, and it looks it. The fish-eye lens is cool, though.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

Ads & Clips (extra on Drive-In Discs, Vol. 2 (Elite Entertainment, 2001)). [Category: Commercial]

This collection of drive-in ephemera has a lot of the same ones as Volume One, so it gets docked a few points for that. Still, it does contain some classics, such as the "Hey kids! How would you like to hear this?" plea for silence, the Pic Ad, and an announcement forbidding "public displays of affection." And as far as I'm concerned, every collection of ephemera should have "Let's Go Out to the Lobby" on it. As usual, all promos are in excellent condition and menu-driven.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Animation Class: Lesson 1 (film #9 in the Comedy section of Brickfilms. Also, film #7 in the Drama section of Brickfilms). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]

This is the first in a series of films designed to teach beginners how to make Brickfilms, that is, stop-motion animated films made with Lego bricks. The film shows a rather unruly classroom of Lego guys being taught by a very patient teacher. It also features a bit of fake ephemera in the form of a film the teacher shows that tells us what kind of equipment you need to make a film, and featuring a claymation host! This film is very well-made, funny, and informative. I look forward to seeing the other films in the series.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

Aristocrats of Fashion (film #149 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]

My, fashions are certainly gay this summer! Many a drag queen could take tips in "femininity" from this incredibly stupid and shallow 40s fashion film, featuring BEMBERG rayon. A bunch of very shallow and silly upperclass women frolic at a club in incredibly ugly, gaudy rayon clothes. I don't know which is stupider––the narration, the silly "plot" involving "feminine scheming", or the loud "fashions", featuring such elements as stripes only a football referee could love, bows and collars of a size usually seen on cartoon characters, or snoods, a brief 40s headwear fad that's as ugly as its name implies and which thankfully didn't catch on. The dialogue is a scream, featuring whole passages a drag queen would be proud of. Example: "He found out from the caddy." "Oh no! You mean Vivian?" "No, silly, the golf caddy!" Somebody ought to put these gals out of their misery. This film is, of course, incredibly ripe for msting. Have fun with it on "Ladies Night".

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.

The Fall of the Berlin Wall (track #21 on Stay Tuned: Television's Unforgettable Moments DVD (Garner Creative Concepts, 2002)). [Category: News]

This is one of the best segments of the Stay Tuned DVD. In addition to documenting the dismantling of the Berlin Wall, it contains footage of the wall's construction, footage of several presidents commenting on the wall, and breaking CNN news footage of the announcement by East Germany that travel between east and west will no longer be restricted. The footage of crowds of citizens participating in the tearing down of the wall show how much of a symbol of oppresion it had become. A great piece of history.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.

The Boogie Woogieman (extra on Monsters Crash the Pajama Party Spook Show Spectacular DVD (Something Weird, 2001)). [Category: Hollywood]

A trio of teenage girls, wearing dresses no teenager would be caught dead in today, sing about the Boogiewoogieboogie Man, Andrews-Sisters style. For all I know, this could be an early appearance of the Andrews, but I doubt it. A cute 30s soundie.

Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.