Birth of the B-29 (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #223 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
This is the Master Hands of World War II, with narration Norman Corwin would have been proud of. It tells the story of how the huge B-29 Superfortress bombers were made in huge factories staffed by workers from all walks of life. The visuals and the stirring narration work together to create a masterful piece of propaganda in that bombastic, yet lyrical style that is peculiar to the form. As is usual for war propaganda, the film starts with some frankly racist commentary about the Japanese designed to inspire hatred for the enemy. Then we get to see the B-29s being built in huge factories––this is really great factory tour footage. When the workers suddenly stop working and look to the skies to hear the "music" of the bombers going through the air, audience members' hearts probably swelled with patriotic pride. The part at the end where the narrator talks about this new, big bomber requiring a "new kind of air force" stimulates disturbing images of a future Cold War. This film is essential for collectors of World War II propaganda and is a great piece of history.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Air Traffic Control (film #8 in the 100 Years in the Air section of WPA Film Library). [Category: Industrial]
This British newsreel story about air traffic control through radar is actually quite fun to watch and informative. It makes controlling those big jets seem like jolly good fun. Though I wonder how those controllers they show in those big rotating radar detectors keep from getting dizzy.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Aguinaldo’s Navy (film #11 on The Spanish-American War in Motion Pictures). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Said navy seems to consist of a few canoes and sailboats. Granted, they’re big canoes and sailboats, but still you can see here why Aguinaldo, whoever he was, probably lost. A 1902 Biograph film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: **.
Andy Williams Show (film #20 in the Lost Fall Previews of the 60s section of TVParty). [Category: Commercial]
Promo for a mid-60s variety show starring Andy Williams. We get to see lots of musical guests such as Jose Feliciano, Donovan, and Aretha Franklin. Boy, this really brings back those 60s variety show memories.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Gorilla and the Maiden (extra on Night of the Bloody Apes/Feast of Flesh DVD (Something Weird, 2002)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
This starts with an exotic dancer whose dressed in clothes that one would expect her to strip, but she doesn’t. After quite a bit of hoochie-coochie, the film proper starts. Another exotic dancer in a skimpy belly dance costume is tormented by a guy in a very bad gorilla costume. Just what is it about these stripper-plus-gorilla films that brings on the snickers? Anyway, the big dumb ape manages to get the woman down to pasties and panties, even though she stabs him with a dagger she must keep handy for just such occasions. Then the other dancer comes back in a different costume and strips down to her teddy, said stripping involving only the removal of her skirt and gloves. As it sounds from the description, this film is quite silly.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Blood Donor – The Spinners (film #1 in the Public Info. Films section of TVArk). [Category: Public Service]
British PSA featuring a folk group called The Spinners, who all urge us to give blood in very charming British accents. They all do it themselves, quipping all the while. Fun to watch.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
A for Andromeda #1 (film #1 in the Cult section of TVArk). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
Opening credit sequence for an early-60s British science fiction show that made Julie Christie a star. The credits have a nice Twilight-Zone-ish feel, with a Greek bust of a woman (probably Andromeda) superimposed over shots of deep space. Considering this was one of only a few clips of this show that was preserved, it has historical interest.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Apollo, Segment 3002 (in the Documentary section of Open Video Project). [Category: News]
One of the Apollo 13 astronauts tells us about an experiment they plan to do on the moon that involves using a large drill to––surprise!––drill holes in the lunar surface. This is probably a clip from the same film as Segment 3001––it even has the same film sprocket sound on the soundtrack.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Behind Your Radio Dial: The Story of NBC.
This late-40s film gives the viewer a filmed tour of NBC studios at Radio City in New York, back when NBC was mainly a radio network. I love old-time radio, so I found this very interesting. We get to see radio stars such as Fred Allen or Fibber McGee and Molly performing, musical performances by Fred Waring and the Pennsylvanians and the NBC orchestra, and the news being announced by H.P. Kaltenborn. Kaltenborn’s section on radio news is particularly fun, since he narrates it very bombastically. He also tells us that all news broadcasts were permanently recorded for posterity on wax transcription discs––wouldn’t you like to get ahold of that library! The film has a wistful quality, as its final section deals with the fledgling NBC television network, without even a hint of anticipation of the juggernaut of tv running over and killing network radio. A fascinating historic document of an entertainment medium that doesn’t exist anymore, that’s fun to watch as well.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
From Dawn to Sunset (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #2 on Our Secret Century, Vol. 2: Capitalist Realism CD-ROM (Voyager). Also, film #567 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
An idealistic portrayal of the "typical work day" of the typical worker at the Chevrolet plants in cities around the nation. First the all male workers kiss their wives goodbye and leave for work, while a chorus sings about "the beginning of a perfect day". Then they work for a little while (but not long). This "typical work day" happens to be payday, so there's a very long sequence of workers in each city where there's a Chevrolet plant getting paid and then going to the local stores and buying stuff. That's right––for each city you see a "Welcome to..." sign, hear the city's anthem sung over a few shots of the city's main attractions, then you see long lines of workers at the Chevrolet plant getting paid (they all seem to be handed generic paychecks), then you see them shopping in the local stores and buying lots of stuff, with a heavy emphasis on local specialties (workers in Baltimore buy crabs, workers in Janesville, Wisconsin buy cheese, etc.). The final sequence shows the workers going home, saying "hi" to their wives and kids, and going to bed, while a chorus sings about their "perfect" lives and how happy they are. This film was made right after a big sitdown strike at Chevrolet which finally ushered in unions. That alone should tell you how realistic the film is. Of course, the filmmakers seem to conceive of "perfection" mainly in terms of shopping: the workers get paid! So they can, like, buy stuff! What more could they want? A capitalist dream, or nightmare, depending upon your point of view.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ***.
Casper, the Friendly Ghost (film #14 on Cartoon Crazys: Sci-Fi (WinStar Home Entertainment, 1999)). [Category: Hollywood]
This was the original cartoon that inspired the Casper series, one of the treakliest things in the entire animation canon. Casper is a friendly little ghost who runs away from home when his family doesn't understand him. He tries to make friends but everybody is afraid of him. Finally, a couple of sticky-sweet children are too innocent to be scared and they befriend him. Unfortunately, their mother doesn't approve, that is, until Casper scares the evil mortgage collector away. It all ends happily with Casper being adopted by the mother of his new friends. I have a headache––I need to go listen to some Tom Waits for awhile.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Attitudes and Health.
Marv is all bummed out because he didn't make the first team in basketball. He comes home to find out his older sister has taken sick after being passed over for a promotion at work. The doctor emerges from her bedroom and gives Marv and his mother a stern lecture about bad attitudes and how they make people sick, a problem that he believes affects over half of his patients! He makes some reasonable points about how excessive worry can cause health problems, but he's so self-righteous and overgeneralizing about it that you start to wonder if he overlooks serious maladies in his patients by being so quick to diagnose "bad attitudes". Marv, though, takes his talk to heart and starts having a "better perspective" on not making the team, planning to practice to improve his skills so he can make it next time (when you see his laughably bad ball-handling skills, you know exactly why he didn't make it this time). This is one of the most annoyingly simplistic Coronet films ever, with little of the usual innocent charm that normally allows the movies to get by with their unbelievable premises. The one exception is Marv's mother––the actress who plays her gives a laughably bad performance, yet she is so convincing on the level of person as somebody's mother that you end up being charmed by her. Perhaps they hired her over from Centron. Marv would later develop a major attitude problem that would result in multiple personality disorder in the classic film How to Keep a Job.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Barque Sortant du Port (film #8 on The Movies Begin, Volume Two: The European Pioneers (Kino Video, 1994)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Some guys in a rowboat row around a stone pier where some women are standing. Another brief Lumiere slice-of-life film. An 1895 Lumiere film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Drive-In Movie Double Feature #71 (Sinister Cinema). [Category: Commercial]
This collection of drive-in ephemera is probably the most food-oriented of the series. There are lots of really short snack bar promos advertising a single item, and a wide array of treats, including more obscure ones such as snow cones and hot tamales. And it's the most nutritious, too (see the Nutrition Alert below)!
Highlights:
- Nutrition Alert! This drive-in has more "nutritious" and/or "healthful" items than ever: ice cream is "healthful", popcorn is "nutritious and "healthful", and two promos claim the entire snack bar line is "nutritious"!
- Prissy Fearless Fred says "I forgot my Toddy!"
- Get your "satisfaction" fix with more hot coffee.
- A genuinely amusing parody of movie trailer hyperbole used to advertise snacks: "Torrid Hot Dogs!! Action-Packed Popcorn!! Sizzling French Fries!!"
Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Annual Parade, New York Fire Department (film #3 in America at Work, America at Leisure: Motion Pictures from 1894-1915. Also, in the Historical section of Open Video Project). [Category: Early Film & TV]
First we get to see the backs of the bigwigs as they ascend the steps of the reviewing stand. Then we see row after row of firemen marching in various formations. Then we see lots of different horse-drawn fire wagons, including elaborate hook-and-ladders and huge steam pumpers. These are the highlight of the film for my money. There are also a few trucks in the mix, but they are vastly outnumbered by the horse-drawn wagons. It ends with the marching band, which we can’t hear because this is a silent film. If you want to get a good look at turn-of-the-century fire wagons, then this is your movie. A 1904 Edison film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Sheba Wore No Nylons (film #4 on Exploitation Mini-Classics, Vol. 2 (Sinister Cinema)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
A brief male sexual fantasy set to music, featuring fake belly dancing, strange facial expressions, and a big fat bearded guy who looks like a Cossack in a Russian fantasy movie. Did this turn anybody on?Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Bufferin II(film #13 in the Commercials section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com)). [Category: Commercial]
Another fun Bufferin commercial, this one featuring a guy getting beat over the head with a drumstick, as well as the usual cutaway diagrams of the stomach. Maybe not quite as much fun as the first Bufferin commercial, but it will still bring a smile to your face.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Gags and Gals (film #579 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
This exercise in female objectification is actually a lot of fun. There are three soundies here. The first, “Male Order,” features women a guy can purchase on approval, who arrive in shipping cartons and dance in his living room. The second, “At Your Service,” is all about how women, specifically carhops at drive-ins, live to serve men, even to the point of wearing skimpy uniforms and dancing on car hoods so that the male customers can look up their dresses. The third soundie, “Playmates,” features grown women dressed up and acting like little girls, while singing the familiar playground song. The titillating quality of this gets pretty creepy after awhile, even though it’s obvious that these are grown women, especially when they bend way over to peek into rain barrels, so we can get a good look at their undies. Again, these soundies are appalling, but still lively and a great deal of fun. “At Your Service” has a great retro drive-in feel. It’s this sort of combination of good and bad qualities that makes for really great ephemera.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: *****.
Amelia Earhart (film #4 in the 100 Years of Flight section of WPA Film Library). [Category: News]
Newsreel footage of Amelia Earhart, part silent, part with sound. In the sound portion, her gender is emphasized repeatedly; she accepts this with style and good humor. An interesting clip from the history of flight.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Bay of Pigs Fiasco (film #6 in the Cuban History section of WPA Film Library). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
American newsreel clip announcing the Bay of Pigs Invasion. This was before the government officially admitted any responsibility for it, so it is reported as an invasion of “Cuban rebels,” and Adlai Stevenson categorically denies everything. That gives it quite a bit of historical interest.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Behind the Lens: A Camera Goes to College.
This film starts out pretty interesting, as it shows us and tells us about special scientific kinds of motion picture photography, such as time-lapse photography and slow-motion photography. But since it is a Jam Handy Chevrolet film, it has to get around to cars eventually, and when it does, showing us how special photography is used by Chevrolet engineers to understand how cars withstand bumps in the road, it gets rather boring. Fortunately, though, it’s a short film, and that means the boring part is short, too.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Hollywood Dinosaur Chronicles (Rhino, 1990). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
This documentary about dinosaurs in the movies is a lot like Dinosaurs! in many ways, though shorter, pared-down, and not nearly as much fun. There's not nearly as much here to interest ephemera buffs, and most of what there is can be found on Dinosaurs! (though mystery fans will want to check out a brief clip of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle talking about The Lost World––it's the only time I've seen him on film).Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness:**. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
The City of Little Men (recorded off of Turner Classic Movies). [Category: Public Service]
Sentimental 30s film about Boys Town and the good work it does rehabilitating homeless boys. The beginning is a real tear-jerker, as a scruffy little boy and his dog show up on Father Flannigan’s doorstep and beg admission to Boys Town. The rest of the film gives a detailed portrait of the boy’s home in the 30s, and thus has quite a bit of historical interest. Father Flannigan himself appears in the film, which increases its historical interest. Of course, the portrait is idealized, as this was obviously designed to solicit contributions. Still, the story of Boys Town is pretty interesting and this film tells it pretty well.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Big Brass Ring (film #9 on Short 2: Dream (QuickBand Networks, 2000)). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
This is a scene from an Orson Welles script about a political candidate’s working relationship with a legendary expert adviser in the Democratic party who is also openly gay. In the scene, the elderly political adviser is interviewed by a tabloid reporter. This was basically made in order to sell a feature film project and it shows. I don’t think the scene really stands alone as a short. The story is so involved that without the proper context, it’s impossible to figure out what the characters are talking about. What you’re left with are rather typical Hollywood characters trying very hard to look cool and sophisticated. The political adviser seems to speak in witty, quotable turns of phrase, while the young, attractive, female reporter behaves flirtatiously, even though there is no reason for her character to do so. Again, with the enough context to be able to follow the story, these problems might not be all that noticeable. But in a short, they are.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Annual Baby Parade, 1904, Asbury Park, NJ (in the Historical section of Open Video Project). [Category: Early Film & TV]
The beginning of this all-kids parade looks a little bit like other parade footage from this period, only in miniature, with tiny cops and soldiers in uniform. Then there’s a long stretch of very overdressed baby carriages. Actually, this is pretty fun to look at. It’s a wonderful little slice of life from another time. A 1904 Edison film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Bufferin (film #12 in the Commercial section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com)). [Category: Commercial]
This classic 50s commercial features not only those essential cutaway diagrams of stomachs, but a very painful image of a guy’s head being used as the clapper of a bell. Yeah, that would give one a headache, I would think. Lots of fun.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Fighten Femmes of France (film #510 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
Two women in their underwear have a very poorly-acted catfight in this vintage stag film. Eventually, they both end up falling between the bed and the wall, ridiculously enough. This doesn’t seem like it appealed even to its intended audience, though perhaps their standards were low.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
City of Hope (film #324 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]
This very bombastically-narrated 30s film tells us all about the City of Hope, a huge tuberculosis sanatorium. It brings back the days when TB was a dread disease that baffled doctors and whose treatment usually involved long months of convalescence at a sanatorium in a remote area with “fresh air.” Such sanatoriums bit the dust when antibiotics were invented that cured TB. It’s a fascinating little piece of history, though, making this film pretty interesting. The bombastic narration makes it unintentionally funny in spots, especially the scene where the first sanatorium, which was literally a couple of tents, blows over in a windstorm. Mostly, though, this is about the many families and organizations who gave sizable donations to the City of Hope and had buildings named after them. Of course, it’s designed to get audience members to give till it hurts, as the narrator keeps reiterating that there is a long waiting list of patients trying to get into the sanatorium, and they need more money to build more buildings so that waiting list can be eliminated. A fun little piece of medical history.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
The Birth of Juvenile Delinquency (film #4 on Teenage Confidential (Rhino, 1987)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
Like As the Twig Is Bent, this film does a lot of hand-wringing about the effects of the war on our nation's youth. And like the other film, though it gives lip service to social factors such as working mothers and families moving away to find defense jobs, it basically places the blame for delinquency on the shoulders of parents. It does seem a little less self-serving than the other film, though. Watch for Johnny from Boy in Court show up in a brief cameo appearance. Also, watch for a scene that shows you what teenage stoners looked like back in the 40s.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Beside Me (film #12 in the Indie section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com)). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
This longer Indie film tracks the relationships of two college-age couples. Caleb, a real love-‘em-and-leave-‘em women-are-sex-objects type, has lots of sex with Willow, a party gal who stupidly doesn’t bother with birth control. He thinks it’s all just about sex until Willow gets pregnant, then he surprises himself by wanting to be a responsible father. His roommate, Trenton, a religious wait-until-marriage type, meanwhile, gets involved with Jacquelle, a woman who was sexually abused as a child and has major issues with men. I’m not sure what I think about this film, frankly. It’s actually a lot better than it sounds, but there are parts of it that are excruciatingly bad. While other parts seem like they should be bad, but aren’t. I guess there’s a real sincerity here that shines through all the stupid stuff that at least partially won me over. I do get the feeling that this particular director was really trying for something challenging. He doesn’t fully get there, but you appreciate his willingness to try anyway. I’m hoping this was made by a young filmmaker who will get better as he matures––he does seem to have some potential.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Apollo, Segment 3001 (in the Documentary section of Open Video Project). [Category: News]
This is a clip from an “Aeronautics and Space Report,� announcing the Apollo 13 mission. This has historical interest as it is interesting to see the pre-launch perspectives on the ill-fated mission. The person who digitized this clip should be shot, though. The opening credits suddenly stop (with the sound that you get when you suddenly stop a record player’s motor and it slows to a stop) and then start up again from the beginning, reminding one of the repeated credit sequences in Monty Python’s “The Bishop.� And somehow the clackety-clack sound of the film projector was recorded on the soundtrack! This really brings back the old days of 16mm films and incompetent projectionists.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Behind the Freedom Curtain.
Made by a manufacturer of voting machines, this film tries to convince us that voting machines are so much better and fairer than old-fashioned pencil-and-paper voting, mostly by constantly repeating that machines can’t make the mistakes people do. Ah, if it were only that simple, we wouldn’t have had that mess in the 2000 election. Actually, this is pretty well made and makes its points well, though it does tend to go on and on and on. It gives an interesting perspective on the problems of running elections, problems that still exist today. Its pontificating about “democracy” gets so overblown it’s campy in spots. But mostly this is pretty straightforward.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Freedom Highway (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #2 on Our Secret Century, Vol. 6: The Uncharted Landscape CD-ROM (Voyager)). Also, film #561 on Prelinger Archive. [Category: Industrial]
This very 50s film features a group of nice 50s people who travel across the country from San Francisco to Washington, D.C. on a Greyhound bus. Instead of becoming totally exhausted and stressed-out by this cross-country bus trip (you weren't expecting reality, were you?), they all become quite chummy and some even find a sort of patriotic salvation in "seeing the country". Featured are Tommy Kirk as a Boy Scout who utters "gee whiz!" at everything, Angie Dickenson and football star Bob Roberts who fall in love during the trip and decide to get married right away (I'd like to see her explain that to her parents!), and Tex Ritter who drops by to sing a song about the Alamo. Spoilsport Morris Ankrum plays an embittered man whose only son was killed in the Korean War but a clean-cut ghost with a crew cut straightens him out by taking him to Gettysburg. Lots of tidbits of American history are pointed out, but it's all the sort of "history-lite" you learned in grade school and later found out was apocryphal in college. It's all supposed to make you as impressed as Tommy Kirk, who, believe me, is impressed with everything. And if you're not, well you're just a rotten old spoilsport and maybe even a commie to boot. It's this kind of sugar-coated propaganda that the Firesign Theater so aptly sends up.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Animal Act (in the Historical section of Open Video Project). [Category: Early Film & TV]
This is, as promised, an animal act, featuring a violin-playing baboon, a rope-jumping dog, and a mule that refuses to be mounted. This is really a great deal of fun, especially considering that you don’t run across such acts today. The baboon, in particular, is quite talented and fun to watch. A fun slice of early-20th-century entertainment. A 1919 Hans A. Spanute film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Bruce Lee We Miss You (film #27 in the Trailers section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com)). [Category: Commercial]
More chop-socky action as Bruce beats up a bunch of Buddhist monks (I thought those guys were supposed to be pacifists) and lots of other people. Periodically, an old bearded monk looks on and smiles. I guess I’m not enlightened enough to get this.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Bergen, Norway, etc. (film #96 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
Silent home movie footage from the 30s of a family touring Europe, particularly the Scandinavian countries and Russia. Despite the title cards, this has the true home movie feel, with shaking, ever-changing camera angles and seemingly random choice of subject matter. It does give you an idea of what it was like to tour pre-war Europe, especially Russia, which was hard to get into at that time. It drags after a bit, though.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
The Case of the Screaming Bishop (film #12 on Sherlock Holmes: The Early Years (Hollywood's Attic, 1996)). [Category: Hollywood]
This very silly cartoon features Hairlock Combs, his assistant Garson, a leering, laughing, pretty disturbing maniac, and lots of silly British accents. It walks a fine line between being weird and being lame, and it never quite goes one way or the other. It's not really very funny in the ways that it's trying to be funny, but it's weird, and even campy, in ways that are unintentional. This makes it an interesting oddity.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
The Expose of the Nudist Racket (extra on The Beast That Killed Women/The Monster of Camp Sunshine DVD (Something Weird, 2001)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
Cheeky (in more ways than one) 30s short about nudism, in which the narrator rather sassily promotes its benefits while we see the usual footage of nudists frolicking in a nudist camp. This would be innocent fun, except that the narrator keeps ruining things by missing no opportunity to ridicule a fat woman, all while claiming that nudists accept all body types. That, and some of the rather “busty” camera angles, make this more of an exploitation piece than a serious discussion of the acceptability of nudism.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Apa Tani Bleeding Tubes (in the Educational section of Open Video Project). [Category: Public Service]
Silent footage of Asian native peoples performing some sort of bizarre ritual involving sucking blood out of tubes. Lots of natives are shown with tubes sticking out all over their bodies, including their faces. Since I don’t know the context of this, it’s pretty disturbing, though I’m sure the natives themselves thought of it as mundane. I don’t know if this practice is still being done today, but if it isn’t, this is a valuable historical record of it.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Apollo, Segment 1003 (in the Documentary section of Open Video Project). [Category: News]
Another clip from a pre-Apollo 11 documentary, probably the same one as in 1002. What the astronauts intend to do on the moon is described, over footage of the astronauts training on a simulated lunar landscape. Also, footage taken by unmanned lunar spacecraft is shown. Another mildly interesting bit of historical footage.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Behind the Bright Lights (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #199 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
This 30s film tells us how the huge lighted Chevrolet sign in New York City worked, including the part where letters crawl by spelling various advertising messages. It’s actually pretty interesting and well explained. Of course, I love old signs anyway so this is just up my alley.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
As Others See Us.
This 50s manners film for high-schoolers gives us lots of garishly-colored scenes of 50s high school life, such as jostling through the halls, eating lunch (check out the selections and prices on the menu board!), and, yes, the prom. If you went to high school during the 50s, this should trigger flashbacks and nightmares; for all others, it's a real hoot.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Alphonse (in the Historical Section of Open Video Project). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Two silly guys go into a bar and start making like the Goofy Gophers. “After you!” “No, after you!” “No, I wouldn’t think of it!” Etc., etc. Then Yosemite Sam comes in and makes them dance with his gun. Tarnation! I want the one silly guy’s checkered pants for the Film Ephemera Museum of Quirky Devices, as well as my wardrobe. A 1903 Biograph film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Bruce Lee the Invincible (film #26 in the Trailers section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com)). [Category: Commercial]
Bruce Lee beats the crap out of some bullies who torment his girl. The guy should sell a body-building course with ads in comic books. Seriously, the fighting is pretty clever in this trailer.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Agricultural Cycles in Apa Tani Villages (in the Educational section of Open Video Project). [Category: Public Service]
Silent footage from the 1940s of Asians tending crops in muddy fields which perhaps are rice paddies. This pretty much has historical interest only, but it does give a snapshot into a culture that is far from our own.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Abusive A-Bomb (film #114 in Open Source Movies). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
This movie stinks. OK, it’s not that bad. After all, it’s just a few minutes of what Legoland would be like after nuclear holocaust, and that can’t be pretty.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: **.
Baron Munchausen's Dream (film #1 on Melies III: The Search for Munchausen (A-1 Video)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Baron Munchausen eats and drinks way too much and pays for it by having a weird, disturbing Meliesian dream. It took the director of Merry Frolics of Satan to do the "dream of a rarebit fiend" theme right. The film takes a bit of time to build up a head of steam, but once it does, look out, Baron! Dancing girls lead to demons lead to a trio of dandies poking him with pitchforks leads to a really scary dragon leads to a really disturbing and evil scene of a sick and twisted Man in the Moon and his tongue! By this time, you're ready to swear off of rich food forever! A classic Melies romp through the subconscious, though I'd hate to see what Freud would say about it.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: *****.
Apollo, Segment 1002 (in the Documentary section of Open Video Project). [Category: News]
Clip from a documentary about Apollo 11, made before the mission. The three astronauts are profiled, and we get to hear interview clips and watch them training. It’s kind of interesting to see a pre-mission point of view here, before anybody knew if the mission would be successful.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
The Excitable Red-Head (film #13 on Blood of Floor Sweepings (LSVideo)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
The silliest chiropractic appointment I’ve ever seen. The “nurse” wears a uniform usually associated with French maids in the Frederick’s of Hollywood catalog, the patient has a bunch of bizarre reflexes that cause the doctor injury, and it ends with the nurse and the patient giving each other rather unorthodox “adjustments”. More ridiculous than naughty, which is probably deadly for these sorts of films.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Drive-In Movie Double Feature #63 (Sinister Cinema).
This one is a tad bit disappointing. It mostly contains the duller promos. And it gets docked 5 points for ending with an incredibly dull black-and-white 3 minute counter, complete with easy-listening soundtrack.
Highlights:
- A Coca-Cola promo ends with a really cute parade of animated snacks marching in a circle.
- Nutrition Alert! What's "nutritious"? According to the "Refreshment Quiz", the answer is "candy bars"!
- Watch the kids from the Ubiquitous Family fight over a hot dog with really disgusting toppings!
Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
Scrub Me Mama with a Boogie Beat (film #3 on Cartoon Scandals (Goodtimes, 1987)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
If you're looking for African-American racial stereotypes, look no further––this toon has 'em all. It also has a great jazz soundtrack and lots of energy. A sexy Lena-Horne-type jazz singer brings rhythm to Lazy Town, showing a mammy how to really get those clothes clean. Both quite appalling and quite fun.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Groucho and the Marx Brothers (Goodtimes, 1988).
This collection of Marx Brothers ephemera is mildly interesting, more so if you're a Marx Brothers fan. It consists mostly of trailers from their movies, most of which are quite amusing. There's also a short clip from a newsreel featurette about a mini car race between Groucho, Harpo, and Jackie Coogan, a clip from a filmed wartime radio broadcast to the Marines featuring Groucho, and the complete, uncut 1949 tv pilot of Groucho's game show "You Bet Your Life" (reviewed seperately under "Early Film & TV").
Highlights:
- In the trailer for The Big Store, the Marx Brothers announce their retirement from motion pictures and state that The Big Store is their "first farewell picture". Fortunately, they are persuaded not to retire by a stock footage crowd of screaming fans.
- At the Circus features a "Colossal Congress of Stuff and Things!"
- The trailer for Monkey Business is priceless. It features all four Marx Brothers auditioning for a producer, speaking entirely in rhyme (Harpo has a rhyming business card), and each doing a bad impression of Maurice Chevalier. And that's before things become totally chaotic!
Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Beef Rings the Bell (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #195 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
This is a film about meat. About big honkin’ slabs of red meat. Beef, in particular. The first half is all about cattle raising, selling, and feeding. It has footage of the Omaha stockyards in their heydey, when they used to be the biggest in the world. Being from Omaha, this had some nostalgic value for me, as those stockyards no longer exist. The footage of a cattle auction is also mildly interesting. But it’s not until the second half of the movie that it really gets going. Then it becomes the most meat-intensive film you ever saw, featuring extensive, detailed footage of meat cutting, long refrigerated cases of shrink-wrapped packages of “rich, red meat,” billboards with giant steaks on them, and backyard barbecue footage straight out of the Big Boy Barbecue Guide (I also collect old recipe booklets), including tacky barbecue aprons and huge steaks served charred on the outside and bloody red on the inside. Which makes it a great deal of fun in my book, though it’s definitely not for vegetarians.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Battle of Russia (film #7 in the WWII section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com). Also, tape #5 of the series WWII Special Edition (Madacy Entertainment, 1997)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
This fifth and longest film of the "Why We Fight" series (it was made in two parts), documents the Russian resistance and victories against the Nazi invasion of their country. Russia was a powerful ally and had some of the earliest victories against the Nazis, so their story needed to be told. But unlike most of the other nations fighting the Nazis, the Soviet Union was definitely not a democracy, and most Americans already feared and hated Russian communism, so the filmmakers had a bit of a difficult sell. They did it by focusing on the military victories and the determination of the Russian people, and carefully sidestepping any political issues. Communism is not mentioned once, nor is the German-Russian Non-Aggression Pact (which Germany ended up breaking). And unlike the other films, little mention is made of the "free" world of "democracies" fighting off the "slave" world of Fascism. Nevertheless, this is probably the nicest, most positive American film made about Russia during its communist period that I've ever seen. How quickly that would change! The most interesting segment is the one about the siege of Leningrad, and again, the courage and determination of the people is impressive. Film buffs will want to watch for scenes from Eisenstein's Alexander Nevsky in the opening scenes documenting Russian history.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Albany, NY Fire Department (in the Historical section of Open Video Project). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Before there were such things as fire trucks, kids, there used to be fire wagons. Yup, horse-drawn wagons that would rush to the fire! Some of them even had big steam-driven water-pumps on ‘em. They used to run down the street, one after the other, while everybody in town would watch ‘em. What, you don’t believe me? I swear it’s true! Just watch this film and see! Sheesh, the kids these days! A 1901 Edison film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Bruce Lee in New Guinea (film #25 in the Trailers section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com)). [Category: Commercial]
This Chinese trailer for a Bruce Lee movie consists entirely of martial arts fighting action, with lots of “HAs!” on the soundtrack. I guess they cut out all the boring parts.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
The City (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #326 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]
This classic New Deal public service film of the 30s contrasts city slums with “planned communities” such as Green Belt, Maryland. It does this in a very arty fashion, with skillfully edited montages of urban problems backed with a glaring, yet compelling, soundtrack by Aaron Copeland. Ultimately, it doesn’t really make its point very well, because it ignores the economic, social, and political problems that result in urban slums, attributing them entirely to planning failures. But it is a fascinating, historically valuable montage of life in the 30s, covering urban life, automation, roadside woes, and even fast food. My favorite scene is a bizarre montage of automated diner equipment and people eating at a frenetic pace. This is the sort of film that is ripe for mining for footage for a video project.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Ellis in Freedomland (Hollywood's Attic).
When I saw the description of this one in the Movies Unlimited catalog, I knew I just had to have it, and when I got it I was not disappointed. This industrial film made by Westinghouse delivers a triple whammy of weirdness. The first part of the film tells the story of Ellis, a discouraged Westinghouse appliance salesman, and how he falls asleep in the department store he works for one evening and wakes up to find all the appliances talking to him––and not just talking, complaining about how he's been trying to sell them. The second part outlines the Westinghouse Freedom Fair––one of the most blatant examples of corporate coopting of women's desire for emancipation. And then it turns into another Design for Dreaming, as a harried housewife is whisked away from her messy kitchen by a Westinghouse salesman and taken to "Westinghouse Wives' Heaven", where women dress in frilly pinafores and dance ecstatically around appliances. This film has something for everybody: supernatural visitors (talking appliances, mannequins who come to life, a dancing appliance salesman who takes housewives to heaven), weird sexual innuendo (MALE-VOICED REFRIGERATOR: "Ellis, I love you!" FEMALE MANNEQUIN: "I better leave you two alone.", a swishy Daniel Boone mannequin that embarrasses two other male mannequins, a randy Indian chief mannequin who chases a female bathing beauty mannequin until she hides from him in a refrigerator), racial stereotypes (the black doorman mannequin loves watermelon, the Indian chief mannequin says, "Ug! Ug!"), weird credits ("Jerry Colonna as the Voice of Waste-Away"), bad acting, and more jaw-dropping moments than you can shake a stick at. Jerry Colonna's singing garbage disposal is probably being used right now as a torture device in some third-world dictatorship (though he is convincing as a garbage disposal who fancies himself a singer). I could go on and on about this one––let's just say that you need it in your collection!Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: *****.
Every Saturday Night (film #12 on Blood of Floor Sweepings (LSVideo)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
Every Saturday night a nude woman takes a bath in a cinderblock bathroom, and we get to watch. That’s pretty much it, folks.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
California the Golden (in the Ephemeral section of Open Video Project. Also, film #158 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Hollywood]
This straightforward 30s travelogue about California is historically interesting for the view it gives us of California in the 30s. Perhaps the most dated aspect of it is that it was made by a steamship line, and it assumes we've taken a cruise through the Panama Canal in order to get there. Not very campy, but pleasant and watchable all the same.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
As Boys Grow.
This 50s sex-ed film is very straightforward and informative about puberty and sex. It even covers––are you ready for this––how the sperm gets into the uterus! Thus, it was probably never shown in the vast majority of American classrooms. A friendly high school track coach answers any and all questions about sex and stuff that members of his team fire at him, even bringing along helpful, though not inappropriate, visual aids to some practices. He never even hints that sex is evil, does not mention any horrible diseases the guys could get from it, and tells them that masturbation is "normal at your age" and will not lead to blindness or sterility. Therefore, it is pretty safe to assume that he was fired at some point by some of the boys' parents. Such healthy and informative sex education has never been tolerated in the schools, not even today, making this film a real curiosity.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
The Barber Shop (film #7 on The Movies Begin, Volume One: The Great Train Robbery and Other Primary Works (Kino Video, 1994). Also, film #7 on The Art of Cinema Begins (Video Yesteryear, 1997)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
A man gets a nice shave and a haircut while two other patrons enjoy a joke in a men's magazine. Another early slice-of-life film. I want the sign that says, "THE LATEST WONDER: SHAVE AND A HAIRCUT FOR A NICKEL." An 1894 Edison film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Drive-In Movie Double Feature #58 (Sinister Cinema). [Category: Commercial]
Rip-Off!! This double feature's intermission is only seven minutes long, instead of the required ten minutes. It does have the Rico's Nachos promo, though, which is essential.
Highlights:
- BUCKY BEAVER WARNING!! Well, not exactly. But the bizarre animated characters in the Rico's Nachos promo did cause my husband to exclaim, "They're relatives of Bucky Beaver!", which means they require a warning of some sort.
- Now we want everybody to support their local P.T.A., and to make sure, we're going to give the announcement a psychedelic, amoebae-like background.
- Other items for the Film Ephemera Museum of Quirky Devices: the bizarre coffee machine from the coffee snack bar promo, and a really cool neon Coca-Cola clock from the Coca-Cola promo.
- Try our one-line snack bar promos.
Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: **** (gets docked a star for being only seven minutes long).
Red Hot Riding Hood (film #4 on Cartoons for Big Kids (Turner Home Entertainment, 1989)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
This cartoon has one of the all-time great beginnings: the characters from "Little Red Riding Hood" complain about having to do that hoary old tale one more time, so the animators change it to reflect modern sensibilities. This time, the wolf is of the Hollywood-and-Vine type, Grandma is a Mae-West-type proprietor of "Granny's Joint", and Red is a sexy nightclub singer. Add lots of great Tex Avery gags, and you've got one of the all-time classic cartoons. And I want for my museum the wolf's clapping and whistling machine and the sign that says, "Imagine that! No door!"Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: *****.
Godzilla and Other Movie Monsters (Passport Video, 1998).
This is a two-tape history of Godzilla, but obviously there's only so much you can say about Godzilla, so it ends up broadening its focus to include movie dinosaurs and giant monsters of all types, making it a lot like the Dinosaurs! set. Most of the clips are from feature films, though it does have the usual array of movie trailers and clips from early dinosaur films. So this is really only marginally ephemera, but it's pretty fun anyway. There are a lot of really creatively-edited montages of all kinds of footage, with lots of fun juxtapositions, such as when the narrator tells us that eventually the dinosaurs died out and we see a clip of a cartoon dinosaur floating up to heaven from "Daffy Duck and the Dinosaur." And it does have the complete Bambi vs. Godzilla near the end of tape two (not that that's particularly hard to find). Giant monster fans should enjoy this quite a bit, non-giant monster fans less so.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
The Battle of London (film #10 in the Documentary section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
This British film rather breezily documents the London Blitz and the pluck of the Londoners in coping with the hardships of the bombings. It's historically interesting and fun to watch, but not especially deep. This has more nostalgia value than value as an historical document, though it was made at the time. A mildly interesting bit of WWII ephemera.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Apollo, Segment 1001 (in the Documentary section of Open Video Project). [Category: News]
This is a short film about the Apollo XI mission, the first one to land a man on the moon. There’s mostly just footage of highlights of the mission, with radio transmissions to and from Mission Control and synthesizer music on the soundtrack. The synthesizer music gets rather annoying after awhile, but other than that, this is a nice little wrap-up of the most memorable space mission ever.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Beer and Art (film #10 in the Indie section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com)). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
A neurotic woman shares a poem she wrote with a coworker who ridicules her. She then goes psycho and tries to kill the coworker, but she can’t escape the vision of her stern writing teacher. I suppose you’re supposed to sympathize with the coworker, but I’m a bit neurotic myself and I root for the poet every time (though I will admit the poem is excruciatingly bad). This is pretty well done, but I don’t really get what the point of it is supposed to be. The fact that it was directed by a man doesn’t reassure me, either. Still, it’s better than much of the stuff in the Indie section of Movieflix.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ***.
Down & Out! (film #2 on The Educational Archives, Volume Four: On the Job (Fantoma, 2002)). [Category: Industrial]
This safety film about fall prevention has one actor in it who is required to fall over and over and over again, poor shmoe. After awhile, you begin to wonder about the workplace safety conditions of this stunt man, that is, if you're not busy laughing at all his pratfalls.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: ***.
California Picture Book (film #157 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Hollywood]
This black-and-white, silent film from the 40s shows us a series of scenic views of things to see and do in California. That's it, really. It's sort of like a film version of one of those postcard strips, only in black-and-white. It does have some historical value, though.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: **.
Beatrice Foods News Reports from Around the World (film #191 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
This early 60s film is pretty much what the title says––news reports from all over the world about Beatrice Foods’ various corporate subsidiaries. We get to see milk processing on a military base in Japan, a company that makes cookware and serving utensils for restaurants, a Belgian milk processing plant, and a bizarre underground storage facility near Kansas City. This is all narrated in a way that implies that its audience finds this all fascinating. And it is, in an odd sort of way, though you have to be in the right frame of mind to appreciate it. Me, I like stuff about foods and the kitchen, so this held my interest. There’s lots of factory footage for folks who like that sort of thing. And the last segment, about the underground storage facility, is the weirdest. The employees of the facility have their lunches in a “Caveteria,” a name that is so lame it’s brilliant. But the most interesting thing is the Atlas Wire Products Company, a company that rents underground space for its factory from the facility. This company make––are you ready for this?––wire racks! Get it?? Kansas?? Wire racks?? That’s where the guy in Speech: Using Your Voice, a Centron production, got his nifty wire rack! It has to be! This is just too handy to be a coincidence! This blows the lid off the whole Kansas-Centron-public speaking-evaporated milk-wire rack conspiracy! I––what? Oh…OK, I’ll take my meds and go to bed now.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Arranging the Tea Table (film #155 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]
In which we learn that behaving as if you have obsessive-compulsive disorder is the best way to make your tea guests feel at ease. "Exactness in details helps tremendously to ensure a sense of perfection," is a direct quote. If you only own a white linen tablecloth, but not a lace or embroidered one, then you might as well throw in the towel right now, because your tea will be an excruciating failure and you will lose all your friends. Have fun!Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Army Pack Train Bringing Supplies (film #15 on Edison Film Archive). [Category: Early Film & TV]
This was back in the days when horses and mules were the main forms of transport, even for the army. They sure made mule trains long in those days. An Edison film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: **.
The Bank Robbery (film #5 on The Origins of Cinema, Vol. 5: Rare Films (Video Yesteryear, 1997)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
Now this is a Western! It almost looks like it could be a home movie of a real Old-West bank robbery. Considering the time period in which it was made, and the fact that it stars real bank robber Al Jennings, it might as well have been. It's very primitive technically––half the time they don't seem to know where to point the camera and they don't even know enough to edit out the shots where the horses relieve themselves––but that just adds to the authenticity. A band of thugs robs a small town bank, leading to an extended manhunt and the inevitable shootout and milling-around festival. The bad guys are eventually hauled out of the Wicheta National Forest and Game Preserve (says so!) and brought back to town to face justice. Not particularly romantic, and there's lots of dirt, but that's probably what the Old West was really like. An Oklahoma Mutoscene Film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Drive-In Movie Double Feature #48 (Sinister Cinema). [Category: Commercial]
This collection of drive-in ephemera has mostly ones that I've seen before. The film quality is better than average, though.
Highlights:
- Nutrition Alert! Buttercup Popcorn is "nutritious", as always.
- The "2 minutes to go" snack bar promo features the exact same animated snacks as the earlier alien snack bar promo.
- The hamburgers in the "Last Chance" snack bar promo look way too much like the donuts, and they both look like they're made of tar.
Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: **.
A Prologue to Forbidden Desire (film #2 on Exploitation Mini-Classics, Vol. 1 (Sinister Cinema)). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
This prologue was made for the wartime rerelease of Forbidden Desire, a 30s exploitation movie about syphilis and prostitution. They try to make the movie seem timely by relating it to a bunch of wartime problems such as the housing shortage and juvenile delinquency. Narration by a gnarled old man is punctuated by scenes from the movie and other scenes which were probably filmed especially for this prologue. It's all quite campy, but the highlight is a scene featuring two "kept women" sitting around in their underwear ("Boy, it's hot! I think I'll shed this," says one immediately upon entering the room), discussing their sugar daddies in derisive terms. It's one of the all-time Greatest Moments in Bad Acting. One of the best items in the Exploitation Mini-Classics series.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
The Girls and Daddy (Unedited Version) (film #8 on The Origins of Cinema, Volume 4: The Arrival of D. W. Griffith (Video Yesteryear, 1995)). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
This is the unedited footage for The Girls and Daddy shown in the order it was shot. Even back in 1909 they were already shooting scenes out of order. It's hard to make any sense of the story when it's in this form, but if you watched the edited version right afterward it gives you a good sense of how movies are put together. An interesting historical extra.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ***.
Battle of China (tape #6 of the series WWII Special Edition (Madacy Entertainment, 1997)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
This sixth film of the "Why We Fight" series documents Chinese resistance to the Japanese invasion of their country. I expected to find this dull, but actually this seldom-told story is quite interesting and inspiring. China was ill-prepared for war, but after suffering terrible atrocities at the hands of the Japanese, they banded together, moved most of their population and industry to the west, destroyed most of what they left behind, and set about to develop the military strength they needed to drive out the Japanese. There are many amazing images in this film of the Chinese doing what seems to be the impossible with primitive tools and the sweat of their own bodies, particularly in the segments about the western migration and the building of the Burma Road. One of the most visually compelling films in this series.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Do It the Easy Way (film #5 on Blood of Floor Sweepings (LSVideo)). [Category: Industrial]
If ever a film has elicited a giant "huh?", this is it. I mean, what is it about the 50s and weird sexual innuendo? This was made by Herpolsheimer's, a Grand Rapids department store, to promote something called EASY (it has to be an acronym but they never explain what it stands for) which, near as I can tell, is a brand name for their large appliances, though it's not completely clear. The middle of the film, which explains the sales campaign for EASY, is boring, boring, boring, but the beginning and ending plays like a filmed version of Freudian free association. Add to that the fact that the film was incredibly cheaply made and that it's silent apart from a single narrator, and you're left with an experience that leaves you scratching your head so hard it hurts. Of course, that makes it great ephemera.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: *****.
The Bully (film #8 on The Cartoons That Time Forgot: The Ub Iwerks Collection, Vol. 2 DVD (Image Entertainment, 1999)).
Flip the Frog has a run-in with a neighborhood bully and eventually gets roped into fighting him in the boxing ring. This leads to the standard set of boxing cartoon gags. The ending is pretty surprising, though.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Arranging a Buffet Supper (film #154 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Educational]
This is a Simmel-Misservey manners film, so there are rules, rules, and more rules for setting up a buffet supper. No candles on the buffet table and the centerpiece must go exactly in the center. If you don't arrange the forks correctly, your party will be a complete flop and everybody will hate you. The purpose of all this is gracious living.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
The Bank (film #2 on His Prehistoric Past/The Bank (Video Yesteryear, 1987). Also, film #27 in the Silent section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com)). [Category: Early Film & TV]
The Little Tramp is a janitor in a bank, but ends up causing more messes than he cleans up. He is disappointed when pretty bank clerk Edna spurns him, but all turns out well after he bravely thwarts a group of bank robbers (...or does it?). This is Chaplin at his best, getting more comic mileage out of simply carrying a mop than most others can get from a whole roomful of props. The opening gag is priceless, but I won't give it away. Video Yesteryear's genuine movie organ soundtrack is great. A 1915 Essanay film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: ****.
Drive-In Movie Double Feature #37 (Sinister Cinema). [Category: Commercial]
This collection of drive-in ephemera has better film quality than most and features quite a few public service messages exhorting us to drive safely, go to church, vote, etc.
Highlights:
- "Satisfaction" seems to be a euphemism for caffeine in the promo advertising coffee.
- Another appearance of the "Bernz-O-Matic", this time in color! And this drive-in sells Drizzle Guards, too!
- Another jazzy Dr. Pepper snack bar promo. Cool!
- You could win a "Lady's Wrist Watch, Neckless and Earring Set (sic)"!
Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Alvin Purple (film #1 in the Trailers section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com)). [Category: Commercial]
Tasteless trailer for an early 70s sex comedy about a lust-crazed man and his exploits in and out of bedrooms. Pretty much what you’d expect from this sort of thing.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ***. Overall Rating: **.
The Emperor Jones (film #10 in the Black Culture section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com)) [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
This film is not totally an all-black cast film, but whites play only a few minor parts in it. This is a major studio production starring Paul Robeson as an arrogant, conniving Pullman Porter who ends up on a chain gang for killing a man, escapes, and winds up on a Caribbean island where he manipulates the natives into making him emperor. It was based on a stage play by Eugene O’Neill and so the production is rather stagey at times. But Robeson is fun to watch, both as an actor and as a singer. His final tour-de-force, when he runs through the jungle after the natives have turned against him and slowly goes insane, is a great piece of acting, though it does go on a bit too long. Like most “race films” of this period, there is a confusing mix of genuine African-American culture and offensive stereotypes. Still, this is a unique film that is worth watching.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Cities: How They Grow (film #320 on Prelinger Archive) [Category: Public Service].
This Encyclopedia Brittanica film gives a dry overview of the growth of cities in America, city planning, and urban problems. Since it’s EB, it’s all pretty standard and conventional. It ends optimistically, expressing the hope that proper planning can prevent urban problems in the future. Lots of scene of 50s urban life are shown, giving this some historical value, but mostly it’s dull viewing.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Banana Splits Opening (film #21 in the Clip of the Week section of Retromedia). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
Boy, this really brings back those Saturday morning memories! For those whom it doesn’t, all I can say is you had to be there. The “Danger Island” opening they throw on to this is not nearly as much fun.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
ABC Evening News – Nixon Resigns (film #5 in the Clip of the Week section of Retromedia). [Category: News]
This is not Nixon’s resignation speech, as you might guess. It’s a clip from the regular ABC news broadcast on the day Ford was sworn in as president. Still, it’s pretty interesting, as it shows Ford being sworn in, Nixon saying goodbye to his staff in a long, rambling speech that the newscasters hint was not overly coherent, and an editorial by Howard K. Smith in which he asserts that although the system works, it doesn’t work very well (granted, we didn’t get rid of Nixon as quickly and efficiently as the European examples he cites, but it didn’t involve violence, either, and that’s better than some countries we know). Overall, this is a great bit of news ephemera, bringing back some of the forgotten details of the Watergate affair.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
The Baking Industry (film #186 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
This vocational guidance film focuses on commercial baking. Mostly it shows how bread is made in factories, and this is pretty interesting. There’s also some footage of work in small retail bakeries and some of the narrator’s comments here are kind of questionable. Like when listing the various electrical appliances used in bakeries, he adds, “and in some cases, ovens,” implying that some bakeries must still use open fires. And despite the fact that the film even mentions that women have been the major bakers for thousands of years, he asserts that women are only good for “light work,” such as putting the frosting on cakes or being eye candy at the front counter. These mildly campy moments, as well as the excellent factory tour footage, and footage of all the goodies, make this one of the better of the vocational guidance films, which are usually pretty dull.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Armour’s Electric Trolley (film #14 on Edison Film Archive) [Category: Early Film and TV].
An electric trolley, designed to carry cargo, rolls out of a factory. It’s an interesting piece of old-fashioned technology, giving this film historical interest, but not much else. An 1897 Edison film.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: **. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ***.
Drums O’Voodoo (Sinister Cinema). [Category: Sleaze & Outsider]
This lively all-black cast film from the 30s has a strange premise. A preacher is being harassed by an evil gambler who comes to town. The gambler threatens to reveal an awful secret about the preacher to his congregation unless the preacher lets him have his pretty niece. What’s strange is that a local voodoo granny is enlisted to help out this situation, and she and the preacher are portrayed as comrades, not adversaries. The acting leaves no scenery unchewed and is full of stereotypes, and it ends very abruptly without total resolution. Still, this movie is a great deal of fun, especially counting the inclusion of authentic-sounding gospel music to the very campy revival meeting scene.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
The Children Must Learn (film #313 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Public Service]
This 40s film presents the educational problems of the children of the Appalachian mountain people, and advocates for these children being taught better farming methods within a curriculum that is more relevant to their world than the standard one. The film contains realistic scenes of children at home in their mountain cabins waking up, getting dressed for school, eating a breakfast of cornpone, sausage, and greasy gravy, and walking long distances to a one-room schoolhouse that looks like an artifact of the 19th century. The soundtrack music consists of authentic mountain people folksongs. The film ends up unresolved, as we don’t find out if the new educational program was very helpful or effective. But the film does give us a fascinating snapshot of rural Appalachian life as it was lived in the 40s, as well as projecting a stark, strange mood.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: N/A. Weirdness: ****. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Gillum: The Way That I Am (Brentwood Music, 1992). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
So how does this rock video of a white Christian rapper qualify as ephemera? Because I got it through American Science & Surplus' random tape deal, that's how. And how does it rate as ephemera? About as well as you'd expect a rock video from a white Christian rapper to rate, that's how.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *. Weirdness: *. Historical Interest: **. Overall Rating: **.
Battle of Britain (film #5 in the WWII section of Movieflix (www.movieflix.com). Also, tape #4 of the series WWII Special Edition (Madacy Entertainment, 1997)). [Category: Military & Propaganda]
The WWII Special Edition boxed set is actually the complete "Why We Fight" series directed by Frank Capra, something they don't make clear on the package (see the review of Prelude to War for information on the "Why We Fight" series). This fourth film in the series documents the struggle of Great Britain during the hellacious year of 1940, when Hitler tried to break her spirit through relentless bombing. It's actually quite an exciting, inspiring story. Britain was definitely the underdog, but she won out in the end due to a combination of brilliant fighting by the R.A.F. and a spirit that couldn't be broken. It looks like the archival film footage used here was taken not only from newsreel footage, but also from British propaganda films––there are a lot of amusing scenes of British stiff-upper-lipped pluck ("Is she dead?" "'Fraid so."). One of the more entertaining films in this series.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
The Ann Sothern Show (film #2 in the Primetime TV section of Retromedia). [Category: Outtakes & Obscurities]
Fairly campy opening of the early 60s sitcom “The Ann Sothern Show.” Ms. Sothern wears a polka-dot dress to die for and the sponsor, Post cereals, adds some dorky dancers to the mix. A piece of 60s tv fluff.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ****. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****.
Henry Ford’s Mirror of America (film #659 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: News]
Henry Ford set up a film studio at Ford and that studio made a lot of newsreels and documentaries, documenting American life in the early 20th century. This early 60s film commemorates the donation of those films to the National Archives and contains footage from the films in a collage of American life from 1914 to the mid 20s. We see rural life, factory footage, footage of presidents and other celebrities, lots of footage of World War I, and footage that shows how American life was changed by the automobile. Sound effects are effectively added to this footage, making it seem like sound footage at some points. Narration is added that is not overbearing or distracting, but does give you some idea of what you’re looking at. It all adds up to an interesting portrait of early 20th century American life, somewhat conventional, but with lots of historical value.Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: **. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: *****. Overall Rating: ****.
Design for Dreaming (film #35 on Ephemeral Films CD-ROM (Voyager). Also, film #3 on Lifestyles U.S.A., Vol. 1 (Something Weird, 2000). Also, MST3K Episode #524: 12 to the Moon. Also, film #3 on Our Secret Century, Vol. 1: The Rainbow Is Yours CD-ROM (Voyager). Also, film #422 on Prelinger Archive). [Category: Industrial]
Man, was that a weird dream, or what? No, you're not dreaming, you're watching an industrial film! A woman dreams a man in a tux and a silver mask comes into her bedroom and whisks her away to the GM Motorama at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel. She sings, dances, flies, gets all the cars she wants, makes a frosted cake with lit birthday candles merely by pushing a button in the Kitchen of Tomorrow ("I call no way!" says Crow), cavorts in various fashions, and cruises the Highway of the Future with her silver-masked beau. This film was designed to generate excitement for the Motorama and act as a replacement for it for those who couldn't make it to New York. It all comes off like one of those silly, improvisational "musicals" they do on "Whose Line Is It Anyway?", only with lavish production values ("OK, you're to make up a musical about "the latest fashions", "cars", "birthday cakes", "dreams", and "the future"––go!"). An interesting piece of trivia: Apparently the film has no actual scenes of the Motorama––it was filmed in its entirety on a soundstage in Florida! Msties take note: The Our Secret Century CD-ROM has an interview with Tad Tadlock, the original Nuveena!Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: *****. Weirdness: *****. Historical Interest: *****. Msting: ***. Overall Rating: ****.
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Better Reading
Better Reading . Teenager Harold Wilson has a problem—he can’t read for (expletive deleted). So he has to spend all his free time studying ...
